Forgetting

by J. Ferguson a.k.a. Timeless A-Peel

Disclaimer: I don't own The New Avengers, nor the characters of Steed, Gambit, and Purdey. They belong to The Avengers (Film and TV) Enterprises. This story is written for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement intended.

There was only one man in the helicopter, as it turned out, one that clearly hadn't been paid enough to try and escape when Gambit appeared and leveled the gun at him through the glass. He trooped inside obediently and was added to the rest of the collection. Vasil was curled behind Steed's umbrella stand, and refused all proddings to move until McKay's men arrived and swept him away. Kendrick was with them, and immediately set up a makeshift surgery in one of Steed's guest rooms, attending to first Vasil with a few sedatives, then Perov, and then Gambit. It was while Steed was inside receiving the antidote to restore his memory that Gambit caught up with Purdey again. She was standing uncertainly in the corridor, suddenly helpless as Ministry men bustled back and forth, attending to the prisoners and helicopter, checking Perov's car, and generally keeping busy. She smiled uncertainly at him, but stepped in close, as though his presence would wipe away the confusion in her addled brain.

"They must have sent the whole Ministry over," she joked nervously. "At this rate, we won't have any time alone until we're ninety." Gambit winced visibly at that, and her expression immediately turned to concern. "Do you still feel ill?" Her fingers brushed his face, her lips so close to his as she stepped in that he had to turn away lest he lose all self control.

"Look, Purdey," Gambit said softly. "Dr. Kendrick's upstairs. He's got an antidote for the drug that's erased your memory. Steed's had his, and it takes about half an hour to take effect. You just go in there and Kendrick will make sure you get your memory back. It's that simple. It'll make you a little tired, too, so I'm…I'm going to make myself scarce, all right?"

Her eyes were confused. "Why? I was hoping you'd be here when I came out. I mean, you're about the only touchpoint I've had today. If I'm going to get my memory back, bit by bit, it'd be easier if there was someone here. Someone I trusted."

"I know," Gambit sighed, taking her hands in his. Here it came. The confession. "But considering what's gone on between us today, I get the feeling you'll want a little time to pull yourself together before facing me again."

Purdey smiled and shook her head. "What are you talking about? I can't believe anything happened that hasn't before." She saw Gambit's downcast eyes, and felt a twinge of doubt. "Mike?"

"I should have told you sooner," Gambit blurted out, and she jerked in surprise. "But there wasn't time. And I only remembered myself at Vasil's. Otherwise I wouldn't have done anything. I need you to understand that."

"All right," she replied, laughing nervously. "Your intentions were honourable, and you can't be blamed for what you can't remember. I understand. But I don't see the problem if we're--" She froze as Gambit's eyes bore into her, beseeching her, pushing her to come to the truth on her own. "We…we are lovers, aren't we?'

Gambit looked down, briefly, as though he needed to collect himself. When he looked up again the mouth was smiling, but his blue eyes were bright with unshed tears. "No, Purdey-girl, I'm afraid we're not."

"But those pictures!" Purdey protested, feeling as thought the floor had fallen out from under her for the second time that day.

"I never said we weren't close," Gambit murmured. "We're colleagues and good friends. The best in fact. But we've, we've never really gotten it together that way."

"Why?" she wanted to know. It didn't make sense. She knew how she felt. It couldn't be just a side-effect of the drug.

Good question, Gambit thought, but didn't say it. "It's complicated," he told the girl.

"Oh." His eyes were so sad, but he clearly wasn't letting on to the full extent of the pain bubbling away inside. "But…how can that be possible?" She put a hand on his chest, taking solace from the heart beating steadily away in his chest. "The way I feel, deep down, I know I lo—"

"No! No, don't say anything," Gambit pleaded, backing away from her like he'd been burned. "Just go get your memory back. Please. Before you do anything you'll regret."

"Then maybe I don't want to remember!" she sobbed, tears racing down her cheeks. "I was happy in the flat. Really happy. If everything's so complicated, maybe it's better. Maybe I'm really feeling the way I should. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise." She kept moving toward him even as he backed away. It was tempting, so tempting what she was offering. He wanted to accept so badly. She was still coming, relentless. "Don't you ever wish you could wipe the slate clean, start over? Just be who you are and do what you want? We could do that. You and me. No past. Just us."

Gambit felt his back hit the wall. "We can't!" he cried, trapped, nowhere to run, no way to resist.

"We can!" Purdey insisted, clutching his lapels. "It's simple. I won't take the antidote. I don't care. I'll make new memories."

