Sorry for the double posting of Chapter 9 (I really hate how this sites uploading features are set up). All fixed now
Confrontation time! Don't worry. their is only like 0.01% angst.
Thank you CMM for being my Beta. All mistakes are still mine.
/
I don't own Star Trek
/
/
/
Kirk wakes up on Tuesday feeling conflicted. He spent the previous night processing the information his mother gave him and the events he had witnessed himself and now had context.
He doesn't know how to feel.
All he knows is that he isn't ready to face Spock just yet.
Jim walks over to the bathroom door, where behind it, his room mate is getting ready for his day. Kirk knocks on the wooden barrier.
"Hey Bones, I need to ask you for a favour."
The blond steps back as the door whips open and the scowling face of Leonard McCoy appears.
"What do you want? I ain't got any more detox hypos! Just this once, you're gonna have to suck it up and suffer through your goddamn hangover, and frankly, it's no more than you deserve. Maybe you'll quit trying to slaughter your brain cells if you don't have me enabling you!"
Kirk smiles and shakes his head at his ranting friend. He wonders if McCoy would have been better suited to being an actor, because he sure can ham it up.
"That's not what I need. I was wondering if you could send a message to all of my professors, excusing me from classes today. I feel a little under the weather."
Jim can see the exact moment when McCoy's face switches from 'annoyed friend' to 'professional healer'.
'Just great. I have released the mother hen!'
The older man's palm rests on Jim's forehead, checking for a fever. Kirk can't help but roll his eyes at the action. The hand drops to his shoulder and begins guiding him to his bunk.
Kirk decides to lie down, because arguing with Bones is an exercise in futility.
"You don't have a fever, but that means nothing. Your body is probably just rebelling because you have been pushing it too hard since your injury. I told you before that you needed to rest, but ofcourse, 'Dr. Kirk' didn't listen to me. And you never did explain what happened to your hands! Did you get in another bar fight? Damn it, Jim, you know you'll get your ass thrown out of here if you get caught fighting too many times. "
Kirk just lays back and rests his head on his hands as he waits for the good doctor to run out of steam. It doesn't take long.
"You don't move from this bed all day, do you hear? I'm gonna send off those messages and then head out to class, which will give you peace and quiet so you can sleep and regain your strength."
Guilt is beginning to settle in Kirk's stomach. He hates that he's worrying his friend so, but he doesn't have the guts to explain the real reason why he can't face going to class. He keeps silent as McCoy stands at the terminal and sends the messages.
Bones walks over to where his young friend is reclining and places a comforting hand on Jim's shoulder.
"I have to head out now, but if you need me, just text me, and I'll come back."
Kirk places his hand atop his friend's and pats it softly.
"Thanks Bones. You're a good friend."
McCoy removes his hand and points his finger at Kirk.
"You remember that the next time I need to give you a booster hypo. I don't want to hear any bitchin' from you."
The older man spins on his heels, grabs his bag and heads out the door before Jim can respond.
Kirk lets out a sigh when he knows that he is alone. He can now work through the jumble of thoughts that currently fill his head, without interruption.
He can acknowledge pretty much straight away that the idea of Spock sneaking kisses is a pretty awesome one. It means the attraction is not as one-sided as he originally thought. He actually gets a little hard knowing that Spock could do something so daring, where anyone could see (and Gaila had!).
The stolen kisses don't bother him at all. It's the telepathy that's eating at him. Or to be more specific, the possible use of telepathy without his permission. He has no problem sharing his mind, but he likes to know when he is doing it.
The idea of such violation makes him shudder. He would never be able to trust anyone who was capable of invading his mind without permission. If Spock truly violated his boundaries that way—Jim suddenly feels sick and cold. Maybe he wasn't lying to Bones when he said he felt under the weather.
Kirk gets to his feet and begins pacing the room.
His heart knows that Spock wouldn't do something like that, but his mind is plagued with doubt.
'This is getting me no where. I am just going around in circles. I will just have to talk with Spock and then we can go from there.'
With that decision made, Kirk grabs his communicator and sends a message to Spock. He tells the Vulcan that he will be well enough to attend their tutoring session later that night.
He receives a reply almost immediately and that makes him smile.
I am relieved to hear that you are feeling better. I will see you tonight. -Prof. Spock
Kirk sits down at the desk and turns on the computer. There is one thing he has been planning to do for a while and now feels, that with all the information he has gathered, he must do before he meets with Spock.
He puts his glasses on and starts searching for the correct request form he needs to fill out. He completes it and sends it off to Pike before he starts getting ready to meet with Spock.
/
/
Kirk has been standing in front of Spock's door for the last 10 minutes. He can't seem to find the nerve to press the buzzer. The urge to run starts to seep into his mind. The option to act on that urge is taken away from him however, when Spock appears in the doorway.
"I was not aware that we had changed the location for out sessions to the hallway. Give me a moment and I will retrieve my materials."
Kirk lets out a bark of laughter and shoves his way into the apartment.
"Ha, ha. You're a funny guy, you know that?"
