AN; Okay, so I'm not really sure about the rating system and all that so I'll just put a lil warning here for this chapter because VA is a YA series and all that. Rose gets a bit of loving in this chapter, nothing explicit or detailed, but I thought that it's better to be safe than sorry. Enjoy :)

One minute I'm standing there staring at his dark brown eyes, the next I'm engulfed in his arms. The years flew away from me and I felt like nothing had changed between us, that we were back thinking everything was alright. I was gonna be my best friend's guardian, and he was gonna be Christian's so that we could be together.

I allowed myself to relax in his embrace for a split second, enjoying his warmth, strong arms and sharp scent.

Then I remembered Danny. Things were different now, and I couldn't let myself forget reality for a future that I had once thought would be mine. I tried to break from his iron hold, but he wouldn't let me go.

"Dimitri, please let go," I said, feeling trapped.

"Please, Roza," he whispered. "I need this. I need to know you're real."

I stayed still and let him hold me, understanding his need to know that I'm fine. I was the same when I got Danny back.

After a few awkward moments for me, he let me go and stepped back.

"I'm sorry, Rose," he said, his eyes boring into my own.

I shrugged and said, "It's okay."

"I don't mean for right now, I mean for back then." His eyes leave mine and focus on the ground where his all but forgotten groceries are.

"It's okay," I repeated. "I kept pushing myself onto you when you didn't want me. I get it." There was bitterness in my tone that had no place being there.

He looked at me again, and took a deep breath before saying, "That's the thing. I did want you, and I hated myself for it. I hated myself for what I put you through, and every time I saw you I remembered how horrible I'd been."

I was shaking my head before he'd even finished talking. I didn't want to hear this. I didn't want to know that his love hadn't faded. I didn't want to know. I tried to cover my rising panic with flippancy. "Are we really having a heart-to-heart in the middle of the street, Comrade?"

His old nickname burned my tongue as I said it, but still I forced myself to. Satisfaction swelled in me at him flinching when I said it.

"Roza, please, can we just talk?" He asked. His words were desperate, but his tone was cold, guarded; a true guardian voice to match his guardian face.

I shook my head, again. "I can't do this, now."

"Please." Some desperation cracked his calm appearance, and I found myself nodding, hating to see him like this.

Wordlessly, we picked up the fallen food and shoved them back in the bags. We sat down on the curb, a couple of feet separating us.

After a few minutes of silence, the tension got to me. "You wanted to talk, so talk," I snapped.

He sighed, his head dropping to rest against his raised knees. I mirrored his position. "I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but I never stopped loving you. How could I? You're in my every thought, my every memory. When I heard that you'd… died…" he trailed off, his voice cracking with emotion.

"When I thought that you were dead, I died, too," he said. He looked sideways at me. I could see his heart and soul bared right there in his eyes. "I stopped living. I was a robot, a zombie. Nothing but a shell of—"

"Don't you dare say that," I interrupted, my anger rising. He'd hit a nerve. He didn't know what a fucking zombie was. He didn't know what it's like to be trapped in your own body. I'd only had a glimpse of it when Danny experienced that very feeling, and Dimitri sure as hell didn't know what the fuck he was talking about.

"Don't you dare say you were a zombie. You don't even know what that means."

"Please, Rose. Just let me explain," he pleaded.

I made a 'go on' gesture with my hand, the fight leaving me.

"I know that I treated you badly. I know that I should never have let you leave. I should've been there for you with whatever went down with Vasilisa." He looked back down between his legs. "I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am."

"You're right, you can't," I said. "I don't want to hear it."

"Just let me finish!" He snapped. His eyes were burning, and I knew that he was close to losing his hard won control. "I'll let you go," he said, softly, a sharp contrast to his voice only moments ago. "I'll let you go, because I can see that you're happy with Danny. But Roza," he said, his hand reaching out to grasp my own. "Please don't disappear on me again."

"Dimitri, I—"

"I need you in my life, Rose. I need you. I need to know that you're okay. I know that you've moved on, and I'm happy for you, but I just need you to be in my life. Be my friend, please, just be my friend," he said.

"I don't know if I can," I whispered. "There's too much shit between us. How can we be friends after everything?"

"I don't know, but please just promise me that you'll try."

Could I really be friends with the first love of my life? The first guy to love me back? The first and only person to truly break my heart? Do I even know how to be friends with someone? I made my best friend hate me, and I never let myself care enough about the others to be hurt when they let me walk out of their lives. But Dimitri was right. He was a huge part of my life, and until very recently my heart had ached for him. I'd hated him and loved him with equal passion. But now I'm solid with Danny. I'd given my heart, soul and body to Danny, which then healed my heart. Danny patched up the shattered remains of me so that I could move on. Is ignoring Dimitri moving on, or is it clinging to the past?

"Okay," I said. "I'll try."

A smile lit his face, even as tears brimmed in his eyes. "That's enough for me."

I stood up, hating my own eyes for betraying me with traitor tears. "I've got to get back to Danny. I've got to fix things."

Dimitri nodded briskly, quickly following me in standing up. He picked up the bags.

We stood there awkwardly for a heart-beat. What would friends do now? Hug? Hand shake? God, I'm so out of my depth.

"I've got to get a few more things," Dimitri said.

"Okay," I said. "I'll see you back at the house later, then."

He nodded at me before we both went our separate ways. I didn't look back as I started jogging back to the Belikova house.

Danny was waiting outside for me when I got there. He looked up and saw me running towards him. Wordlessly we ran to each, our arms wrapping around each other as my lips found his. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist as his tongue found a home in my mouth. He walked with me wrapped around his strong body until I felt something hard against my back.

"I missed you," he murmured, his lips moving to trail kisses down my neck.

I arched into him, feeling the heat build in the pit of belly. "I'm sorry," I gasped out, he'd found that sweet spot just above my collarbone.

"I know," he whispered against my skin, his breath cool against my flushed skin. "Me too."

"I'll support you in whatever you do," I said. I could feel him hot and heavy right at my centre and I needed him more than I needed to breathe at that moment.

He looked at me, his forehead pressed to mine. His eyes were a fierce deep blue now, flaring with his emotion. I could feel his lips move against my own as he spoke. "You're my family, now, Marie. You're all I need."

With that said, we were gone. He took me hard and fast against the house; our need to be connected—to feel each other, over taking our desire to make love. We fucked, and I'd never felt more whole before in my life.

AN; Things are looking up :) Let me know what you think.