Chapter 10: Another Link in the Chain
Jack lay wide awake in the still dark room. Through the large window across from him, he could see the moon, large and silver, shining down and blanketing everything with its soft light.
Jack shifted on the stack of blankets beneath him and looked over his shoulder at the man snuggled up behind him. In the moonlight, Jack could see Ennis face clearly. Relaxed in sleep, the harsh lines of worry and work were erased, and Jack could clearly see the 19 year old boy that he had first fallen in love with in that face. Ennis had his arm slung around Jack's waist, and as he slept, a tiny smile flittered across his lips.
Gently, trying hard not to wake him, Jack turned under Ennis' arm until he was lying on his side facing him. Slowly, he brought his fingers up and brushed them gently across Ennis' lips, grinning when he felt them twitch slightly under his touch.
"Don' seem real…" he whispered, as he brushed his knuckles gently across Ennis cheek and smoothed the wrinkles at the corner of his eye with his thumb.
Ennis twitched at his touch and opened his eyes. Brown eyes staring into blue, the smile that was only a trace widened, and Ennis whispered in a sleep laden voice, "Hey, there".
He tightened the arm around Jack's waist, drawing him closer and kissing him lightly on the forehead.
"Hey," Jack replied, his voice low.
"Can't sleep?" Ennis asked, and shifted onto his back, drawing Jack along with him until Jack's head was lying on his chest.
Jack turned so that he could see Ennis' face and replied, "Can… don' wanna."
"Got a long day tomorrow… gonna be beat ya don' get some rest, Bud." Ennis said, and yawned big and loud.
"I'll be fine… rather lay here and look at ya," Jack said, not a hint of teasing or innuendo in his voice.
Even in the silvery moonlight, Jack could see Ennis' blush and small pleased smile and smiled himself at the thought of Ennis liking that Jack wanted to look at him.
"Not like ya can't look at me whenever, Jack." Ennis said, shifting again and obviously trying to get comfortable on the pile of blankets they were using for a bed. "Damn floor's hard as'a rock!" He muttered as he shifted again, then brought his arms up to encircle Jack.
"I know…" Jack replied, "but I still quite believe this is real! I keep on waitin' to wake up… afraid to sleep… afraid I'll wake up and it'll all be a dream."
Ennis stilled, and looked at Jack. His eyes, deep brown, almost black in the moonlight, filled with a look that Jack had rarely seen from him.
"Come're," he whispered, and tugged lightly at Jack with his arms. Jack willingly let himself be moved up until his face hovered over Ennis'.
"Jack," Ennis said, his voice low and serious, his brown eyes searching Jack's, "this ain't no dream… know that's what yer thinkin' can see it in yer eyes."
"Ennis…" Jack started, wanting to tell him how happy he was to be there with him, but Ennis moved his hand up, and placed a finger on his lips, stopping the words from coming.
"Shhh… quiet darlin'," Ennis whispered, and brought their lips together in a long slow kiss that went on and on and spiraled Jack deeper and deeper into the well of tingly excitement he felt whenever Ennis touched him.
When Ennis pulled away some time later, he said in a low husky voice, "still think yer dreaming?"
"More'en ever," Jack said, taking a deep breath, and leaning back in fer another kiss.
"What I gotta do to prove it ain't a dream?" Ennis said his voice affectionate and amused.
"Jus' be here in the mornin'…" Jack said, his once again serious as he placed a kiss on Ennis chest.
"Well hell, Jack… if I'da know'd that was all I had'a do, I wouldn'a bothered with the kissin'."
Jack jerked his head up at that, and was met with a pair of twinkling brown eyes and a little Ennis smile.
Jack tried to scowl, but couldn't pull it off and ended up laughing instead.
After a few minutes of laughter, Ennis ran his hand through Jack's hair and said, "Hey, Jack, think ma'be I can get some sleep now?"
"Ok, cowboy… let's get some rest." Jack said, leaning in for another quick kiss and then rolling on his side again so Ennis could scoot up and snuggle up against him again.
As he was drifting off, he heard Ennis say in a low, quiet voice that barely reached his ears, "how come you don' call me babe when yer awake?"
"What?" Jack said, surprised, and turned back quickly to look at Ennis who had his head buried in the blanket they were using for a pillow. "Oh God… what did I say in my sleep… fuck…!"
