Authors' Note: Hello my awesome readers! I'm so happy that you guys are enjoying this little story so far. I sincerely hope you continue to give me your amazing words of encouragement. I appreciate and love you all. This chapter is just a fill-in, but there's LOTS more to come. Remember to read carefully, you never know what important information you're missing. Anyways, read and enjoy!
Story Title: Far From Gone
Written By: ButterflyCryx
Chapter Ten: Baby Steps
It was 7:30 am and the sun began to peak through the light blue curtains that hung in Amy's hospital room. The doctors convinced her to stay the night and she honestly didn't care. As long as she got to stay on the same floor as her daughter, she made no protests to leave. She stretched a bit then opened her eyes. Once she realized that she wasn't alone, she sat up and gave her visitor a small smile.
"Good morning Ms. Duncan, how are you feeling?" Dr. Vitalli asked, a clipboard in one hand and a plastic cup in the other.
"Relaxed. Is my daughter up?"
The woman gave her a look then handed her the cup that revealed two small pills. Amy swallowed them both then took a sip of water afterwards.
"Yes she is-"
"Can I see her?"
Dr. Vitalli remained unresponsive for a few seconds, then finally decided to answer.
"We had some... difficulties last night. Your daughter had several nightmares. Me and my medical team tried to calm her but, she lost control. We had to put her in restraints." Dr. Vitalli didn't want to mention any of the alarming things Teddy had said or done. It wasn't her business nor her life, so she decided to be respectful and stay shut.
Amy's eyes widened and her mouth opened. She immediately closed it then remained silent, waiting for the doctor to proceed.
"Paul Anderson, your family therapist, is on his way to see her. Once he's done speaking to her, It'll be your turn. Is that okay?"
"It's fine, she probably doesn't want to see me anyway."
The woman gave her a sympathetic look, irking Amy in the process. She was sick of people pitying her. It was something almost everyone she knew had done and she was getting tired of it.
"Why don't you wash up? Your sister left you some clothes when you were asleep."
Amy nodded then climbed out of bed. She watched the doctor head for the door then took a deep breath before walking to the bathroom. Just then, Dr. Vitalli turned back around and addressed her.
"By the way, last night, when Teddy awakened from each of her nightmares, she only asked for one person."
The curious mother questioned her.
"Who?"
The short-haired brunette cleared her throat before speaking.
"You."
The doctor gave Amy a small smile before completely exiting the room.
Teddy tugged at the buckles that bound her to the metal bars of the bed. Although she was still weak, she continued to fight. Every time a doctor offered her something to eat or drink, she'd refuse it. There was no way she was staying here, she wanted to leave. For once in her life, she just wanted to go home. As she stubbornly pulled at the restraints, Paul walked in and kindly greeted her.
"Good morning Teddy." He said with a smile, holding a brown paper bag that contained a cup of coffee in his hand. The teenager rolled her eyes then stared at him.
"What do you want?" She said rudely. Despite her unwelcoming demeanor, he managed to keep his smile and approached her.
"I wanted to talk to you. Is that okay?"
"Do I have a choice?" She asked. He looked down for a moment then looked back up.
"Yes, you do actually. I just want you to answer some questions. That's all."
Paul took a moment to examine her face and noticed the puffy cheeks and red eyes. He looked at her wrists and spotted single red marks. That indicated that she had been trying to get out of the restraints since they put it on her. He sighed then took a seat next to her.
"Can you do that for me?" He asked, patiently waiting for her answer. Teddy, whom was rather grouchy, shrugged.
"Whatever." She mumbled. That was Paul's green light to continue.
"Great. We can start by you telling me what happened yesterday."
Teddy bit her bottom lip and looked down.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean this, Teddy. Why are you here?"
"I..." She trailed off once she realized why she was there and what she did to herself.
"Teddy, I know it's not easy. Going through something is one thing but actually having the courage to talk about it is another. I won't judge you." He assured, looking into her eyes that matched her mothers.
Teddy was ashamed. She always swore to herself that she'd never be that girl. She'd never be weak. She'd never be like her mother.
