:)
"I hate this." A beat passed, "I really hate this." A single beat. "I really fucking hate this."
"Oh my God, Korsak. We get it. You hate it." Jane groaned, slapping her pen on her notebook and looking at her friend. "What do you need help with?" Jane stressed and looked at him with her eyebrow quirked.
Frost, Korsak and Jane were all sitting in Maura's bedroom studying for their midterms. Jane and Maura were bent over their textbooks while Frost was taking a break playing the Kim Kardashian game on his phone, thinking no one would notice, and Korsak was trying to focus on his work. Trying and failing. They had midterms in a couple of days and they were all trying to study up, making sure that they don't fail. Which was proving to be a struggle for the boys.
"It's just this freaking Chem. I don't understand. And after this I'm gonna have to take a look at my English. I still don't get the symbolism of a fire. It's just a fire, right? I'm still not over that fucking fire." Korsak lamented and Jane walked over to look at what her friend was working on. Jane began to read through the problem and got bored about halfway through. Maura noticed Jane's silence and shook her head at her girlfriend.
"I can help you, Vince." Maura said, putting her pen down softly and leaving her position from her desk to look at his work.
"Thanks, Maura. Thanks for nothing, Jane." Korsak smirked and Jane rolled her eyes at him. She at least tried, she couldn't help being bored close to tears.
"Ah, please. Maura didn't give me a chance. And Frost didn't even try to help. He's too busy being a D lister." Jane baited.
"Hey now!" Hook and sinker. "Zip it! This is very important to me. I refuse to let Willow Pape bring me down. Plus, I just made the C list." Frost stressed without even looking up from his screen. Jane just shook her head and went back to studying her Anatomy. It looked like Korsak was finally getting a handle on his Chem work, if his outburst said anything about it.
"Ha! Take that, Chemistry! I'm about to make this exam my bitch!" He yelled and began furiously working on the next problem in his review.
"Nice job, Maura. You've created a monster." Jane said teasingly.
"Never underestimate the power of science."
"Me? Why I would never." Jane teased and Maura playfully glared at Jane before turning back to her work.
There was a knock on the door and Maura gave a faint "come in" not looking up from her notes. The door opened and Esmeralda walked in with a silver platter in tow.
"I come bearing gifts." She said and set the platter of food on the table. The guys hurried and headed straight for the food, quickly welcoming the break, as if they were actually working in the first place. Jane cleared her throat and the guys looked up ashamed upon looking at Jane's unamused face.
"Thank you, Esme." They said and Jane smiled at them as if she were a proud mother.
"Good boys." Jane teased and they both stuck their tongues out at her and then went back to their food.
Children.
I'm sorry, and what does that make you?
The leader of the children. Like Tommy Pickles. Ha, yeah. I'm basically Tommy Pickles.
But wouldn't that be more Maura?
Please, let me dream for awhile, okay?
Right.
"Thank you, Esmeralda. I appreciate it." Maura said turning around from her work and smiled warmly. Esme waved her off, letting her know that it was no big deal.
"Anything for my favorite group of kids. Study hard." Esme said turning around and shutting the door behind her.
"You want anything, Maura?" Jane asked and Maura shook her head in lieu of a verbal response and went back to her studies. Jane headed over and grabbed a finger sandwich to nibble on and brought one over to Maura.
"C'mon, Maur. You need to eat. We've been working for a long time. You're the science person, you know the body works better with fuel." Jane said as she put the tiny sandwich in Maura's hand.
"Well I should hope you aren't putting gasoline in your body. But regardless, thank you." She said gratefully and took a bite into the sandwich.
"Seriously, Simon? I JUST got done with an 8 hour shoot. This is ridiculous." Frost griped and Korsak snorted.
"Dude, you're so lame."
"Give me a break. Go back to your science." Frost voiced aggravated. Korsak huffed and went back to pretending he was a world renowned chemist.
"Hey, Maur. What subject are you on now?" Jane said walking over to Maura and leaned over her shoulder to catch a glimpse on the sheets she was working on.
"I just began AP Biology. Why? Does 'O great Jane Rizzoli need help with her studies?" Maura teased and Jane recoiled back aghast at such a statement. Jane Rizzoli? Asking for help? Oh what a sight to be seen.
"Me? Oh, never! I just started AP Bio too. I just wanted to know what the majority of the exam was gonna be on. Do you know?" Jane inquired and Maura smirked at her girlfriend, amused by her asking for help.
"Mainly on the latest chapters we've covered. Not so much on basic cells. Probably one or two questions at best." Maura answered and Jane smiled appreciatively and kissed her loudly on the cheek.
