Black Kitten: Hi! I just found out that fanfictionet changed a few things concerning the uploading of documents. I had to format chapters new #glares# and I hope you aren't too confused about it. Now to the good news. I tried to draw a chibi-Schu and makusime posted it on her homepage! I'm sooo happy!
Schu: That should be me?
Black Kitten: #pouts# Makusime said she likes it and finds you cute on it, even if you're a little… colourless.
Schu: BWAHAHAHA!
Black Kitten: #glares# Moron. Hm, to whoever's still curious about how I draw a chibi-Schu, the link to makusime's homepage and the pictures is still on my Personal Site. But be warned, my chibi-Schu is something you have never seen before. #hides#... And now, enjoy, minna-san!
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Disclaimer: To whom it may concern Weiß Kreuz doesn't belong to me. It's the property of Kyoko Tsuchiya and Weiss (if my sources are correct). And I don't make money out of writing this story.
Warnings for this chapter: Poor little Nagi-chan, poor Bradley-poo, poor Aya-bunny, poor KenKen, poor... I think you got it by now. Oh, and there's my own theory why Schu's eye colours are often described as green although they're actually blue in the anime. #sweat drop#
"blah blah" … thoughts… /telepathy/
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Author: Black Kitten's Dream
Title: This is SO not happening!
Part 10
Life is short, and for some creatures even shorter. And one of these unfortunate creatures was the current target of one deadly assassin, and the brutality of this merciless act broke cruelly through the otherwise quiet and peaceful area that surrounded the lake.
"Come here, you... stupid... fish... Schu!... Help me!... Take the left side!... No! The right one!... K'so... For God's sake... Almost!... Temeee... Got it!... Yes! Yes! Yesss!... NOOO!... God damnit... SCHUUU!"
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The quake lasted approximately ten seconds, but for the four assassins in the kitchen it was not less than half an eternity.
When the tremble ebbed away, deafening silence followed and laid itself like a foreboding over the men. And for a few moments it felt like a merciful break before the apocalypse would finally erupt in all its force to destroy everything in its path, until the birds broke through the spell by cheerfully chirping and announced with excitement that the danger was over.
Yohji and Ken breathed a sigh of relief. And though they acted on with their cool behaviour on the outside - their spat wasn't forgotten just because of an earth quake - they spied on each other with short looks to check for any damage the other lover could have had endured by the dangerous experience. Thankfully, no one got hurt.
Satisfied over the well-being of his boyfriend, Yohji reached out to take his mug to replace the spilled liquid when the realization about his reaction to the earth quake struck him like a lightening. Stunned, he stilled in his motion.
He had reacted like a scared rabbit instead of keeping cool and relaxed about it, and this clashed terribly with the attitude he displayed normally. And now, his beloved image of the laidbacked and relaxed Balinese was in jeopardy, and all the little warning bells started to ring like crazy in Yohji's slightly shocked mind.
Well, who could've had witnessed this little faux pas?
He was sure that Ken had been so distracted with saving his own life that he hadn't noticed it. But what about Schwarz? It would be utterly mortifying for him if they had witnessed it, and there was only one possibility to solve this nasty problem. It was time for a good old Kudou-investigation.
Taking in a casual position by leaning back in his seat, Yohji raised his arms over his head and began to stretch lazily. Carefully, he glanced through half-lidded eyes at the leader of Schwarz. Crawford sat unchanged at the table, head propped up on his left hand, eyes still closed. Good, Oracle hadn't witnessed it. Yohji was utterly relieved that the leader of Schwarz was totally unaware about his awkward situation. Now to Berserker.
Carefully to not attract any attention, Yohji stretched his arms a little wider and slowly turned to the other Schwarz member who was still sitting on the work-top, though, he was sure that the chances that the completely impulse driven madman with the funny high-pitched war-cry actually had the brains to notice the faux pas with his crazy little mind were rather... slim... Oh shit.
One golden eye stared derisively down at him and the broad smirk on the scarred face was unmistakable.
Horrified, Yohji stared back into the mocking golden eye until he felt his pride bristle and a strong wave of irritation washed over him. Not only had the madman the nerve to form a friendship with his Ken - and who knows what else they had done behind the closed door - Berserker was now also sneering at him openly.
Yohji's eyes narrowed in anger when the smirk on the scarred face grew even larger until it threatened to split it in half.
Oh, no, this little freak will not interfere, not anymore.
