Kate gripped the headboard and concentrated on the blissful sensation of Jack moving in and out of her at a demanding pace. It had been about a month since Jack was back in her life and things couldn't be going better. He had been keeping a manageable work schedule and spent his free time with her and Aaron. Most nights after Aaron was tucked away safely in bed, they had a hard time keeping their hands off each other. Sometimes they didn't make it past the kitchen. She craved him in a way that she didn't even know was possible, and the way he responded told her he felt the same way.
He still had his apartment, but he had all but moved in with her. She had slipped a house key in his pocket one morning while he was on his way to work and he smiled to himself as he fished it out later.
Kate felt Jack move up so he was on his knees and he lifted her legs up so they were now resting on his shoulders. His forearms were wrapped tightly around her legs just above the knees and Kate could see his veins standing out on his now bulging biceps. She wanted to reach out and touch them, but didn't want to move from her position. He was close…and that always meant very good things for her.
They both lay side by side, spent and satisfied. Jack had been on call all week, so they had missed each other the past two nights. Jack had finally walked in the door around 9pm and found Kate in the shower, so he promptly stripped down and proceeded join her, showing her all the things that had been playing in his mind all day.
Kate nuzzled his neck, "Maybe you should be on call more often, Dr. Shephard."
Jack let out an exhausted laugh, "Oh yeah?"
Kate sat up and took in his appearance. He was still slick with sweat, breathing hard and had one arm resting across his forehead. He was staring at the ceiling and she could tell he was in deep thought.
"Hey, you ok?"
Jack didn't answer her immediately and he was debating over whether or not he should tell her, or ask her rather, what was on his mind. He couldn't stop the thought from leaving his mouth though…he had to know.
"Do you….do you ever think about him?" He asked nervously, never moving his eyes from the spot on the ceiling.
Kate felt a ping in her gut. She knew exactly who he was referring to. Sawyer. They had never really discussed her relationship with Sawyer before. Kate knew she had really hurt Jack on the island, but that was the past. Why bring it back up? Why now?
"Jack…what? Where is this coming from?"
"Just answer the question, Kate."
Kate let go of a long breath. "I don't know. I mean, I think of him the same way I think of all the people we left behind, Jack. I cared for him, but I never loved him.
She paused to look over at him and she could tell he was waiting for her to continue.
"Jack, I know you saw us on the cameras." That seemed to snap him out of his trance and he looked over at her, surprised.
"What...How?"
She cut him off, "Juliet told me. When we were cuffed together." She could feel the tears of regret welling up in her eyes and she tried to shun them away.
"Jack, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. It's just…you were so angry with me for asking you to do the surgery. And when you refused…I just…I was so sure we were all going to die. I knew they were going to kill him, and I knew how he felt about me. I made a mistake. And I can't take it back, but please know that I was never in love with him. I guess I was just settling for what I thought I deserved."
Jack nodded, "And the other time?"
A flash of hurt ran across her face. For an instant, Jack almost felt bad for asking, for digging this back up. Almost. But he had to know that she was over Sawyer, that he wasn't somewhere in the back of her mind. He knew without a doubt that Kate loved him, but he had to know he wasn't her second choice. He wanted to forget he ever saw them together, but lately it had been eating at him again. He had been happy before with Sarah, but he was never in as deep as he was now with Kate. He knew he wouldn't survive losing her, and he needed to know he wouldn't.
Kate sighed and flopped back onto the bed, "The other time…I was jealous. You insisted on bringing Juliet back with us, and I felt like I was being replaced. No, I was being replaced…and I just made a rash decision. That's all, Jack. After that, it was over. And before you ask, me going back to Locke's camp had nothing to do with Sawyer, "
"I never felt that way about Juliet. Trust me, I wanted to. I wanted to just get over you, but I couldn't use her like that. Juliet knew how I felt about you. I cared for her, but she was nothing more than a good friend."
Kate rolled over on her side to face him. "Jack, I'm sorry I hurt you."
Jack rolled his head toward her and searched her face. He could see how sincere she was and he felt good for getting it off his chest, out in the open, and hopefully in the past. He ran his finger down the side of her face, "I'm sorry I hurt you too."
He encouraged her to come lay her head on his chest. "I'm sorry I brought it up, but I just needed to get it out. I never want us to get to a place where we aren't honest with each other."
She looked up at him and gave him a reassuring kiss before settling back down. "I know, me either."
Shortly after, Jack drifted off into a deep sleep. But Kate stayed wide awake unable to shake her internal struggle. Sawyer had asked her to go find his daughter, and make sure she was ok, that she was taken care of and that she knew her father loved her.
