Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts!
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Well it's true!
Progress report: Yup. I'm making up for taking so long by releasing two chapters this week! I could say that, but it'd be a lie. This chapter just turned out really short (and easily written), so… enjoy!
Turnabout of the Ancient Mariner
(Part 3)
"Good to see you!" nodded Judge Scotty.
… Why? Thought Jaden Friday, face palming himself. Why on earth do all these crazy people come see… oh wait. I'm a psychiatrist. That would do it, yeah. "It's… good to see you too, I guess? Star head?" Friday said uncertainly.
Scotty flicked at the front-most of his five pointed locks of hair. "I'm not a star head!" he defended. "It's a pentagram!"
"Which… is a star." Friday asserted.
'Well…" Scotty shrugged. "Yeah. I suppose it is."
Friday shook his head. At the risk of sounding redundant… why? "What seems to be the trouble then, star head?" he asked politely, yet rudely at the same time. "Marital issues? New father anxiety? Believe me, I've seen some weird stuff; don't worry about seeming strange."
"Well no" Scotty explained. "It's not about me per se… I'll have you know Lia's very happy, and Georgia's just peachy… it's about my friend."
"And who would that be?" Friday asked, pretending to care.
"Chancellor, of course" Scotty said, a slight chuckle lacing his voice. "Who else would have problems?"
Death! Death! "What kind of problems would he seem to be having?" Friday asked.
"Well… it's not exactly him, it's about him…" Scotty looked around the room for a minute, and then leaned in towards the glass. "You see… for some reason, the prosecutor's office is forcing poor Tanya… you remember Tanya? Well she and Chance are dating now, and the prosecutor's office is forcing them to face each other in court all the time." Scotty shook his head and let out a sigh. "Chance could care less, it doesn't affect him in the slightest. But Tanya…" his voice trailed off. "Well… it's killing her, I can tell." He shook his head slightly. "I really can't stand the sight of it."
Friday nodded. Yeah. I've heard this before, star head. What do you want me to do about it?
"You see the thing is…" Scotty continued. "As a judge, I'm supposed to remain impartial in court matters. I've considered taking the issue up with the prosecutor's office, surely I could do something, but I stop myself every time. I don't know if I'm afraid I'll lose my job or…" He shook his head again. "I really don't know what I should do."
Friday looked Scotty over for a minute, and then sighed dramatically. "Alright then, star head. Let's start from the beginning. When did you first…"
Patient Log: Scotland Domino
Surprisingly normal. Subject is, despite certain immature tendencies, a level minded and mature adult. His concern for Chancellor (Death! Death!) and Tanya (Oh baby!) seems genuine, and his unwillingness to do anything about the problem seems, according to this first session, to be a legitimate concern for professional ethics, without any sort of selfish, ulterior motives whatsoever.
It's guys like this that give the rest of us bad names.
"Alright then" Friday said after the session was finished. "My advice for now would be to follow what us shrinks like to call the 'doctrine of inaction'." He smirked internally. "Muddy waters, when left alone, will clear themselves. I think that, for now at least, this situation has the potential to sort itself out."
Scotty nodded gratefully. "I'll be sure to put in a good word for you, Mr. Friday" he smiled. "For a psychotic murderer, you're not all that bad a guy!"
Friday faked a smile, gave a slight wave, and returned to his cell. Why is an idiot like that on the judge's bench?
-S.S. Noble. 7/10. 9:00 pm.
"So tell me honestly, Chance" Kendra Noble asked. "How does it look?"
The two of them were sitting side by side at the below deck bar. Chancellor gave her an amused look and responded. "Mrs. Noble, I'm a young, ambitious attorney competing for a partner slot in your husband's firm. Do you honestly expect an objective opinion?"
"Yes" she nodded.
"Appletini!" yelled the bartender. "Which one of you girls ordered an appletini?"