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Still standing in the doorway to the kitchen, Ken inspected the surprisingly little damage the quake had left in its way. Beside the spilled coffee on the table, only a few cups, dishes, and other kitchen items lay on the floor, and for some miracle nothing was broken.
Now it was time to clean up the mess, but after throwing one look at the others, Ken was sure that they wouldn't be a great help in this task. Not with an apparently deeply sleeping Crawford, and certainly not with Yohji who was glaring at Farfarello as if the Schwarz member had been the cause of the tremble.
Leaning against the doorframe, Ken observed his boyfriend critically. What the hell was wrong with him? Normally, Yohji was a very convivial companion without any prejudices and had no problems with starting new friendships. And even if Farfarello was Schwarz and distrust was not only advisable but also very healthy, he had proven over the night that he wasn't the insane killer as they had thought of him.
Ken made a face. Yohji should just talk to Farfarello instead of glaring like a stubborn donkey. Well, maybe it was time for Yohji and himself to talk privately about why the older man was acting so strangely and irrational since Schwarz had entered their home. Maybe then Yohji would finally see that Farfarello hasn't been doing anything to deserve such treatments, at least not in the last couple of hours, and that it definitely wasn't in the Irishman's power to produce an earthquake.
And for whoever thought otherwise, it was high time to make an appointment with a psychiatrist.
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Aya sat dripping wet from the wild chase through the water on the lakeside and looked a little unsure at his prize in front of him. His high about the successful hunt had already vanished into thin air and the hard fact of reality had finally caught up with him. Aya hadn't really expected a shout of joy from his lover about his successful chase, but he wished he would be confronted with emotions he could actually deal with, like anger or, at least, a mortally offended reaction. But not with the silence Schuldig treated him. Carefully, Aya lifted his eyes and glanced through his bangs at the too silent Schwarz member in front of him.
The young German sat with his knees pulled up against his chest, staring blankly at the deceased creature between them. Slowly, as if he feared to scare away the fish with all-too fast movements, Schuldig took a small branch and poked the lifeless form a few times. He withdrew again with a barely noticeable sigh and wrapped his arms around his legs with his chin resting on the knees.
And blank emerald eyes continued to stare at the fish and the silence went on.
Aya couldn't stand it anymore and chose to explain why he had chased after the fish instead of making love.
"Schu, I didn't run away from you, honestly."
Emerald eyes lifted, and this time the blank stare was directed at him. Ignoring the upcoming unpleasant feeling, Aya continued, convinced that Schuldig would understand the rationality of it and accept it like any other normal grown-up would do.
"Schu, I swear this has nothing to do with me being uke. I reacted completely instinctively. And if you would just look at it like it is in its logical complexity, then you would see that it's in the nature of the man to hunt when he is hungry and..." Aya trailed off when the blank look turned into an accusing one. Shifting a little and clearing his throat, he tried it again.
"I think I remember that I even read some other time that this instinct even stands above reproduction. Fascinating, isn't it? Not that there would be any chance for us to reproduce ourselves... With both of us being males... But that's good, ne? I mean, who of us would get pregnant and would take over the mother role? Not that you wouldn't look kawaii with a child in your arms. And with those long hairs of yours..."
The accusing eyes narrowed, and now, Aya was not only confronted with silence but also with a more than angry look. Nervously, he tucked some strands of hair behind his ear when something odd caught his eyes. Surprised, Aya leaned slightly forward and stared into his lover's eyes.
Schuldig's green eyes were speckled blue?
And it could be a hallucination, but it definitely looked as if the blue dots were increasing in their amount and were slowly taking over the green ones. Fascinated and distracted by this discovery, Aya continued in a slow voice.
"Schu, about my escape... I mean hunt... I just want to say that... Do you know that your eyes are turning blue?"
Without doubt Schuldig was aware of it, because he remained completely unaffected by this sensational discovery, if Aya interpreted the glare correctly. Feeling a little desperate about his lover's refusal to talk to him, Aya laughed softly and kept on talking light-hearted to overplay the German's killing glance.
"So, it's good that we're human males and not... snails, ne? Otherwise, we would be hermaphrodites and we... would impregnate each other. There would be hundreds of little baby... snails... And the sex would be all slimy... and... That would be a... mess."
Am I crazy? Aya was shocked beyond words and completely aghast about his speech. He knew that he wasn't the king of small-talk, but what for the world had ridden him to compare their sex-life with that of snails? Forcing a smile onto his lips, he watched helplessly as his lover's features changed from angry into an utterly unbelieving one, and back again into the murderous glare.
