A/N:

I'm sorry for taking this long to post this Chapter. I have many excuses (very few are good ones) and if you really want to hear them PM and I'll indulge you. This is my longest chapter yet and I hope it helps you to forgive my tardiness. Honestly, I had a lot that I wanted Chuck and Sarah to talk about and was struggling with a way to tie them together. I think what I came up with works although Sarah is really talkative in this chapter. I hope that it isn't too OOC but then again in this AU the realization that Chuck was almost taken from her forever opened her eyes and now she will use the same determination she uses to accomplished her spy missions to build a relationship with Chuck.

This is my first attempt at writing romance and love scenes. I chickened out and wrote for 8PM network TV and not HBO late night. I am positive your imaginations are steamier than anything I could come up with anyway.

During my writers block I have read a LOT of FF and was saddened to see so many great unfinished and abandoned stories. So if you are one of the culprits, you aren't allowed to read this until you update your story. You know who you are, now go on your break's over time to get back to work because without your updates they are reduced to reading my pathetic attempts. Don't make them suffer any longer. If anyone has a direct line to Quistie64 let know that Arya's Prayers story is at 300k and counting! SOMII is in serious jeopardy "Becoming" the second longest story. LOL!

Once again Thanks for all the reviews! I try to reply to all of them and id I didn't it was due to old age and forgetfulness not lack of appreciation.

One last thing, I want to publically apologize for some of the reviews I've recently written. I fear my criticism and attempts at humor went too far. I thought I was being helpful (or funny) not hurtful but I think I failed in that endeavor. I will be more careful in the future with the words I use in reviews. I never want to be the straw that broke the camel's back and the reason someone to gives up writing. My only advice (big words for a guy with only two stories to his credit) is to write what makes you happy. If others like it then it's a bonus if they don't then so be it. Live to write another day.

Chapter 10

Blue Jay, CA

Cabin

1030 PST

Hours later the couple awoke after finally being able to put the supplies to use that Sarah had acquired. As they lay together with Sarah draped over Chuck, her head resting on his shoulder. Both were basking in the afterglow of the activities of the past several hours, the most recent occurring half an hour earlier.

"Sarah, can I ask you something?" Chuck asked hesitantly.

"Sure Chuck what's on your mind?" she asked as she shifted you position from her head lying on his chest so she could look into his eyes.

"I know this is stupid and it's all of my insecurities making me ask this, but earlier you said you wanted me to help you be a real girlfriend, does that mean you consider me your boyfriend?" he asked her tentatively.

She smiled her biggest smile at him and kissed him gently on the lips and moved to place her forehead against his before answering, "Yes Chuck, you are my boyfriend and no matter what happens tomorrow that won't change."

When he smiled back at her, it wasn't his usual full strength one. She realized that something else was bothering him. "Chuck, what's wrong? I may be new to this girlfriend thing but I've been you friend for awhile now and I can tell when something's wrong," she said, the concern in her voice noticeable.

"I don't want to ruin the moment, but who knows when we'll have time off like this again to talk with no distractions, other than your current state of undress that is," he said waggling his eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood.

"You're right, we should use this time to talk, you know when we're not otherwise occupied," she said while doing her version of the eyebrow dance.

Chuck laughed at her attempt and said, "I'm on to your evil ways Missy and I'll have you know that I'm immune that trick of yours. I see what you're doing and it's not going to work."

"Oh it's not? Well how about this?" she said as she rolled on top of him and sat up and straddled him and rocking her hips. Her sudden movement also exposed her upper body as the sheet fell down behind her.

"Eep, yeah that definitely works!" he squeaked as he sat up to kiss her passionately.

Blue Jay, CA

Cabin

1140 PST

"Chuck, are you awake?" Sarah asked as she traced circles on his bare chest, playing with his chest hair.