Ennis' voice was muffled as he said, "Yesterday… while ya was sleepin' in the truck, I tried ta wake ya up and ya…" Ennis stopped, and cleared his throat.
Jack waited patiently for him to finish, "well… ya called me, Babe… said my name and 'sorry babe'.
"I did?" Jack asked, he felt heat flood his face and he shifted uncomfortably.
"Shit, Twist… even yer dreaming mind oughta know by now that Ennis don' like no mushy shit!"
"I'm sorry, Ennis," Jack stuttered, "I was asleep… I didn' know…"
"I kinda liked it…" Ennis said, again so low and muffled that Jack could barely tell he had spoken at first.
"I swear… I … wait… you did?" Jack voice had become incredulous.
Ennis nodded a bit, still not looking at Jack.
Jack sat in stunned silence for a moment, and then he smiled. Reaching out a hand, he stroked the back of Ennis neck, and pulled lightly at the blond hair that rested there.
"Careful now, don't wanna spook 'em… know how hard thin's like this are for him…"
"Ok, Cowboy," he whispered and tangled his fingers up in Ennis' hair so he could stroke the sensitive spot at the base of his skull that turned all his muscles to putty.
Ennis heaved a sigh as Jack's fingers ran through his hair and touched that spot that felt so good. Only Jack knew that spot… was the one that discovered what it did to Ennis, who hadn't even known himself till Jack found it. Sighing again, he turned to shyly meet those blue eyes and reached his arms out to Jack, who settled back down, scooting his back up flush against Ennis' front.
"Nite, Jack," Ennis whispered, and pressed his lips to the back of Jack's neck.
Jack smiled, in the silvery moonlight and whispered, "Nite, Babe."
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"Damn Jack, I don' know nothin' bout this shit." Ennis griped out of the corner of his mouth. Looking quickly at Jack, he saw from his face that he was just as lost on this one.
"An' I suppose ya think I do…" Jack thought as he turned to Ennis and said in a low voice, "I don't know nothin' bout it neither. When Lureen and I mov'd inta our house the place was alre'dy full… her mother did it all fer us."
"Well we gotta do somethin' Jack… I can't sleep on the floor again tonig't!" The look on Ennis' face was pained as he thought about the night before and how stiff his back had been that morning. "Yer getting old, Del Mar!" he thought with a bit of a scowl.
It had felt very strange at first being inside a house with Jack. For so long the only time he had spent with Jack had been either outdoors, or in a tent. It had taken Ennis a little time and a bit of convincing from Jack, for him to relax. "But damn does that man how to convince a person…" Ennis felt his face heating up with this thought.
"Ennis… Ennis!" Jack was hissing at him, and Ennis felt him grab his arm… "what the fuck..?" "Dammit, Ennis, are ya listenin'?"
Ennis shook himself, and looked at Jack, "Yeah, I'm listening… what were ya sayin'?
Jack rolled his eyes, "I said… we need to do somethin'. We're attractin' attention standin' here in the doorway like this!"
Ennis glanced around, and flushed quickly when he saw several pairs of eyes trained on them. Nodding, he began walking down the closest aisle, looking at the living room sets lined up on either side.
Mr. Roth had recommended 'The Blue Ridge Logworks' as being the best furniture store in Fort Collins. All of the furniture was made of solid wood framing and the styles offered were rustic yet comfortable. As he wandered down the aisle, Ennis looked at the different living room furniture and tried to remember if he and Alma had ever bought furniture together.
Thinking back on it, Ennis recalled that most of the furniture he and Alma had was hand-me downs from their families. They hadn't been able to afford new stuff.
"Can afford it now though," Ennis thought, reflecting on the little blue bank book in Jack's pocket.
Ennis wasn't quite sure how he felt about that money. Part of him wanted to insist that Jack remove his name from the account. It didn't quite feel right having it there. At the same time though, he recalled how angry Jack had become when he had tried to argue about it the day before. He couldn't fully understand Jack's feelings about the money, but he understood enough to realize that it was important to Jack that everything be 'theirs'.
"Think 'bout it Del Mar… ya ain't stupid… he wants everythin' to be 'ours' 'cause he still don' quite believe this is happenin', and he needs the names together on that book so's he can look at it and have proof." Looking at it that way, Ennis decided that it was harmless to have his name there. If it made Jack feel better and more secure about things, who could it hurt.