And when Schuldig's dangerously narrowed eyes even turned into slits, Aya gulped and looked back at the fish between them, desperately thinking of a way to calm the young German. Maybe he could distract him with some endearments. According to Yohji, females are very receptive to it. And Schuldig was indeed a sensitive person, so why shouldn't it work for him, too? So, all he had to do was--
The top of a small branch pushed into his visual field and nudged the fish a few centimetres in his direction. What followed turned his stomach into a tight knot.
"Eat."
Shocked, Aya stared at the fish for a few seconds before he answered in a very small voice. "But... it's raw."
"Do tell."
Aya cringed at the deadpan reply. "Schu, I--"
"Think of it as sashimi." (1)
Horrified, he watched as a small fly made its way straight onto the fish where it landed near the open eye. He was happy that Schuldig was talking to him again, but he couldn't believe that he would be so cruel to demand such a thing. There must be another way to--
"Eat it or be uke for the rest of your life."
Aya stared at the small fly with wide open eyes and watched numbly as it started to suck enthusiastically around the fish's eye with its tiny trunk. And suddenly, the whole stress and pressure of the previous hours washed over him like a big wave and left him drained, very tired, and very dazed.
When Aya slowly reached out to take the fish, his mind was muzzy. And when he directed the lifeless creature inclusive the stubbornly remaining fly to his mouth, he did it in a state of trance, and only one word echoed through his otherwise empty mind like a mantra intensified by the rhythm of an imaginary prayer wheel.
Uke... Uke... Uke... Uke...
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Crawford wasn't asleep, contrary to the speculations of the others and his own urgent need to give his mind and body some rest. With his eyes closed, he calmly thought about the current situation and came to the conclusion that he's had enough of all the spats and childish quarrels. He was determined to bring some order into the chaos.
Nagi's earthquake-like reaction to whatever had happened to him or Tsukiyono was enough warning to put an end to it before any real damage would be done. And after some consideration, he came to a decision he should have made long time before this had started to slip out off his hands.
Abyssinian, the young leader of Weiss, was absent. So, naturally it was his right to take over the leadership of Kritiker's assassin group. It was time to show them his authority and to demand the necessary respect he deserved from Weiss and his own colleagues. Firmly planting his hands on the table, he stood up in one smooth motion and cleared his throat loudly to draw the others attention at him.
Balinese regarded him with a short and utterly annoyed look before turning his glare back at Berserker. Farfarello's reaction wasn't any better, he simply choose to ignore him totally.
Frowning at the disrespect, Brad turned to the last remaining member in the kitchen to glare some respect into him when a strange light behind Hidaka caught his attention. Crawford only needed three seconds to figure out the cause and meaning of the light and quickly stepped back until his back hit the wall painfully. His harsh spoken words broke clearly through the silence.
"Oh crap."
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Ken was gazing thoughtfully at Yohji when goose bumps started to appear on his arms and the fine hair rose up. Distracted, he started to rub his arms until the very Crawford-unlike swearword brought him out of his musings. His eyes darted to the normally very collected Schwarz leader.
Crawford was standing open-mouthed and stared unbelievingly in his direction. Frowning at the strange behaviour of the Schwarz leader, Ken continued to rub his arms a few times absently when an appreciative whistle came from Farfarello's direction.
Berserker was looking at him like he was the living incarnation of jack-in-the-box; his scarred face a mixture of surprise and utter admiration. But what got him finally thinking that something could be very wrong was his own boyfriend. Goggling in his direction, Yohji's words were far from being comforting.
"Fuck."
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"I don't believe it. You would have really eaten the fish?"
Schuldig was staring at Aya with laughing eyes, fascinated about what his lover would have done if he hadn't prevented it. He had reacted in time and had snapped the fish out off Aya's hand to throw it back into the sea where it belonged, and where a merciful goddess could grant it with a second chance. (2)
And now, the Weiss assassin sat blushing before him, eyes hidden behind his crimson bangs. When Schuldig reached up and stroke the hair out off Aya's face to take a better look at him, deeply ashamed eyes peered back.
"I would have, wouldn't I?"
The soft-spoken words showed him how perplex Aya was about his own action. Schuldig watched carefully as Aya started to rub over his face with both hands, and noticed the tired look and the slow movements of the Weiss leader. There was no denying that both of them needed some downtime, and the desire for this disastrous mission to finally come to an end was stronger than ever before.