"That'd be me," Chancellor said, raising his hand. The bartender gave him and odd look, and then passed Chance the glass. He took a small sip, smacked his lips, and set the drink down. "Fair enough" he said, returning to the conversation. "I think that your new leather jacket, no matter how nice it is on its own, clashes something terrible with your red sequin dress, and it probably would have been better if you hadn't gone up and put it on."
"I know," she whispered, leaning forward with a smile. "I put it on just to see how honest the people down here are!" She laughed, but kept it at a whisper. "Benvolio over there said something along the lines of 'Oh… it is a nice outfit, yes mademoiselle' and Triplex complimented me endlessly, using all these words that, really, meant the exact same thing." She stifled another laugh, and than took a sip of her Bloody Mary. "That's what I like about you, Chancellor. You're direct!"
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," joked Chance.
"Direct" said Alexis, popping out of nowhere. "When used as an adjective, it means the same thing as 'straightforward, candid, and frank', with synonyms being 'plain' and 'direct talk'." She smiled, feeling good about herself.
Chance stared for a minute with his mouth agape. "I'm going to call you 'Miriam' from now on, ok?"
"Not ok, uncool, undesirable!" Alexis pouted. "It's Triplex or nothing, you hear me?"
"Look, Miriam" Chance explained. "While, I have to admit, Triplex is a very fitting name for you, I'm dating someone right now, and I don't want to give myself Moore temptation then I'm already dealing with." He took a sip of appletini. "Besides, I like Miriam better. It's not as awkward to say, both in pronunciation and connotation."
"Don't you worry about connotation, nuance, suggestion" she said suggestively, "You don't have a Chance anyway, understand, realize, comprehend?" She took a sip of his appletini, than licked the residue off her lips.
Chancellor closed his eyes, and focused on chocolate covered strawberries. "If you would, Miriam, go flirt with Benjamin; as far as I know, he's single."
"It is Benvolio." Ben corrected patiently from across the room. "And yes, I am single; though it is not like I have been trying very hard to change that, and I do not mean to say by admitting I am single that I would like Ms. Lexington to come over here… not that I would not enjoy her company, mind you, but I mean…"
"It's alright Ben" Kendra comforted. "Nobody's offended."
"Thank you, mademoiselle" Ben sighed appreciatively.
Chancellor sighed, laughing slightly under his breath. He looked at an empty bowl in front of him. "Well…" he shrugged. "I guess I'll go get Moore pretzels then…"
"Chancellor, NO! DON'T GET UP!" Cassie yelled from behind him. "Don't you know the old saying? 'When thirteen dine, the first to rise is the first to die!'"
A light bulb flashed on in Chancellor's head. "Oh! That's right! Mrs. Noble, I was wondering…" he leaned closer and whispered. "What exactly was wrong with that guy?"
"Which guy?" Kendra asked, smiling.
"You know…"
-Flashback-
Chancellor blinked. Was he actually seeing this? Behind him stood a tall, withered looking old man. White hair sprung out from his head, reminiscent of Beethoven or Einstein, and the fingernails on his right hand were at least eight inches long (his left hand's nails were cut down to the skin). Under his left armpit, he clutched a violin to his side.
"Like I said," the man rasped. "You can never have too much H.P. Lovecraft; it's like too much Beethoven, it's impossible to achieve." The man's eyes darted back and forth from Chancellor to Ben, as if not knowing just who to direct his hatred towards.
Chancellor blinked again, then nodded slowly. "Well…" he said awkwardly, "thanks for the input, Mr…"
"DuClaw" he said, extending his right, clawed hand. "Stradivarius DuClaw."
Chancellor took the hand gingerly, careful to avoid cutting himself, and shook it lightly. The man tore his hand away, and went to sit at the far end of the bar.
-End Flashback-
"Oh, him" Kendra recalled. "That's just old DuClaw. He's a prosecutor for Massachusetts circuit court."
