Disclaimer - I don't own twilight or any of its character. It belongs to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.
Thanks to Alley83 for all her help with this chapter.
Bella
"Wow, I didn't realise that there would be this many people here. The car park is almost full."
"Yeah, it gets pretty busy on a Sunday." I reply.
The last 20 minutes have probably been some of the most awkward in my existence. Edward and I have barely exchanged two words, except for when I gave him permission to change CD's. He spent the whole time constantly changing songs, I don't think we actually listened to a whole song from start to finish.
Luckily, Daisy didn't seem to notice the uncomfortable tension and was content to stare out of the window making odd comments about which animals she wants to see and what she wants to buy at the gift shop.
I guide us over to the entrance and we join the long queue of people waiting to buy tickets.
"Have you been to the zoo before, Daddy?"
"Yep, but it's been years since I've last been. I used to love coming when I was a kid. Nanny Esme and Grampa Carlisle used to bring me here most weekends in the summer. It was one of my most favorite days out."
"Have I ever been to the zoo before Daddy?"
A brief look of distress crosses Edward's face before he replies, "No, baby, I don't think you ever have not unless Tanya brought you."
We all know that expecting Tanya to have done something so selfless is wishful thinking.
"Nope. Tanya always made me just practice the alphabet, that means I'm doubly excited to come today. It's my first time! Bella, have you been to the zoo before?"
"Yeah, my dad Charlie used to bring sometimes. He isn't a big fan of animals, though, so we never stayed for very long."
We carry on with the small talk until we reach the ticket booth and Edward pulls out a fifty paying for us all before I have a chance to protest.
I reach out and grab a map and make my way inside.
"Where shall we go first?" I ask.
"Can we go see the penguins? I love penguins."
Edward pulls the map from my hands and looks it over.
"Daddy, it's rude to snatch things off other people. You gotta ask first."
Edward looks down at her in awe before blushing slightly at being reprimanded by a five year old girl.
"Sorry, Bella. Sorry, Daisy."
He looks at the map for a while longer, Daisy growing more and more impatient by the second.
"I think it would make more sense to head right to the back of the park and work our way forward. It's only just opened and everyone always gets distracted by the first animals and attractions that they see. It will be quietest at the back."
Daisy's face falls in disappointment. Edward's plan makes sound logic but that's not what this day is all about.
"I don't think so, Edward. I agree with Daisy, penguins first."
He gives me a incredulous look, before handing the map back to me.
"Ok, Bella, lead the way."
We make our way over to the penguin zone and Edward is right, this part of the park is heaving with people, but I'm determined and we resiliently make our way to the front.
Daisy's eyes light up as soon as she catches sight of a penguin sliding along the ice on his stomach.
"Look at the Daddy, look Bella! That's so cool!"
"Do you see over there Daisy? The zoo keeper is feeding the penguin fish." Edward points off to the edge of the enclosure.
"Yep, it's cause I think fish is penguin's favorite food. I hate fish."
"Do you? Why don't you like it? Fish is good for you. It's full of Omega 3 fatty acids which help your brain develop and function properly. I never knew you didn't eat fish."
I'm amazed that Edward didn't know something so simple about his daughter, and from his knitted eyebrows, I think he is amazed too.
"Nope, it tastes too fishy. It's horrible."
"Bella, can we get a penguin?"
"Not really, sweetie. Penguins aren't pets. They only live in zoos and the Antarctic. We would never be able to look after a penguin properly."
"Ahh, that sucks. I really wish I had a pet."
We continue to watch the penguins and I assume the subject has been dropped, until Edward shocks us both.
"Maybe we could get you a dog or a cat? They're much better suited to being pets."
Daisy can barely contain her excitement and throws her little body around his legs.
"You're the best daddy in the world. Do you mean it?"
Does he mean it? Animals need a lot of care.
"I don't see why not. Of course it depends on what Bella says as well, she is the one who looks after you. She would have to help remind you when to feed an animal and help you look after it when I'm at work."
I feel my anger rise. I can't believe that he's put such a huge decision on me. I don't want the added responsibility of looking after an animal, but how can I say no now. He's backed me into a corner!
"We'll see. We need to have a good think about it. Having a pet is a lot of responsibility and I'm not sure if you're ready for that yet."
"I am! Please Bella, just think about it. I would love a little puppy. It would be so cute. Can it sleep in my bed?"
"No. No animals upstairs." Edward firmly adds. From the way he says it, it seems like the decision to get a pet has already been made, whether I like it or not.