"Purdey, no," Gambit interrupted, shaking his head, loosening her grip, pushing her away. "Purdey, I couldn't do that. Not to you."

"Why?" Her heart was breaking. Didn't he love her, just the way she did him?

Gambit's voice, no, his whole body, was shaking. He ran a hand over his face, bracing himself before looked at her again. "For one thing," he told her, in as calm a voice as he could, "your memory will come back on its own eventually, and mine's already back, so we're not starting from scratch. For another, our history, our past, our memories are part of what made us so good together." He tried to smile again, but she wasn't having it. "We have in-jokes, Purdey. Brilliant, wonderful in-jokes, and old arguments from last Tuesday, and discussions about old films. You'd want those memories back if you knew what they were."

"But we weren't together," Purdey broke in. "Not really. It could be better. We could make a new history, new memories."

"Maybe," Gambit allowed. "But even if you never did come out of it…Purdey, every day I was with you, I'd know it wasn't the real you, the you that had all the experiences that made you the girl I knew. And I'd be betraying that girl if I carried on with her when she didn't know all the reasons, all the consequences, of what she was doing. I couldn't do that with a clean conscience, because I'd never know if that was what you'd really have wanted. So I have to go. Now. And let you get a full deck again so you can decide what you want. Really decide." He shrugged sadly. "I'm sorry, but that's how it has to be."

"At least let me kiss you good-bye." She leaned in, but he stayed her with a hand on her shoulder.

"No, I think it'd be better for both of us if you didn't. And I'm not really going anywhere. You'll see me tomorrow, and the next day, and every other day until you're sick of me." He could see the hurt in her eyes at the gesture, but there wasn't anything else to say. "Believe me, it's better this way. Things'll be easier for both of us if I walk away now. You'll understand when you get your memory back. You have to trust me."

"I trust you," she assured. "I do. But I still don't see…what I feel deep down inside, it can't come only from today."

Gambit's heart leapt in spite of himself. The idea that Purdey…his Purdey…was harbouring strong enough feelings for him to overcome amnesia was a dream come true. But he wrestled those hopes down before they could settle in. It would only make it harder when Purdey regained her wits and fell back into easy, arms-length banter.

"I should go," he said softly, brushing her cheek in spite of himself, and turned to put actions to words. She caught his arm and held him back

"When will I see you again?" Her grip was impossibly strong. Or was it her eyes that kept him there?

"Later," he answered vaguely.

She shook her head. "That's not good enough. You said you weren't leaving forever. Tell me when."

"Purdey…"

"Promise you'll come and see me. At my flat. In two hours." She could see his hesitation, and pressed on. "Look, I don't know what kind of woman I am if I'm going to shun you for keeping a promise you made to me, even if I'm an amnesiac. I'll know why you're there, and that you have the best of intentions. I won't be cross. Just come. Promise me you'll come. If you're the man I think you are, you won't just leave me like this."

"Well…"

"Promise me." She reached out and ran her fingers along his jaw. "Please. You wouldn't break a promise, would you?"

"No," he managed, mesmerized by her voice, by her touch. "All right. I promise."

She beamed. "Two hours," she reminded as he pulled away.

"Two," he agreed, and then hurried on, before the waters could get any deeper.

Gambit stood before Purdey's door, debating whether or not to knock. On the one hand, Purdey, memory fully restored, might prefer that he didn't keep his promise in exchange for a little more time to pull herself together. But on the other hand, he had made a promise. He didn't want to believe he could break a vow to Purdey, whether she was confused or not. She was still Purdey, and he wanted her to know he was here for her if she needed him. He couldn't walk away, not unless she wanted him to. That was how he'd do it. Knock, and gauge her reaction. If she hinted that she wanted him gone, he'd go. But at least she'd know he meant what he said.

He knocked.

She'd been expecting him, obviously, because she answered quickly. She'd changed into her lilac leotard, likely killing time with exercises until he arrived. She smiled fondly at the man in her doorway, his hands tucked in his pockets, shy and hopeful at the same time. She leaned against the frame, crossed her arms. "You came," she said simply.

Gambit shrugged. "I promised, didn't I?" A smile tugged at his lips. "Promised Janey, anyway. She's not still in residence, is she?"

"She's not running things, I'll tell you that much," Purdey replied, strangely circumspect. "And in case you don't believe me…bassoon."

Gambit actually laughed that time, shook his head. "I believe you. You all right?"