He reached the end of the aisle and turned to head down the next when suddenly he spotted a sofa and chair that he liked the looks of. With a sturdy oak frame about the same shade and grain as the walls and floors, the set consisted of a full size sofa, loveseat, and two chairs. The upholstery was a brown, very similar in color to the wood, with blue stripes. Looking around at the other things around it, so he could remember where it was located, he set off through the store looking for Jack.
He found him two aisles over looking at dining room tables. Walking up behind him, he laid his hand on Jack's shoulder and squeezed.
"Hey there, find anything' ya like?" He asked, glancing at the table that Jack had been inspecting.
"Oh, hey, Ennis, yeah… I was actually thinking that I like this one." Jack pointed to a square wooden table. It too was made out of seemingly the same wood as the house's interior. Ennis smiled and nodded. "Folks 'round here sure seem ta like oak."
"Looks good to me, think I may've found us somethin' fer the living room too."
Ennis took Jack over and showed him the set, and Jack agreed with Ennis that it was what they were looking for, and they commented to each other that this was easier then they thought it would be.
The continued wandering around that store, picking out things for the different rooms. Finally, they came to the bedroom furniture section.
Eyes twinkling, Jack said, "Ah… the most impor'ant thing… a bed!" he wiggled his eyebrows at Ennis, and began walking around amongst the different beds. Ennis flushed and walked in another direction. Turning back only when he heard Jack saying, "Ennis… over here!"
Walking over to Jack, Ennis stood looking at the big brass bed. It was huge… Ennis didn't ever remember seeing a bed that big anywhere. Jack picked up a little tag from a holder on the bed and read off of it, "Says here, its a Cal-King, damn site bigger then that twin bed, eh? Ennis scowled at him, and grabbed the paper to look for himself. He whistled quietly when he saw the price, "Damn, Jack…!"
"I know…" Jack said, but then he got a determined look on his face and said, "but I like it! An' way I fig're it, you and me have spent 'nough time sleeping uncomfor'able… all them years sleeping on the ground. We've earned the right to have this bed…"
His voice sounded firm, but his eyes told Ennis that he was waiting for Ennis to approve.
"If that's whatcha think, Bud… it's yer…" Ennis paused. He had been about the say 'it's yer money' but stopped himself and said, "decision", instead.
Jack walked away quickly, saying something about finding a clerk. Once he was gone, Ennis went over and sat on the bed. It felt comfortable. Feeling a little daring, Ennis bounced a bit, and was rewarded with no sound. Every bed that Ennis Del Mar had ever slept in had creaked and groaned with every little twitch from its occupants. Smiling, Ennis bounced again, and in a fit of recklessness, he flopped backward, his feet flat on the floor. "Damn site more comfertable that that dang floor…" he thought, and closed his eyes.
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After a fairly long search, Jack found a clerk who said she would come help them as soon as she could, and then headed back toward the beds. When he rounded the corner of the aisle, he saw Ennis lying on the bed, his bottom half draped over the side. His eyes were closed, and it looked to Jack like he might be asleep.
Looking back to see if the clerk was heading that way yet, Jack walked forward and bent over Ennis' prone body. Bringing his face close to Ennis' he said in a low voice, "Hey, cowboy… time to wake up."
Ennis opened his eyes, and saw Jack leaning over him, his faces inches from his. "Jack…" he said, his voice husky and sleepy. Before Jack knew what was happening, Ennis had wrapped his arm around his neck and pulled his lips to his.
Jack pulled back quickly and stood up. "Easy there, Cowboy… hold that thought till later, huh?" he said, his eyes shining.
Ennis blinked, confused. Jack had never pulled away from him like that. Suddenly, his eyes came into focus and he remembered where he was. Sitting bolt upright, his face flaming, he glared at Jack, and slammed his hat back on his hat. He wasn't sure who he was madder at, himself for never being able to resist Jack, or Jack for having such a damn kissable mouth. "Admit it Del Mar… you're most angry 'bout the fact that ya had ta stop kissing him!" .
"Christ, Jack… what the hell're ya thinkin'?" He ground out, his embarrassment only making him grouchier.
"Same thin' as you, I'd say…" Jack grinned and looked pointedly at Ennis, a knowing look in his eyes. Ennis lowered his head and blushed, muttering and mumbling as he straightened his clothes.