Paul watched her closely but said nothing. Finally, the girl spoke.
"I couldn't handle it," she began, avoiding eye contact. By now, Amy had stopped by the door (after wandering about) and decided to eavesdrop. Teddy continued.
"I felt... This rush. It was a rush of feelings. Feelings I had pushed away for as long as I can remember. When I spoke to you yesterday... Those feelings came back. I realized that I never really... I... I... I never really-" Teddy stopped as tears began to stroll down her colorless cheeks. Paul placed the paper bag on the table beside Teddy's hospital bed then spoke.
"It's okay. It's just me and you. Go on." He encouraged. To his satisfaction, she did.
"I never really talked about what happened, you know... at home. I never told a single soul. These feelings, when they came flooding back, I felt so overwhelmed." She stopped and looked at him. He gave her an encouraging look in return.
"I... I didn't want to feel that, or any of it. I just... I felt like such a weak little girl. I didn't want to feel anymore. Once I allowed myself to feel... I just wanted to be numb. So I... I took the bottle of sleeping pills my mom kept in the bathroom cabinet and I swallowed what was left." Teddy finished, her heavy heart beating rapidly. The machine began to beep again and Amy removed herself from the door. A female nurse came rushing in and aided her daughter.
"I'm fine!" Teddy shouted as the woman tried to inject a needle into her.
"Is this necessary?" Paul asked.
"The overdose affected her heart at a dangerous level. It's very fragile at the moment and she needs to keep calm. If she doesn't, she can have a heart attack or a critical seizure." The nurse quickly explained. Paul looked at Teddy then grabbed her hand. She wasn't able to move it away like she wanted to, so she had no choice but to let him comfort her.
"Let her help you, Teddy. I know you want to get out of here. Help them, help you."
Tears streamed down the teenagers cheeks once again. She hated feeling vulnerable, she hated not having control. She nodded her head and let the nurse proceed. She inserted the needle into Teddy's right arm and watched as her heart rate went down.
"You're so brave, Teddy." Paul said as the teenager suddenly felt sleepy.
"No, I'm not." She admitted meekly, slowly drifting off. Amy took one last look at her daughter through the rectangular glass then walked away. After hearing everything she just said, she needed sometime to herself.
'Breath Amy, breath. Just remember to breath'.
Paul walked down the long corridor and spotted Amy in the waiting area. She had regular clothes on and looked like she was thinking really hard about something. He quietly walked in and sat beside her, making her jump in the process.
"Sorry-"
"No, no, it's okay. Good morning." Amy greeted.
"Good morning. How are you feeling?"
"To be honest, I don't know."
"Want to talk about it?"
Amy looked at him then nodded.
"Okay, what's on your mind?"
Amy shook her head then looked down at her lap.
"So much. I'm thinking about Teddy. About my other kids. About him..." She trailed off then looked up. She stared straight ahead then continued.
"I can't tell you everything. I can't talk about the horrible things I put those kids through. I can't talk about the horrible and unimaginable things I went through. I can't talk about my husband, or the way he treated me behind closed doors. I can't talk about how I actually miss the bastard because part of me still believes he can be the good man he promised he would be. I can't tell you about what his friend did to me... I can't fucking say how angry I am, or how weak I feel. I can't tell you how I'm feeling because the truth is, I feel way too much. What Teddy said... About wanting to feel numb. I've felt like that for so long. I've felt like that since the day Bob..." She trailed off then closed her eyes, successfully keeping her tears back.
"You don't have to tell me all at once. We can take it pace by pace-"
"No. You don't get it, do you? If I tell you... If I talk about it... I'll end up like my daughter. Except, I'd be dead, Paul. I'd be dead. If I lay it all out there... I'll... I'll be forced to deal with it. I don't want too. I refuse too. It's better to keep it far, far away from me. It's better."
Paul knew she was having a mental breakdown. He had seen this way too many times before, but somehow, for some reason, this time was different. He didn't want her to end up in a hospital bed again. This woman clearly didn't deserve this or anything else she went through.
