Chapter 10

Of Muchness and Mayflies

Alice stood alone in the Hatter's bedroom (which was more like a cramped junk room than a bedroom), struggling to fix the buttons on the back of her dress. No matter which way she turned or squirmed she just couldn't grasp the little silver nubs. In her frustration Alice moaned a sharp and anguish filled grunt, as she threw herself heavily onto the bed. The stress of the pending evening seemed to tighten every muscle in her body, and constrict all rational and pleasant thoughts in her mind. She hadn't felt this miserable for a long time. They had to go, and she couldn't fight it. The Hatter had tried his best to find a loophole within the summons, but Cheshire had managed to apologetically counter each of his attempts. There was simply no way out of it. Every time one of the Hatter's possible solutions faltered, the hopelessness of the situation was rammed deeper into his and Alice's heart. Alice could tell he felt it too. Every time Cheshire retorted, the Hatter would squeeze Alice's hand, and his brilliant green eyes would flash her a sincerely contrite glance. Brief as these glances were, they seemed to bore into her; which only made her feel worse.

Alice sat on the edge of the bed with her new dress hanging limp from her frame. She knew the dress was too pretty for her. The silks were too fine, and the cut of the dress was too tight and dainty for her body. Her body that reminded her more of a boy's than an elegant lady's. She knew that when the Hatter saw her in it, he would be disappointed that he had wasted his best fabrics on her. Although Alice was certain of this, it wasn't true. But that's how dread-filled thoughts work: They manifest inside the mind and fill it up, as smoothly and quickly as black ash clouds billow outwards and enlarge. They wait patiently and gnaw at the roots of any happy thoughts, killing them before they have a chance to blossom.

A soft knock sounded from the other side of the door. Alice quickly held the dress to her body.

"Come in." she said timidly.

The Hatter slowly entered the room, closing the door with a quiet click. His pupils shrunk slightly when he noticed that she was not properly dressed. But she had beckoned him in, so it may not bother her, and shouldn't bother him.

"Are you having trouble with the dress?" he asked, his voice nearly empty of emotion. Alice could tell it took him a enormous effort to keep his voice so suppressed.

"I…" She stared back at him blankly, as the brakes on her train of thought came to a dawdling stop. "I'm having a bit of trouble with the buttons. Could you…?"

Alice stood up in front of a dull full length mirror in the corner of the room. She lifted her hair out of the way so that the Hatter could get a clear view of the buttons that ran down the back of the dress.

"Yes of course." he said in a slightly more cheerful tone. "I should have known you wouldn't be able to fix them yourself, they're so small." he wittered more to himself than to Alice.

As he set about buttoning the dress Alice gazed into the mirror. The dress was truly wonderful. The skirt was made up of thick contrasting dark and light blue panels of material; that widened towards the bottom, like the simple patterns on parasols at the sea side. Spiralling up the skirt in a crossed lace fashion were the ebony ribbons she had chosen. They were threaded tightly in some places and slack in others, allowing the ink-blue petticoat underneath to bulge out in different parts. The waist was close-fitting in the most flattering way to Alice's figure up until the bust, where the material became comfortably loose. One strip of material made up the sleeves that ran in line with her firm collar bones. The fabric became wider on one side, to cover up the scratched scars on her arm. Over the wider part of the sleeve, the Hatter hade folded some crystal blue material into the shape of three butterflies, and embroidered their bodies with dark threads.

Alice wondered why the Hatter had covered up her scars. Did he think them ugly? Alice had never really paid them much attention until now. She had never cared about her appearance much until now either. But why would he make the effort to cover them?

Alice closed her eyes and lent back onto the Hatter's torso. She didn't want to think about her looks. All she wanted to think about was the Hatter; whom she was lucky to have this time with. As she lent against his warm body Alice thought to herself, how unnecessary and melodramatic the rest of the world was. Always panicking and blinding itself with its own self importance. Like a needy child, the rest of the world would grasp her hand an drag her away to somewhere she didn't want to go; and away from this perfect scenario. The flawless scenario with nothing else to bother the two of them. No wars, no dreams, no Jabberwockies and no different worlds.