At that, moment, the clerk walked down the aisle toward them.
"Look as these two… damn… and will ya look at the eyes on that one… always been a sucker fer blue eyes…"
Ennis scowled at this, and unconsciously stepped a bit closer to Jack. The clerk walked up to them, and stood looking at Jack for a moment. Ennis felt himself tensing up at her obvious behavior.
"Mr. Twist," she said her voice somewhat husky, "which bed is it you were talking about?
Jack grinned, glanced at her nametag, and pointed to the bed that Ennis had just been lying on, "Please call me Jack, lil' lady, and it's this one over here. Mandy is it?"
Ennis' eyes narrowed, and he ground his teeth "Lil' shit is flirtin' with her." He stood back, arms crossed in front of him and watched as Jack and Mandy talked. The girl was laying it on thick, batting her eyelashes and practically climbing Jack like a tree. Although Jack managed to keep her at arms distance, he continued flirting right back.
After they had finished with the bed, Jack led the way over to the other items they had been looking at, and very soon… though not nearly soon enough for Ennis… they were at the register paying for the things they had decided on, and arranging for them to be delivered later that day.
"Here's yer receipt, Mr. Twist… Jack…" Mandy said her voice soft and seductive. Jack grinned and beamed his eyes at her, and Ennis couldn't contain the almost silent growl that escaped his throat.
"Thank ya kindly, ma'am, me and Ennis here are new to these parts, but I'm sur' we'll see each other around."
"I'll look forward to that," Mandy purred and lowered her eyes coyly.
That was enough for Ennis, without saying a single word; he turned and stomped out of the store. Walking over to the truck, he kicked at the tire sending a bolt of pain up his leg. "Shit!" he said harshly, his voice breaking a bit, and then he whipped the door open, climbed behind the wheel, and slammed the door shut.
Furiously, he wiped his brow with his sleeve, and sat staring stonily out the windshield. When Jack finally came out and climbed into the truck, he was still sitting there, still as stone, jaw clenched so tight his teeth were beginning to ache.
Jack looked at him for a moment, but said nothing, "What did I do now…?" He thought, completely confused.
Ennis emitted another growl, this one much louder and raw sounding. Then, still without a word, he started the truck and pulled out of the lot a bit faster the necessary, the tires whining a bit on the asphalt.
Neither said anything on the ride home. Ennis was too angry to say anything that was not a cuss word, and Jack was too confused, and wary of Ennis' demeanor to say anything.
When they pulled into the driveway, Ennis pulled the truck into the garage, and got out, slamming the door. He walked calmly over to the pegboard on the wall and hung the truck keys up. Then, without saying anything, he stomped out of the garage and headed for the barn.
Totally bewildered, Jack stepped out of the garage, and stood watching as Ennis led his horse out of the barn, climbed on its back and rode away.
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The van with their new furniture in it arrived at 4:00. Jack looked around and saw no sign of Ennis. Sighing, he went out to the yard, and enlisted the help of the drivers to take the stuff inside. Once everything was in place, Jack gave each of the men a $20 tip and thanked them for their help.
Sweaty from lugging furniture, Jack massaged a little stitch in his back and went to the kitchen for a beer. While he had the door open, he peered in to see what they had on hand for supper prospects. "Hmm… not a heck of'a lot in here… have to go shoppin' in the mornin'… maybe Ennis would like to go out… that is if he's speaking to me again!"
Sighing again, Jack swung the refrigerator door shut, and taking his beer with him stepped out the door on to the western side of the porch. At the furthest end, sat a porch swing. It had been in the barn, along with a lot of other old junk, and Ennis had moved it here to the porch when cleaning out stalls for the horses.
Jack eyed it suspiciously, and then decided to sit on the steps instead. While he sat there, thinking about Ennis' behavior and wondering what could have caused him to get so mad, the sun went down, and the shadows in the yard became longer and wider, until the light was completely covered. Jack was so deep in thought, that he didn't realize how late it was until the spotlight on the front of the garage clicked on. The light was on a timer, and was set to turn on at 8:00 each night. Blinking at the light, Jack became worried.
"Where in the hell is he?" Jack thought, his stomach beginning to jump around as he remembered another night that long ago summer on Brokeback, when he sat in the dark worrying and waiting on Ennis.
