Look Back At Me

Part X

"It'll do this town good to have you, Miss."

Higgins' words resounded through Margaret's head after he had left. What had preceded them had scared her more. Was the mill in difficulty? Margaret had not spoken of business or the mill with Mr Thornton since he had stopped visiting her father and she felt a little embarrassed to mention it even now. She would have to ask Mr Thornton, whether he wished to talk about it or not.

The next day, after not much sleep, Margaret made her way towards Marlborough Mills. She heard the snow crunch beneath her leather boots. The weather had remained cold and fresh snow fell every hour. There was a lump in her throat and her lungs felt like they were constricted by her ribs, leaving her short of breath. But she was too stubborn to give into it and she forced herself to walk on. She passed Milton's streets with its small shops and cramped houses. Although there were no bright colours, large trees or familiar faces to soothe her, the bleakness and the feeling of abandonment that had accompanied her when she had first walked these streets, were gone. The dark shadows that came from the large clouds hovering above the town, were somewhat brightened by the reflection of the white snow. Margaret could not help but see a hint of irony in the weather: her own glooming thoughts were every now and then snowed under by hope.

Margaret did not notice the looks of amusement and surprise the factory workers gave her when she entered the gates of Marlborough Mills. All she saw was the black figure staring sternly at her from behind one of the windows in the great house. Margaret would recognise that stern face anywhere and it discouraged her now more than ever. Her feet took her up to the front step and with a shaking hand she knocked on the door. She heard rustling sounds before she was even done knocking.

Mr Thornton opened the door so quickly, Margaret was still standing with her hand up. He had been waiting for her in the hallway, desperate to have a moment with her before his mother would get to her. She looked a little puzzled when she saw him, but then her eyes softened and she gave him sweet smile.

"Margaret..", he almost whispered her name as he let her in. Before Mr Thornton closed the door, he did see the grinning faces of the hands out in the courtyard. Mr Thornton felt pride swell up inside him as he faced Miss Hale. His employees knew well what she was doing there and he had heard their gossiping remarks while walking through the cotton rooms. Surprisingly, they had been praising remarks, "He's done well for 'emself with such a pretty one". Mr Thornton was certain that Higgins' opinion on the matter and Margaret involvement with these men were of great influence concerning this status, and he was grateful.

He and Margaret stood facing each other in the hall, neither of them wanting to move. "I have promised my mother I would let you talk in private, so I shall return to the mill..", there was obvious reluctance in his voice. Mr Thornton stood a little helpless before Miss Hale, not quite sure what to do next.

Margaret saw his doubt, "Do not worry, I have every intention of someday making your mother my ally", she smiled courageously. "I am sure she can do me no more harm than I can do her, and come what may, I will face it.".

"I wish we could face it together..", Mr Thornton was still reluctant to leave, his eyes directed intensely at Miss Hale.

"Oh, we will. Do not think it will be settled after today, John", Margaret said with a tone of teasing. She sighed heavily and forced herself to smile once more, faking ease.

Mr Thornton took her cold hand and kissed it, closing his eyes for a moment. He looked at her afterwards and gave her a small nod of encouragement. I love you. How I love you. He walked towards the door, but he did not let go of her hand until he was already outside. Mr Thornton give her hand one last squeeze and then he walked towards his office.

Margaret noticed a maid coming in to close the door. She was a young, pale looking girl with sleek, ebony-coloured hair and light eyes. "Mistress is waiting for ya", she gestured Margaret with a skinny hand to follow her into the parlour. Mrs Thornton was still standing near the window, with her back towards Miss Hale. There was no doubt she had seen her son leave the house just a moment ago, and therefore she could guess he had talked with Margaret. The maid quickly closed the door behind them, glad to leave to room.

"So..", Mrs Thornton turned around abruptly and looked at Miss Hale with discontent, "you have come. I did not doubt your boldness, but I did think John might try to persuade you otherwise". Mrs Thornton did not move or nor did she seem willing to offer Margaret a chair.

Margaret straightened her back, "He did not try, nor would I be so easily persuaded." She did not give Mrs Thornton time to insult her. Margaret was going to strike out before blame could be cast on her. This bulldog was only going to listen if it was bitten first: it had no sympathy for weakness. "I know you think very little of me, but that you think your son so low as to keep me away out of fear, as if he did not trust me ór you, I do not understand. Mr Thornton is the most honourable and valiant man I know and I was under the impression you respected his judgement." She looked Mrs Thornton straight in the eyes, forcing the woman to acknowledge her words. Margaret folded her hands to hide a tremble she could not control.

"I trust his judgement. I have the right to say I know him longest and I know what kind of a man he is, but a pretty face can blind even the strongest man from the truth.", Mrs Thornton's words were harshly spoken in defence. There was some truth in this young woman's words and it bothered her.

Margaret ignored Mrs Thornton's last words, for she was not going to have a useless discussion about what Mrs Thornton could only describe as the silly fancies of love. They had wounded her, no matter how Margaret tried to overlook them. She decided to come to the point, however. "You wished to speak to me, Mrs Thornton?", Margaret's tone was strong, but not unkind.

Mrs Thornton was silent for a moment, eyeing Miss Hale with a critical look, and then she offered her a chair and sat down herself. Margaret too sat down and waited for a response.

"Yes, Miss Hale. I would like to know why you wish to marry my son.", Mrs Thornton spoke slowly, her eyes almost burning through Margaret. Her jaw tightened, just as Margaret had seen John's do many times before.

It was an easy enough question, but Margaret predicted that the answer would not impress Mrs Thornton much. She had to explain herself fully, tell the truth and hope it would do.

"I love your son.", Margaret looked at Mrs Thornton with sincerity. "I may not have had such a high opinion of him, as I do know now, when I first met him, but I have learned a great deal since then", she was silent for a moment, contemplating her next words. "I honestly did not expect Mr Thornton to propose a second time.. I was sure he had no interest in me anymore and I could not blame him. My own feelings had changed however. I realised I had lost a life before I knew it was the life I wanted. When your son did propose again, I could not help but feel unworthy.."

Margaret saw how Mrs Thornton was about to comment, so she continued with more confidence. "I also felt grateful and happier than I had felt in a long time." The noises that came from the courtyard faded away. "It became clear to me that I want nothing more than to make Mr Thornton happy and I believe it is in my power to do so." Mrs Thornton did not seem impressed. "That is why I wish to marry your son", Margaret added while she was trying to control her nerves.

Mrs Thornton inhaled deeply, as if she needed all the air in her lungs to say what she wanted to say. "And what about that man you were seen with at the station? Have you still no explanation for your reckless behaviour?"