Chapter TEN
"Stop complaining will you?" Sami snapped impatiently.
"Why shouldn't I complain?" asked Nicole bitterly, "I've been put back together wrong – my left arm is where my right should be and vice versa!"
"At least one of them is no longer your leg," pointed out Chloe pragmatically.
"Whose brilliant idea was it anyway to let Stephanie reassemble me?" asked Nicole in annoyance.
"It was no ones," said Sami with a sweet smile, "She was the only one who wanted the job so you should be grateful for small mercies."
"Gee thanks," said Nicole sarcastically.
"You're welcome," Stephanie chimed in happily.
"For nothing," muttered Nicole under her breath.
"I don't believe it!" Sami gasped as they rounded a curve, "At last!"
"It's the Emerald city!" exclaimed Stephanie delightedly, clapping her hands together excitedly.
"No that's another bush," said Chloe with a roll of her eyes and directed Stephanie's gaze upwards, " That' s the Emerald City."
"Oh," said Stephanie in surprise, "It doesn't look like a bush at all – I wonder why that is?"
"Because it isn't?" suggested Nicole in exasperation.
"Come on!" said Sami excitedly, "I'm almost out of this nightmare, let's go!"
They ran the rest of the way but before they got to the big and impressive door that was the only way into the Emerald City Nicole stopped them.
"Hold on," she cautioned them, "They're not going to just let us in without a cover story."
"Why not?" asked Sami in vexation.
"Because you have to book an audience with the Big Wizard months in advance," said Chloe with a nod, "He doesn't take walk ins."
"Well he's going to take me," said Sami, her lips thinning determinedly.
"Hold on GI Joe," said Nicole flatly, "We can't storm the city gates, we have to be smart about this."
A few minutes later Chloe, Nicole, Sami and Pookie were huddled behind some bushes and watching as Stephanie approached the large gates.
"Explain to me again how this is us being smart sending Stephanie out there?" asked Sami sceptically.
"It's simple," said Nicole impatiently, "We all know Stephanie's an idiot right?"
"Right," Sami and Chloe agreed without hesitation.
"Well no one would send someone that stupid in if they were really up to something now would they?" reasoned Nicole, "The guy will answer the door, figure she is too stupid to make something like this up and take the bait."
"So Stephanie will tell the gate keeper that someone is trying to get in the back of Emerald City, he'll go to investigate and then we can all just walk in," said Chloe slowly, "Right?"
"Right," said Nicole confidently.
They all watched now as Stephanie knocked on the big door and it was opened a minute later by a man dressed in a suit, albeit a green one.
"Tony!" exclaimed Sami in amazement.
She'd wondered why she hadn't seen him with the rest of the munchkins.
"Shh!" Nicole hissed at her.
"Hi," said Stephanie brightly, "I'm Stephanie."
"Okay," said Tony calmly.
I think someone is trying to sneak into the Emerald City the back way thought Stephanie to herself happily.
"And while you're gone my friends and I are going to sneak in through the front door," she said aloud, a big, dopey smile on her face.
"Oh dear god no," Sami groaned in disbelief, "She's said the wrong thing aloud!"
A vague smile came to Tony's lips as he looked Stephanie up and down coolly.
"I think you have just said what you meant to think and thought what you meant to say my dear," observed Tony, his face giving nothing away, "At least I'm assuming that was what that was."
"You idiot!" Sami threw at Nicole, "Look what you've done now!"
"At least I had a plan," said Nicole indignantly.
"Yeah Sami," said Chloe, looking like she was coming to Nicole's defence but it was short lived, "She just didn't tell us that it sucked."
"I'm sick of this!" declared Sami, standing up from behind the bushes and striding over to where Tony and Stephanie were standing.
She squared off with Tony.
"Okay," said Sami forcefully, "I know you're not meant to let anyone through that door but I'm desperate! I have to see the Big Wizard because I don't belong here, I really don't! I need to get back home to my children, to my life and I just can't be in the crazy place anymore! Please, please can you break the rules just this once for us Tony – you would literally be saving my life – I'm begging you!"
Sami looked back over her shoulder at the others and Chloe pulled a face.
"You're coming off a bit needy," she advised Sami, "You may want to tone that down a bit."
Sami rolled her eyes at the lack of help she was getting before turning back to the older man.
"Please Tony," she said earnestly, "Please, I need you to do this for me, I really do."
Tony didn't speak for a long time, just stared back at Sami before giving her the same once over that he'd given Stephanie.
"Sure," he said at last with a little shrug, "Why should I care?"
"Wh-what?" asked Sami, a little taken aback by his response.
"Look Dayz has killed me off more times than I care to remember," said Tony with a twist of his lips, "What do I care who comes and goes in their stupid city? I'm just here to steal a few candlesticks and a bit of cutlery and then I'm outta here."
"Really?" asked Sami, wrinkling her nose at him.
"Sure," said Tony with a quirk of his lips, "Come on in, make yourself at home – take anything that catches your eye – that's what I'm doing."
