woow! a new chapter! and it is pretty long. oh, i do not own any of the songs int his chapter. or the guys in Connect 3/Jonas Brothers, or Frankie Jonas, who i could steal and make my small brother in real life coz he is so damn adorable! Aww!
anyway, read on!
Chapter 9
In Kenya, our parents these days say that one is too young to think of falling in love at the age of 22, and it's always pumped into our heads that it isn't true love. They, on the other hand, probably had two kids by the time they were my age.
No matter, the damage has already been done. We can't fall in love at 22. The seeds of doubt are sown and they have already sprouted.
For my case, I fell in love at 16, but because I was too scared, I told myself that I was just friends with Shane, and that a guy his age and of his stature could have any other girl he could have. What would he want with a girl like me who isn't even partially white, or who is plump, and who spends more time indoors than outdoors? What did he see in me that he didn't see in other girls?
My parents had been happy to hear that I was doing great, and that I had just gotten my first official boyfriend. I was also reminded that I was from a strong Christian background and that I was Kenyan, a celebrity and African, close to Music Royalty, the world was watching my every move.
Oh, it is as scary as it sounds. You know that you have problems when the good becomes a double-edged sword. Shane had experienced it first hand when he got dumped, and he had become depressed and headed to alcohol. His status made him easier to stand out. He kind of became the butt of people's jokes. If he wasn't famous, no one would have known.
My parents are moving to California, and I suspect it's to make sure I don't "slip and fall" before my wedding night. Besides, my dad thinks we won't last because "Hollywood couples don't last." It made me think that maybe I should move to Bollywood, not Nigerwood; there are too many drama queens over there. Then maybe I can wear saris and wear the dhoti on my forehead and dance around trees with my boyfriend.
Boyfriend? I don't know what we are. We haven't defined what we have. We would rather just be a small improvement of what we were before I admitted it to him while looking him in the eye. Yes, I had to tell it to him while I was blushing like crazy. Shane got a kick out of it. We haven't kissed yet, just given each other little pecks and let me tell you something, I love it when Shane slips his hands round my waist and pulls me to him. It's become our new favourite hobby-staying in his arms for up to hours. Photos of our weekend together leaked out to the press and I am guessing that my next interview will have questions about us.
I pause, doing my crunch-ups. I have been doing them since I got back and I have been rewarded by an almost flat tummy. And I bought the hula-hoop, because I know I don't really like exercise. My exercise is "kupiga maraundi mwenda town" (doing random rounds in town) but coz I am now a celebrity, I can't do that. So the hula-hoop is a great substitute. When I was a kid, we used bicycle tires instead, and I never really understood how to do it. But when I went back to my mum's, i got personal training from her. Must hand it to her, she is an awesome teacher.
A heads-up, Shane is finally leaving rehab. Now I can get to see him anytime I want to. I had missed him so much. Jason and Danielle had to clear all the alcohol out. Too bad coz they adore champagne, and Shane's house was also stripped off the drinks. We gave it to a friend of mine-remember Leo? Yes, the photographer. He had a party going down and was planning for the drinks.
Now, we all are ready to receive Shane. wait, I have this photo shoot with Caity and Leo. Oops, got to get moving.
My photo shoot goes pretty well. Its for some posters for the show I have later this week. Leo is trying not to flirt with me, but, damn, the guy can't help himself.
"Okay, I just noticed your waist size is 26. How did that happen?"
"Well Caity, the secret, is a measly hula-hoop, and puberty."
"A kid's toy and growing up?"
Leo is looking at me and I am smiling right back at the end of this shoot. I know that he is probably thinking of where to take this pretty little miss.
"Leo, concentrate," I say to him, disrupting his thoughts. Just as he wakes up, Caity pulls me aside. This guy has been checking me out way too much. Is it because of what I have worn? Caity tells me that I have a gig at X-Factor tomorrow, a Thursday, and that I have to be there like two hours before they go on. Just as she finishes, Leo approaches me.