"No, it's not better Amy. I know you're afraid. I know that what this man did to your family has left inevitable scars. You can heal them, Amy. You all can. Accepting what happened, happened is just the first step. Once you've done that, we can talk about it."
Amy sniffed.
"How can I accept the fact that I'm a victim of... of..."
Paul stopped her. She looked at him and waited for him to speak.
"You don't have to say it. Like I said before, we'll take this pace by pace. I'm here for you Amy. All of the people who love you are here for you too." he assured her. He wanted to embrace her, he wanted to hold her hand, anything as a sign of comfort, but... he knew he was still a complete stranger to the blonde. So instead, he just sat beside her, watching her silently cry.
The weekend had passed and it was now Monday afternoon. Teddy was still in the hospital but was cleared to leave the next day. Her restraints were taken off and she was free to move at her own will. The past three days in the hospital had been stressful for the sixteen year old. Her body was progressing but her emotions were not. She continued to have nightmares and disclosed herself from people. She didn't want to speak to anyone about anything.
She just wanted to be home.
As the teenager laid in her hospital bed, deep in thought, a soft knock on the door startled her. She invited them in then immediately sat up when she noticed it was Mary Lou and Ivy.
"Hey Teds, are you feeling any better?" the dark-skinned girl asked. She held out a pink teddy bear that had a ballon tied to its arm. Teddy smiled then accepted it.
"Yeah, I guess. Thanks, this is cute." she said, genuinely grateful. Ivy smiled back.
"No problem, it's the least I can do."
The room became silent and Mary Lou didn't fail to notice. She looked at the girls who had their heads down then decided to speak.
"Well Teddy, I'm happy you're all better and that you can go home tomorrow. I'll leave you two alone; I'll be right outside if you need me." the mother politely said. She gave Ivy a side hug then smiled brightly at Teddy before exiting the room.
"So, how was school Friday?"
"Teds-"
"Did you hand in our science project? What did we get?"
"Teddy..."
The sixteen year old looked up at her best friend and noticed she was crying.
"Ivy, what's wrong?"
"What's wrong? You're sitting in a hospital bed because you tried to kill yourself Teddy! You're really going to just sit there and ask me what's wrong?!"
The blonde immediately became quiet as tears of her own started to fall. Ivy noticed her error then quickly tried to fix it.
"I'm sorry Teds, I didn't mean to say that. I, I'm just..."
"No. You have nothing to be sorry about. You've been dealing with me and bullshit since the day we became best friends. I'm sorry."
"Teddy... I just... Last night, I had a bad dream," Ivy began, sitting in the chair beside Teddy's bed. The blonde refused to look at her but listened closely.
"You were in it... we were in your room, having one of our famous sleepovers. We laughed, danced, ate a ton of junk food..." Ivy trailed off once she spotted the smile on Teddy's face.
"And this is a bad dream how?"
Ivy gulped then hesitantly continued.
"Because... after we fell asleep, I woke up in the middle of the night. When I checked to see if you were there, it turned out that you weren't. So I got up and searched your house. Everyone was dead, Teddy. You, your mom, your brothers and little sister. You were all dead."
Teddy honestly didn't know what to say so she decided to say nothing at all. Ivy continued to speak.
"I know that you all went through some pretty harsh stuff, but... you all need to get help. If you don't, it can be the death of you. Your family too. You attempted suicide, Teds. You could've died-"
"Yeah, well I should have. And I'm already getting help." Once the teenager realized how bad that sounded, she apologized.
"Ugh, I'm sorry. I'm just being stupid."
"I just don't understand why you would do that. Is what you went through that bad?" Ivy dared to ask. She knew she was overstepping boundaries but she didn't care. She wanted to be there for her best friend and this time, she wasn't taking 'no' for an answer.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't! Okay?! I just don't!"
Teddy's loud voice boomed throughout the hospital room and into the hallway. Amy and Mary Lou, who were talking outside of the room, had heard the yells and rushed inside to see what was going on.
"Teddy, are you okay?" Amy immediately asked, hesistant to approach her. The sixteen year old felt bad for her actions but knew it was too late to take it back. Ivy shook her head then stormed out, Mary Lou following close behind her.