"Hmmm, barely, I hope you aren't expecting anything anytime soon. I may have a computer in my brain but the rest of me is only human. Not that I'm complaining, but if you want a repeat performance I need food and liquids, lots of liquids. Besides, I think we are running low on 'supplies'. Seriously, only three per box?" he said tiredly.

"Well, you challenged my powers of persuasion and I'll never back down from that kind of challenge from you. Also, I bought the only two boxes they had in your size," she said laughingly.

"Remind me to challenge you more often. But at this rate we'll need another 'supply' run soon," he said smiling.

"Okay, we'll go out after lunch and see the sights and pick up some more. By the way Chuck, we never finished the talk you started before your challenge. What did you want to talk about?" she asked.

"After what we just did I'm not sure I should bring that topic up," he said apprehensively.

"This whole relationship thing is new to me but I do know enough that communication is essential to a successful one. That's going to be very hard for me so I'll be relying on you to lead the way on this. I'll try to open up as much as I can as long as you realize that there are some things I can't talk about. It's not that I don't trust you but there are things that could put others in harm's way if it got out. Let's get what's bothering you out in the open and deal with it. Consider it more real girlfriend training for me. Afterwards, I may have a challenge or two for you," she said moving to sit up with her back against the headboard and the sheet wrapped across her chest.

Sighing heavily, he sat up and moved to mimic her position in the bed. "I don't want to upset you or hurt you in any way but I have some questions about you and Bryce," Chuck said nervously.

"Chuck you have nothing to worry about, Bryce and I have been over for a long time," Sarah answered as she looked into Chucks eyes.

"No, I know but – look, when I mentioned my insecurities earlier, I want you to understand why I have them. Sarah, with the exception of Ellie, and to a lesser degree Morgan, everyone I've ever loved or trusted has either left me or betrayed me. I look at you and see this amazingly beautiful, strong, intelligent, kind woman and I can't for the life of me understand why she's with some lanky, underachieving, average looking nerd like me. I'm not like the brave, debonair, muscular spies you're used to dealing with. I'm afraid one day you'll realize what you've settled for and decide you deserve better, and you'd be right. Sarah, I couldn't survive that. The whole Bryce and Jill thing nearly destroyed me and my feelings for you go much deeper. I'm not saying this to guilt you into anything but I need you to understand why I'm so insecure sometimes and last Thanksgiving when I saw you and Bryce kissing, and the way you two were in synch when you fighting those Fulcrum guys at the Buy More, and then a few weeks ago the two of you dancing. You two make an awesome looking couple. I got jealous every time and screwed up and I even got you hurt," Chuck said sadly.

"Oh Chuck! Sweetie, you didn't get me hurt. My job is to protect you first, last and always! The kiss was a mistake. I walked into the room and came up from behind be and he told me wasn't rogue and then he kissed me and for a brief moment all the feelings I had for him came to the surface and I kissed him back. But I broke the kiss off when I realized it was just a play for him to get me off balance," she explained as she cupped his cheeks with both of her hands and looked deeply into his eyes so he could see the truth in her words. "The reason Bryce and I fought well together is all the training we did together. Working together like that doesn't happen without a lot of blood sweat and tears in a Dojo. As for the dancing, I love to dance and I made Bryce go to dance lessons so we could look that good. I was so pissed at him for doing some of those dance moves with you there but I had to play along or risk blowing our cover. Later, Bryce wasted time trying to convince me to go with him to capture Von Hayes instead of sticking with my primary assignment of protecting you. If I hadn't hesitated before remembering my assignment, I'd of been there sooner and could have easily taken cover before the explosion. As for your self assessment, you couldn't be more wrong. Do you know what I see when I look at you? I see the most kind, wonderful, handsome, passionate and brave man I've ever met."

"Brave, really? I scream like a girl every time we run into bad guys!" Chuck said incredulously.

"And why do you run into bad guys?" she asked icily.

"Because, I don't stay in the car?" he replied feebly.