Jack had ridden into camp late in the day. He was hungry as he ever remembered being, and tired to his very bones. When he rounded the last tree and rode into the clearing, he was not completely surprised to find Ennis not there. More then once Jack had come into camp and found that Ennis was down at the creek getting water.
Hitching his horse to a tree, he walked over and looked at the fire pit to see what was for supper. Nothing… there was nothing cooking at all, not even any coffee in the pot. "Where the fuck is that man…" Jack thought, and his stomach gave a loud grumble.
He sat by the fire for a while, sipping whiskey from the half full bottle they had left, and watching it get dark. Finally, when his stomach would not stop its incessant rumbling, Jack had given in and opened a can of beans. "Beans… yuck… hate these fuckin' thin's… always did!"
Deciding that heating them wouldn't really help the taste much, he proceeded to eat them cold. Only after he finished the can, and threw it into the fire, did he take a good look around and realize how dark it was. "Shit… where the hell is he… he ought've been back by now."
Not sure what to do, and becoming more scared every minute that something had happened to Ennis, Jack sat and fretted. Twice he got up and started for his horse, thinking he would ride out and try to find him, but both times common sense told him it was dark, and even if he was out there somewhere, hurt or dying, Jack would never be able to find him. "Could ride right past 'em and not even know!"
Finally, when Jack was almost in tears with worry, and just when he was thinking "Fuck it… can't sit here waitin' no more… gotta go look…". He heard horse's hooves approaching the clearing. Seconds later, Ennis had ridden into camp, and Jack had felt the most profound wave of relief wash over him that for a moment he almost ran to Ennis and hugged him. Restraining himself, Jack found himself bitching at Ennis so he wouldn't know how worried he had been.
As soon as Ennis had stepped into the firelight and he saw the cut on his head, Jack's stomach had dropped and all his concern came flying back, and the only words he could choke out were, "What in the hell happen'd Ennis?"
Without even thinking about it at all, he had whipped off his bandanna and wet it. Tentatively, he held it up to Ennis head. When his fingers made contact with Ennis skin, they had begun to tingle. Angrily, Jack had pushed the feeling aside, and felt both profound relief and disappointment when Ennis grabbed the rag from him, removing the need for him to continue touching him.
"See," he shrugged off the memory and told himself aloud, his voice in the quiet making him jump but oddly reassuring him at the same time, "Ennis… he does these things… nothin' to fret about, Jack. Any minute now he'll come riding up and everythin' will be just fine."
As though this thought had conjured him out of the air, Ennis suddenly appeared from around the barn. He was leading the horse and didn't even look toward the house, just continued on into the barn.
Jack continued to sit on the step, thinking that Ennis would come out of the barn and they would go into the house. He would find out what had made Ennis so angry, and make it better, and then they would maybe go break in that nice new bed.
He sat and sat, and still Ennis didn't come back out of the barn. Finally, at the end of his patience and fed up with Ennis' constant moodiness, Jack placed his beer bottle on the railing, stood up and whispered, "Fuck you too, Del Mar…" then he turned and walked quietly into the house, his shoulders slumped in defeat.
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Ennis had spent the entire evening riding along the fence line of the property. His mind was in a turmoil but even more so, his chest was tight and breathing hurt.
"Jack Fuckin' Twist…"
The problem was, that Ennis knew he was being stupid, had known Jack long enough and well enough to know that Jack had no interest in that little store clerk. That wasn't what bothered him. What was getting to him… eating him up inside and making his heart ache… was the fact that Jack had used that smile… that smile that Ennis thought of as his, a smile just for Ennis… on that clerk. Ennis cringed inwardly when he imagined who else Jack might have been flashing that smile at over the years, and felt sick to his stomach at the thought.
Finally, when all the light was gone from the sky, and Ennis was starting to feel the exhaustion from barely sleeping the night before seeping through his body, he made his way back to the ranch. Dismounting, he opened the pasture gate, and led the mare across the open yard and into the barn.
He took his time brushing down the mare, giving both horses fresh hay, and making sure they had plenty of water.
Finally, when he could find nothing else in the barn to do, he stepped out into the yard and bolted the barn door behind him. Walking slowly across the yard, he spotted the truck sitting there in the yard, and veered in that direction rather then toward the house.
Digging around behind the passenger seat, he brought out a bag. In the bag were two bottles of whiskey that he and Jack had picked up in town.