Schuldig knew it wouldn't be fair to tease Aya about it when he himself hadn't been in a better condition after the panda incident. Therefore, he decided to let the subject drop and simply pulled his lover into his arms in a comforting gesture. It was a nice and peaceful feeling after the nerve-racking events, and Schuldig sighed softly to show how pleasant it was for him. When he reached up to gently stroke through the fine crimson hair, Aya snuggled further into his embrace and snatched a few long orange strands to play with them.
"Schu, about your eye colour... Green and blue?"
"It's a reaction I get when I'm... very angry."
"Your emotional life is mirrored in your eyes like... with a barometer?"
"Hm? Yes, something like that."
"Practical." Smiling, Aya looked amused up at him. "Are there any other surprises I should know about?"
"Nope. That's all." Grinning, Schuldig leaned down to Aya's ear and added in a husky and very promising voice, "For now. But wait until you lie under me, trembling and mewling like a newborn kitten, ready to be taken, begging me to get fu--"
A sharp elbow in his ribs was the painful response he got from his lover for his erotic promise. Wincing, Schuldig shifted a little to the side to avert further sanctions against him, and when he felt that Aya was completely relaxed again he placed a tender kiss on the younger man's temple.
"Tell me, Aya, are you really that afraid of being bottom?"
"No. Not when you're riding me."
Aya's attempt to overplay his embarrassment by joking was rather cute and Schuldig preferred this anytime to the snappy or harsh reactions the younger assassin normally displayed. Tightening the embrace to show Aya how much he was in love with him, Schuldig pressed his face into the neck to nuzzle him affectionately. After a few silent minutes where both enjoyed the tenderness, Aya sighed, wrapped the orange hair around his hand, and demanded with a tug his attention.
"I'm hungry, Schu."
"I'm hungry, too, Aya. The moment we're back home I'll make you the best ramen you have ever eaten."
"Home. That sounds nice. Say, Schu, what's Schwarz like?"
Schuldig hm-ed and made a thoughtful face. "Lets see. We're... freaky, reckless bastards. Cold-blooded. Heartless. Ruthless. Merciless. We are... almost God-like. Yes, God-like sounds good. Oh, and we were this close to conquer the world and for me to make you my will-less sex-slave ready to fulfil every wi-- Ouch! Don't tug on my hair so strong. That hurts."
"Then you should try it with some seriousness." Aya smiled benignly up at him and tugged again to remind him that he was in charge right now. "Estet has fallen and Schwarz is official dead to the world. Precisely, we're not enemies anymore and I want to know what family comes with the bride."
"The bride, huh? You don't give up, do you? Let's wait and see who's going to wear the dress at our wedding after I've screwed you senseless-- AHHH! Let go of my hair!"
"No sidetracking, Schu. We were talking about your family."
"Oh, no. You were the one who simply averted my question about your quite evident and almost on panic bordering fear of being ukeee-- OW! You're still brutal, you know that? Okay, okay! I give up. Back to my family."
Schuldig sighed in defeat while Aya settled back against him again and continued to stroke with his fingers through the orange strands.
"Okay, let's begin with Brad Crawford the Oracle. You know about his visions, through them he has the ultimate power to control the future. He's always a few steps ahead, nothing can surprise or unsettle him. He's invincible with his gift. And he's an incredible strategist and a rationalist to the core. His flawlessness is almost frightening. He's a perfectionist and very professional. Short, he's the perfect leader. You wouldn't find a better one even if you search the entire universe... Yes, Aya, you're a great leader, too. And would you be so nice and let go of my hair? Thank you."
Aya was all teeth as he smiled up at him and Schuldig could clearly see the annoyance in his eyes about his apparently too enthusiastic characterization of the Schwarz leader. He made a mental note to not adore Brad's competencies in Aya's present in future talks. He didn't want to run the risk of having a bald head before he was turning twenty-three.
"Well, let's drop Brad in order to save my precious hair and go straight to Berserker. That would be Jei, although he goes by the name of Dante's Inferno Farfarello... Er, forget it. It's not that important. Hm, Farfie's hard to describe. He's very intelligent… Don't snort, Aya. It's true! The biggest mistake you can make is to let yourself be fooled by his madman appearance and to underestimate his intelligence. I wouldn't want him as my enemy, not for all in the world. But as long as you can keep him interested and his funny side occupied, you're on the save side. Oh, and I really, really love him--... Like a brother!... LIKE A BROTHER!"