"He is?" Chance asked, glancing nervously back at the man, who was giving him strange, creepy looks every now and again, "Then why… why haven't I seen him?"
"He's retired, mostly," Kendra explained. "They only pull him out of hiding for momentously important cases, or to crush an up and coming, undefeated rookie's spirit."
"I'm an up and coming, undefeated rookie!" Chancellor stressed.
"Yes…" Kendra nodded. "But I think that the bigwigs up in the prosecutor's office believe that forcing you to have at it with your girlfriend on a daily basis is a much Moore effective means of crushing your spirit, wouldn't you agree?" She took a sip of drink, and shook her head. "It's diabolical, what they'll stoop to."
"Well…" Chancellor began, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "I have no problem with it… but." He looked down. "I don't want to talk about it, in all honesty."
"WHAT!?" Cassie screamed, shocking Chancellor and causing him to fall to the floor. "You and Tanya are going though a rough patch, and you're not going to talk about it? That's insane! That's unhealthy! You can't let things like this stay bottled up inside for the rest of eternity! I can't stand that about men! They keep their inner feelings locked away, biding their time and hoping that everything will sort itself out, when in reality, the only thing that has to be done to solve it is have a nice, long, emotion-filled conversation! But of course, you're a 'man', so you feel you can't show emotion and you find decent conversation utterly and inherently boring! Yes, even you, with a woman's face and 'woman's intuition'! GOD! YOU'RE SUCH A GUY!" She panted heavily, and then took a drink of birch beer. (Yeah, the bartender was able to hold his ground. Give that man a Klondike Bar.)
Chancellor, still sitting on the floor, smiled. "I missed that," he admitted. "No matter how annoying and maddening I say it is in the future, I want you to know that I somewhat enjoy it, and if you ever stopped, a little part inside of me would die." He thumbed his nose at her. "How's that for emotion-filled conversation?"
Kendra laughed, slid off her barstool, and helped Chance up. "You're just so mature, you know that, Chancellor?"
"Which is why I deserve a junior partner slot in your firm" Chance said monotonously. "I also deserve a junior partner slot in your firm because…"
Kendra stifled another chuckle and shook her head. "You know, I might consider giving you a raise just for your sense of humor."
"It would certainly counteract the salary cuts I get from Mr. Thenue for the same sense of humor" Chance replied.
"Sense of humor…" muttered Morage, honked over a mason jar of beer, "Moore, I bet you don't even know what a sense of humor is."
"An aptitude for determining that quality which appeals to a sense of the ludicrous or absurdly incongruous!" came Alexis' voice from across the room.
"Mademoiselle…" Ben said softly. "I am not saying that you, personally, are irritating, but I believe that some people find your particular habit of defining things to be…"
"Oho!" laughed Noble. "She might drive you crazy at first…" he commented. "But wait a bit, and it'll feel alright!"
Chancellor groaned, and stood up, despite protests from Cassie. "I think I'm going to go get some fresh air, before I completely drown in idiosyncrasies."
"That's most likely being a good idea, laddie!" Culligan laughed. "I should be getting some fresh air too; you won't be minding if I'll be joining yeh?"
"Well that depends…" Chancellor mused. "Do you like chocolate covered strawberries?"
"Never had 'em in me life, I'm afraid" Culligan said, wondering why on earth he'd been asked that.
Chancellor's jaw dropped, and he stared at the Scotsman, dumbstruck. He reached into his sweater jacket pocket, and pulled out a small box. "We're fixing that" he said. "NOW!"
-Deck of the Ship. 9:21 pm.
"AHC!" yelled Culligan, spitting over the upper balcony. ("Happens all the time!" came Newton's voice from below.) "That's being the most disgusting thing I've ever been tasting in me life!"
"Your heart is tainted by evil, and you should die in a fiery pit surrounded by teachers constantly scratching their absurdly long nails on chalkboards, all the while being forced to dance the jitterbug to the tune 'Crazy Bus'" Chancellor asserted. Being Tanya's beau had had an… interesting effect on his insults.
