Slowly but surely I was falling for the Great Demon Lord and there was nothing I could do about it. I could deny it; I could say it wasn't true, I could claim that waking up without him by my side didn't hurt me a bit but… all that would be a lie. I wouldn't say I was in love with the harsh demon but I… I'd dare to say I was getting there. It never helped that he would show up whenever I thought I was finally close to Sesshomaru. I wish he'd just...
…leave me alone.
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The sobs finally subsided and the sniffles to regain myself started up as I whipped all the tears that were left out of my eyes. At least he left me with that stupid huge fluffy thing to cover myself with—what is it, anyway? I couldn't figure out why he'd want to carry it around as I wrapped it all around me. He had torn all my clothes in his haste, what did he think I was going to wear?
A small meow caught my attention so I looked over to see Kirara had returned to sit just out of my reach with a tilt of her adorable head and big red blinking eyes. At least she returned so I could… what? Fly away with his fluff wrapped around me until I came across a village so I could get a new kimono and leather suit tailored? Oh, the horror… the embarrassment.
"That stupid good for nothing bastard," I hissed to myself, "wait 'til I get my hands on that monster, Kirara, I'll—"
"What?" that cool, steady, tone that I knew so well retorted. I almost gasped as I turned to see Sesshomaru standing there with a folded kimono in hand, which he promptly dropped at my feet. "What will you do, slayer?"
Did he…? Go get me a new kimono? Is that where he had gone? I couldn't seem to find my voice as I let go of the very cozy white fuzz to pick up the beautiful kimono he had got me. There were hints of green mixed with a teal blue, it seemed that the ocean was bashing around on the bottom of it as beautiful lilies floated around on the rest of it.
"This is… beautiful," I awed while I picked up the white undergarment.
"Put it on, we are leaving," he stated swiftly.
"Where are we going?" I inquired with a cocked brow as I glanced up to meet his unrelenting golden gaze.
"Get dressed," he retorted.
"Turn around," I demanded as I pulled the white undergarment up to my chest to cover myself. I almost looked like he was about to laugh the way his lips curled up.
"Truly? I have seen all of you," he stated in a very matter-of-fact tone.
"Still," I protested with a pout, "turn around."
I didn't expect to win that battle but he shook his head lightly and did just as I said before he walked off, I could feel that his aura was not far so he apparently did not have any intention of leaving me again. I took my time putting on the fine kimono and tying the obi before I was finally done and followed him into the forest a shallow way where Sesshomaru was waiting for me, "where are we going?"
"Back to my fortress," he stated as if I should have known.
"Why would I do that?" I inquired after I placed my hands on my hip.
He stared at me for a prolonged period of time before he looked down to Kirara who had walked over to purr up against him. "Where would you go otherwise?"
"Obviously…" back on the road to hunt demons endlessly? Did I want to do that? Was that such an obvious answer? I looked to the ground, if I kept that up what would happen to me? Would I find fellow slayers for friends? It was such a lonely life…
"I was wrong," he muttered almost so low that I didn't hear him.
It took a while before I looked up to him, "about…?"
He closed his eyes and turned his head away from me, "what I said."
"What did you say…?" I dragged out a bit dumbfounded, Sesshomaru was a man of few words but that didn't make it any less difficult to figure out what he was getting at.
"Never mind, let's go," he grumbled instead of answering me—typical tyrant—and began west through the trees.
"Wait, I didn't say I'd come with you," I protested but that didn't stop me from following his lead.
"Then don't."
It… it's so difficult to be close to Sesshomaru, but did I really want to? One moment I think that I can see a piece of his heart, I feel like he's on the brink of telling me something of worth, something important to him, then the next it's like I don't matter. It's like his heart closed up and faded away from me… maybe if I really wanted, maybe if I put all my effort into it, I could get him to stop doing that?
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I won, sort of, even though I kept following him I also kept arguing—well, Sesshomaru doesn't argue, he demands we do something, I'll argue, and he'll just repeat the same thing like I'll change my mind just because he said it again. Still, I refused to go with him to his castle. I just… had no idea what I wanted to do yet, should I give up on slaying and stay with Sesshomaru? Or should I honor my family's legacy?
I couldn't make such a decision without thinking about it for a few days, at the very least. Besides, if I went back with Sesshomaru what would we be? Like we used to? No emotions, very little, at least, and just endless physical pleasure? Granted, I did enjoy the latter part of our former relationship but… I missed connecting with someone. The numbness I felt—that I wanted to feel—from the hell Miroku put me through had finally faded. I wanted to feel again, I wanted to connect even if that meant I would only be hurt again.