Schuldig quickly snapped his hair out of the cruel hand and threw it back over the shoulder out off Aya's reach. "Gods, at least let me finish my sentences before you rip out my hair. Didn't know you're that jealous."
He wouldn't believe it if he didn't see it with his own eyes. Abyssinian actually managed to look angelic and at the same time fluttered his lashes at him flirtatiously. It looked somewhat ridiculous. Suppressing a growl at Aya's more than unsuccessful innocent act, Schuldig smacked him over the head playfully and threw a stern look at his now openly grinning lover.
"You're enjoining this to no end, aren't you? Okay, last member. And I hope you're not accusing me of being a paedophile right now because Nagi is fifteen, and I'm definitely not into little kids. Fine. Nagi's our youngest member, as you know. Cute little kid. Very intelligent, has already skipped two classes. He's completely loyal and never talks back. He's far from being a rebellious teenager, if anything he's quite reserved. Never screams, never yells, doesn't bitch or even swear. He's always polite."
Aya made a disbelieving face as if he couldn't believe the existence of such a glorious teenager.
"Always? Not even once?"
Schuldig shook his head.
"You know those pictures where little bunnies are nibbling on little carrots they're holding in their tiny paws and they're looking back at you with their huge trusty-hearted saucer-eyes? That's Nagi."
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"YOU FUCKIN' SON OF A BITCH!"
Nagi was fuming, literally boiling with rage as he stood in the doorway to the kitchen. His power was raging through his veins like an uncontrolled feral beast that threatened to pour itself out to slash at everything that stood in its way. It had manifested itself into lurid blue and orange flames that were wildly dancing around his body as if they had a life on their own, and they clashed terribly with his red gleaming eyes.
The young telekinetic hadn't felt such a fury since Tot's death and he could barely restrain his power. He was on the brink to just unleash it and destroy everything in a gruesome eruption and he knew, one word, only one teeny-weeny word and he would explode into a--
"Beagle? Why do you have Beagle written on your forehead, Prodigy?"
There was a moment of deafening silence before something terribly spiky cruelly stabbed into Nagi's right temple and blinding light flashed through his mind, leaving him sightless for a few seconds. He almost missed the two sharp intakes of breath and one amused grunt, but when the fog finally cleared and the loud rush in his ears vanished again he could clearly hear the frantic shouts.
"Are you crazy, Ken?"
"Silence your fucking boyfriend, Balinese, or I'll shoot him on the spot!"
"Woo-hoo! Way to go, Kenny-boy!"
Gritting his teeth, Nagi managed to ignore Siberian and his stupid, stupid question and stepped alarmingly slow past the now very silent and sheepishly looking Weiss member towards the in excitement grinning Irishman; flames still lashing around him. When Nagi spoke again, his voice couldn't be described other than a low animal snarl.
"You… asshole. You… son of a bitch."
Fixating Berserker with his eerie red gleaming eyes, Nagi came to a stop in the middle of the kitchen and lifted his right hand. The meaning of this gesture was unmistakeable for the other assassins, the young telekinetic was about to use his gift. And they reacted immediately.
Crawford drew out his gun. Yohji jumped up from the chair, deadly wire in his hands. Farfarello quickly got his hidden knife out of his boot, and Ken… Well, Ken just stood there and watched the whole scene with wide open eyes, trying to understand what was going on.
All in all, they were more or less determined to defend themselves and were ready to fight for their lives when Nagi activated his power with a small but quick motion of his hand.
For a short moment the tension in the kitchen was unbearable. Until a high and terrific piercing shriek sounded through the house and got louder and louder until a screeching Omi flew with frightening speed and frantically waving arms past a gaping Siberian into the kitchen where he stopped abruptly in his flight to remain floating in the air at Nagi's side.
Four jaws hung low.
The flames got up one more time as Nagi pointed accusingly at his floating and in fear whimpering boyfriend and yelled like a banshee.
"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO MY OMIIIEEE--… E EEE?… EEE?… Eee?… e. e. e."
The flames collapsed instantly and Omi fell ungracefully with a scream down to the floor where he remained moaning. Startled, Nagi reached up and touched his throat. He tried to speak again, but instead of his normal, boyish voice a sound came out that sounded awfully like the squeaking of a rubber duck.
