March 10, 2006

Thunder could be heard outside of her apartment. Emma glared at the flickering lights in her living room. All she wanted to do was relax after a tiring day of work, reading the book in her hand. The lights were going to go out at any moment and ruin her plans. Her job as a bail bondsman gave her a lot of quiet moments in between cases. The free time was a nice respite, after the five years since Emma had Killian.

The time was challenging. Angela died three years after Killian was born from severe Lupus in her heart. The woman was stubborn because she decided to forgo surgery, since the doctors told her she would only gain an extra year to live. Even when Emma started working for her, she knew she was sick. She was a surrogate grandmother to Killian, and she doted on him as a grandson while Emma finished her GED and got her bail bondsman license. He even thought as Angela as a grandmother because he called her "Grammy." When she died, she left Emma the house. Emma sold it for an apartment because she couldn't bear living in the house without Angela in it.

She sighed as she thought about her young son. It was so easy to call him Killian in her head, but when she saw him, he looked like the spitting image of his father, except for his green eyes and chin. Looking at him would bring up painful memories of how she and Killian parted. She resorted to calling him Henry most of the time to acknowledge him. As he grew up, he was called one portion of his name on multiple occasions. Emma feared that he would have a confused identity to who he was. Fortunately, the poor kid was used to being called all three names. She was grateful that she had such an understanding son. He never complained about which name she called him.

With a loud boom, the lights went out. Closing her book, she sighed that she would be unable to advance to the next page. The book dropped to the floor when she missed the end table, trying to place it on the surface in the dark. Since all form of power was gone, she was bored. I guess I should call it a night. She decided, but she needed to think about sleeping arrangements. She could sleep on the couch she was sitting on or struggle to find her way to the bedroom in the dark.

"Mama! Mama!" A small voice yelled, breaking her away from her contemplation.

Henry! She jumped at the sound of his voice. Her heart began to race, hearing her son's distress. She ignored the pain on her thighs as she bumped into the wall and certain objects on her way to her son's room. Eventually, she reached his door and could hear whimpers from the other side.

Thankfully, his room had access to a window where moonlight could shine through. She didn't have to blindly make her way to his bed. Wrapping her arms around him in an embrace, she could feel his tears and his body shiver.

"Kill-Henry," Emma corrected herself. "What's wrong?" She asked, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"My nightlight went out. I was scared the monsters that come out in the dark will get me," he whispered against her chest, she could imagine his small lip quivering.

"It's alright. Mommy is here," she cooed. Moments like this she wished that Killian was here. He was missing everything in his son's life. What would he say in this situation? Her mind drifted to when they first kissed, and the memory of his father entered her mind.

She placed both of her hands on his shoulders so she could properly look at him in the dark. She could see his tear-filled eyes looking up at her. "Now, remember. Whenever you get scared, all you have to do is look inside." She pointed to his heart and smiled. "You are braver than you think, if you look deep enough." She touched his nose playfully with her index finger. "One day you will grow up to be a fine young man. Then you will have to ask yourself a question: What kind of man are you going to be?" She finished, embracing her son and threading her fingers through his hair. Her chin rested on top of his head.

"Was dad a good man?" He asked, voice small.

It broke her heart that he asked that question. She hadn't thought of the possibility that he would want to know about his father. This was the first time he asked about his father. What was she supposed to tell him? The memories she had fresh in her mind were of when she last saw him-Milah and his bloodlust. Looking past those incidents, he made her feel treasured when Liam was still alive. She still loved him, despite what happened. Fate just handed them a situation they couldn't control. She closed her eyes and decided what to tell Henry. At least, he would have a good memory of his father.

"Your father was the bravest and sweetest man I knew. When he loved, it was very deep." Emma finished, voice wistful.

"What happened to him?" His voice broke her out of her musings. Her brows furrowed in contemplation as the question made her pause. She didn't really know her husband's fate. She only knew her husband was stuck in the past. Still, he could be someone her son could be proud of.

"He was in the navy, and he died along with your uncle," she said finally. The sweet man she knew did somewhat die along with his brother, when he became filled with vengeance.