Even though he's a demon… and I'm a demon slayer I want that tie to be with Sesshomaru. I think, I'm not positive, but I think I do… My morals, my mind, my pride tell me—rather, yell 'NO' at such an idea. My body, my heart, maybe even my soul all whisper 'yes'. The shouts reach me easier than the hush nudges, though.
Anyway, as I was saying, I won. I convinced him that we should stop in a village instead of continuing to head towards his fortress. He supplied the money, I bought the room at the inn, and then I let him in when no one was looking. I might be alright with accompanying a demon but other humans would holler like all hell broke lose if they saw Sesshomaru.
Sesshomaru simply sat across the room from me with his eyes closed, for a little while I just watched him and I couldn't help but think of Inuyasha. They didn't really look alike, Sesshomaru was stern and far more mature but when they were both quiet, sitting like that, eyes closed, I could see the family resemblance.
"I miss Inuyasha," I murmured.
Quicker than I thought, his eyes snapped open and landed on me.
"What?" I shrugged, "I do. He was immature, a pain in the rear sometimes, but he was a loyal friend. I'm sorry he's dead."
"If you say so," he grumbled as he looked away. That was really all he had to say? Inuyasha was his little brother, half-demon or not, they were blood.
"Doesn't it bother you, too?" I waited a bit but he said nothing so, "even just a little bit?"
"What does it matter to you?" he gripped before he shut his yes once more.
"It… just is," maybe if I could get him to open up about Inuyasha it would be a doorway to more? I lingered a while for oh so long and he didn't move a bit. As if I was just going to let him stay mute on the subject so I got up and moved over to sit beside him. "Sesshomaru…?"
"What?"
I sighed, he's such a bother, "do you or don't you miss Inuyasha?"
"I don't understand why it matters," he nearly hissed as he clenched one fist together and glared at me with his infamous stare.
"Do you miss—?"
"No," he finally stated with ferocious force.
I can't I say I didn't frown at that, how couldn't he miss his brother? I miss Kohaku every day… "does it bother you that he died?"
"Be silent," he demanded.
"Does it matter at all that your brother's dead?"
"Stop," he stressed but I refused.
"Inuyasha's death—" before I knew what was happening he was on top of me pinning me to the ground with such a sizzling stare that it truly struck fear in my heart. Sesshomaru was a scary man, for certain. But he wouldn't hurt me… right? "Wh-what?"
"Be silent," he urged right before his lips clashed down onto me. Why? Kissing me—did he know that was my weakness? To actually have him kiss me, I'm such a girl to allow something so simple to get at me. Though, it was a bittersweet moment. He was only doing it to make me stop pestering him.
"Stop," I protested with a bit of a sigh attached to the end of it as I pushed him away, much against my inner will. I wasn't going to let us become like that again, sex and nothing else… I didn't want that. Not again, if we are going to have any type of sensual relationship I'd need him to tell me I matter.
That we matter.
His eyes wondered around mine for a while before he pushed himself off of me and returned to the lazy sitting pose as if nothing happened.
"Why… do you want me to come back with you to your home?" I inquired as I tilted my head to the side so I could see him easier, I didn't bother to get up.
He didn't bother to look at me as he closed his eyes. I have a feeling I could ask him a thousand times and he'd never answer me so… I let it go. I'll just have to slowly work my way into his good grace, until he wanted to tell me things. I hope that's soon…
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Sesshomaru was gone when I woke up; truly, couldn't he just be there once? We didn't even share the same futon… so I went to eat breakfast. Kirara had followed me like the loyal alley she was, when we began back to the inn—Sesshomaru just had to be there by now, right?—she stopped and cocked her head to the side.
"Kirara?" I wished as I turned to look at my precious pet she just started off towards somewhere in such a rush, I had to follow her. Then I… I heard a voice that was far too familiar. Two familiar ones, actually... I couldn't stop myself in time not to follow Kirara right to them. Why would Kirara go to them? Why did I hear her purr as she surely rubbed up against one of them?
"Kirara," the giddy greedy girl giggled, "where have you been?"
I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes, then out, until I finally looked up to meet with widened violet eyes.
Really… my luck was the worst in all the world.
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I swear I've seen that face somewhere before
It's the very face I fell for in the human race.
I can't lie, I was brainwashed to be honest
In this brave new world that slowly passes by
A/N: I'm sorry for the belated update. I will update again soon, I promise. I will finish this story. I swear.