Dropping his arm in stunned amazement, Nagi became aware of the whole extend. He had overstrained his vocal cords and now had no voice anymore. And there was no German telepath around to help him out. What he actually had was a painted ladybug on his nose, Beagle written on his forehead, and a green boyfriend on the floor. And a pitiless Berserker who was well known for his mercilessness.
Falling to his knees, Nagi screamed out in agony about the outrageous injustice that was called his life.
"EEEEEEE!" (3)
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Farfarello loved Nagi like a brother, and a long time ago he had sworn to himself that he would never make too much fun of him when the young boy would experience the glorious time called puberty. Puberty alone could be traumatic, with all the nasty concomitants like zits, change of voice, or sudden erections. So he had fixed a limit for teasing the boy during this nasty period.
But the picture of Nagi breaking his voice in such a dramatic moment was too much.
Farfarello was laughing so hysterically that tears were running down his face. His body bended forward due to the constant and strong contractions of his abdominal muscles, and he fell helplessly from the worktop down to the floor. Farfarello couldn't feel any pain, but he knew he had to stop or he would piss himself laughing. Lying on the back with tightly shut eye, he bit on the lower lip and tried to concentrate until only a few giggles were bubbling up his throat.
Taking in a deep breath, he relaxed and turned his head to sound out the situation. Nagi was the picture of pure misery, his revenge on the boy had been a complete success. He was glad he hadn't overdone it in order to satisfy his desire for revenge. The actual idea had been to write 'BITCH' on the sleeping boy's forehead, but after the 'B' and 'I' and a short fit of morality, he had realized that this would be too drastical and had changed it last-minute into 'BEAGLE'. Nagi could thank him later for this good deed.
Ah, and Tsukiyono! Farfarello had to admit that he had been shocked for about three seconds when the youngest Weiss member had come flying into the kitchen. Bombay's appearance had surpassed his expectation by far. It had been his intention to screw with the boy's hair as he had replaced the shampoo with the hair tinting lotion he had found in the bathroom, but never in his life had he thought about the possibility that the lotion would not only colour Omi's hair, but also the places where it had run down, like the face or the hands he had used to wash his hair with. And all of it was now shining in lime-green.
Closing his eye, Farfarello folded his arms behind his head and simply waited for the fun to continue. And he didn't have to wait long.
"Omi? Why are you green? You look like a huge watermelon."
Ah, Kenny-boy. You can count on him anytime.
"Are you telling me that I'm fat?"
Hm, to hear the always calm Tsukiyono growling was interesting.
"Nani? No! I just could have said that you're looking like a... Martian, or... a frog!"
Oh, yes, you have to love this boy.
"Thanks a lot, Ken, for your heart-warming sympathy about my ridiculous state by making fun of it!"
Yep, a snarling Tsukiyono was interesting, too.
"I didn't mean it like that, Omi! I just wanted to--"
"Ohayoo, minna...san..." (4)
Oh great God of war and destruction, life was great.
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tbc
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(1) Sashimi is with plain raw fish. Sushi is with rice.
(2) I once found a cricket on the bottom of my boyfriend's swimming pool. Soft-hearted as I was (and still am), I rescued it by fishing it out of the water, and to my utter surprise it started to move again after a few minutes (the length of time is optional). The story is totally nice until it gets to the part where I noticed that it had a damaged leg. Actually, the leg was missing most of the lower parts. And this was the point where I started to think if my action really had been merciful or if the cricket hadn't been luckier deep down in the water... Gomen ne, little cricket. #sweat drop#
(3) Translation of Nagi's desperate cry: "NOOOOOO!"
(4) Confused? Sorry, but the mystery of whoever was walking blissfully ignorant into the chaos will be solved in the next chapter. I had to stop at this point or I would've never finished this chapter.
Schu: #snorts# You'll never finish this story at this rate.
Black Kitten: #cringes# But… there're others who aren't faster than me. For example… #points at Gunning Angel#
Schu: Ah, I remember. We were on this island, it was raining and Aya was sooo cute. #dreamy eyes#
Black Kitten: Gomen nasai, Gunning Angel, but I had to distract SchuSchu. #hugs# You've no idea how unsure I was whether the panda incident would be too much. But in hindsight with all the OOC going on, I think it was the right decision. And this time it was Aya who had to suffer, but that's only fair after he had abandoned poor Schu and left him alone with his #cough# not so small problem. But what's with Travel to Paradise? There're only a few SchuxAya stories out there so I'm waiting for an update! Have mercy with a poor fangirl who's addicted to our beloved carrot-head.