"So, I have been thinking that we should catch up over Coffee,"
"Hmm, that would be nice, I would love that, but I have to go now. I am supposed to go see Shane."
As if on cue, the said person walks up to us. Hey, he is here, and looking hot! I can't believe he is back home. I smile at him and he comes over to hug me and say hi to Leo. He then goes to say hi to Caity and I see Leo looking a little sad.
"Tell you what. Let's do that coffee tomorrow. What do you think?"
"That is a great idea," Leo said, and we hugged goodbye. He was a little clingier than normal. As I exited with Shane and Caity ten minutes later, Leo was not looking at us. I knew something was up. Just didn't know what. Maybe because Shane had come to pick me up?
Shane and I went to a quiet place and grabbed a burger and soda, after which we went to the beach and hang out. My hair was still in its pretty waves from the photo-shoot and as Shane chased me around, it flew behind me like a curtain. He managed to catch me and lift me up. I always thought I was too heavy for any guy to lift me, but Shane had just proved me wrong.
Finally, we headed to his place and we cuddled up on the floor after having Chinese, then watched "The Proposal" and then he dropped me off at my place. As I shut the door of my apartment, I smiled and leaned against the door smiling. Caity looked up from her knitting and smiled, winking at Nate who had been too busy with the football game on the TV.
"Someone's in love, huh?"
"Well, Nate technically they have been for six years."
I didn't care, all I cared about now was how Shane and I were so. . . I don't know. Give me the word.
My first performance on X-Factor was going to be one of the most remembered, that I was going to ensure. I was singing "Believe in Me" and "When I Look at You" which was in my up and coming album.
Sound check was done away from the venue. We kind of wanted this to be a surprise. No one knew yet which songs I would sing, except the Jonases. They all turned up for the sound check and they got front row seats to the performance. Shane and I were writing a song together which we would record as soon as we could called "Make a Wave." It was going to be in a movie that the Connect 3 was going to act in. I had been asked to audition, but I was still considering it.
Back to my warming up during sound check, I played "When I Look at You" and everyone, including Nate, was like, where the hell did you learn to play? I had some explaining to do. Nate was trying to play it as well later on when I told him that I wasn't ready for the world to know that I was playing instruments.
After sound check, Caity and Nate took me to the venue, and I got to meet THE Simon Cowell, L.A Reid, Britney Spears and Avril Lavigne. I was a little excited about meeting the ladies and Jason was watching me trying not to screw it up. After doing a verse of "Firework" for them, I went backstage then to my changing room for the night. The Jonases had a changing room too, and as I walked to mine, I heard the guys from Cambio talking to them. I shut the door after Caity walked in and I took a shower before I sat down on the couch and spent some time catching up with her.
She had been busy and felt like Nate and she were kind of drifting apart. I found that hard to believe. I mean, they were my inspiration. Anytime I thought of a young couple I loved, they popped up. I love how they can sit for hours, smiling at each other, cuddling or getting all mushy and stuff. I also love the respect Nate has for her, and the fact that the two of them have been together since they were 16. Of course they have had their fights and broken up along the way, but its only made them stronger.
When we were both 19, Caity broke up with him. I was in my second year then. As soon as I heard, I made plans to go to L.A. I booked a flight and waited for the semester to end in like a week. We had these tough papers and stuff but I wasn't giving up on her. I knew she needed me, and as soon as I finished the last paper, I rushed to my hostel which was like a kilometer away, called a taxi to pick me up, said goodbye to the class representative who had been hitting on me all year and headed to the airport. I already had all my papers in order thanks to the label, and I had my ticket. I took a flight from the EIA to Nairobi's JKIA and connected to London's Heathrow. The next connecting flight from Britain to the USA, luckily, was L.A bound, but would need a stop-over at NYC.
