-I'll find my way back to you. In this life or another. You're my heart and my soul. You've taken over every part of me and as the abyss swallows me whole, know that no will take the feelings we've share or have away. - Santana Lopez
April 14th, 1922
…
As Brittany gazes out of the apartment, remembering how Santana looked at her that night—how much love was instilled in her eyes. She didn't need to say it back, she already knew how she felt about her. It killed her inside to leave Santana. She has flashbacks of that night of what she would've done differently. She would've jumped back on the ship and ran to her, and Santana would hold her in her arms. She'd tell her that she couldn't do it and that's her deepest regret. At least if that happened, she would've been with her the entire time. Instead she's left in a lifeboat with Quinn, while they bawl their eyes out watching as the Titanic suffers its demise.
She folds her arms together, rubbing her hands against them, feeling like as if a draft as taken over, sending chills down her spine. Ten years seemed like it was just yesterday and here she is, alive and well after so many people lost their lives that day.
She licks her lips as sadness takes over her entire body. She sighs heavily, sitting back down on her bed. She lays flat on the mattress, before she drifts into a deep sleep.
…
April 14th, 1912
Santana and Rachel push through the even larger crowd. It seems as if the people only have grown as the ship sinks further and further down. The water has made its way into the first two compartments and as Santana and Rachel search for another way around the ship for safety, they begin to get pushed and shoved.
Santana pulls Rachel up on a platform to overlook the other side of the ship, searching for any other sign of civilization. Rachel's breath hitches as she runs her hand through her hair in despair. She feels her throat close up as she sees the bow sinks forward. Her eyes begin to water in search for anything.
"They're all gone. All the boats are gone," she breaths out and Santana continues looking. Usually she has all the answers, but this was something she just couldn't fix. The important thing is Brittany and Quinn are safe, but Rachel needed to be safe too, for Quinn's sake. She couldn't live with herself if something happened to Rachel.
She jumps off the platform and pulls Rachel with her. She takes her hand and guides her through the throng of people as they scream in horror, also discovering the lack of boats. They pass a group of men tossing the rest of furniture off the ship.
"What are you thinking Santana?" Rachel finally asks as they pull through. She knows Santana's determined to go somewhere—where, she didn't know, but Santana had some form of a plan in her head that she refused to share.
"How's your swimming Berry?" She asks semi sarcastically. Rachel's eyes widen as Santana grabs a rail to pull them further up to the stern of the ship.
"I'm from New York Santana, we don't swim much there," she replies and Santana turns her head, chuckling at her. She shakes her head amused—even under the circumstances, she's surprised by the fact that she can be amused by the young woman.
"Well it's time to learn," she exclaims, pulling them further up past a priest saying prayers for a few people. She stands there for a moment, then looks up at the sky, knowing her parents are looking down at her. The only strength she believes in or needs to believe in is them—as of now, there is no God.
"I'm Jewish, those prayers can't save me," she hears Rachel say breathlessly and Santana smiles, laughing at her, before pulling her forward and over the sterns rails.
"Step up and over, just hang on," Santana instructs and Rachel nods, holding her hand out for Santana to take. She takes it gladly and holds it tightly as they watch the boat lift up slowly. Some people slide down the dock, not able to grab hold of anything in time.
Rachel and Santana look at one another, as if thinking the same thing. There is a high chance they won't survive this. That they'll never see Brittany nor Quinn again and it's like as if flashes of everything they've had with the two women comes into their view.
Rachel begins to think back when she first met Quinn. Her head tilted back soaking up the sun and how her hair was just blowing in the wind. She remembers thinking that she was the most beautiful woman she has ever laid eyes on. She just couldn't take her eyes off her, no matter how hard she tried. She always believed attraction was a beautiful thing, whether she ended up with a man or woman was the mysterious thing about it—she found it intriguing, but she knew. She knew Quinn was right for her—she was the one she was going to spend the rest of her life with.
Asking for a cigarette seemed like the perfect conversation starter and she learned a lot about the woman that day and every day since. When they spent their first night out together, things couldn't have gone more perfectly. Perhaps it was the chivalrous side of her and the absolute desire she had for her that she desperately wanted to kiss her and when their lips locked it was like fire and ice mixing as one and nothing was unobtainable.
Then the first night they made love, how passionate it was, how slow it was. With each kiss and touch, she remembers taking her time to memorize every part of Quinn. How each ridge and curve of her body met with the next, where each freckle or scar laid. The way Quinn wrapped herself around her body, how securely she pushed herself further into her embrace, and how she did the same. It wasn't hard to tell how much Quinn loved her that night. In her eyes, in her actions, she knew—no one had to say it.
