Dean hugged Castiel tightly, hearing a small crack in the angel's spine. Castiel grunted in response, hugging him back. He tried closing his eyes, but couldn't, for every time he did, the fragile angel saw the memories of hell lurking behind his eyelids. That was something Dean had stopped experiencing after he had gotten to know Castiel a little better. Castiel had healed him. And Dean now only had three months to do the same.
Castiel's lips slid across Dean's and rested at the back of his jaw. He quietly whispered, "What did you do, Dean? I sense despair."
The tears still flowed from his eyes as he kissed Castiel again, breathing in Castiel's scent, and losing himself in the quiet moans that slipped out of the angels lips every time they stopped to take quickened breathes. Castiel lightly pushed him. "Dean. Tell me. Stop stalling."
Dean looked at him sadly. "I'm not stalling, I'm trying to get it all out of my system. Because in three months, I'm going to take your place down there."
Castiel's eyes widened. "What?! You did what?!
Dean cringed at the pain and anger mixed in Castiel's voice. All he wanted to do was sit down and cry. Castiel gripped Dean's jacket. "What were you thinking? How could you be quite so selfish Dean? What am I supposed to do with you gone? What do you think that's going to do to me?!"
Dean just stared at Castiel, not sure what sort of excuse could ever make up for the humungous proclivities that the puny human held.
"You really think I want to hurt you Cas?" Dean watched sadly. He stroked the side of Castiel's face softly, but he just pushed the hand away and turned to walk away.
Dean wrapped his arms around the angel's waist, begging whatever was listening to keep Dean's love beside him.
Castiel shoved his elbow back into Dean's abdomen.
Dean fell backwards.
"Don't leave me." Dean called, reaching his hand out to Castiel.
Cas just turned around. "I'm afraid I'm going have to abandon you the way you have just abandoned me, Dean."
Dean fell to his knees and watched Castiel walk away. Castiel's eyes filled with hot, angry tears. Of course he didn't want to leave Dean. He wanted to run back and kiss him, and not let go of him until those three months were up. He just couldn't bear to see Dean's face, contorted and upset. But it took everything Castiel had to walk away like that.
Castiel's heart was beating the inside of his chest as if a sledge hammer had replaced his unfortunately human heart. He couldn't help it. Angels aren't supposed to feel but right at this moment Castiel was feeling every single emotion and beyond that a human was capable of feeling.
Dean slowly slipped into a drunken unconsciousness, and the last thing he saw before the sea of darkness covered his eyes was the love of his life walking away from him, sending one last agonizing kick to the inside of his rib cage.
Castiel saw him and turned to face a tree, and proceeded to vomit next to it, using one hand pressed to the trunk to hold himself up.
He wiped his mouth and cried more. The thought of the sadness he would feel after Dean was gone wouldn't stop jarring his body, crushing it with waves of pain with every thought and every image that evolved in Castiel's mind.
All he could do was keep repeating, "He's leaving me...he's leaving me..."
He went back to the hotel and washed his mouth out. He cried himself to sleep, not noticing the note on Sam's bed that read;
"Dean,
Look, I'm really sorry about earlier. I think that maybe this would not have happened if I weren't here. So you go get Cas and I'll just go my own separate way. I promise it'll be better this way I'm sorry.
Sammy"