"Fine. I'm a bit tired, though. It's been a long day, and I had a whole evening planned. I thought I was going to be at the ballet taking in the evening performance right about now." She sighed. "You might as well come in while I'm still awake." She stood aside, smirking at the way Gambit hesitated slightly before taking her up on her offer, unwilling to intrude on her comfort zone. He really was a good man. Even Janey could see that. "I'm still surprised you came."

Gambit looked a bit shocked at that. "Well, Janey did save my life. I owed her something."

She chuckled. "Janey and Slim. Sounds like a couple from a bad fifties movie, come to think of it. But whoever I was, I thought it was high time I repaid the favour. It was so strange, especially in retrospect. To take down Perov on a barely remembered instinct. It's like watching a film in your head. And not a hint of Walter Huston to be found." She crossed the room. "Do you want a drink?"

"Desperately. Thanks." Gambit went over and settled himself on the couch. Purdey poured him a small whiskey without having to ask, and helped herself to a gin. She brought both over and handed Gambit his before settling down next to him. "Steed called," he told her, desperate for something to say. "Let me know you were both all right, had your memory back, although I think he was more worried about where I'd left his Colt."

Purdey laughed. "I heard him grumbling about it earlier. One of the clean-up crew bagged it thinking it was Perov's, and they spent a good quarter hour haggling over it. Then he started in about how Perov had dumped a perfectly good bowler and brolly in the trash somewhere." She giggled a bit more, before sobering up. "He was checking on you as much as anything, though. We've both been awfully worried about you today, and all those drugs can't have done you any good." She swallowed some more gin. "He's quite proud of the way you handled things, you know. He thinks you'll make a good leader one of these days."

Gambit snorted. "I'd have done even better with a full deck. But I'm not looking to take the boss job just yet. I just spent the last hour filling out forms for McKay. I don't know how Steed does it."

"No doubt he has some trick for avoiding the paperwork," Purdey said cheerfully. "He probably has some nice file clerk in records stamping things for him. Anyway, I'm glad you're not in the top job. You're already insufferable with that seniority of yours."

They both laughed at that, a safe familiar laugh at a safe familiar joke, appreciated all the more with the knowledge that neither would have been able to share in it a few hours earlier.

They sipped in silence for a moment after that, both preoccupied with the same thoughts, and painfully aware that the other was pondering the same subject. It was just a matter of who broached it first. Gambit didn't want to, but knowing Purdey, she'd hold out just to push him to be first, if only to see how he handled it. And he knew he'd go mad if he didn't say something soon. He set the glass down on the coffee table with a decisive thunk.

"I want you to know," he began, facing her with serious eyes, "what…happened…earlier was an effect of the drug. Not a bad one, mind," he admitted. "But I'm prepared to forget all about it. What Slim and Janey did…it doesn't have to change anything."

Purdey looked sad, suddenly set her drink down beside his. "I didn't like being Janey," she confessed. "She was suspicious, insecure, needy, and at times her diction left much to be desired. But she had one good point. She was honest with herself, and she didn't let anything distract her from how she felt." She put a hand on his, currently resting on his knee. "Mike Gambit, I saw you dead today. Even I can't ignore how that made me feel, let alone how Janey felt when we almost lost you to the conditioning."

Gambit swallowed hard. "Are you sure you and Janey haven't gotten your wires crossed?"

She grinned and shook her head. "Janey had one other good attribute. She had excellent taste in men." She reached up and touched his lips. "And she would have finished what she started, the way I should have long ago. I'm not going to wait for a real corpse." She leaned against him, soft and warm. "Do you have any plans this evening?"

"No, but I could still take you to the ballet," Gambit offered, even though that was the last place he wanted to go just now.

"I'd rather stay in," Purdey said suggestively, eyes wide and warm.

Gambit arched an eyebrow, trying to remain calm even as his heart leapt and his stomach flip-flopped. "Are you saying…?"

"If you can remember where you left off," she murmured in his ear, letting her hand slide between his jacket and shirt.

Gambit grinned, and leaned forward to brush her lips with his. "The chances of me forgetting that," he whispered, "are very, very small."

End

That's it! Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. I hope you liked the wrap-up on this one. You may want to go back and rewatch the episode "House of Cards," as most of the plot concerns the events of that episode. There's also soem pretty obvious references to "The Forget-Me-Not" and "The Wringer," as well.

This'll be my last AU piece for a bit. I'd like to try and post some stories from my canonical "arc" series next, with some indication of the order. That means a couple stories that have already been posted are going to be popping up again edited, and there'll be another multi-chapter story as well. Until then, stay tuned!