Santana laces her fingers with Rachel's and the smaller brunette looks down at them, then up at Santana's waiting brown eyes. She gives her a firm nod as they watch the boat slowly make its way down. It's unbelievable to Santana how much has occurred in these four days.
How when she first met Rachel that day on the deck, but the only eyes she had for was the tall blonde, standing at the top deck, deep in concentration, her eyes glued to a book—she later discovered was poetry. The way her hair was pulled out of her eyes, but it still blew behind her. She took her breath away and all she could do was write about her. She knew nothing about her, but she knew she was an angel sent to her.
Then that night where she saved her life, it was like God had laid a hand and fate brought them together. Even under the circumstances of her being engaged and them in different statures, it's like they both knew that night something was there between them. Whatever it was, they needed to figure it out.
The night after the horribly gone wrong dinner, Santana was sure it's what brought them together. She opened up to her—someone she barely knew and told her of her parents. The forbidden love they shared because in some way she wanted Brittany to know it was possible to love someone even though she shouldn't. To take the chance and she did. She showed up at the bench and let herself be embraced by the love Santana had been showering her with since the moment they met.
They consummated that love, it was passionate, it was raw and erotic all at the same time, and Santana couldn't have picked a better person to share her most intimate desires with for the last time. The possibility of never seeing Brittany again hurt, but at the same time, Santana was okay with that thought. At least she experienced true love before her life ended and she'll be forever grateful of everything that Brittany is.
…
In the distance, Brittany and Quinn watch the boat stand up on its bow. They can hear the distant screams and could see several passengers sliding down the dock into the water, while some have already jumped in, not giving themselves a fighting chance.
Their cheeks are deep red from the weather and their cries. Brittany wraps her arms around Quinn as she begins to cry again into her shoulder, burying her head further into her embrace. Things aren't meant to happen like this. This shouldn't be happening right now. Both Rachel and Santana are supposed to be with them and they had to be the chivalrous ones and push them on board to save them.
"I should be on there with them," Quinn breaths out into Brittany not taking her eyes off the boat as it cracks in half before their eyes. Brittany's body begins to shake at the sound of the wood splitting in two, knowing people are being sucked between the split that it just made. The entire scene is just a twisted, morbid nightmare she wants to wake up from.
"No one deserves to be on there with anyone," Brittany simply replies, rubbing her hand against Quinn's shoulder. From where she sits she could hear the creaking of the bow's half sliding down under the water, taking the rest of the boat with it, pushing the sterns side up straight. To think it's even possible for a ship of such scale to be able to do such a thing is absolutely mad.
The creaking only increases as the stern slowly begins its trail down, ready to be sucked under the surface with the other half of the ship. Both women sit there watching as it does so, desperately hoping that their beloveds got on another lifeboat. Praying that neither one of them are on that boat as it completely sucks underneath the Atlantic Ocean, where it'll rest for decades.
…
The water accumulates closer and closer to them and Rachel exchanges a fearful look with Santana, who tried to be strong for the other woman, but she couldn't. So many thoughts were racing through her mind—as if her life is flashing before her and all she could do is clutch tighter to Rachel's hand.
"On the count of three take a deep breath," she speaks and Rachel nods furiously as tears slowly stream down her cheeks. Thoughts of Quinn rush through her head and she can't force back the tears any longer. Santana looks over at Rachel for a split moment and her eyes are still peeled forward at the water sucking the ship further and further down. "Ready?" She asks finally and Rachel turns her gaze to Santana. She isn't ready, but what other choice does she have?
Rachel gulps and nods, beginning to suck in deep breaths in and out as Santana continues to keep her eyes locked with hers doing the same.
"One," she begins to count.
Inhaling and exhaling deeply.
"Two,"
Inhale, exhale.
"Three!"
Sucking in the final breath, the boat gulfs them down with the rest of the people on board. Santana holds Rachel's hand tightly, pulling her as hard as she could to her as to not lose her, for Quinn's sake. Santana takes in Rachel's presences under the water, how difficult it is for her to hold her breath under the icy abyss.
Santana too was having difficulty and as she looks up at the surface of the water, how the moon reflects brilliantly off the dark water. As soon as she breaks the serenity will be over. She'll break the surface and screams and calls for help will engulf her ears and it won't be so peaceful. Being stuck under the water doesn't seem so bad right now. But to not fight to get back to Brittany and get Rachel back to Quinn would be her greatest regret.