"That's my point. Chuck you've had zero training on how to deal with the kind of missions we get into, and yet there you are running to save two highly trained agents. The very first night you didn't even hesitate, you RAN towards a bomb and then refused to leave so you could diffuse it. If that isn't brave I don't know what is. Oh, I could list several more examples but I'd probably get pissed at you for putting yourself in danger and quite honestly I would rather accept a challenge or two before we go sightseeing," she said huskily.

"Oh boy! Woman, if I didn't know better, I'd think you are trying to kill me," he laughed. "Seriously Sarah, thank you for reassuring me, I still don't fully understand it but I'll work on accepting it."

"Chuck, you're the man that I love and no one has ever made me feel the way that you do. I've been fighting it ever since you helped that ballerina. I was so afraid that if I admitted it that I'd be reassigned and I didn't trust anyone else to protect you other than me. But I was more afraid of the feelings you made me feel for the first time in my life. Chuck I'm sorry that it took almost losing you forever to get over my fears," she said softly as she placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

Blue Jay, CA

1255 PST

As they were driving around looking for a place to stop for lunch, Chuck spotted a deli.

"Hey Sarah, there's a deli up ahead on the right. Are you hungry for a sandwich?" Chuck asked.

"As long as no short brunettes work there," she mumbled.

"Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry about the whole Lou thing. I was in a pretty low spot around that time. I wanted so badly to be with you but you were so adamant that it was all for the cover and I was so lonely that when Lou seemed interested, I was so flattered that someone really did want to be with me that I kind of got caught up in the moment," he said sheepishly.

"Well, I was really hurt by you during the time. First I go all out for our sleep over and you imply I'm a prostitute. Then you break up with me and start dating her," Sarah replied.

"Yeah, the 'oldest profession' crack wasn't my proudest moment. I guess part of me hoped that something would happen that night but when you commented on the candles and asked what I thought was going to happen and reminded me it was all just for the cover, my feelings were hurt and then I saw your outfit, which by the way I would love to see again, I lashed out. I'm sorry for that you didn't deserve being treated like that. In my defense though, I never would have fake broke up with you if hadn't said we had no future under the effects of the truth drug," he explained softly.

"Well, now it's my turn to apologize. I was hoping for something to happen as well but my fear of being reassigned and never seeing you again came back while watching you dance. And, I was a bit underdressed for a cover sleep over. I also have a confession to make. I have been trained to resist the effect of truth drugs," she said looking at Chuck hoping for forgiveness.

"Wait, you were lying when you said this couldn't ever go anywhere?" he said incredulously.

"Yeah, sorry, you don't know how hard it was for me seeing how much that hurt you. For that matter, all the times I had to shoot you down. Like I said this morning, I was so afraid of the bosses discovering that I was compromised and reassigning me. I couldn't bear the thought of never seeing you again or worse something happening to you because I wasn't there. I tried to keep you at arm's length but you'd somehow get close and then I'd be forced to push you away again. But seeing you with Lou was hard on me, and looking back, that's why I blew your cover at that club. I thought I had lost you before I had the chance to ever really be with you. Then when I thought we were going to get blown up I kissed you because I didn't want to die without knowing what it would be like," she said taking his hand in hers.

"Wow, I just want to say thanks you for telling me all of this. It really means a lot to me. Sarah, I know talking about your feelings is hard for you and I'm willing to let you set the pace. If I ask about something that you're not ready to talk about just let me know and I'll back off. I meant what I told you last month. I don't need to know about your past to know who you are now, a girl I can share a cheeseburger with. Speaking of which we still need to find a place to eat and a burger actually sounds pretty good right now," Chuck said as he caressed the back or her hand with his thumb.

"Thank you, that means a lot to me, and I'd love to share a burger with you too," she said softly and wondering how she managed to find someone as wonderful as the man sitting beside her.

Blue Jay, CA

1520 PST

After having lunch at a local burger joint, they drove around the lake for a while. Since it was the off season traffic was light and they made several stops to take in the view and would sit and chat. Sitting on a bench along the lakefront Sarah was telling a story about one of her adventures with Carina while on mission, carefully omitting any classified details that might make Chuck flash.