"Do you think he would be proud of me?" He asked hopeful.

Emma smiled at Henry fondly. She knew Killian would have doted on their son. Henry had an uncanny ability at reading her. He didn't outright say anything when he saw her upset. When Emma cried in her room, she would compose herself before she left to a task in the apartment. Henry could tell that she was upset and would wrap his arms around her waist to comfort her. He also had a drive to prove himself as well.

"I think… he would have loved you very much. He would have been proud to see how you carry on his name," she answered truthfully, ruffling his hair with her hand.

He pulled away after her statement and looked up at her. She could see his eyes turn bright." Then I want to grow up and be brave just like dad!" He said with determination.

His enthusiasm made Emma laugh. "I'm pretty sure you would give him a run for his gold-I mean money," she corrected herself. Sometimes the Enchanted Forest lingo slipped out-a habit that she needed to break.

"Can you tell me a fairytale story?" He asked with a yawn.

Emma frowned, eyes furrowing in thought. She didn't really know what to tell him. She told him all the common tales she knew. Unbiddenly, words started flowing from her mouth.

"Once upon a time, there was a princess from a far away realm. Her life was very sad because she had no place to call home. One day, she found a conch shell on a dock. The shell was unique because it was silver. Out of curiosity, she blew on the shell. Suddenly, a magical storm blew, knocking her into the ocean. The ocean was violent and cold, and the poor princess thought she was going to meet her end. When all hope seemed lost, she was rescued by a young lieutenant from another time. "

"She traveled to another time?" His voice was filled with curiosity, but he was half asleep.

"Yes, she traveled to the past. At first, she wanted to go home, but she fell deeply in love with the lieutenant. When they first kissed they shared emotions and memories. Apparently, they were soulmates. Their life was perfect bliss until the princess was ripped from her love and sent back to her time by a vengeful Goddess."

She had to pause to calm her emotions. She couldn't believe she just told her son a parallel to her story. Hearing the words echoed in her mind hurt.

"Did the lovers ever reunite?" He asked sad, struggling to keep his eyes open.

Emma's eyes were filled to the brim with tears. It took all her self-control to not break down in front of her son. She didn't believe in happy endings, but she never wanted her son to lose hope and be bitter when it came to love. Just because her experience changed her, she didn't want her son to have the same pessimism when it came to love.

"A week had passed for the princess. She didn't give up her quest to return to her husband. One day, the princess made a wish to return to her love on a necklace. Since her love for him was pure, she was able to return. Suddenly, her soul told her he was in danger. Apparently, an imp was angry that her love, who turned pirate, stole the imp's treasure in the ten years he spent apart from his princess. After a long sword fight, the princess bested the imp, saving her love. The lovers kissed and they lived happily ever after."

"So even after all that time, they still loved each other deeply?" He asked with awe.

Emma was at a loss for words. She knew she still loved Killian, but his love for her diminished. Her eyes closed in pain when she had to lie to her son.

"Yes, time doesn't stop love. It makes it stronger and delays it for a while."

She didn't believe what she was saying, but she wanted her son to keep his beliefs.

"I hope you find your soulmate like in the story, Mom," he whispered, giving Emma a comforting hug.

His words caused her breath to hitch and she quickly wiped at her eyes. Henry didn't know that the story she told was a happier version of her own. The only person she had room for her life was her son. She made good on her promise of not opening her heart to anyone else and it worked well- so far. Her mind wasn't going to change anytime soon.

"Maybe one day I will, kiddo, but for now, you're the only important man in my life," she said, comforting Henry in her arms as he fell asleep.

Killian, wherever you are, I hope you find happiness. With that thought, Emma slowly drifted off to sleep, snuggling right next to her son.

A lone figure with disheveled black hair was sitting in a corner of a room, sporting a flask of rum. Only in solitude could he let his walls down. He looked outside of his cabin window, watching the moonlight shine on the ocean's surface. Life was pretty much bland to him because he was missing one important individual-Emma.