"What on earth…" Culligan whispered. "Was that supposed to be a joke?"
"NO" Chancellor chuckled, shaking his head. "In my experience, people who don't like chocolate covered strawberries are evil. EVIL!" Chancellor lowered his voice comically. "You should be ashamed of yourself."
Culligan laughed, running a hand through his long black hair. "Let me be telling you, laddie, there are better things to be judging a man for then a like of candies."
"Then what should I judge you on?" Chancellor asked, leaning over the balcony. "I mean, seriously, all I know right now is that you're some dodgy old friend of my boss'."
"Well" Culligan began. "I'm being a fisherman by trade; I mostly be running a lobster outfit off the coast of Maine." He leaned over the balcony as well. "I used to be running a herring fishery in me native Scotland, but some corporate money-grabbers' were buying it up." He smiled, reminiscing. "I was first meeting Jack when he was settling that dispute, and earning me enough money to be coming over to America."
"A Maine fishery in lobster, huh?" Chancellor said absent-mindedly. "Then what are you in Boston, Mass. for?"
Culligan smiled broadly, getting up from the balcony. "Well, can't a Scotsman be seeing an old friend every now and again?" He eyed Chance curiously. "Certainly you're having some friends out of state, yes?"
"Heck, if I do, I wouldn't know it" Chance laughed. "Amnesia for everything before the age of fourteen, after all." He smiled, clutching his heart dramatically. "I've always liked to imagine that somewhere, maybe in Tennessee… or Georgia, there's a sweet Belle who had her high-school sweetheart tragically torn away from her." His smile widened. "As terrible as that would be for the girl, I actually find it amusing to think about."
"There's being nothing more heart wrenching than a girl stranded without her man" Culligan said solemnly, his smile fading.
Chance gulped, and stood up straight. Oops. "Sorry…" he apologized quickly. "I didn't mean to…"
"Ahc," Culligan brushed off. "It's nothing. All being in the past, laddie." He smiled, clapping Chancellor hard on the back. "Abyssinia, Moore."
Abyssinia? Isn't that a… nah. That's too obscure a reference, even for here. "See you later, Mr. Culligan" Chancellor replied, giving a short salute. Culligan returned the gesture, and then strolled off, eventually lost from sight by the large crowd still gathered on deck.
Chancellor sighed, and leaned over the balcony, observing the crowd wistfully. "Certainly, we're not boring you, are we Chance?" Chancellor looked up slightly, to see a smiling Ms. Aegis leaning against the balcony next to him. From one idle bit of small talk to another… "Nah" Chance shook his head. "It's just that formal events like this remind me too much of senior prom."
"Oro?" Aegis cocked her head. "I'm not sure what you mean."
"You know… the hype, the excitement getting there, the secret hope that sometime during the night, something will happen…"
Aegis chuckled slightly. "I don't know about that" she commented. "Sometimes it's peaceful when nothing happens, isn't it?"
Chance groaned. "Yeah, I guess you're right…" A light bulb went off. "Oh, TripleA?" He asked. "I was wondering… what was the whole… I mean, I don't mean to pry, but…"
"You sound like Ben" Aegis commented, shifting uncomfortably. "I know what you're getting at, Chance, and…" her voice trailed off. "It's just something in the past. It doesn't really concern you." She smiled slightly. "Not to brush you off, or anything."
"No, fine, I understand…" Chance said, shifting so his back was against the railing. "One Moore question, though…" he continued. "Who's… Barry?"
Aegis grunted slightly, and looked away. "Noticed that, huh? I suppose…" she paused. "He's someone who used to work at the firm. That's true enough." She looked Chance in the eye. "And like I said earlier, it doesn't really concern you." She bit her lip. "I never should have brought him up…" she muttered, walking away, "…always been a touchy subject…"
Chance watched her go, then groaned and flung his arms out. "Good gravy, when is something going to happen?" He yelled to the heavens.
