A week had passed, and things were better.
It was weird, because now that both Mara and Jerome were trying so desperately to get their friendship back to normal they were actually together more often than they had been before. And that also meant that now Mara was spending more time with Alfie as well, and the three of them would often sit together to have lunch, or hang out after school. Both Mara and Jerome were slightly relieved to have Alfie's company at times. Although things were good between the two of them, (that fateful evening had never been mentioned again), there were still occasional silences where Mara's mind would think back to all that she had said, and she would hurt again. She still liked him just as much, if not more after all the time spent together, and she was still hurt and embarrassed... But having Alfie around meant his chatter would fill the silences, and his presence would make them less aware of how much had changed.
Alfie himself hadn't noticed anything unusual about how the pair acted around each other, though to him, the prospect of them even being friends was slightly strange. The whole thing had happened very suddenly, one moment they never spoke, the next it was like they were telling each other their darkest secrets.
But he let it go, because Mara was alright to hang out with. A bit too geeky at times, granted, but she had somewhat come out of her shell over the last year, and she chatted to him much more animatedly than she had done before.
It was during one lunch time that the three were sat together, and to Mara's disapproval, the boys were attempting to eavesdrop on one of Nina and Fabien's conversations.
"Guys, come on, give them some privacy!" she whispered, shaking her head.
"No way! You can't pass up on an opportunity like this!" said Alfie, who was leant back so far off his chair in order to hear better that he looked simply ridiculous.
"Opportunity? Leave them alone! Besides, do you really want to hear what they're talking about? I bet it's all mushy lovey stuff anyway!"
Mara cringed slightly as she spoke, as she always did when words like love were used around her and Jerome.
"Yeah, it's pretty sickening..." Alfie continued, craning his neck even further.
"Then why are you still listening?"
"Because," whispered Jerome, looking devious. "It's very good ammunition for teasing them about it later..."
He and Alfie high-fived each other, and Mara rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but laugh slightly as well.
"Hi, Mara..."
The whispering stopped, and all three of them glanced up to see Mick, standing there looking sheepish, his hands in his pockets.
"Hi..." Mara replied quietly, slightly in shock. This was the first time he'd come up to her since the breakup. Mara genuinely missed him, she missed just chatting with him like best friends, but since all the Jerome drama she'd hardly given it much thought.
"Can I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure..."
Mara stood up, smiling slightly at Jerome and Alfie, and followed him into the corner.
"Look Mara, this is still really hard for me...but do you want to get together sometime? Just to talk? It might make it worse, but it might make it easier...I just want to go back to normal."
"Back to when we were friends?" Mara asked, smiling softly at him.
"Yeah...so do you want to meet up for coffee maybe? Saturday?"
"Ok, that sounds good."
He smiled, then moved forwards as if to give her a hug and then obviously reconsidered. Stepping back awkwardly, he nodded briefly, and then left the room. Mara stood there, slightly confused. It was great that he wanted to talk again, it was just different now. Especially now that she had well and truly moved on. Though he couldn't know that...
Jerome watched Mara and Mick out of the corner of his eye, and didn't really know how to feel about it. Sure, it was really good if they were talking again, she would probably feel less guilty about breaking up with him. But would that come at a price? Would spending more time with Mick again mean she'd spend less time with him? Maybe no time in the long run? And then maybe once again they would be left in a state where one of them cared about the other, but they never spoke. It was pretty unlikely, but it was still a thought, and the idea of losing a good friend made Jerome feel slightly uneasy.
Mara sat back down in her chair, then raised her eyebrows.
"Finished spying yet?" She said, and Jerome couldn't help but laugh.
"Yeah, but do you want to hear about our plan for later?" Alfie said excitedly, twiddling his fingers like an evil genius.
"I'm intrigued but completely frightened at the same time..."
Jerome was instantly struck by a feeling of déjà vu, though he couldn't quite recall why. Feeling confused and rather strange, he listened absent mindlessly to Alfie's explanation. It wasn't exactly a 'plan' so to speak, just that they'd wait until dinner and wind Nina and Fabian up about all the vomit inducing comments that they'd said to each other.
"You know, you could be much more tactical than that. Not that I'm approving of this plan or anything, but you don't have to be as blunt about it. You could at least try and sneak bits of what they've said into a conversation between yourselves, and see when they catch on?"
"You know what Mara?" Jerome said. "That's much better. You're a genius!"
She felt flattered, and gave him a quick smile as he smiled back. Once again, Jerome felt like it had happened before, and was thoroughly confused at the mixed feelings that rushed through him. Whenever it had happened before, it must have been a big deal for him...but how could such a simple look provoke such a flurry of emotions?
You're just tired, he thought. You've had a long day, and you need to relax. These things probably haven't even happened before, you just think that they might have.
He shook it off, and tried to forget about the feeling of déjà vu, and focused entirely on the conversation instead.
"So what did Mick want?" Jerome asked, curious as ever.
"Oh," said Mara. "He just wanted to talk...to get back to being friends. It's quite nice of him really."
"Well yeah, it's really nice. After you crushed his heart into a million pieces and all of that..." Alfie cut in dramatically, making big gestures and miming being killed.
"It wasn't like that, and besides, she couldn't just stay with him for the hell of it." Jerome said, receiving an approving nod from Mara.
"Thanks Jerome. And I know it won't be the same, but it'll be nice just to talk again," she said, kind of wanting to get off the conversation. She knew that Jerome didn't like her back, but she still wasn't going to talk about other guys around him. She wanted at least to make sure he knew that they weren't going to get back together.
Luckily for her, later that evening, Mara and Mick were the last things on Jerome's mind. In fact, he was happy that they were talking again. It was getting boring seeing Mick looking depressed every day. Though he was still concerned about the sudden feelings he'd experienced at lunchtime. It had definitely reminded him of something, though it wasn't until the evening that he was able to pinpoint exactly what it was.
And it was that one phrase that had triggered it. 'I'm intrigued but completely frightened at the same time.'
He lay in bed, racking his brain trying to recreate the time or place, trying to think where he'd heard those words before.
'I'm intrigued but completely frightened at the same time.'
...
'I'm intrigued but completely frightened at the same time.'
...
'I'm intrigued but completely frightened at the same time.'
'So that's a yes then, isn't it?'
And then it came back. Election time. The time he'd bottled up his fear and managed to ask Mara as casually as he could if he could be her campaign manager. He hadn't shown it at the time, but he'd been thrilled when she'd agreed to it.
It all came back, and he assumed it was just because back then, when Mara had so much as smiled at him he got a thrill, a shock though his entire body. It meant so much back then whenever she'd shown the slightest bit of interest. And now because she was smiling the same smiles, using the same looks, and saying the same phrases...he would probably always relate them to when they meant everything to him.
But it was weird, because now although Mara still acted in a similar way, she was still the same, yet the way Jerome felt about her was different. He hadn't thought it would be like this. He assumed that if she had stayed the same, so would his feelings.
Jerome couldn't get his head round it, he couldn't understand why how he felt a year ago was affecting him now. None the less, he went to sleep not feeling certain of anything anymore.