The last Seeker

Author: Arken

Translate by: Taipan Kiryu

Note: I´m very grateful for your help my friend, this fic it´s dedicated to Taipan Kiryu

Chapter 10: Trust

Trust is expensive. It takes time, effort and sacrifice to reach, so hard to get and so easy to lose or forget.

Time had come. There was no place for retreat.

My allies walked beside me, injured and exhausted. I wondered what went through their minds, why they followed me without a question. Did they think I could offer them a better future? Maybe they just thought they couldn't end worst.

Fatalism shouldn't have been part of my programming, but still sometimes it was very difficult to see the Universe otherwise, especially after everything we have been through. I would've liked to have some positive point of view about our situation, but then again, none of us was ever distinguished for being optimist.

Time goes by with a purpose, leaving behind things impossible to forget. That creates our character, makes us the individuals we become, but also leaves eternal scars.

In my case, those scars are easy to track. Megatron was the key of my trust and my faith. He twisted everything. How could he expect me to be the perfect soldier when respect never existed among us? How could he want me to obey silently every command he gave me if I was no blind to the miscalculations and failures? How could he want my loyalty if he justified his defeats by ridiculing me?

Megatron… if only you had seen the truth. There was a time in which I would have given you everything. I would have died to serve you and the Decepticon cause, but at the end we just couldn't go on the way we were, we both knew…

I raised my hand, glancing at my new red color. I still wasn't used. For many millenniums those hands were blue. My body had changed too, but not from inside. The same liquid ran through my systems, the origin of life, the same energon each one of us would've gave all for you, Megatron…

Who was I to judge you? After all, I shared every one of your sins. There was no space anymore for forgiveness, only for war… for the freedom we wanted so much.

Megatron, my leader, I have understood many things. I learned through the most savage and brutal way. I knew I couldn't follow your steps, neither fulfill your caprices. Those times were in the past, buried, along with your sanity and the respect we once shared.

My thoughts died inside my mind, saying goodbye to everything that once mattered, to everything that once hurt. But as I walked along my new companions, I realized it was all over. It was time to start again.

They trusted me, gave me a privilege. I couldn't fail them. Not again.

No more strategy retreats, no more running away of failure… We would face our destiny and prove we didn't belong to the ones who inhabited Charr.

--

I could hear Octane walking behind me. My comrade, my friend… he had stayed with me no matter what. I was thankful, he had gained my trust.

"Why are you so thoughtful?" Octane said, putting his hand on my shoulder. He was careful not to touch any of my wounds.

"An interesting group we are," I said as I glanced at the mechs who were already my responsibility. An uncommon group, but united somehow.

"Indeed," the Triplechanger answered with some sort of pride in his voice. If he would have known half of the time all I could think about was running away…

"You seem inspired," he continued, trying to engage in conversation.

"There's something I have to tell you. I couldn't tell you before, but I need you to know." I needed to find the exact words to express Octane what was in my mind.

"First take this," he said, offering me a cube of energon. "The others already had their ration," he rapidly continued, to avoid me from questioning him. Very deep inside of me I couldn't help but smile. Octane seemed to know me better every moment.

"I don't need it," I replied as I rejected the cube. "This energon can be useful later for…" I was unable to continue speaking, watching the sad look on his face, his anxiety…

"You need it, Starscream, more than anybody else here. You say you are alright, you imagine we haven't realized… Probably you succeeded with the others but not with me. I know exactly what is going on."

"I don't know what the slag you are talking about, Octane!" I angrily replied, walking away from him. I hated the way he could read through me. I hated he was worried about me. That remembered me about past times that I only wanted to forget. It was better to leave the past behind. Looking forward was my priority.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. I'll tell you something, though. You may be a great warrior and strategist, but you will fall from your pedestal if you don't take precautions or advice," he pressured, reaching me again.

The energon cube was placed firmly against my face again. Octane was firm and strong. "You are useless to us dead, Starscream."

He was right, I knew it. Without a proper refuel, I would only be an obstacle. The objective was clear: getting out of that place, escaping no matter where. A new life was waiting for us far away from that planet.

Time had come for me to prove the existence of my new ability to trust.

I grabbed the cube and began to drink the energon. The taste was slightly rare, but I was sure my starvation was the one to blame. My systems relaxed, grateful. Distress, fatigue, and hunger were killing me, and feeling the energon going through my structure was like paradise.