Taking the bag into the house, Ennis blinked against the darkness as he stepped inside. The house was completely dark, except for a sliver of light coming from under the door of the master bedroom.
"Jack musta gone to bed already… what time is it?"
Steppin' into the kitchen he looked at the stove to see the little digital clock. He whistled low. "10:30," he thought, "no wonder I'm tired… ain't more'en 6 hours in the last 4 days."
Stepping back into the living room, Ennis noticed that the furniture had arrived and was all arranged in the living room. Snapping on the lights, Ennis sucked in his breath when he spotted a coffee table in front of the sofa. He had admired that coffee table greatly, liking the flow of the wood grain and the smooth polished surface. Jack had obviously noticed him admiring the table and had added it to their purchases as a surprise for him.
"Aw fuck, Jack!" he mumbled as he walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa. Taking a bottle from the bag, he cracked the seal and took a long hard pull on the bottle.
Looking at the coffee table, Ennis felt like a king-size jerk for acting the way he did. He thought about going upstairs and taking Jack in his arms, saying he was sorry and making up to him for taking off and leaving him all alone to lug the new furniture in by himself.
Then the image of Jack, smiling his 'Ennis' smile at that little clerk and who knows who all else, and he thought, "Fuck it!". Taking another long drink of whiskey, he closed his eyes and tried not to see Jack's blue eyes staring at him as he rode away from him.
When Jack woke up, it was still very dark. Instinctively, he reached his hand out, searching for Ennis' comforting warmth, odd how that habit had stuck with him for over 20 years ever since Brokeback.. His hand searched about for a minute, and then he opened his eyes and looked… nothing… nothing there but cold empty bed.
Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock beside the bed, 3 am. Sighing, Jack got out of bed. He groaned a bit as he stretched. The stitch in his back was still there, only a bit worse. Barefooted, he walked out onto the landing, and looked over the railing.
Ennis was sprawled out on the new couch. He had lit a fire in the fireplace, and although it was burning low, it still gave off enough light for Jack to see that Ennis was asleep, a half-full bottle of whiskey in danger of falling out of his hand.
Padding down the stairs, Jack walked quietly over to the couch. Gently, and finding no resistance, Jack removed the bottle from Ennis' hand and placed it on the coffee table… the one that Ennis had liked so much that Jack had bought it for him as a surprise.
Kneeling down on the floor in front of the couch, he studied Ennis' face. In sleep, his face was relaxed and peaceful. Reaching out his hand, he brushed a wisp of blonde hair from his forehead.
"What's botherin' ya, cowboy… sure do wish ya would talk to me 'bout thin's 'stead of ridin' away from me… seems we've both done 'enough a that ov'r the years." He whispered as he continued to stroke Ennis' hair.
Ennis twitched in his sleep, and moaned. Unable to resist, Jack leaned forward and gently brushed his lips over Ennis'. No pressure, just a fluttery little kiss. Ennis twitched again, and clear as day said his name, "Jack!", and moaned again, this time a bit louder, and Jack could hear the longing in both his voice and that moan.
Jack brushed his lips across Ennis' again, and said in a low voice, "Wake up, Cowboy."
Another moan, and then Ennis' eyes snapped open and looked into Jack's.
"Jack?" he said, blurry and slurred, but somethin' in his voice told Jack that he was glad to see him.
"Whatcha doin' down here on the couch, Ennis?" Jack asked, his voice low and a bit hurt.
"Was mad at ya." Ennis replied, pushing Jack back a bit and sitting up on the couch. He rubbed his eyes with his palms, and then kept his face buried in them.
Jack stood up, and sat next to Ennis on the couch, keeping his distance. "I know Ennis… but I can't say I know why." Jack's voice was still low, confusion replacing the hurt.
His face still covered by his hands, Ennis' voice came out muffled, "ya was flirting with that clerk."
"What?" Jack asked, his voice breaking a bit, "What clerk… oh shit!"
"I'll be dammed… Ennis Del Mar is jealous!"
Ennis made a low moaning sound, and abruptly stood up from the couch. Spinning around and stumbling a bit, his eyes flashing and shiny with tears Ennis said, "I didn' like it Jack… not one bit… hurt like hell ta see ya smilin' at her like that… tha way you smile at me… smiling that smile for jus' me at her… me standin' right there… was like ya was rubbin' my face in tha fact she want'd ya…! Made me wonder who else ya been givin' my smile away ta…ah… fuck it… whatdo I care... do what ya want!"
