Chapter Nine - Reunion
As the princes sat at dinner, Bruno was idly pushing his food around his plate when Licht suddenly said, "Is anyone else wondering about Professor Heine and the lady Knight?"
Bruno dropped his fork in surprise and it clattered against his plate. "What?"
"Well, they do seem rather close, don't you think?" Licht's grin was wide as he rested his elbows on the table and gestured with his own fork. "Who would have thought that our dear Professor knew such a lovely lady?"
Bruno gave his youngest brother a reproachful look. "Seriously, brother, do you always immediately assume that everything involving women has to be romantic in nature?"
"I don't know, Licht," Leonhard said doubtfully as he shoved the carrots to one side of his plate. "I mean, Heine's always so... so... what's the word?" He blew his bangs out of his face in frustration. "He doesn't show what he feels, he just keeps it all inside."
"Reserved?" Kai suggested.
"Yeah, that's it! Reserved!"
Kai rested his chin in his hand and looked thoughtful. "I don't know. I thought he seemed tense. Almost uncomfortable."
"Why do you say that, Kai?" Bruno asked, looking across the table at his brother.
"It's hard to describe. He seemed happy to see her, but... at the same time, it was like he didn't know how to feel about it."
Now that Bruno thought about it, he wondered if Kai might be right. The tutor had seemed glad that she was visiting, and yet, he'd looked troubled as he'd looked at TaraLeila.
"I wonder how they met?" Leonhard was musing.
"And when, for that matter," Licht chimed in. "It can't have been while he's been here at the palace as I'm sure we'd have met her before now. It must have been some time ago."
"It can't have been that long," Kai remarked, "unless they met when she was a child."
"Do you think perhaps she might have been one of his students?" Licht asked, but Bruno shook his head.
"Perhaps, but unlikely, if she is actually Avalonian. Though I suppose if she were adopted at a young age, she'd have acquired a Highland accent over the years if she were adopted by an Avalonian family."
"Hmm. Maybe they met while she was traveling as a Knight," Leonhard suggested.
"That seems far more likely," Bruno agreed.
"She can't be that much older than us, though," Licht said. "At most, she's Eins' age."
"Eins is twenty-three and he travels all over," Kai reminded him. "He has since he was at least eighteen."
"Can you even become a Knight at eighteen?" Leonhard asked in surprise.
"You should ask her," Licht teased, and Leonhard nearly poked him in the ribs with his fork.
"She did seem very happy to see the Professor, though," Kai went on.
Licht gave a dreamy sigh. "Such a dashing fairy tale reversal, isn't it? The beautiful lady Knight, and the Royal Tutor."
"What in the world are you rambling about, Licht?" Bruno said in exasperation.
"Can't you just see it? Dame TaraLeila saves Professor Heine from some terrible fate, and he falls in love with the beautiful Knight, who then must leave, her duty calling her far away..." He flung out one hand melodramatically, and Kai ducked the fork that Licht inadvertently threw at him.
"What absolute poppycock."
"Or maybe it was the other way around!" Licht went on, ignoring Bruno's glare. "Maybe she was one of Heine's students, hopelessly in love with the brilliant tutor, and so off she goes to become a Knight, and thus prove herself worthy of his love!"
Bruno sighed and removed his spectacles to rub the bridge of his nose. "You are utterly exhausting, brother, you know that? I've never heard anything so ridiculous in my life."
"You have absolutely no romance in your soul, Brunie. Try using your imagination for once!"
"What on earth would be the point of concocting some ridiculous fanciful notion about Master's love life? And my soul has plenty of romance, thank you very much."
Licht smirked at his brother as he got up to retrieve his fork.
"Oh, so that's why you were staring at her."
"I wasn't staring, Licht!"
"Right..."
Heine heard a firm knock at his door, and called out, "Enter!"
TaraLeila stepped inside after thanking the maid who'd shown her the way, and closed the door behind her. "Am I early?"
"No, not at all. I asked Helene to bring dinner at six, and she should be here shortly. Please, sit down."