Before Jack came knocking on her door a month ago, she was ready to take that journey. She had found out where they were living, which wasn't far from her at all. But now what? Especially after the conversation she and Jack just had. He apparently still harbored insecurities where Sawyer was concerned. He would never understand her wanting to follow through with her promise to him. Even though in reality, it had nothing to do with Sawyer and everything to do with an innocent little girl who would live the rest of her life feeling unloved by her father. Something Kate was all too familiar with.
"Jack, this place is beautiful!" Kate exclaimed as they walked through the threshold of Jack's family lakehouse. They had decided that the three of them would go on a quick weekend getaway and Jack thought this would be the perfect place. It was a beautiful, pristine cottage style house nestled in the low, rolling mountains of California with a beautiful view of the water.
"Yeah, I've forgotten how pretty and peaceful it is here. I think I was a teenager the last time I was here….I guess you don't really appreciate that kind of stuff when you are a kid."
Aaron toddled over to the glass door and pointed at the lake, "Wat-ah, wat-ah!"
Kate laughed and held his hand as she opened the back door and walked him down to the water's edge. Where they were, the water was shallow enough to wade around and she had to keep Aaron from bounding in. Kate took his shoes off and let him walk around in the water next to her. The look on his face was worth a million dollars. His eyebrows shot up and his mouth formed into and excited "Oh!"
She gingerly guided him around in the crystal clear water as they looked at the rounded pebbles below their feet.
Jack came down a few moments later and stood at the edge, taking in the scene before him. He couldn't help the overwhelming sense of adoration that swelled in his chest as he took in Kate's rolled up jeans, fitted tank top, and long loose braid which glimmered in the setting sun. She turned to face him and caught his eyes. She gave him that beautiful smile that he cherished before waving him in.
"Come in, Jack. The water's perfect."
He just smiled, shrugged and began the task of taking off his shoes.
As he waded in toward the two of them, he was hit with the absolution of what he already knew, what he had known for awhile, really. He wanted to marry Kate. Nothing in his life had ever felt so right.
"Hey." Kate whispered as she made her way down the staircase to where Jack was sitting on the couch typing away on his laptop.
Jack looked up and smiled warmly at her, "Hey, did you get Aaron to sleep ok?"
Kate giggled, "Are you kidding? He was exhausted. I think the fishing and boat ride wore him out. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow"
Jack laughed, "I figured he may be to young to appreciate the fishing excursion, but I was wrong. It is a Shephard family tradition, afterall."
Kate let his comment lie, but it warmed her heart at the same time. Seeing the bond that Jack and Aaron had formed sometimes put a lump in her throat.
She sat down next to him and folded her legs under her. "You working?" She asked curiously.
Jack sighed, "Yeah, I just had a few emails to catch up on. I don't want to get too behind on the busy work."
Kate settled back and let him continue his work. A few moments later she ran her hand underneath his t-shirt and let her fingers lightly, teasingly glide over the smooth muscles of his back. She bit back a grin as she felt the beginnings of goosebumps everywhere she touched. She heard his typing slow down as he groaned slightly.
"Are you trying to distract me, Kate?" He asked. And though she couldn't see his face, she knew he was smiling.
"Maybe. Is it working?" She teased.
"Never. I'm a dedicated, focused surgeon. I'm trained to block out distractions." He said smugly playing along with her.
Kate sat up then and moved directly behind him. She let her fingers glide around his ribcage until they reached his chest and abdomen. She let them explore lower until they teased the skin right below his naval. His breathing became heavier, though he was still focused on his computer screen, trying to outlast her. She leaned forward, her breath directly on his neck. She placed a feathery kiss on the side of his neck until she reached his ear. She nibbled slightly and whispered something naughty as her hands grazed the front of his boxers.
Jack slammed his laptop shut and before Kate had time to react, she was pinned beneath him and her yoga pants and underwear had already been discarded. He held her arms over her head with one of his large hands, while the other hand lightly barely glided over her inner thighs much in the same manner that she had just been teasing him with, touching her everywhere but where she was dying for him to.
He grinned wickedly down at her, completely ready to toy with her and drive her crazy in a way that he would never get enough of. But as he caught the look of pure desire and trust that she was giving him, he knew he wouldn't last. He was so turned on by this woman, that he had to have her. Now. He had the rest of the night to play with her body, but his need in that moment won out. He sat up and encouraged her to wrap her legs around his waist. He stood up and carried her to the bedroom they were sharing, ready to devour her, to show her how much he loved her- in a way that no combination of words would ever be able to express.
AN: Thank you for all of the reviews! I'm sorry it has taken my so long to get this chapter out. I know it is pretty fluffy, but part of my desire with this story is to give moments that we never got the see on the show and to see them have some sense of normalcy and happiness. I truly believe that they shared moments like this in their time off the island, and I hate that we didn't see any of them. I'm not saying this story will always pure fluff, and I have a few thoughts on exactly where this will go, but I'm open to your thoughts and suggestions as well. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know your thoughts!