Schu: #rambles on#… and then Aya cried and I held him in my strong arms… and we kissed… and we … #frowns# Wait a sec, we didn't even kiss in this chapter.
Aya: Yes, and she almost made me eat a raw fish!
Black Kitten: Come on, Aya, you're Japanese! You love raw fish!
Aya: #shudders# But the fly... oh Gods... the fly...
Black Kitten: That was... extra protein. #cough#... Zanzahra. Mah, danke! Regarding your quote 'I've created a monster', for me, Aya is full of suppressed emotions but once they're coming to the surface... Oh la la! #giggles#... Say, why don't you just write a story? I already have a great idea for you regarding the pairing. It's completely unusual. You'll never guess it. It's … AyaxSchu!
Schu: Now she's raving crazy. What's so sensational about it?
Black Kitten: #grins# You would be uke in it. Through the whole story!
Schu: OO
Aya: #huge smile#
Black Kitten: Skeren Dreamera. #hugs# Thank you! I visualized the panda incident and thought of it as completely cute so I had to write it down. And I love to torture Schu until his devil-may-care facade's breaking. About Farfie, for now it seems that he's pulling the strings and is getting his revenge. Nagi and Omi are already down. Brad still has to suffer. And Ken and Yohji, oh my, what can I say. They just make the wonderful experience to get to know Berserker in all his glory. Oh, and I've got a scanner and even try to make pictures of Schu once in a while but my drawings are... #breaks down and cries bitterly#
Farfie: #cackles# I've seen them and if I wouldn't be so sane I would say those hurt God enormously.
Black Kitten: Erm, let's change to something more pleasurable than my drawings. OH MY GOD! I totally forgot to review your story! That's so embarrassing because I like it. Please forgive me. #deeply ashamed# I love how you write Schu and Duo and I whished you would pair them up. Maybe there's a chance? #puppy eyes# Believe me they would be perfect for each other. And to see Duo's darker side instead of the fun making jester is always refreshing. Argh, I should write the review instead of babbling about it.
Schu: Duo? Oh, yes. That would be nice for a change.
Aya: Pardon me? You... cheater! You would leave me for... him? #points at Duo#
Duo: #confused# What happened? Where am I? Heero?... HEEEEEROOOOO!
Black Kitten: Oh my, maybe a threesome could solve this problem.
Wufei: #sits crying in a corner# Nobody loves meeee!
Black Kitten: OO... I would say from now on that's... Skeren Dreamera's problem. #hides#... Hope500. Hoooopie! #cuddles# Oh my, your review was... #huge smile#... Let's say I had a hard time to decipher your German... and it was FUN! No, really, I love you for this. I once read a story which was translated from English into German through Babelfish. Gods, I had SO much fun reading the story. It was even funnier than the humour in the original English script, and that says a lot.
Schu: It's a first, but I have to agree with her that Babelfish is an evil, evil tool. Hands off, minna-san!
Black Kitten: Hope, about your question concerning Nagi's earthquake-like power eruption... gawd, what a sentence #sweatdrops#... I think you got your answer in this chapter.
Nagi: EEEEEE!
Black Kitten: Hush, it's over and everything's alright. Poor little bishie. Hope will comfort you, ne, Hope?
Nagi: Sniff. #runs into Hope's arms#
Black Kitten: Mah, sooo cute... Gamegirl28. The Evil Wand of Make-Everyone-Else-Do-What-I-Command?... YAAAAAY!
Weiss & Schwarz: AAAAAH!
Black Kitten: #excited# Is it a magic wand? Are there coming tiny twinkling stars out of the tip if I make a movement such like--
Weiss & Schwarz: NOOOOO!
#pooph#
Black Kitten: Ooops, too late...
Weiss & Schwarz: #naked#
Black Kitten: OO... Oh... my... #blinks#... That's... THANK YOU SO MUCH, GAMEGIRL!
Weiss & Schwarz: #runs off frantically in search for clothes#
Black Kitten: #shakes head# Prudes. Ah, Gamegirl, thanks for your gift! I'll make good use of it. #hugs#... Well, Schu had his panda and Aya has his... fish. Oh, and just ignore Brad. He's a little out of it since Farfie started his revenge. Poor Oracle, I bet he never foresaw this.