I could feel clearly the energy activating my numb circuits. Also my radars and weapons started to recover slowly, until a slight dizziness arrived.

"What…?" I muttered as I analyzed the empty cube. "High grade…" I confirmed as I identified the dumbness, the lack of orientation…

"My last reserve. I was keeping it for a special occasion," Octane calmly replied.

I stared at him, as angry as disappointed. High grade, high grade! Why, why now? Didn't Octane know what he had done? I had trusted in him; I considered him a comrade, a friend… I felt betrayed, just like in the old times…. hurt, lonely…

"I trusted you," I whispered, confused, trying desperately to stabilize. My inner alarms activated showing a small overcharge in my systems.

"I trusted you…" I repeated as my strength began to fail, my weakness revealing.

"I'm sorry, Starscream, but I knew if I could achieve the miracle of convincing you to drink some energon, I had to seize the opportunity. I thought high grade would help you to recover faster," he explained as I was trying to maintain my balance.

Unconsciously I leaned on him. I felt so betrayed and I didn't want to depend on him at all, but in my current state standing on my own was impossible.

"You have no idea of…" I stammered but the words got lost inside my mind. "Damn, Octane… that's why… that's why…" I tried to express my anger but it was so difficult with the high grade doing its job.

Anybody would have thought I was a bad drinker, but the fact that my systems were exhausted and overworked made impossible to keep myself together.

My structure gave up fighting and allowed the high grade to enter my deepest areas. I was about to enter recharge mode and there was nothing I could do to prevent it.

"I trusted in you…" I said again, my voice almost imperceptible.

"I know," I heard his voice from somewhere very far away. "But don't worry, Starscream. Everything will be fine. I won't abandon you, neither the others. Just recharge peacefully."

I didn't want to rest, I couldn't. Time was precious, but in my state I couldn't afford to sustain another battle. I gave up finally and stopped fighting my own body, allowing it to enter in a deep recharge, not without asking a last question.

"Why…?"

A simple question could hurt more than a thousand words, a question that completely revealed my betrayed trust.

--

Octane's POV.

I knew what I did wouldn't exactly improve my friendship with Starscream. He would probably hate me when he came on line again. After listening to his last question I regretted my action and reprimanded myself. I knew I had done the right thing. It was for his own sake. He had pressured himself above the bearable and there was only one way out, though the price to pay had been too high.

It had been hard to gain some of his trust. That was precisely why I had wanted to help him. But why was I feeling so miserable, then?

Starscream was stubborn, maybe too much. That would drive him to destruction sooner or later. He hated to be target of compassion; he couldn't stand a good friend actually caring for him. He had his reasons, but I couldn't help to worry about him.

When we started this journey, he let clear his point. I accepted but I couldn't be that cold.

I'm a Decepticon, I shouldn't care. But I couldn't help it.

Slowly, I carried Starscream and took him to the rest of our team.

You won't disappoint them, my friend…. not as long as you have my support. Even though you hate me, I won't give up.

Our guide rested in my arms, the one we had chosen as our leader.

I know you are tired, Starscream. You have abused of yourself in unthinkable ways. I won't allow it. I know the responsibility you feel toward all of us forbids you to rest, but if we survived before we can do it again. Perhaps you won't forgive me for betraying your trust, but I needed to do it… for you and for them…

Swindle was staring at me. Beside him, Blitzwing, Dead End and Breakdown were in recharge mode.

The Combaticon stood up and faced me. Unlike the others, he knew exactly what had happened.

"I'll take your place tonight," he said as he walked away to guard us.

I felt grateful. There were things us Decepticons could never be able to do. Thanking was one of them.

--

Flashback.

I glanced at the liquid inside the cube.

"What is that, Octane?" Swindle rhetorically asked, completely aware of what I had between my hands. Discretion was never one of his qualities.

"Energon," I replied without looking at him.

"No," the Combaticon laughed, "that's high grade."

"So what if it is?" I suspiciously asked. As Starscream, I didn't trust in our newest companion. But if I could stand Blitzwing's presence, I supposed I could tolerate Swindle's too.

"Don't worry, Octane. Unlike the others, I don't need extra fuel, at least not for the moment."