He had made some effort to straighten up his room, but it was still something of a losing battle, and she grinned as she took a seat at the table.
"Ye know, I don't remember your room bein' this disorderly when we first met at the church. In fact, ye lived almost like a monk in a cell."
Heine sat opposite her, his cheeks slightly red. "Admittedly, I was much poorer in those days, and could afford far less in terms of material possessions." He looked around the room. "Though in all truth, I don't own that much more now, apart from my books."
She also looked around, her eyes slightly wistful. "It must be nice, havin' the luxury of stayin' in one place, bein' able to devote yourself to learnin' and such. Then again, ye're much smarter than I, it only makes sense that ye'd make a natural scholar. Me, no' so much."
Just then, another knock sounded, and Helene entered, pushing a small cart with covered trays. "Good evening, Professor, my lady."
"Good evening, madame," Heine replied, and Helene gave him a warm smile as she placed the trays on the table and removed their covers.
TaraLeila stared in astonishment at the table, and Heine smiled to himself. Some things never change, he thought. For all that she's travelled and visited with nobility and royalty, she still can't get used to something other than the life of poverty that the Knights normally live.
Helene didn't seem to notice, or if she had, she discreetly said nothing. "Dinner this evening is cream of asparagus soup, then tafelspitz with chive sauce, green beans with dill, and roasted potatoes. For dessert, Wienner apfelstrudel." She also poured two glasses of wine and set the bottle on the table.
"It all looks delicious," TaraLeila said at last. "If ye'd be so kind, please thank the chefs for me, and thank ye for bringin' it."
Helene looked momentarily startled, then she smiled. "Of course, my lady," she said with a curtsey. "If you need anything, simply ring for me."
After the maid withdrew, TaraLeila crossed herself, folded her hands, and briefly bowed her head in prayer. Heine waited until she was finished, then picked up his wineglass and lifted it to her in a toast.
"What shall we drink to?" he asked softly.
She picked up her own wineglass and looked thoughtful.
"To friendship," she suggested, and he nodded, then clinked his glass gently against hers.
"To friendship," he echoed, and they both drank.
As they began eating, TaraLeila gave Heine a wry smile. "Quite a different meal than the last one we shared."
"You didn't even eat during that meal," he pointed out. "You just provided food for me and the children."
She shrugged her shoulders and continued sipping at her soup, her smile still lingering. "'Twas nothin' I'd no' done before for those in need."
As they ate, they talked about the orphans of Maria Vetsera, the other children he'd taught over the years, and caught up on each other's lives since they'd last seen each other five years earlier. It made a pleasant change for both of them to not have to worry about politics or status as they spoke, since both were commoners who were in the unique position of working with the noble class.
Commoners working with nobles...
Heine gave her a thoughtful look.
"Actually, Tara, as long as you're here, you could be of tremendous help to me."
"Ye know I'm always willin' to help, but I'm no' quite sure I understand," she replied, running her fingers through her long black hair. "I mean, I'm no' the educator ye are, and I've no formal learnin' to speak of."
"That's true," he said, "but you do have expertise in other areas that I do not. You've a greater understanding of combat, swordsmanship, diplomacy, and real-world experience. You've also travelled extensively, whereas I have not. That gives you a perspective that neither the princes nor I have. If you would be willing to share that, I think it would go a long way to helping the princes in becoming better candidates for the throne."
TaraLeila frowned pensively. While she did want very much to help Heine in his efforts to better prepare the princes for kingship, she was all too aware of her own limitations, and she still looked hesitant. "Do ye think His Majesty will approve?"
"He already has," Heine replied quietly. "When I received your letter, I spoke to King Viktor about the possibility before your arrival. As the Royal Guard has taken up the responsibility of protecting Sir Etienne whilst he is here for the conference, I thought you might prefer to have something to do."
She couldn't help the sigh of relief at not having to directly ask the king for his permission to assist, and she smiled at Heine. "Aye, I would at that. Boredom does no' agree with me. If ye promise I'll no' be in the way, I'd be honoured to help ye."