Taking a lurching step forward, Ennis started for the door, but Jack was completely sober and not nearly as exhausted so he moved faster. Going around the couch, he stepped in front of Ennis before he could take more then a few shuffling steps. Putting out his hands, he placed them on Ennis' shoulders, stopping his forward motion easily.
"Ennis…" He said, his voice low and loving.
"What?" Ennis snapped, his voice clearer, but still foggy.
"Look at me…" Jack replied, and used his fingers to bring Ennis' face up, Ennis resisted, but Jack was relentless and Ennis finally gave in. Looking into Ennis eyes Jack said quietly, "Doncha know nothin', Ennis Del Mar? Sure, I smiled at that lil' gal cause I didn' want to hurt her feelin's, but there ain't but one person I wanna be with."
Jack wiped a stray tear from Ennis' face, and caressed his cheek with his thumb before leaning in toward him and whispering, "you are the most stubborn man I ever met, and ya make me so mad sometim's I could choke ya… but god help me, I love ya… and there ain't no man or woman on earth that kin change that!" Smiling, he placed his hand on the back of Ennis' head and gently pulled his head to his shoulder. They stood in the firelight for several moments, Jack holding Ennis tightly to him, Ennis resting his head on Jack's shoulder, letting Jack comfort him.
After several moments, Jack pulled away. "So, cowboy, whatda ya say? Wanna come up and join me. That bed is awful big and lonesome all by myself?"
Ennis simply nodded, and followed Jack up the stairs. Once in the room, Ennis flopped on his back on the bed, fully clothed.
Shaking his head, Jack walked over and began unbuttoning his shirt, "I swear, Ennis… sometim's I don' know what I'm gonna…wha'… ooof…!"
Suddenly, Ennis reached out and grabbed Jack, pulling him down on top of him, and claiming his mouth in a burning kiss. Wrapping his arms around Jack, Ennis rolled them both over so that Jack was pinned beneath him on the bed. Lips still sealed with Jack's, Ennis began running his hands over Jack's arms and chest, his touch was rough and unrelenting, and Jack could feel desire welling up inside him from the intensity of it.
Jack closed his eyes and reveled in Ennis' passion… his mouth burned a path across Jack's jaw and neck… his hips and legs molded to Jack's so closely they were almost one…. hands, rough and calloused from many years of ranch work, ran across Jack's skin, leaving a trail of tingling possession.
Suddenly, in the middle of a long bruising kiss, Ennis placed his arms on either side of Jack's head and pushed, rearing up on his elbows so his face hovered inches above Jack's. Bringing his hands to Jack's face, he ran his thumbs across Jack's eyebrows and smiled at the shiver that ran the length of Jack's body at the touch.
His voice and stormy brown eyes full of so many emotions that Jack could never begin to name them, Ennis growled, his voice raw, "You're mine, Jack Twist…". As though to make sure his point was made, Ennis ground his hips against Jack's, causing him to moan and buck against him to return the pressure. Kissing Jack's throat roughly, running a hand down his arm and then up to tangle his fingers in Jack's hair, tugging slightly, he continued, his lips pressed to the soft skin below Jack's ear, "Ain' noone ever gonna touch you like this 'cept me…".
Bringing his lips back to Jack's he kissed him lightly, barely pressing against Jack's swollen lips, and thrusting his tongue into his mouth and withdrawing it quickly, bringing forth another moan from Jack as Ennis pulled back and Jack strained upward trying to hold his lips to his. His lips pressed to Jack's cheek, Ennis whispered, "ain't noone never gonna kiss ya like that but me".
Then looking into Jack's eyes again, he said in a very different voice… one full of love and yearning "Ain't noone nev'r gonna love ya like I do, Jack… you're mine… an don'cha nev'r ferget it!"
Jack felt heat and happiness spread to every part of his being at these words… words that he had longed to hear for so long, perhaps more sweet for the waiting.
"Took ya long enough to figur' it out…!"
Jack brought his hands up and placed them on Ennis' face, rubbing his thumbs gently across his cheeks, and burying his fingers in his thick blonde curls. Looking into Ennis' eyes, Jack whispered, "That's right, Ennis Del Mar… I'm all yers… every single part'a me… I ain't want'd noone 'cept you since I first laid eyes on ya…I love ya more then anythin' and I ain't never gonna want or need noone else… and don'tcha never forget it!"