I huff a little bit before burying my nose in the map, taking a few deep breathes to stop myself from creating a scene with Edward. He needs to know that he can't buy his daughter's affection.
"Let's go see the elephants now," I say.
"Ok. I like elephants. Will you hold my hand, Daddy, cause elephants are quite big and scary. They might squish me."
He takes her free hand, her other already securely held in mine.
"I would never let them squish you. I'm never going to let anyone or anything hurt you."
She beams up at him, basking in his attention.
By lunch time, we have only made it round to see five different animals but I think we've all had a good time, even Edward. There has been no more mention of a pet, and for the most part Edward hasn't done anything to make me angry. I'm actually pleased that he has come along. He and Daisy have been exchanging small talk all morning, learning more about each other's like and dislikes. It's definitely progress.
"Should we stop somewhere for lunch?" I ask. I skipped breakfast this morning after waking up late.
"What sort of thing do you fancy, Bella? Daisy?"
"What's the choices, daddy?"
"Looks like we can get burgers, hotdogs, fries or sandwiches."
"I want a hotdog and fries, please."
"Bella?"
"I can get my own lunch, Edward." I feel weird about him paying for everything.
"No, please, it's my treat. What do you fancy?"
"I'll have the same as Daisy then please."
"Ok then. You girls go and find us a spot to sit and I'll get the food."
I quickly survey the picnic area, noticing that there are no free benches or tables for us to sit at, which is what I anticipated. It was the same when me and my Dad used to come here, and we always had to have lunch standing up. My dad always used to drop hotdog relish down his front.
Good job I came prepared.
"There's a free spot over there on the grass Daisy. I brought a picnic blanket with me."
"That's such a cool idea."
She runs ahead over to the grassy area and I look around for Edward and signal to him the general direction of where we'll be.
After spreading the blanket down, I sit down next to Daisy before lying down and stretching out. It's turning into a surprisingly sunny day. I move to face Daisy and we spend a few minutes chatting and giggling waiting for Edward. Her excitement and joy is infectious.
"Bella, I'm so happy that my daddy is here with us. Do you know his most favorite animal is the mountain lions? That's so cool!"
"Yeah, they are great animals."
"Did you know what a mountain lion's food is?"
"Nope. Do you know?"
"Daddy, said they eat elk, sheep, deer and rabbits, kinda gross." She wrinkles her nose in disgust.
"Your daddy is pretty smart, isn't he?"
"Yeah, he's really smart. He knows everything, that's how come he's a doctor. You've got to have a big brain to be a doctor. Bella, am I smart?"
"Yes, you are. You're one of the smartest little girls I know."
"I think I want to be a doctor just like Daddy."
"Really? I think you would make a great doctor if that's what you want to be. You've got plenty of time to think about it."
"That's what Daddy said too. It would be so cool if I was a doctor like daddy, though, cause then we could go to work together."
She looks so sincere and thoughtful.
Bless her.
"Hey, what are you girls talking about?"
"Nothing really. It's not important." I don't want Edward to know we've been talking about him, "Did they have everything we wanted?"
"Yes. Here we go."
Daisy quickly leans over me, grabbing her hot dog and knocking over one of the drinks in the process. I see it all happening but my reflexes are too slow to stop the drink from spilling over the tray and seeping into Edward's trousers.
"Daisy! Look what you've done now. You need to watch what you're doing and be more patient." His face is turning red in anger and I'm silently praying that things won't get out of hand. We're having such a nice day.
"I'm sorry, Daddy. It's was an accident, I didn't mean to. I'm sorry." Tears are welling in her eyes and her bottom lip is quivering.
I snatch up the white paper napkins and start to frantically dabbing the wet patch on Edward's thigh, desperately trying to control the situation. I'm so focused on diffusing the situation that I give no consideration to how this may look to other people, or to the fact that my hands are dangerously close to venturing into off-limits territory.
"It's really not that bad. It's a warm day, it'll dry quickly."
"Bella! Bella! Would you just stop please! Now." His strong fingers circle around my wrists and pull my hands away from him. I gasp at the contact feeling the familiar spark of electricity and the warm tingles that it sets off. His grip is firm and my breathe catches in my throat. I bravely look up to meet his eyes. All the color has drained from his face, and been replaced by a pained expression.
"I don't need your help. I can sort this out myself."