I got to Caity in less than three days. I was sleep deprived, exhausted, but when I saw her at the airport, I knew all this was worth it. She had lost weight, just like I did when I went on tour the last time. She took me home and the two of us just hang out. I spent my last four month holiday with her, and I enjoyed every moment. We went out dancing, had those girls-night-ins in the movies, had make-overs and basically had the most fun we either of us had had in a while. We even went to a hotel and I harassed them when they gave us sub-standard service. We ran from the paparazzi, posted YouTube videos of us singing songs, and we even had a few performances at concerts.
During one of these concerts I met Arianna Grande. She had just been signed to Hollywood, and was really talented. She did the curtain rising for me and after that, we just clicked. It was nice getting to know someone new and not having the boys on our case. They had gone on tour in Europe so we were having ourselves a ball. Shane had stopped talking to me, and he was dating an actress, Demi Lovato who had her own Disney Show called "Sonny with a Chance", Nate had been spotted hanging out with Demi's BFF Selena Gomez who was also a Disney actress. So, in this way, two heartbroken girls had fun and made new friends. I even recorded a single called "Tell Me Something I Don't Know" and had Luke Williams do the rapping in the song.
Back to Caity, seeing her face, my heart broke. I knew that she loved Nate with all her heart, and it hurt to be that confused. Nate has always been a little unpredictive and hard to read when it comes to emotions. People label him the sensitive type, which is true, but sometimes his sensitivity just gets on my nerves. Like that time he had a MEGA crush on me. Ha-ha, you didn't know that, did you?
He was like so confused and stuff, and when he told me, eventually, I was like, 'wow. I did not see that coming.' He was always so sweet but he had become a little weird to have around. Like that day when I wore my PJs to the webcam call-in for the Hellen DeGeneres show. He had gone all crazy Nate on me, and we had like an impending argument but Shane stopped us.
I told Caity not to worry, and that maybe it was just work. Nate was the one who handled most of the business part of Connect 3, because he was like professional, Jason was the creative one and Shane was the camera-hogging one. (Don't tell him I said that). Frank was a mix of all that, having been the one his brothers dotted on. He was so funny, creative, amazingly sweet, camera-loving and I can't believe I am saying this, handsome. I am starting to sound like I am in love with him. Oh-oh, maybe the tabloids were right. Maybe I had a thing for him.
"Two minutes Sarah Kadesa," I heard, and I shrugged before grabbing Caity's hand and telling her that we had to go.
"Tonight, we have two guest appearances on the show," Jason said, playing the M.C. "And as we take a break from the participants' performances, I would like to introduce to you, for the first time on X-Factor, a very good friend of mine, and we go like way back. I met her when she was 16 and she was totally a rock-star from the start. We have had like many memories and I must admit, she is like family now."
Simon Cowell was like, "Jason, when are you bringing her out?"
"Right now Simon. Can't I at least give out an intro? Man, you are so impatient. Anyway, so, I was saying, she is an amazing singer and I have to give it to her, an amazing song writer. Most people in the audience probably have her latest song, "It's Not Too Late" on their playlist. Well, it's on mine," as he said this, the audience cheered. I felt very happy to hear them say that. Seems like they had already figured out who I was.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome, for the very first time on X-Factor, Sarah Kadesa."
As Nate started to play the piano, the lights dimmed, and I made an entrance without being noticed. I counted the notes till where I began.
I'm losing myself,
Trying to compete
With everyone else, instead of just being me.
Don't know where to turn,
I've been, stuck in this routine
I need to, change my ways, instead of always being weak.
The lights brightened and now everyone could see me, sitting on the piano's top. This was going pretty well, telling from the audience's response. People were cheering and clapping.
I don't wanna be afraid,
I wanna wake up feeling beautiful, today
And know that I'm okay,
'Cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways
And you see, I just wanna believe in me
La la la la, la la la la
The mirror can lie
It doesn't, show you what's inside
It can, it can tell you you're full of life
It's amazing what you can hide
Just by putting on a smile.
I don't wanna be afraid,
I wanna wake up feeling beautiful today.
And know that I'm okay
'Cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways
And you see, I just wanna believe in me.
I'm quickly finding out,
I'm not about to break down
Not today.