Gently pressing on the back of Ennis head, he brought their lips together.
Ennis' closed his eyes for a moment as though it hurt to keep them open, and then he wretched his lips away from Jack's. Keeping his eyes closed he took a deep breath and said in a tight voice, "Jack… I wanna… I…" his voice cutting off abruptly when Jack brought his hands down, running them across his shoulders and slowly down to the top of his jeans. Looping his fingers through Ennis' belt, he tugged lightly, causing a low keening, sound to escape Ennis' partially open lips.
"Wanna what, Cowboy?" Jack asked running his hands up under Ennis' shirt and massaging little circles on his back with his finger tips. Ennis shuddered at the touch, and his hips shifted forward slightly, sending a bolt of heat through Jack's already singing blood.
"Jack…," Ennis was gasping now, his eyes still closed tightly and his fingers flexing involuntarily on Jack's arms, "I wanna…" again he stopped and shifted down slightly, bringing his lips down and kissing Jack's chest and moving lower to his stomach.
Jack swallowed hard as comprehension dawned on him. Squeezing his eyes shut, he groaned loudly and felt his body tightening in anticipation. This was something that they had talked about before, that Jack had done many times because he knew how crazy it made Ennis, but it was something that Ennis had never… in the 20 years they had been making love, and doing all they could to please each other… been able to bring himself to do.
Opening his eyes, Jack looked down at Ennis whose mouth was kissing a burning path across Jack's stomach. "Ennis…" he said, his voice straining with the effort. Ennis raised his eyes and looked at Jack, his lips still on Jack's stomach, continuing to kiss a circle across the muscles that twitched and heaved there, "you sure…?" Jack asked, hoping against hope that the answer would be yes, but wanting to give Ennis a chance to change his mind.
Ennis nodded, and continued kissing down Jack's stomach until he reached the waistband of the boxers that Jack had worn to bed. Jack, his eyes shut tight, felt the bed move and then felt the cool air touching his skin as Ennis slowly and carefully slid them down his hips and legs and pulled them over his feet, tossing them in a corner.
Clenched tight as a drum, Jack, his breath coming in hitches, waited to feel Ennis hands on his skin. When what felt like hours passed and Jack felt nothing, he opened his eyes and looked up to see Ennis standing next to the bed just looking at him.
Feeling uncomfortable under Ennis' burning gaze, Jack shifted slightly on the bed, and said, "Ennis… somethin' wrong…?"
Ennis' voice was full of awe and naked hunger when he said, "Not nomore."
Reaching out a hand, Ennis ran the tips of his fingers gently across Jack's stomach, and Jack moaned loudly and rolled his face into the pillow to stifle the sound.
"No…" Ennis said, and gently turned his head from the pillow, "don't…I wanna hear you…"
Jack looked at Ennis, blue eyes glazed and pleading, and reached a hand out to him. Ennis took Jack's hand and pressed a kiss into his palm. Jack closed his eyes and felt Ennis hands and mouth on his skin. Moaning loudly again, and hearing Ennis whisper, "I love you, Jack" then feeling Ennis' hot breath on his stomach and moving lower, Jack balled his hands up in the sheets and surrendered to the sensations that spiraled thorough his body.
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Much later, Jack lay wrapped in Ennis' arms, his head resting on his shoulder as they watched the sky lighten outside the windows. Occasionally, Ennis nuzzled Jack's hair and placed little kisses behind his ear.
They were talking about the ranch and the changes and improvements they wanted to make.
Suddenly, during a brief lull in the conversation Jack, completely out of the blue, turned a bit in Ennis arms so he could see his face and said, "Ennis… what did you mean when you said 'not nomore'?"
Ennis looked startled by the question, and his face began to redden a bit. "Well…" he began and cleared his throat, "all I meant was there weren't nothing wrong no more…"
"There was somethin' wrong?" Jack asked, confused.
"The only thin' wrong was that I was too stupid ta know how much I need ya with me all the time…" Ennis said, tightening his arms around him and burying his face in Jack's neck, nuzzling the sensitive skin under his jaw.
Jack smiled, and closed his eyes, tilting his head to give Ennis easier access, he whispered, "glad ya finally figur'd it out, Cowboy."
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