She pulls Rachel up as she comes up behind her. Rachel is coughing the water out of her lungs as her head comes up to the surface. Santana grabs her waist and pulls her with her as Rachel continues to cough up all the water that accumulated in her lungs.
"Try kicking your legs," Santana breaths out as cool fog engulfs it. She's freezing and she knows Rachel is as well, but when she suggests the action, Rachel instantly does as she is told. They push through the screaming passengers, dodging as many of them as possible from pushing them down. Everyone is looking for something to grab, anything, even if it need be a person.
She pulls Rachel up next to her and pushes further through the crowd. Frost as begun to form on both their dark hair, but neither girl could care right now. They needed to find something; anything to use for leverage out of this icy water before it overtakes their bodies.
In the short distance, they spot a large piece and Santana kicks faster and faster. "Come on Rachel, kick harder!" She yells to her as Rachel does as she's told, breathing heavily, feeling the cold slowly beginning to overtake her body.
They make it to the fire place mantel and Santana pushes Rachel up on it. Rachel's chest raises up and down quickly as she tries to catch her breath. For a moment, Santana lets her rest there, knowing just how much it probably hurts right now. Not even realizing her own state, Santana just wanted to save everyone else—she didn't need to save herself.
Rachel turns over, holding her hand out for Santana pulling her only to have it begin to tip. "Whoa, whoa, hold on," Santana says with a shiver, steading it enough so Rachel doesn't slip off. She swims around to the end of it that has Rachel's feet on it, before climbing up on it as Rachel forces most of her weight on the front. Santana struggles, losing strength by the second, only to have Rachel turn around ready to grab her.
"Rachel it's no use," she tells her, sliding off back into the water, letting the cold engulf her body again.
Rachel just watches her from the mantel, shaking her head. "No, I'm not leaving you in there. You will die if you don't get out," she shivers and Santana looks down at the mantel's print and designs. She begins to trace the lines of it with her finger, her thoughts roaming elsewhere.
"Do you hear me Santana? I'm not letting you die," Rachel pushes, moving Santana's eyes up to her. They're intense and the fire in them warms Santana almost instantly. "For Brittany and for Quinn," she adds softly and Santana looks off in the distance at the lifeboats that remain a safe distance away from the still yelling crowd.
She knew Brittany and Quinn were over there, wondering what their fate was. If they got on a lifeboat like they did or if they're stuck in this water. Will they freeze to death? Will they find somewhat higher ground to keep them out of the water? For Brittany and Quinn, she needed to at least try. She turns back to Rachel's waiting brown eyes of fire and nods.
She swims back around to the end and Rachel sits back on the front with her entire weight, holding her hand out. Santana takes deep breaths before pulling herself halfway out of the water, grasping Rachel's wrist. Rachel pulls her forward with a forceful tug and Santana collapses on top of Rachel. Both breathless, with absolute no strength left in them, they lay there.
"We won't tell Brittany and Quinn about this," Rachel jests with a shiver as Santana lays on top of her. Santana chuckles deeply, feeling the cold taking over, but nods in agreement.
"It wouldn't go over well with Lucy that is for sure," Santana replies and Rachel just shakes her head furiously, letting their breathing return back to normal. They lay there for a few moments, taking in the others breathing, before Rachel engulfs Santana in her arms. Santana's eyes search Rachel's, wondering what she was doing—if it was a friendly gesture or what.
"To keep you warm. You laying this way is helping me a little, but we have to help you," Rachel explains and Santana nods in understanding, wrapping her arms fully around Rachel, burying herself into her embrace. As uncomfortable as she thought it'd be, it really wasn't to be in her arms. She just wanted a different pair of arms—a different pair of warm arms to be wrapped around her, but Rachel's will have to do for now.
I was going to hold off on updating this, but I couldn't do that when the 100 year anniversary is today. How could I do that? You guys understand. Anyway, Rachel and Santana aren't out of the woods (or danger) yet. The thing I hated about the movie is seriously, they could've both gotten on that piece in the water, if they tried harder. One time does not mean shit. She could've begged him to get up. They could've laid on each other (via. Santana and Rachel). It was possible, but for purposes for the plot they wanted him to die for the effect of it all, so that was that. Anyway, apologies for my tiny mini rant there. Thank you guys so much for the reviews, glad to see you haven't forgotten about the story and be mindful there will be about two chapters left after this, so till then please review.