In the reflection, over her shoulder the Hatter wore an expression of pride. From behind her he wrapped his arms around her torso and placed his hands over her abdomen. Her reflection portrayed her serene expression, as her pale complexion shone out against the darkness of the room. With her eyes as peacefully closed as they were, she almost looked as if she were asleep. The shadows cast over her face by her eyelashes and full lips looked so immaculate in the dim light, nearly as if a skilled artist had painted them there. To the Hatter her brightness was almost unearthly. Tender words filled his mouth and pressed against his closed teeth with a longing for release. He saw no point in withholding them.

"You look beautiful." he said nearly melodious tone, as smile eased its way on to his face.

Alice's eyes snapped open; And for a split second the Hatter was sure he saw a flash of disbelief in them. Even though she had snatched it back as quickly as it had come, and concealed it with a smile, he had still glimpsed it. His face fell into a perplexed expression.

"I'm not lying. Do you think I'm lying?" he craned his neck to look round her shoulders and into her face. "I'd never lie to you." he said looking slightly hurt.

Alice turned to face him. She had never heard someone call her beautiful, and think them sincere. Plenty of people had called her beautiful at her's and Hamish's engagement party - but they hadn't meant the same thing as the Hatter. The Overlanders had been evaluating her body for breeding purposes, like a cow at a livestock auction; with the highest bidder being the Ascots. But this was very different. When Alice looked up at him, she felt warm jumbled words swimming about in her lungs. They were making no attempt to present themselves as a sentence; they just mingled with one another in the shadow of her heart. Alice was beginning to lose patience with them.

"Why did you cover up my Bandersnatch scars?" she asked with the tact of a child.

"Well I…" the Hatter was a little taken aback. He stepped back as if recovering from a sneeze and tried his best to formulate his words in an intelligible fashion. "I assumed, since you are a girl, that you'd want it covered - Not that you should want it covered, it's a lovely scar. But most women cover their faces and blemishes and every crevasse in so much make up, you'd think that they were trying to redraw their face. Not that they'd need to and you certainly don't need to. And you wouldn't - I couldn't picture you like the others, covering yourself so extensively-"

"Hatter, what are you trying to say?" interrupted Alice courteously.

"You're not like the others at all." he continued as if she hadn't said anything."The others are so flimsy. They look as if they'd shatter into one-million-two-hundred and-thirty-one tiny peaces, if you simply flicked them on the nose-"

"What does this have to do with my scar?" asked Alice, her voice shaking slightly with surprised laughter.

"Your scar, shows that you're dissimilar to them." the Hatter's voice was dithering and wavering, as if he were embarrassed about his affection for her scars. He rolled up her sleeve to show the three bright red healed scratches. "They display your muchness: that you can stare the frumious Bandersnatch in its one eye. None of the other brittle, make up covered women have that." he traced the lines of the scratches with the tips of his fingers, causing Alice to blush as he cooed: "They're so swift and red."

Alice could feel his breath on her bare shoulder as he stroked his fingers up and down the scratch marks. When the Hatter saw the radiant cherry blossom pink her cheeks had become, and awkwardly withdrew to a less intimate distance.

"I could alter the dress, if you like." he said uncomfortably, as if the voice of decorum had just whispered scolding words in his ear.

"No, it's fine." replied Alice brightly, feeling satisfied . "We don't have the time anyway. Considering…"

The sense of dread settled back into her stomach, after the Hatter had come so close to fighting it off for good.

"Time never seems to favour us; it really does him no good to be this bitter." the Hatter remarked with an undertone of defeat in his voice. Alice racked her brains for an explanation for times stinginess

"I don't think time appreciates being squandered, so he doesn't give us enough to waist, just enough to savour." posed Alice after a moment, feeling a little wise.

The Hatter pondered her theory for a moment with a look of admiration. "I believe you may be right about time, but it would do him no harm to be a little more generous."

"Do you have the time?" asked Alice, knowing that they would have to set off soon.

"No, that thieving cat stole it." replied the Hatter, referring to his pocket watch.

Alice went to leave the room and ask for the time, but the Hatter held her wrist and drew her back.