Spock is staring at Kirk as the cadet drops his bag on the table.
"I was not trying to be amusing. I was merely make an obser..."
Jim spins to face the Vulcan and interrupts him.
"I know you have been giving me Vulcan kisses."
Spock simply raises an eyebrow at this statement.
"I am aware that you are fluent in Klingon."
Kirk's mouth drops in surprise. He was not expecting that.
"Obviously we have both been keeping secrets. I will admit that my omission is slightly more serious in manner, but you are hardly an innocent party. Requesting a tutor when one was obviously not needed is hardly the actions of an innocent."
A cold feeling overtakes Kirk as a sense of dread settles at the base of his spine. The room has stopped spinning enough for him to gain his power of speech. His voice comes out in a whisper.
"How did you find out? Did you read my mind?"
Kirk holds his breath as he waits for an answer. It rushes out of him in relief when he catches Spock shaking his head.
"Never once, when we have touched, have I ever penetrated your mind. I understand your concerns; I know that telepathy is frequently unsettling to humans who are not familiar with it. My race regards others' privacy as sacred. We ensure that we shield appropriately. Please believe me I could never abuse your trust like that."
Kirk's whole body relaxes at that admission. His mind is now at ease.
'Oh, thank God for that!'
His relief is so overpowering that it takes him a minute to realise that Spock has not answered his other questions.
"That's really good to know, but you haven't told me how you found out about my knowledge of languages."
Spock walks to the sofa and sits down. He pats the space next to him in invitation. Kirk joins him on the love seat.
"When Captain Pike asked me of you could join my class, I enquired after your proficiency in xenoliguistics. The Captain was good enough to tell me that you were fluent in Klingon, Andronian and capable in both Vulcan and all three dialects of Romulan. I was quite impressed."
Both men are facing each other on the sofa. The Vulcan has amusement shining in his eyes. The human is beet red with embarrassment.
"You knew the whole time, yet you agreed to tutor me, why?"
This time it is Spock's turn for his face to colour. Kirk can't help but find that particular shade of green extremely attractive.
"I wished to spend more time with you in a more private setting. Something happened when we first meet that ensured that I could not keep my distance from you."
Kirk is unconsciously brushing his fingers along the back of Spock's hand as he tries to recall the day they met. It feels as if it was a hundred years ago.
He can't remember any event that could account for what Spock is saying.
"What happened when we met?"
Spock is staring down at their hands with slightly dilated pupils. He turns his hand over and grasps Kirk pink-tinted hand in his green one.
"Have you been able to pick my voice out of a crowd? Do you know when I enter a room, before you have seen me? Do you feel an all consuming need to seek out my company before all others?"
Kirk is captured by brown eyes blazing into his blue one. Spock entwines their fingers and Jim feels as if his heart is about to burst out his chest.
"Yes. All of that and more."
Kirk whispers this but he knows that the Vulcan has heard him. Spock leans forward and presses his forehead gently against the cadet's.
They sit there for a moment just breathing in each others' scent. Kirk's hand comes up and caresses Spock's silky black hair, loving the feel of it beneath his fingers, loving even more the faint, almost imperceptible way Spock leans into his touch, as if he's starved for the feeling of Jim's hands on his flesh.
"Tell me why. Please?"
They are so close now that Kirk can feel Spock's slightly ragged breath on his lips.
Suddenly two hands are on Jim's shoulders and are pushing him away until there is a foot of distance between them.
Kirk raises a quizzical eyebrow at the Vulcan.
"I cannot think clearly with you so close. Allow me some space, just until I explain."
Kirk wants to object, but he also wants answers. His curiosity beats out his libido (but only just). He nods his head and leans back slightly.
"You must understand that what has happened between us is extremely rare. My research has uncovered that the last recorded case was over a thousand years ago."
Kirk waits, but it seems that the Vulcan is unsure if he should continue.
Kirk gently takes Spock's hand and squeezes it encouragingly.
"Go on."
He says this quietly.
"What's going on with us that happens only once every thousand years? I get the fact that what has happened between us is rare, but you haven't explained WHAT has happened between us. If it makes you feel better, nothing you say could possibly upset me."
Spock inhales a deep breath and sighs.
"When two beings who are completely compatible in mind, body and spirit meet, an instant and powerful connection is formed. That is what happened to us. It is something so rare and perfect that frankly, I had difficulty accepting it at first. But I know what I feel, and I know what has happened."
Kirk searches Spock face, trying to find a reason for why the Vulcan is so nervous.
"What exactly do you mean by connection?"
Spock cups Kirk's cheek lovingly and Jim's eyes close as he leans into the touch.
"T'hy'la, it means that we are bonded. In terms you may understand, we are married."
Kirk is so busy basking in the warmth of Spock's hand that it takes him a second to fully absorb what has been said.
When Spock's words finally sink into his love-dazed brain, his eyes shoot open.
Jim pulls away out of Spock's reach and blinks at him in shock.
"Bullshit!"
/
The next chapter is ready to be posted but you are gonna have to wait until tomorrow :P