"… and she's trying to put her dress back on as we're running towards the mopeds we rented earlier while shooting over her shoulder. I told we should have rented a car instead, but you know Carina," Sarah laughed as she told the story.

"So she actually had to get undressed? Does that mean she sex with him?" Chuck asked.

"No, well I don't think so; they were only gone for a few minutes before I broke into the safe. Even if they were, the alarm I accidently triggered would have brought that activity to a screeching halt," Sarah said. She looked up at Chuck's face and could see that something was bothering him about her story.

"Chuck, I can hear the gears working overtime in that big brain of yours, what's wrong?" She asked with a concerned look on her face.

"Well, I mean, I was just wondering, not that I think you would, but it's just, do you, er, have you ever, oh never mind…" he stammered nervously.

"Chuck you're spiraling, remember when we promised to talk about the things that bothered us? Well, it sounds like this is one of those talks we need to have. What do you want to talk about?" she said while taking his face in her hands and stroking his cheeks with her thumbs and making eye contact.

He exhaled deeply before speaking.

"Sarah, hearing the part of your story where Carina had to seduce the drug lord it reminded me of all the times during the past year that Casey made comments regarding your 'seduction missions'. I have questions about those missions, but you don't have to talk about this if you don't want to and I completely understand if that's the case, it's just that no one's ever explained them to me and I'm afraid to ask because of, well I guess you know what I'm afraid of," Chuck said nervously.

Sarah frowned when she heard want was bothering Chuck "You know, I need to make a list of the people whose asses I'm going to kick when we get back, I'm already up to three and Casey just jumped to the front of the line," Sarah grumbled. Seeing the worry in Chucks face she quickly added. "Chuck, I know you are new to this business and I'll try to answer anything I can as long as it's not about my previous missions. I know you probably have those in your head but legally I'm not allowed to talk about them without permission," she said nervously.

"Thank you, that means a lot to me. It's mostly about the Lon Kirk mission. Casey said that you may have to take one for the team, implying you'd have sex with him. Well, actually he said sometimes a spy takes one for the team other times they enjoy it. I said you wouldn't do that, but then when I saw you and Kirk go below…," he said leaving the last word hanging.

"You wondered what was going to happen," she finishing the sentence for him.

"Yeah kind of, I mean I know I don't have any right to be jealous well, not then anyway but I need to understand that part of things. I don't understand asking anyone to make that kind of sacrifice for the greater good. Sarah, I'm not judging you for anything you've done but I care too much for you to not worry what something like that would do to you, well anyone really but especially someone as special as you are. It hurts thinking what that must do to you. To reduce someone as wonderful and special as you are to a piece of meat to be used to gather information, I mean there has to be another way. I'm not sure how I'll handle seeing you forced to do something like that now that we're together, not with my past. But I want you to understand that I love you and will always be there for you if you need me," he said sadly.

"Thank you. It means so much to me to know that someone cares that much for me and will be there when I need them. I've never had anyone like that in my life before and it'll take some getting used to on my part. Seriously, I'm going kick Casey's ass when I get back for making you think I'd do something like that. Casey said he explained things to you so I assumed after he talked to you that you understood what was involved in seduction missions. I thought it would be too hard for me to discuss it with you because of the complicated cover thing between us after the kiss on the docks. Then Bryce asked me to go with him and I couldn't. I was so confused and I wanted some distance from you because I knew I was becoming compromised and it scared me," she said as she planted a soft kiss on his lips, then touched her forehead to his and looked lovingly into his eyes.