"Ah okay," said Sami hesitantly as Tony stepped back to let them all pass.
"Well that was unexpected," commented Nicole as they walked into the grand looking hallway.
"Rolf!" Tony yelled from the doorway, "Some ladies to see the Big Wizard for you!"
Rolf popped out of a little door off to the right of them which Sami suspected was actually a cupboard and made a bit of a grunt.
"Zis vay," he instructed them and started to head off down the hall.
"I can't believe I'm finally going to get out of this place," said Sami, feeling the relief rush through her body, "I'm am so over Dayz."
"You and everyone else if the ratings are anything to go by," said Nicole casually.
"Ratings?" asked Sami in confusion, "What does that mean?"
"Never mind," said Nicole coolly, "Forget it. Hurry up Lurch, we've all got places we'd rather be."
"Vhy am I alvays za lackey in zese zings?" Rolf grumbled as they walked along the impressive hallway, turning this way and that, "I speak zeven languages, I have four degreez and yet I'm za one giving za guided tourz."
"Less talk and more walk Rolf," said Sami curtly, "I want out of here."
Finally they walked into what looked like a grand ballroom with a series of steps that led up to a huge and very red velvet curtain.
"I guess our guy knows how to make an entrance," observed Chloe, looking around at scene.
A large group of people seemed to be milling about, some looking like they were working, some not so much. Everyone of them though were dressed in different shades of green.
"Big Vizard your next appointment iz here," called out Rolf, still sounding vaguely put out.
"I don't hear my pomp and circumstance," came back a sing song voice from behind the giant velvet curtains.
"I'll give you your pomp and zircumstanze," muttered Rolf in annoyance before clearing his throat and giving the introduction the Big Wizard clearly expected.
He went and stood in the centre of the first step of the grand stair case as everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him. Clearly they were used to this and Sami had to wonder if this was what happened for everyone who wanted an audience with the Big Wiz.
"Denizenz of Dayz, Employeez of za Emerald Zity... I give to you, za vone, za only, za Big Cheeze himself... ZA BIG VIZARD OF DAYZ!"
Rolf gave a grand sweep of his arm before backing away from the stairs and then promptly walking off back down the hall, obviously not feeling the need to hang around. The red velvet curtain began to lift slowly.
"I'm so excited," said Chloe, jumping up and down, "I've heard the Big Wizard is very cute and a real lady's man."
Sami didn't care so much about that, just that he could get them home although she was curious as to who it would turn out to be. The curtain had lifted now to reveal quite a tall, dark haired man standing at the top of the stairs in one amazing outfit. He was wearing a shirt that tied at the front and was completely made up of sequence and pants that were quite extraordinary. They were made entirely of tassels so when he walked they moved rather disconcertingly. He looked like he was wearing a sea anemone in a weird way.
"Hello my darlings!" cried out the Big Wizard, making an expansive gesture with both of his arms, "How about a little song to get this party started eh?"
With that the Big Wizard launched into his version of "Hello Dolly", complete with a very enthusiastic dance. A glitter ball dropped from the ceiling and back up dances appeared behind the Big Wizard and suddenly it was a full Hollywood musical. Everyone stared at the flamboyant scene, momentarily lost for words.
"Are you sure you heard he was a lady's man and not just a lady man?" asked Nicole sceptically as the Big Wizard belted out the chorus of his chosen song.
"He's so shiny," said Stephanie in wide eyed wonder, "Look at him sparkle."
She began to rock back and forth as though mesmerised by the shininess of it all as he danced and sang away merrily to his audience.
"Those jazz hands are really something," said Sami unevenly, joining in on the commentary.
She was beginning to doubt that this dancing queen was going to be any real use to her getting home after all. And he seemed strangely familiar too. It took her awhile but Sami suddenly realised it was Chris, Kate's assistant that she'd met at the gym. From her meetings with him and if this was the same guy then lady man was definitely a more apt description. The Big Wizard then did a high kick during his dance number and everyone gave a gasp of horror.
"Wow," said Nicole with a pained expression on her face, "I did not expect those puppies to be crotchless."
"That was a surprise," agreed Sami with a grimace.
The musical number was getting into full swing when Sami suddenly remembered something. She waited until the singing and dancing was over and Chris or rather the Big Wizard twirled over to them, ending his routine on a big flourish.
"Ooohhh!" exclaimed Stephanie, excitedly clapping his energetic performance, "Again, again!"
"No not again!" exclaimed Sami, frightened that might actually happen.
"A quick costume change and I'll be right back," he said excitedly.
"NO!" said Sami firmly, grabbing his arm, "No costume changes, all I want from you is for you to go and get the real Big Wizard."
"Wh-what?" he asked, looking at her wide eyed.
"You heard me," said Sami defiantly, folding her arms in front of herself.
"Sami what are you doing?" asked Chloe in concern.
"I'm cutting through the sparkles," said Sami flatly, not backing down, "I want to see the real Big Wizard."