I guess I always knew, that I had all the strength
To make it through
Not gonna be afraid,
I wanna wake up feeling, beautiful today
And know that I'm okay,
'Cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways
And you see, now
Now I believe in me
Now I believe in me.
When I finished the song, I said hello to the audience and made a few jokes after Nate was introduced too. Then he began playing my new song, which had just been released a week ago. I smiled at the audience, seeing Caity bouncing on her seat.
"Caity and Natey, this is for you," I smirked while looking in Nate's direction when I called him that name. He just looked at me and shook his head before he began to play.
Everybody needs inspiration,
Everybody needs a song.
A beautiful melody,
When the night's so long.
'Cause there is no guarantee,
That this life is easy,
Yea
When my world, is falling apart
When there's no, light to break up the dark
That's when I, I,
I look at you,
When the waves, are flooding the shore
And I can't, find my way home anymore
That's when I, I,
I look at you
When I look at you,
I see forgiveness.
I see the truth.
You love me for who I am
Like the stars hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I know I'm not alone,
Yeah
When my world, is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I
I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can't, find my way home anymore
That's when I, I,
I look at you
You appear, just like a dream to me
Just like kaleidoscope colours
That covers me,
All I need
Every breath that I breathe
Don't you know, you are beautiful
Yeah, yeah, yeah
When the waves are flooding the show
And I can't find my way home anymore
That's when I, I, I look at you
I look at you
Yeah, yeah
Oh, oh
You, appear just like a dream, to me
As I finished the song, the whole audience was on its feet, cheering me. I wiped like a tear or two and I could see Simon smirking.
"Wow! And I thought I got used to her voice but that was, . . . wow, and I got blown away, just like the first time . . . Sarah, AMERICA LOVES YOU!"
I was still shocked, and I was still wiping off the tears. I had written this song, thinking of these two most important friends of mine, and there it was, out in the open. The song was so . . . touching. These two needed to work on themselves. I saw Nate smile at me and he hugged me before I walked off the stage to get a hug from Britney and Avril who were, together with L.A, still clapping. L.A Reid was shaking his head in shock, and Simon was like totally blown away, he couldn't talk.
"That was amazing," L.A said, before he hugged me.
"Totally," Britney said, smiling at me, before hugging me again.
"You have an amazing voice, Sarah," Avril smiled at me, and she hugged me for the second time.
"Well, Simon is speechless," Jason said, smiling in his direction. "You didn't want me to talk too much but that performance knocked the words off you."
Simon got up, and came to me, then hugged me. I was still crying a little bit and Nate was shaking his head as he said hello to the judges. The audience awed.
"You guys sounded like you were judging her," Jason spoke up after I walked back to the stage.
"Well, what do judges on X-Factor do?" Simon replied, making the audience laugh. I smiled at Caity, and then walked away before the guys rushed in. Frank yelled, "You were awesome!" and Shane was like, "you are like endowed with the best voice ever."
"You think so?"
"I know so."
As he ran off to the stage, I saw Jason grab his favourite guitar and I decided to get into the audience as soon as possible. First, they performed 'Burnin Up' then 'Got Me Going Crazy', 'Just Friends' and ended with 'Love Bug'.
I was trying not to cry when Nate said that 'Love bug' was for Caity. She was smiling but there were tears in her eyes.
"Caity."
"You and Nate just have me all watery like a faucet."
"Aww, come here," I said, hugging her. She hugged me back, and I smiled up at Shane and Frank, the later who was busy playing the guitar like a pro. He looked so much like Jason. He looked up for a little and our eyes met. He grinned at me, and I kind of felt myself grin back too.
This was one of the greatest days ever! I was not going to forget this day. Not in a while.
so, what do you think? hmm? leave a review. i love to feel the love. it is like cookies. talking about cookies, i haven't had some in AGES! ok, i am gonna go look for some next time i am in school. so, please don't forget to leave me a review. oh, and one other thing, i am soon going to start posting like a chapter instead of three at a go, so enjoy while it lasts.
another thing, i am about to introduce a few new characters.