His words didn't surprise me. The small Combaticon had always been cautious and greedy. He certainly had filled his reservoir tanks before abandoning Galvatron's forces to join ours.

"Don't look at me that way. I knew I was following a rumor or a legend. I didn't expect to find you guys so soon." Swindle took a last glance at Starscream. "I didn't expect to find him so changed, either." His voice sounded almost guilty.

I also fixated my optics on our new leader. "Good to know I don't have to worry about that."

"The energon is for him, isn't it?" Swindle continued, unable to finish our conversation. I felt thankful because the others were already in recharge mode, otherwise I wouldn't have known how to explain what I was about to do.

"He needs to recover," I replied. I was extremely worried for Starscream, my fears increasing as well.

Swindle continued admiring the strength of our guide, who remained on his feet despite his precarious conditions. However, it was difficult to establish the exact amount of damage he had sustained; injures couldn't overwhelm his abstract image of perfection and force. If foreign optics would have looked at him in that moment, they would have understood why he was once so feared, owner of the sky and equally deadly on the ground.

He was unique; he had been created to lead a unique team. I remembered his former wingmates. The three of them were a delight to watch as they flied, but a deadly sight for the enemy. Their special abilities gave us so much advantage over the Autobots. It would be fair to blame that trine for our domination of the sky.

"Yes… it's a shame he's the last of his kind," Swindle interrupted my thoughts.

That was a cruel truth. The Combaticon was right; no more Seekers, no more aerial domination. It was then when I finally understood how Starscream should be feeling, the old loneliness I was familiar with, but much more complex.

Starscream was the last Seeker alive. At least I still had that traitor Blitzwing; I wasn't the only Triplechanger left.

"Don't worry. Our conversation will remain private," Swindle assured.

"How much?"

"Why do you ask that?" the Combaticon replied with an innocence I found hard to believe.

"You have never done anything without expecting a profit."

"I see you are not as shallow as I thought, Octane. However, things have changed, and even though I would give you a price, you couldn't afford it, so let's make a deal. I'll keep my vocalizer shut and you will own me a favor. You know, it may come handy… I could never know when I could use your help. A Triplechanger must never be despised," he said cheerfully.

I don't know if his words relieved or worried me.

Swindle noticed my indecision. "You know when I close a deal I always honor my word."

"Whatever…" I said as I shook his hand. I hoped to know what I was dealing with.

--

I glanced at my small group. I knew I may have abused of Starscream's trust and probably I wouldn't recover it in a long time. Starscream still wore the scars of old treasons, from others and his own. Regret toward his actions was clear, but it was too late now.

I decided in that moment I would accept the challenge until the end, no matter what happened.

Time continued going by, approaching the moment in which the journey would restart. Dead End left recharge mode. Unlike Blitzwing, he wasn't surprised to find Starscream submerged into a profound recharge.

"What happened? I see he finally decided to trust us to take care of guard duty," he said.

If he just knew what had really happened… but Swindle honored his promise and didn't say a word.

"We will leave soon. We must remain in movement to avoid been detected," Dead End continued. The Stunticon was a mech of very few words, but when he spoke it was wise to listen to him.

Blitzwing walked toward the motionless figure of Breakdown and carried him on his arms. "I'll take him," he said, guilt more than clear in his voice. "You take care of Starscream," he said, not daring to look at my optics.

My fellow Triplechanger and I still had issues to solve, but I didn't oppose him. After all, I still respected him… my former friend.

I felt fear toward rejection. I could understand what Blitzwing was feeling in that moment. Did he feel like that when we met again thanks to Starscream? I shook my head. It wasn't the moment to think about that. I focused my attention on the damaged Stunticon my fellow Triplechanger was carrying.

Swindle was staring at me. When he noticed my optics on him he quickly turned away.

"We will continue until we find a shelter to make some repairs," I said, expecting some resistance, but somehow everybody had accepted I was Starscream's second in command, at least until that moment. "When Starscream wakes up, he will decide what to do."

Why didn't I tell them the truth, that I have betrayed Starscream's trust?

I just couldn't. I had to let Starscream decide, give him the benefit of the doubt.

Unlike Hook, I knew the former Air Commander of the Decepticon Aerial Elite had changed. He wouldn't abandon us as he would have done before. Probably he wouldn't trust me anymore, but I completely trusted on him.

……………………………………

Continue… Thanks for your time.