He drops my wrists from his hands and sets about cleaning up the mess. I can't help but stare down at the places where his hands and fingers have just been. The searing heat of his touch gone, replaced by an uncomfortable cold feeling and I find myself wishing that he would touch me again.
Silly Bella, of course he doesn't want your help. Why would he want you touching him like that? Can't you see how inappropriate it is?
"Look, don't cry Daisy. Your right it was just an accident, and Daddy is being silly. Here, you can have my drink. I wasn't that thirsty anyway."
Edward's voice breaks me out of my lust induced haze, and I see him moving closer to Daisy, handing her his drink and setting out her fries in front of her.
"It's ok, daddy. We can share the drink." She manages a little smile as Edward brushes the remaining tears from her face.
"Miss Swan, are you going to eat? I wouldn't want you to waste this fine cuisine."
I slowly pick up my hotdog and take a bit, although my stomach is in knots and I know I'm not going to be able to eat much. I shake my head trying to clear my thoughts.
What is this man doing to me?
Lunch passes quickly as Daisy continues to chatter incessantly about school, her projects, her friends and the animals she still wants to see. Edward surprises me by asking her questions and lapping up all the information she's providing him. It's the longest conversation I have ever seen them have, perhaps the longest conversation they have ever had.
"Daddy, Bella, I'm finished now. Can I go play in the play area for a bit, please?"
"I think that would be ok, Bella?" Edward answers her but looks to me for confirmation that it's ok., which I'm secretly pleased about.
"That's fine, sweetie. I just want you to be careful. There's a lot of other kids over there and I don't want you to get hurt. We still have to see the zebra's yet."
"I will, Bella." She kisses my cheek before skipping off and a small blush covers my face at her display of affection. I can feel Edward looking at me and wonder what he's thinking. I don't want him to think I'm over-stepping the mark as Daisy's nanny. Surely, it's natural for me and Daisy to develop affections for each other, after all we spend all our time together. I don't want him to assume that I'm trying to take the place of her mother.
Definitely
We sit in companionable silence for a short while, both closely watching Daisy's every move, Edward more so than me.
"It makes me nervous that she's over there on her own, and I'm over here. It was like that when she got lost."
I silently wait for him to continue, badly hoping that he does and that I get a chance to learn more about him.
"Tanya took her to the park and sent her off to play. She didn't go into the play area with her. She spent the afternoon sunbathing on a blanket, much like we are now. I'm so scared that something bad will happen to her that I can hardly bare to take my eyes of her, even to blink."
"Things are different now," I reason. "Daisy wandered off that day trying to get away from Tanya. She would never do that to you. She wants to be with you. Today has meant a lot to her."
"I don't think I have ever been as terrified as I was in the time after I got your call. Every possible scenario was running through my head. I had no idea who you were, or what you wanted. I don't even remember how I got to your house. I was on autopilot. I do know what I would do without her. If anything were ever to happen…I couldn't…I wouldn't be able to live without her."
The sudden serious turn in direction of our conversation creates as sombre mood and I can't help but think about my past. I feel a few tears trickle down my cheeks and I quickly swipe them away, praying that he hasn't seen.
"Bella, what's wrong?" The concern is his voice is unexpected but welcomed all the same.
"Nothing. It's nothing. You talking just got me thinking about something, but I'm alright. God, I'm so emotional sometimes."
I giggle trying to lighten up the mood and stop any further questions from being asked. I sniff and he hands me a tissue.
"For danger of sounding like an insensitive prick, maybe we should talk about something else. How's your art coming along?"
I'm so grateful that he's changed the subject, a little surprised that he's let my near breakdown go so quickly.
I proceed to tell him about my end of year project and my plans for my Masters, and he shares some bits and pieces about his time in college. The rest of lunch passes quickly and it's not long before we're exploring the rest of the zoo, and visiting the gift shop.
By the time we get back to the car, the afternoon is well over and Daisy is struggling to keep her eyes open, her head rested on Edward's shoulder as he carries her. The ride back home is once again silent, but Edward puts in one of my favorite classical CD's so it's actually quite a pleasant experience. I completely forget about his car being at his parent's house and drive us straight home, but he reassures me that it's alright and that his Dad is going to give him a lift into work in the morning.
Just as we reach the house his phone rings, so after we pull up I jump out and reach into get Daisy, giving him some privacy. I carry her up to bed and change her into her pyjamas. She doesn't even wake up once.