"Thanks, babe. You da best. Don't really wanna have to do more studying than I have to." Jane said and walked back to her spot on Maura's bed and attempted to get back to work. Which of course failed.
I don't know why I even asked. It's not like I'm gonna actually attempt it.
"Hey, this game is pretty addicting." Korsak stated, apparently not on his science high anymore. He had began playing the Kim Kardashian game under Frost's obviously bad influence.
It's an epidemic. The world needs help.
Oh please. Don't pretend like you weren't tempted to see what all the fuss is about.
I must remain strong.
"I told you. It's great huh? I just figured out some cheats for it. I can help you out. Get you A list faster. I actually can't believe I didn't think to hack it in the first place." Frost said excitedly, obviously all game to use his hacking skills.
"Could you? Oh man I'm so excited. Looks like they are teaching you something helpful in your programming class." Korsak said and eagerly handed his phone over to Frost.
"Yeah the class is pretty great actually. I like it a lot." Frost said as he began working away on Korsak's phone.
"Is Kim Kardashian even considered A list? I mean, yeah she has a show and everyone knows her, but what does she really have going for her?" Jane asked baffled. Frost looked at her like she had grown two heads.
"Please, don't ever speak to me like that again. It's vile, it's disrespectful. Please show Kim some respect." Jane quirked an eyebrow at his outburst. Speaking of Kim Kardashian in such high regard? It must be the ass, there is no other explanation.
He must not know who the true reigning queen is. Somebody's gotta tell him.
"But is she Beyoncé? Okay then." Jane tossed back and Frost sat back shocked and then nodded slowly in agreement. Never cross Queen Bey.
"You're right. I can't fight that. You win. Beyoncé is queen." He mock bowed and Jane snickered.
"Thank you." Jane said taking on a horribly inaccurate regal british accent.
"Doesn't hurt that Beyoncé is also hotter than Kim." Korsak interjected, looking up from his phone for the first time since Frost had given him his phone back. That game needs it's own version of AA.
"You're right, my friend. You're right. Never hurts." Jane agreed to which Maura cleared her throat and glared at Jane. Jane got up and walked over to her girlfriend plopped heavily onto her lap, capturing her lips between hers softly.
"But of course no one beats my beautiful girlfriend." Jane said trying to acquiesce Maura. Maura rolled her eyes at her girlfriend's poor attempt at an apology.
"Nice try. Now go finish your review." Jane groaned and nestled her head in Maura's neck and pouted. The last ting Jane wanted to do was go back to studying.
"Ugh, no. No more studying. I just want winter break already. Also I want nap time." She groaned while closing her eyes pretending to sleep and Maura giggled.
"Just a few more days and then we're on break. You can make it, Jane, I assure you." Maura offered and Jane just shook her head and grumbled as she got up to go back to her work. She plopped heavily on the bed and went on to give a very dramatic display to convey how much she really didn't want to study.
"You're starting to sound a lot like Vince and Barry now, Jane." Maura tossed at Jane to which both of the boys gasped at.
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Frost exclaimed.
"I only meant the strong aversion to do work." Maura amended, however, this did not seem to appease them.
"We do work! I'm actually working right now. I'm on my way to a photo shoot Kim recommended me for after my energy is back up." Korsak stated proudly, as if he were legitimately working his way up the A list. There was a knocking on Maura's door, again, Maura told the person to come in. The door opened and Desmond Isles walked in, glancing at all of the papers and notebooks haphazardly on the ground.
"How's the studying coming, Kids?" Desmond asked and Jane, Korsak and Frost groaned in sync while Maura laughed at their reactions. They had been studying for hours on end, their brains were just about fried.
"Don't mind them. Things are going well, thanks for asking." Maura said and Desmond smiled at their apparent disdain.
"That's good. I'm actually here for Jane. Jane, may I borrow you for a moment?" He asked and Jane swallowed a nervous lump in her throat and followed Desmond out of the door.
"You can relax. Hopefully what we're about to do will help you relax actually. I know it's something you enjoy." He said as he lead her into the basement.
"You're not gonna like, kill me down here are you, sir?" Jane asked shakily. Desmond guffawed and patted Jane on the shoulder.
"No, Jane. And enough with the 'sir'. I just thought you would take me up on that jam session you promised me a while back. Sound good?" He smirked at the obvious relief on Jane's body as her shoulders sagged.
"Sounds amazing." Jane said and Desmond motioned her to sit at the piano as he picked up a beautiful acoustic guitar.
"Do you play anything other than the piano, Jane?" He queried as he tuned the guitar to his liking. Tuning by ear, a skill many musicians covet.