He rubbed his face when his mind drifted to their last interaction. How he wished that she never saw him that day. That was the worst day of his existence-the day when Emma appeared. He was trying to procure a magic bean, thinking it would take him to the future. After securing the bean, he was going to let Milah have the Jolly when he traveled to the future alone. He never expected to run into Rumpelstiltskin. He should have given her up when her husband asked. At first, he assumed she needed sometime away from her husband, because she was tired of the way he was acting. So, he wanted to help out by helping her get some space. In fact, he tried to push the man to fight for his wife so he could change Milah's opinion of him. Killian never did expect the man to cower in fear.

Seeing what Rumpelstiltskin became five years later made Killian feel horrible of the way he treated him, knowing what he turned into. He deserved the Dark One's wrath, but when he saw Emma all he wanted to do was live for her. She was as beautiful as he remembered. He wanted to hold, kiss, and touch her. He could see the same sentiment in her eyes. Of course, the Crocodile was making things worse by making assumptions. After Emma returned to him and when she saw how much time had passed, his situation she found him in didn't work in his favor. To make matters worse, Milah had to come in and try to save the day.

Milah was a friend, who developed an infatuation with him. He didn't have any feelings that were beyond platonic. He could hear the infatuation in her voice as she explained how they met to Emma. She purposely told Emma that they met in a tavern, knowing how Emma felt about bar wenches. Emma already doubted her worth when she saw him bring tavern wenches on the ship. Luckily, he had crewmembers to stop him in the past. When she found out he met Milah in a tavern, he didn't miss that look of rejection on her face. It killed him that she doubted his love for her. The situation became worse when Milah told him that she loved him when she died in his arms. Emma took that as a sign that he cheated on her. She was justified in her assumption by what Rumple told her and how Milah acted towards him.

"Emma, my love, I'm sorry." He found himself repeating, his voice breaking. He often wondered, if he said it enough times, she would come back to him. He wasn't that lucky.

Killian didn't know how much time had passed since Emma left him after the Milah incident. He stopped counting after he spent a century in Neverland. True to the Crocodile's words, in order to reach Emma, he couldn't die. He remembered Emma's retelling of Neverland about a boy who never grew old. If the story was true, he could bide his time in that realm. Pan wasn't amused when he arrived on the Jolly. Pan confirmed the tale and told him, in order to stay, he had to earn his keep. All opinions that he had of Pan went out the window when he started working for him. Pan was an entirely different character altogether. His innocent look was a mask, but the boy was evil. The jobs that Pan forced him to do were often sadistic in nature, and Killian didn't think that one person could take so much delight in causing discord. In his mind, he referred to Pan as a Demon. As a form of payment, Pan told him he would let him leave when the time came for him to return to the Enchanted Forest. Killian didn't know how the Bloody Demon knew when Emma was to be born. Pan had his own agenda and said getting to the land without magic was Killian's problem, once he returned to the Enchanted Forest.

Killian lazily brought the flask of rum to his mouth at the thought. The amber liquid burned as it went down his throat. He turned his attention to his desk. Once it used to be spotless, but now, it was littered with papers. He wrote so many letters of apologies and explanations for when he next saw Emma to keep him sane. He drew many pictures of her so that he would never forget her face. Oh, how he missed her touch and her voice.

"Emma, the moon is beautiful tonight. Don't you agree?" Tears fell from his eyes, his voice was filled with longing. He always asked imaginary questions to her, and often wondered if she stared at the same moon and sun as he did. A small part of him hoped she thought of him as much as he did her. When she left the first time, his soul felt like it was torn apart. When he left for Neverland he experienced the same feeling. He knew they would be forever bonded, and the love they shared was special. He would be damned, if he didn't spend every last breath fighting for their love.

For the time being, he would continue to sell his soul to Pan. All the sins he was forced to commit was his own to bear. It didn't matter as long as he returned to her. He looked at the small round object he often held for comfort. It would be worth it when he saw Emma again.

"I will find you, Emma," he promised with determination, holding onto Emma's wedding band.

No matter what sort of man he turned into the next few centuries, he was going to make sure that he saw her face again.

Next: A change in the wind