A few moments later she continued her answer to his question. "Now then, before we get sidetracked, let me explain how the seduction side of the spy business works. First of all, I never have nor would ever be ordered to have sex with a Mark. Chuck, I am a government employee. Can you imagine the lawsuits that would be brought up if an agent was ordered to do that? I know you watch all those James Bond films and think that's what spies do but honestly I can't think of a more dangerous position for a spy to be in than naked and weaponless with a mark. Seduction is all about control, keeping them interested while maintaining a safe distance. It is used to get the Mark alone, distracted and vulnerable. An agent will usually tranq or incapacitate them some other way, to get the information. Sometimes they have what we are looking for on them or they have a way to access it, keys, passwords etc… Other times we set them up while they are passed out by taking compromising pictures to be used to blackmail them into helping us. If an agent gets in trouble with the Mark, a team is waiting nearby to help them. Think back to the Lon Kirk mission; remember that I had people on the shore backing me up in case things got out of control with him. However in the interest of full disclosure, there are times where an agent is forced to do things that they don't want to in order to protect themselves, including sex. Good planning should keep that from happening but unfortunately plans sometimes go sideways and the agent's backup can't extract the agent for whatever reason. In those rare circumstances, using sex is a matter of personal survival, not because of orders. I won't lie; sex is very often used in the spy business but not in the way that the movies show. A field agent's main job is to cultivate sources of information. This is accomplished several ways. We can buy it sometimes, but most of the time we have to turn a known associate of the target to acquire the information. This is where the sex can come into play. Husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends or just plain old lovers are good sources. Other times a Mark needs entertained for a period of time to keep them away from our target and those times a professional sex worker would be used. Another reason not to use an agent for this role is that most of the people we target are bad people. Bad people, more often than not, can have very deviant tastes. Quite honestly, that could harm an agent physically or even psychologically. Also, let's not forget risk to agents from the many kinds of STD's out there. Bad guys may not give the agent the option to practice safe sex. The government has invested a lot of money in my training and to lose me to something like an STD doesn't seem like a wise use of resources. Now don't get me wrong, there are agents who use sex to accomplish their mission. Some do it because they aren't talented enough to do the job without resorting to that. Other's use sex because, well because they like sex. Another thing, having sex with a Mark is dangerous for the CIA as well. What would happen if the sex with the Mark was the best the agent had ever experienced? I mean not all bad guys are deviants so the possibility exists, it could seriously compromise the agent. Like the episode of that old Sci-Fi TV show you made me watch, where the bad guy was thawed out and he hooked up with a female crew member. She was hopelessly compromised and even helped him take over the ship," she paused to return the smile that flashed on Chuck's face at the pop culture reference before continuing. "But I want you to hear this, if you hear nothing else, I haven't had to do that and I won't if I can get out of it any other way. My talents are more of the covert infiltration and tactical strike variety and that's mostly how Graham used me on missions. Sure I can flirt, bat my eyes and even initiate a little PDA to get a Marks attention but that's as far as I'll go. I only have one more thing I'd like you to think about; if sex was such a great tool to control, a Mark or Asset, then why wasn't I ordered to sleep with you?"

"Wow, I never thought about those things. I guess I let Casey and the Hollywood versions of the spy world guide my thoughts. As for not using it on me I thought it was because you look the way that you do and I, well let's face it, I look like me. Also, why would they force me on an agent when they could throw me in a bunker? I'm sorry kind for making the assumptions that I did, but having Casey explain it to me instead of you was a bad idea. And earlier when Carina tried to seduce me, and I pretty sure she wasn't just leading me on…" Chuck said before Sarah interrupted.

"WHAT? THAT DEA SKANK TRIED TO SEDUCE YOU?" Sarah yelled.

"Sarah, calm down, nothing happened. That's also when she told me about you and Bryce. When she left, she told me that she likes to take what you want. I told her that you didn't want me but she said that you probably didn't know it yourself yet. That was the first time I thought you might have feelings for me for more than the cover," Chuck said calming her down as he wrapped his arms around her and drew her into a hug and kissed the top of her head.

"Okay, but she still gets added to the list twice, for the seduction and for telling you about Bryce," Sarah murmured softly into Chuck's chest.