For a little while, they ate in companionable silence, then once they'd finished their meal and sat enjoying a last glass of wine, Heine asked her the question that had been in his mind ever since he'd received her letter.
"When you wrote to me, you said you needed my wisdom and guidance. I've... been concerned about you ever since then. Is everything all right?"
She didn't reply at first, keeping her eyes on her plate, then she set down her glass with a sigh and lifted her eyes to his.
"'Tis... a personal matter that I'd hoped ye could help me with. Ye have always been so calm, so rational, so clear-thinkin'. And because ye're no' part of the situation, ye might have some insight for me."
Heine was startled, and his earlier concern grew stronger, but he bit back his questions, letting her find her words in her own time.
For a long time, she was quiet, idly toying with the stem of her wineglass, then she sighed.
"I'm no' knowin' if I ever mentioned it to ye, but... I was no' just accepted by the Knights, ye ken, I was raised by them since I was but a child."
At his startled look, she nodded. "Aye. Like ye, I'm an orphan. The Order took me in, cared for me, gave me a home. But... all these years, I've still an... an inheritance to claim. However, I'm no' sure 'tis the right thing to do."
"Why not?" he asked quietly.
"Because it has its own obligations and duties, duties that would no' allow me to continue on as a Knight. And bein' a Knight is all I've ever known, all I ever wanted since I was but a wee lass."
TaraLeila stared moodily into her wineglass. "And even though 'tis my decision, the Knights are, weel, tryin' to help things along. They've been offerin' to promote me the last couple of years, to help me learn the skills I'd need."
Then she gave him a look filled with frustration, despair, and helplessness. "And I'm no' knowin' what I want to do."
Heine considered her words for a while.
"I suppose the most important question to consider is, what would make you happy?"
"I'm a Knight, Heine, 'tis no' my place to put my own wants above the Order's."
"Contentment is not a sin, TaraLeila," Heine told her quietly, leaning across the table and taking her hands in his. "There is no law among the Knights stating you are not allowed to be happy."
"'Tis no sin to look to your own heart, Tara."
She kept her head bowed, her black hair falling forward to hide her face from him, but he could see the weariness in the slump of her shoulders.
"Ye don't understand," she said at length. "Since I was a bairn, all I've known is the Knights. 'Tis true, we've no law or rule or creed that says we can no' be happy." She looked up at him through the veil of her hair, and he saw the desperate longing in her eyes that she could not hide from him. Then TaraLeila looked down once more and shook her head, though her hands tightened on his. "There is still so much I could do, Heine. So much good, so much change. But... to give that up for my own happiness..." Her voice cracked as the tears began to stream down her cheeks.
"Ye know the misery and sadness and darkness in this world, Heine, ye so much more than most. If I could change that for even a few, I'd tear my own life apart."
"Oh, Tara," he whispered. "You've done so much for the world, and yet you can't accept when fate gives you the same second chance that you've given so many others."
"What chance is that?" she asked brokenly.
"To have a normal life."
Long after TaraLeila had returned to her own chambers for the night, the tutor sat with his head in his hands.
I had not realized seeing her again would affect me so strongly, he thought sadly. Five years ago, she was attractive, but... she was only eighteen, almost young enough to be my daughter. But over the past five years, the youthful promise has matured, giving her a gravitas and resolve that well suits her.
Even after all this time, he had never forgotten his first glimpse of her, and how for the first time in his life, he'd ever so briefly let himself imagine that he might not have to be alone anymore. But if she learned the truth about my criminal past, it would be abhorrent to her. The Knights believe in justice first and foremost. She could never have cared for a common criminal like me.
And so he'd buried those fleeting feelings deep within himself, letting time and distance ease the longing into a more acceptable friendship.
Until now.
He rose abruptly from his chair and gazed at the stars outside his window.
I cannot let her know. She will be here for a month, and then she'll be gone again for only fate knows how long. I will not let my feelings for her become anything more than they already are. She deserves better than that... better than me.
If only he could convince his own heart of that.
To be continued...