"I'm fine." she lied.
"Honey-"
"I'm fine, mom." she repeated, avoiding eye contact. Amy nodded, her heart suddenly racing.
"Okay, just making sure. The doctors don't want your blood pressure to go up again."
"I know."
"Well, I'll be outside-"
"Mom?"
Amy stopped and turned, waiting for her daughter to speak. After a few seconds, she did.
"Can you... stay with me? Until Dr. Anderson gets here? He's coming to talk to me again, before I get to leave tomorrow morning." she innocently asked, secretly hoping for a yes. Amy felt her heart swell and began to beat twice it's normal rate. Teddy asked for her to stay. She wanted Amy to stay with her. She smiled, then approached the side of her daughters hospital bed.
"Of course I will."
"Thanks." Teddy mumbled, looking down at her fingers. Amy took this as an opportunity to examine her daughters progression. The glow in her face was still gone and her lips were still chapped, but her heart rate was normal and her eyes weren't as red as before. The doctors made her eat small portions of food until her stomach was able to handle a full meal. They said the overdose hadn't damaged her as badly as it could have and Amy was truly grateful that it didn't.
Teddy felt her mother stare at her and something in her wanted to snap. Something in her wanted to yell at her and tell her to leavd. She didn't know why she asked her to stay, all she knew was that she didn't want to be alone at the moment. She felt like shit after yelling at her bestfriend, the only true friend she had and she wanted to hurt herself for it. Maybe if her mother was there with her, she wouldn't attempt to do anything stupid. As it turns out, she was right.
She didn't.
Amy stood with Teddy in silence for ten minutes until Dr. Anderson walked in. Paul greeted them then gave Amy a look.
"Can you step outside? I need to speak to Teddy alone."
The mother nodded then rubbed Teddy's free hand. To her surprise, the girl actually let her. Amy smiled at her but she didn't smile back.
"I'm gonna go get something to eat. I'll be back later." With that said, she was gone. Paul turned to the teenager who had fresh tears in her eyes. Worried, he questioned her.
"Are you okay?"
Teddy didn't respond as she looked down at her hands again.
"Teddy?"
"In my nightmares that I've been having... they were... about my mother."
Paul knew he was coming onto something so he decided to push the situation further.
"What happened in them?"
"It was me and my brother. We were locked inside of that stupid closet again. I was crying because I hated it. I felt like I couldn't breath, like I was suffocating... My brother got us out by picking the lock. Gabe wasn't with us because Aunt Helen had him. We searched the house and no one was there. Not even my father. We checked the basement and..." Teddy stopped and started to cry hysterically. Paul watched as her heart rate went up and reached out to press the button that would alert the nurses. She stopped him and tried to control her hitched breathing so the alarm wouldn't go off.
"No, let me finish. Please. I need to say this."
Paul respected her wishes then let her continue.
"My mom was on the floor. She was all bloody... my father beat her. I was crying and so was P.J. We heard footsteps and we tried to hide but... I couldn't stop crying. He found us then kicked us out. He told us to not come back. So we went to our room and cried."
Paul's assumptions were correct. Amy was definitely abused, physically, by her deceased husband. He sighed heavily then looked at the internally damaged teenager. He was still confused as to why the teenager loathed her mother so much, but knew he'd eventually find out.
"It's okay Teddy. I'm proud of you for sharing this with me."
After their talk, Paul informed Teddy of her new schedule. Unlike the rest of the family who was required to see him three days out of the week, she was required to see him everyday except Saturdays. He still had guitar lessons to teach and he hoped P.J would continue to attend them.
"I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good rest of your day, Teddy." Paul said sincerely as he put a hand on her shoulder then walked out of her hospital room.
A/N: So... Remember when Amy said she didn't want to tell Paul about what Bob's "friend" did to her? The next chapter will contain flashbacks of that and It's going to be rated M. There's a lot more surprises and shocking secrets to come. I told you guys that this story will be one hell of a ride and I did so for a reason. Please, please leave a review. I want to know your most honest opinions! Thanks for reading, you guys are the BEST. xoxo