"Fair enough, just for the record, jealous Sarah is kind of hot in a scary sort of way. Just sayin," he said with a small laugh.

"Am I going to have to keep you in my sight 24/7?" Sarah said in a faux threatening voice.

"I think that's an excellent idea! Is it too late to send that request to Beckman?" he said as they both laughed.

They lapsed into silence and continued holding each other for several minutes when Sarah's burner phone starting ringing. Casey had set up her CIA issued phone to forward all calls to a dozen or so burner phones. Most of the phones had been mailed to several states and countries in both North and South America to make it harder to track the couple down. Sometimes it's good having an NSA agent as a partner.

"Walker secure," Agent Walker replied as she answered the phone.

"Sarah its Mary, enjoying your vacation?" the NCS Director asked pleasantly.

"Well, I'm still on Asset protection so I don't think it really counts as a vacation. I'm also pretty sure that after taking all those tests, the Asset doesn't think it's a vacation either," Sarah laughed.

"Ok, point taken. Ed was impressed the Chuck was able to complete all of the tests on time. But there was a slight administrative snafu. Apparently, you aren't an approved proctor for the tests and we'll going to have to send a Human resources representative there to sign off on the tests, essentially it's an affidavit signed by the two of you that you didn't assist him on the test. The HR rep will sign as a witness and notarize it to keep things all nice and legal," Mary said apologetically.

'Shit! This is bad! If they're on the way to castle now, how will I explain not being able to get to Castle in time? They still think we're in my hotel room,' her mind raced as she replied to her boss. Sarah replied nonchalantly "Oh? When will he arrive and where do you want us to meet them?"

"Unfortunately, the HR folks in our West Coast office are attending a training class here at Langley and won't be back until next week. Ed decided to send someone from Langley to handle that and any other personnel issues that may come up based on the Generals decision. They should arrive tomorrow at Castle before the meeting. We wanted them to fly out this afternoon but because of the short notice it didn't work out," Mary answered.

'Thank God! That gives us time to get back!' she thought before talking again. "That should be fine, I was planning on arriving at Castle by about 1030 our time to get ready for the meeting. Director, if you don't mind my asking, what do you think are the chances of Chuck's requests being granted?"

"I honestly haven't got a clue Sarah. She's a hard woman to read. The Intelligence community isn't the all boy's club it was when she came up but she's gotten a double whammy by being in the military as well. The saying, 'we've come a long way baby' is in large part due to woman like her daring to break that glass ceiling. I don't agree with some of her decisions but then again I wasn't in her shoes at the time. I want you to know that if it goes bad, that I'll make sure that you'll get to pick your next assignment. I may even have a management spot for you here at Langley. Are you ready to come in from the cold and become a REMF?" Mary lightly joked.

"I don't know. It's all in the General's hands now. Thank you for your support in all of this. It's getting late for you so I'll get off the phone now. I guess I'll see you and Ed tomorrow," Sarah said sincerely.

"Oh, don't worry about the time, it comes with the territory. Sarah, after what you've done for Ed and me, it's the least I can do. Bye, take care of yourself," Mary said as she hung up.

"What was all of that about?" Chuck asked looking concerned.

"We have to be back at Castle in the morning. C'mon, let's get back to the car and I'll explain everything as we finish the 'supply' run. Then we'll go back to the cabin and get the equipment packed and loaded. After that I have a few 'challenges' for you," she said while doing the eyebrow dance.

"Oh boy," he said as she starting running to the car.

CIA HQ

Langley, VA

1910 EST

"Well, I think she bought it. They both should be at Castle in the morning for you to spring your surprise. Are you sure that this is the way you want to do this? It's a big risk you're taking, removing Sarah as his handler is one thing but going after his sister and her boyfriend are another," Mary said to the small General sitting in front of her desk.

"It can't be any other way. I will regain control of this situation once and for all!" the NSA Director said ominously.