I make my way back down stairs just as Edward is walking through the door, bags in hand. His hair looks ten times messier than it did before I left him in the car, and I find myself wondering who was on the phone. He has a habit of tugging at his hair when he's stressed or worried.
Why do you know this, Bella?
We awkwardly face each other, neither really sure what to say, so he settles for handing me my bag. The straps get twisted on his fingers though, and as I struggle to take it from him, the whole thing drops to the floor and my stuff scatters across the hall.
I bend down, my hands flying off in all directions as I try to gather all my stuff. Edward bends down to help me, but freezes seconds later. As I shove the lasts bits in, my notebook and phone, I look up to see what is holding his attention and almost die of embarrassment. There in his left hand, is my familiar green pill packet, my contraceptives. I snatch them from him and hastily get them out of sight.
"I keep them in my bag because I sometimes forget to take them. If they're in my bag and I always have them with me, I never forget and…"
"Please Miss Swan," he holds his hand up to silence me before continuing, "I really don't need to hear this. The contents of your bag are private." His voice is stern and his whole posture is stiff.
Why are you explaining, Bella? And, why are you suddenly Miss Swan again? What business is it of his if you take the pill?
"I should go to bed," I mutter wanting to be free of this situation.
"Goodnight then, Miss Swan. I will be in my office should you need anything. Also, you should know that Daisy's grandmother wants to take her to the theatre tomorrow evening, so you will be free of your duties for the night."
The cold and formal Dr Cullen has made a full return, and I know without asking that he's referring to Didyme, not Esme.
"Tomorrow night? It's Sunday today. Tomorrow night is a school night."
"Your point being?"
He's her father, Bella. Stop talking.
"Nothing, I was just checking. What should she wear and what time should I have her ready for?"
"6:30pm and put her in anything you see fit. A dress, perhaps?"
"Ok. Um, goodnight then."
I turn on my heal and retreat to the sanctuary of my room.
I shower before bed and I relish the soothing feeling of the hot water caressing my aching muscles. Today has certainly been a long day, but a good one. Edward and Daisy definitely made progress and I'm proud of him for making such an effort, although his mood swings are still baffling. It's like he's two different people sometimes, and what is with him letting Didyme take Daisy out on a school night. I thought bed time was at 7:15, no exceptions.
He's such an infuriating man.
I slip on my pyjamas and snuggle up under my duvet, trying to think of what I can do tomorrow evening now that Daisy won't be home. I don't like the idea of being in the house with Edward alone. He has a strange power over me and I don't want anything crazy to happen.
Maybe he will be at work?
It's not chance I want to take. I reach for my phone and scroll through my phone book. Alice and Rose both seem off limits after the fiasco that was this morning. Neither will be ready to see the other yet, and I don't want to see either of them individually and have the other think I'm taking sides. I pause when I reach the letter 'E' in my contacts list.
Evanson, Alec.
I haven't seen him since Daisy's party. Despite our promise to get together, we've both just been too busy. I cancelled on him and then he cancelled on me. Life has just been conspiring against us.
Maybe….
I press the call button and tentatively place the phone to my ear, part of me wishing that he doesn't pick up and I can leave a message.
"Hello." He answered.
"Hi Alec, its Bella. Bella Swan."
"Hey, Bella. How are you? How is life over at the Cullen's treating you?"
"Stressful and busy, but I wouldn't change it for the world. How are things with you?"
"Things are good. I'm working at my dad's firm this summer, helping the lawyers on a few cases and stuff."
"Sounds fun. You must be pretty busy too, huh?"
"Yeah, quite busy. I have to work some long hours. My dad can be quite flexible if I need time off though."
"Really? That's good. I was actually wondering if you were busy tomorrow night, maybe you would like to do something?"
I speak in a rush, nervous and not accustomed to having to make the first move with a guy.
"Bella Swan, are you asking me out on a date?" He teases.
"Um, yes."
"You don't sound very sure?"
I muster up all my courage.
"Yes, I'm sure. Alec Evanson will go on a date with me."
"Why Bella, I would love to, on one condition, you let me plan it. I'll pick up at 7:00pm?"
"Sounds good. I look forward to it. I'm glad we're finally going to do this."
"Me too. Sweet dreams and I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bye Alec."
I have a good feeling that this date might actually happen, and I'm surprised by how excited I feel.
I'm finally going to do it. I'm finally going to move on with my love life.
I'm going on a date.
I hope everyone enjoyed the trip to the zoo.
Thanks for reading and, as always, I would love to know what you think.
I hope everyone has a good weekend!