"I do happen to play a little guitar, I sing a little as well. And of course my love the piano." She stated as her fingers ghosted the piano keys and she took a deep breath.
"It is a lovely instrument. So, a triple threat, huh? Why don't you play a melody and I'll play to your lead, okay?" He said as he strummed the keys and nodded in approval. Jane agreed and let her fingers do the work for her.
Jane breathed in and out and soon all her nerves washed away. she started out with a soft ambient melody, she could hear the strings from Mr. Isles guitar and she smiled to herself in approval, he picked up on the mood she was emitting immediately. It was smooth, emotional, searching. And she had one thing, or rather person, in mind. Maura. Which wasn't surprising. She was thinking about how she felt about Maura, she was thinking about how people treated Maura in the past simply because of her intelligence and because she was different. She was thinking about how she felt. Her fingers played a smooth transition into a soft melody and she started singly softly.
She gave it all, you gave her shit
She coulda done, just anything
Or anyone, cause she's a goddess
You never got this
Jane hit the keys a little stronger, with a little more emotion, with a little more of something to say. She had something she wanted to convey and she was going to get it out if it reduced her to ashes. If that's what it took, she would do it a hundred times over. There was something about having a burning desire to make your emotions into art. It was what artists lived on, that burning desire, that need to make something out of nothing.
You put her down, you liked her hopeless
To walk around, feeling unnoticed
You shoulda crowned her, cause she's a goddess
You never got this
Jane noticed faintly the guitar fade away, but that didn't stop her. She was still searching for that relief. That weight off of her shoulders, the disdain she felt for everyone who ever made her and people like feel hopeless and unnoticed. She was angry and she was tired of being angry. Even if no one heard her, the sound she produced would but any unease to rest. The sound could afford her some peace. That was the thing about some musicians. Sometimes you don't find the peace while you're playing, sometimes it only comes when you're all done. When you hit that last key it's as if the entire world melts away and then fills itself back up in a way that makes complete sense. It was food to their soul and music to the listeners ears.
Now you gotta deal with this glitch on your shoulder
Fucking with a goddess and you get a little colder
Yea it's colder, colder
Fucking with a goddess, and you get a little colder
Finally surfaced above doubts
Feeling above this, she came around
Cause she's a goddess, finally saw this
And now you're back, trying to claim her
Cause she's gone and now without her
You're all alone, cause she's a goddess
You shoulda saw this
There it was. The relief. The relief that she felt after she hit the last key, the relief she felt when she felt that she said what she needed to say. Jane knew that Maura was amazing, she knew that her friends were amazing, and she was beginning to feel like she was amazing to. And people should notice, people should have noticed. They didn't, and now Jane knows it's their loss. The feeling of weightlessness she felt almost brought her to tears. She brought her hands down from the piano and pulled off her black frames to wipe at a few threatening tears and let out a satisfied sigh.
She's a goddess. Maura. She's amazing.
And you got it. Even if nobody else gets it, you do. And that's worth something. Those other people, they're not deserving.
"Well, I'll be damned." Desmond said in awe as he put his guitar down and went to sit down next to Jane on the bench, "You only sing a little, is that right? So modest. You've go something good, Jane. You've got something really good." He finished and Jane gave a slight watery smile.
"Thank you." She choked out, still overwhelmed by what she was feeling.
"And I'm glad you notice it too." Desmond stated as he moved from the bench and gave Jane's shoulder a squeeze. Jane looked back at him with confusion painting her features.
"Notice what?" Jane asked, although she had a clue that he knew precisely what she was aiming for when she sang the song, that he knew who she was talking about.
"Maura. She's an amazing girl isn't she? You're good for each other." He paused while smiling softly at Jane who gladly returned it. "And please, do us all a favor and do something with that sound of yours, Jane. You're very talented and the world could use that. Don't let it go to waste." He concluded and left the room and headed up the stairs, leaving Jane in the music room by herself. Jane leet the entire situation stir inside of her. It seems like everyone has been trying to tell her something she should already know. Or rather get her to accept something she already knows.
Moments later Jane heard soft footsteps enter the room and felt arms wrap around her. Jane leaned back into the embrace and sighed contently. She was at peace.
"What did my Father want? He didn't interrogate you or anything did he?" Maura asked with a slight jest in her tone. Jane laughed quietly as she gently grabbed Maura's palm and placed a soft kiss there.
"Nah, he just wanted to get a little something out of me I think."
"Oh? And did he succeed?" Jane thought this over and nodded gently. She stood up, wrapping her arm around Maura's waist and they walked out of the music room.
"Yeah, I think he did."
Song: Goddess by Banks. I really love the song. Give it a listen.