That Friday morning the troops could tell that something was amiss. Their engaging Captain was missing in action as she proceeded to her office, closed the door, and pulled the blinds without even a hint of small talk. That day she concentrated on paperwork and started a daily routine of three calls to Castle's voice mail where she tried a variety apologies that grew more and more desperate.
After almost a week of no replies, she headed directly to the loft after lunch and found Edwardo manning the reception desk. When she inquired about going up, he told her that just the female contingent was home, and they would not welcome her visit. Castle must have immediately shared the news with the other two ladies in his life, and that was an ominous sign. He was apparently out all afternoon, and Edwardo had no idea about when he would return. Striking out there, she headed to the Old Haunt in the hopes that he had taken refuge in his nicely appointed basement office. Her hopes were vindicated when Brian pointed to the stairway, and she headed down without hesitation.
"Beckett, what are you doing here? There is nothing to talk about. You lied to me about the most important thing in your life. Even after getting married, you didn't trust us with your problems or me with the solution. Instead you followed who you really are and left our always by the wayside like trash - like your mother in that alley. Your years of seeking justice for your mother and others have made you a willing hunter who feeds off the injustices of others to stroke your own obsession with revenge."
"Rick, I'm not going to apologize for the fact that the man who ruined so much of my life is dead, and the details are not for your sanctimonious ears to know. It's a gritty unforgiving world out there, and sometimes you need to venture into the muck to get the job done. Your dad understood that; he and Rita have done that for years. Why can't you?"
"So the ends justify the means no matter how badly it affects our relationship?"
"Castle, this was the biggest thing in my life. What do you want me to say here?
"Perhaps, I had hoped that our always was the biggest thing in your life after you came to me that night in the rain, but I guess that was just a temporary respite while your true passion awaited a new spark."
"We are done here Kate except for telling our friends and family, the tabloid publicity, and the legal process. I'll see my lawyer next week, and you should probably talk to your dad about retaining one as well." Kate immediately left sensing there was nothing she could say after such a tirade. Her lack of trust had finally broken them, and there was no turning back.
She stopped by a coffee and called her dad. The conversation did not go well. Her sanitized news about the death of LOKSAT was the highpoint. From there things went downhill as she revealed that she and Rick were probably at the end of the road. She had lied to him about how the whole LOKKSAT thing went down, and he had caught her. When he asked how that could be, she said the how part was secret, and she would never divulge it.
"What have you done, Kate? Now you have lost the best thing that has ever happened to you. Did it bring Johanna back? Is the triumph worth the loss? You let your future happiness run right through your fingers for your obsession. Marriages aren't a one-way street. You don't get to decide what to share and what not to."
"God dad, I finally get the guy who ruined our family, and you go off on me not sharing? Can't you see the bigger picture here? I got the bastard back, and I will not apologize to anyone for using whatever means necessary. Sometimes you need to sink into the mire to get what you want, and if that means no Castle because I am somehow tainted - so be it."
"Kate, I think you're the one missing the bigger picture here. You are giving up a life of happiness with your one-and-done for the sake of your obsession with revenge. Does evening scores become the only thing you live for? Think about how dark a world that is. Are you really ready to settle for that? You really need therapy."
"Why does everybody want to change me? Castle and you are a broken record. Perhaps this is the real me, and both of you just don't want to acknowledge it."
With that harsh assessment, Jim was at a loss about what to say next. He knew all too well that Kate could be stubborn and saw no point continuing the confrontation with this new darker version of his daughter. After begging off for some fictitious work he had to do, he prepared himself for a future of estrangement from his daughter while she adapted to this bleaker persona he did not see coming.
Over the next week things at the precinct took a decided turn for the worse. Sooner or later someone had talked to Castle, and the news about their breakup hit the gossip network. It probably came from Ryan or Espo, but within a few days most of her direct reports were sprinting to get out of her office with as little chit-chat as possible. The only exception was Vikram, and he was quite sure everyone now blamed her for cruelly abandoning a man who adored her. About a month later, the whole mess lost any sense of mystery when a court server appeared in the bullpen and needed a very public acceptance of service signature.
When that happened, she figured it was time to acknowledge the obvious by taking off her wedding rings, finding a real apartment, and deciding if she was really cut out for a life in the bureaucratic maze of the NYPD. Taking off the rings would be the hardest. Their always was supposed to be permanent – a one-and-done type of girl - that's what she told him. Now everything about that was in tatters. When given a choice between their always and seeking revenge, she had chosen the latter and then lied about it. Her decisions laid bare an ugly truth, and it was time to stop pretending. Maddie knew people through her restaurant that could help with the apartment search, and her pending divorce settlement would allow her no end of options. The final task was meeting with Deputy Chief Gates for a heart-to-heart about her future. Castle was right to observe that paper pushing wasn't her thing, but what other options might the NYPD have for her?
That next weekend while home looking at condo ads on second coffee refill, she got the call she wasn't expecting. "Ms. Beckett, this is John Miller from the curtain cleaning service you used earlier. We were wondering if we could meet to discuss your impressions about our past service." Kate almost fell off the couch totally blanking on her previous conversation with Rita. She quickly recovered her composure and offered a text address for the specifics. The caller said he would include other stipulations in the text, and she was free to cancel if those did not suite her.