"We don't have to go. We could run, we could hide. We could escape to the mushroom fields, and have our own secret tea party in the shadow of Absolem's mushroom - I am rather fond of that idea."

"That's quite unlike you."

"What is?"

"Running away and hiding. You were the first to offer to slay the Jabberwocky." replied Alice, trying her best conceal her liking of his idea.

"Yes, well, the circumstances were quite atypical then."

Alice wasn't sure what he meant by this. Did he mean that he didn't think that she'd die on the Frabjous day, or that he didn't love her on the Frabjous day? The question must have shown on her face; because behind the Hatter's eyes his mind reeled at speed as he searched it for the answer. An answer did not make itself apparent.

"Would you really run away from a court order?" asked Alice with a sweet eagerness. She didn't want the conversation to come to such an sudden halt "On the strength of a dream?"

"No, not any other run-of-the-mill dream." the Hatter replied. He may be mad, but he wasn't that foolishly reckless. "It's rather strange; you being visited by a dream about a tragic party, the night before receiving a party invitation." he posed pensively.

"I'm not scared." Alice blurted out, as if the words had been waiting for her attention to be diverted before escaping.

"I never uttered a word that you were."

"Are you?"

"What?"

"Scared?"

"Yes." he replied honestly, venting his fear through an unsure laugh.

At that moment Alice felt like doing something impulsive. Her mother had always discouraged impulsiveness. But then again, her mother had encouraged unpleasant and laughable things. Such as wearing a corset, putting only one sugar in one's tea, and marrying a lord with teeth resembling piano keys made by a blind man. Therefore her mother's advice was hereby declared unsound. But before she could act on impulse, the ragged cat's voice came from behind the door, followed by Cheshire's softer voice:

"Come on you two!"

"You're not mayflies; there'll be plenty of time later."

"Time for what exactly?" whispered the ragged cat to Cheshire pertly.

"Shush." he replied sharply.

"We should leave; be there before the guards get here." muttered the Hatter under his breath. He reached for his blue jacket, that Alice had been wearing only a few minutes previous. But as he leaned forward to get it Alice obstructed him with an abrupt kiss. She clutched his tie and closed her eyes, hoping that he wouldn't pull away. The Hatter felt his heart stop and it's outer layer melt away, before he unwillingly pulled himself from her. Alice let a giggle flee her mouth as they shared a adoring yet sheepish look; their bodies keeping very still.

"I hear laughing; we must intervene." said the ragged cat from behind the door, as if she were carrying out a military mission. Cheshire ignored her, but he was all too aware that they had to move quickly.

"The guards will be here soon." prompted Chess "And in the arms of the law, is never the best way to arrive at a party Tarrant."

After snatching up his jacket, The Hatter took Alice's hand in his and placed his other on the doorknob, but didn't turn it. Just stared at it with intentful unblinking eyes, as his mind spun like an intoxicated carousel. Moving backwards slowly, recalling events that had happened; only to speed up and move forward even faster than before, thinking of all the dreadful possibilities, of events to come. If he escorted Alice to the party tonight, and something happened to her, then he would be breaking his promise. Promises were his second least favourite broken thing.

Alice squeezed the Hatter's hand comfortingly, as she whispered quietly, as if she were the only one intended to hear it: "I lied." without needing to add: I'm scared too.

They both felt their fondness of the Hatter's previous "secret tea party idea" inflate tenfold. But they knew that the guards would come to find them. And besides, the Hatter knew that Alice's muchness would be wasted in hiding. She had a bright and brave soul, that would only be swallowed and dimmed by the shadows of exile. He pressed her hand tightly in his before opening the door. There was no going back now. They were walking into Alice dream.

A/N Kissing the Hatter out of the blue = good

Bitter tea = bad

There really was little point to that chapter wasn't there? Oh well, the next chapter is the evening party. Do forgive me if it takes me a while, it's only because I want to get it right (and I have a tonne on English coursework to redraft :p)

Reviews are greatly appreciated. I'm stunned by how many I've received so far (36 is a lot to me, it's almost dizzying) ^-^ xxxx