Brad: #glares#
Black Kitten: I knew it!... Angel Hoshi1. Oh yes, OH YES. Aya's such a cutie and with his cute little glares he reminds me of Heero. Hm, but then Schu would be Duo. Nah, better not. And Aya can run as far as he may but he certainly will lose his virginity. Upon my life!
Weiss & Schwarz: #prepare weapons and discuss how to silence authoress for once and for all#
Black Kitten: #gulps# Uhm, sometimes I totally forget that they're assassins. But they're all sooo kawaii in their attempt to be professionals.
Weiss & Schwarz: #outraged# We ARE professionals!
Black Kitten: Er... right... makusime. #hugs and cuddles# I wuv you! Ah, me so happy. I hope you aren't disappointed about this chapter because there isn't much action... again. But I'll make it up to you with a nice SchuxAya lemon. You just have to wait two or three more chapters until they're at home. I wouldn't want to let Aya have his first time in a dirty forest.
Schu: WHAT? But my first time was good enough for it?
Black Kitten: But it was romantic, wasn't it?
Schu: Without lube?
Black Kitten: oo;;... I'll... make it up to you with a nice lemon in which you are uke with lube, okay?
Schu: #sniffs# Okay.
Black Kitten: Aw, Schu just agreed to be uke!
Schu: OO... I can't believe I fell for this trap.
Black Kitten: Oh, but you did. #grin# ... And you're so right, makusime. Aya in character isn't much fun. He's just so cranky sometimes. #shudders# Oh, and my offer to write a gift fic for you still stands. Just tell me your favourite pairing and the genre.
Weiss & Schwarz: #fall to their knees and pray fervently# Please don't let her choose me... please... Please... PLEASE!
Black Kitten: Spoil sports... Koji-chan. #g# Thank you. I hope you found some amusing parts in this chapter too and you could laugh about it. Personally, I loved the panda incident because I can image it perfectly in my mind. And who wouldn't think of a little panda as a cute cuddling teddy-bear? And before you start, yes, I know the fly on the fish's eye was disgusting.
Aya: #shocked#... fish... fly... on... fish...
Black Kitten: It was just a teeny-weeny fly... more a midge ... one blink and you would miss it... or so... Miss Reika... oo... You're an authoress too? Gawd, that's embarrassing... (2 minutes later)... Uhm, I'm not exactly a master of computers but I couldn't find any stories. Search machine is down #glares# and on fanfictionnet are zero results. Maybe you've another pen name other than Cieraco? About your review and Aya's frantic attempt to avoid being uke, for me, he's just as much seme as Schu. Maybe there's the fear of loosing his masculinity if he takes the submissive part, but it could also be due to his childhood where he had some trauma triggering experiences with his great-grandmother's half-stepsister's brother of her sister-in law cousin--
Schu: Gods, now she's even trying to copy Sigmund Freud. #shudders#
Black Kitten: Oh, yes, Siggi, nice little old man. Where was I? Ah, yes... Lilevilbunni. Thank you so mu--... WHAT?... Aya is NOT sexier than Schu! Aya's like a daisy compared to Schu's exotic and drop-dead gorgeous... petals... Erm... What was it I was going to say? #completely confused#
Schu: #amazed# I can't believe it but that's the second time I actually agree with you.
Aya: #pouts# I'm not a daisy.
Black Kitten: Wow, that got me so upset... however... Lilevilbunni, feel free to spank Aya. He likes a good spanking once in a while.
Aya: NANI?
Black Kitten: You do, my dear. I know it. You're just too shy to admit it... Mimma. Oh, thank you. It's almost too much praise but... it's heart-warming and I love it and I would be an idiot if I would disagree. #hugs# I hope you weren't disgusted about the fish… fly… whatever.
Aya: ... Fi... Fi...
Black Kitten: #rolls eyes# I already know it was a shock for you. Just get over it already... Kyra2. #g# Yes, poor lil' SchuSchu, but in this chapter it was Aya's turn to be tortured. And I'll give it my whole energy that they won't forget their adventure. Ever. #grins# And Crawford certainly has a problem with showing his authority. Poor guy, it must be terrible to demand attention and nobody's interested. But I like Brad too much so in the end... Ah, you'll see. #giggles#
Farfie: #narrows eye suspiciously# What do you mean?
Black Kitten: #whistles innocently# I've absolutely nooo idea what you're talking about. That's all for today. I hope you all enjoyed it. 'Till next time!