-One hour, ten minutes later.
"Whoa, whoa!" Zak Newton said after colliding with Culligan. "What's the big hurry, buddy?" Culligan had been running down the stairs from Noble's room, and had run into Zak, who was standing at the bottom. "What's that you've got in your hand?" Zak asked, referring to a slip of paper the Scotsman was clutching.
"Th… this?" Culligan stuttered. "Nothing! This is… this is…"
The young police officer took the paper from the Scotsman and looked it over. His face fell from a cheery smile to a concerned frown, and he glanced at Culligan suspiciously. "Detective Spade?" Zak called. "Keep a good eye on this guy, will you?" He climbed the steps, took a deep breath, and opened the door to Mr. Noble's room.
Two minutes later, Zak came out of the room, eyes wide. He stepped shakily down the stairs. He gulped, and then addressed Tracy Spade.
"Oh my God…" he whispered. "Th… they killed Kenny."
-
Author's note corner (if you're just here for the story, stop here)
And the foundation has finally been laid! Case three can officially begin!
I began to feel a bit like Chancellor writing these chapter, wondering, 'When can I kill someone? When can I kill someone?' The amount of self-control it took to wait until all the background/vital information was written is applaudable. So go ahead. Applaud. I'm waiting.
Thank you. Anyway, it's Chancellor's Tenniversary! In honor of this special event, we have… nothing!
OBJECTION!
"That's not fair!" Chancellor objected. "We should do something special!" He pouted. "It's not every one of your stories that makes it this far… in fact, this is the first one that doesn't have Roronoa Zoro as a main character!"
Amaxing sighed. "Fine then, Chance. What do you propose we do?"
"Well…" Chancellor mused. "Could we maybe do the 'Hare Hare Yukai dance?"
"How on earth do you put something like that on paper?" Max asked, exasperated.
"True' Chancellor commented. "Maybe we could… tell everyone your real name?"
"Oh yeah, that's safe" Max commented sardonically. "Maybe I should tell them where I live, and post a picture of myself up in Google Image Search as well, eh?"
"Well…" Chancellor thought, slightly embarrassed. "I suppose you could… write me a theme song?"
Max thought for a minute. "Like, and actual theme song, or like background music?"
"Background music, sure!" Chance smiled. "Why not?"
"Again, that's hard to do on paper…" Max muttered. "But, what the heck, I do happen to think of these things while I'm trying to fall asleep at night. Background music for some! All copied from Ace Attorney!"
Chancellor: Well, to be honest, he gets the April May/ Lotta Hart/ Desi Delite ditz music.
Spade: GUMSHOE'S THEME! Total awesomeness.
Cassie: Tough one. I'm pretty sure she gets the ditz music too.
Morage: He gets a jazzy version of the 'Turnabout Sisters' theme.
Liam: Yup, he's still included. Hard rock version of Ema's theme.
Tanya: The Fragrance of Dark Coffee… because honestly, what song in the game is Moore seductive?
And… that's all I've thought of. Don't ask for Moore! You will pay!
Name Origins:
Kendra Noble: As insensitive as this might seem… I named her Kendra just so I could make the 'They Killed Kenny' reference. Yeah… You can go ahead and kill me now. The children in Atlanta, Georgia will thank you.
Character In-Depth: Jacopo Noble.
I figure I'll give you a decent profiling of the guy before he finds out his wife is dead. Just seems fair.
The speech pattern. Why do I have so many characters with strange speech patterns, you ask? Ah, that's because I'm a strange person. Elementary, my dear Watson.
Anyway, I've thought, on several occasions, that there are so many songs out there now; a person could, with enough musical knowledge, converse in everyday conversation using only lyrics. Quite frankly, my musical knowledge is… not that diverse. Nevertheless, I shall give it my all. And use Google if necessary.
So… he and Kenny have been married for… how long? : About twenty-five, thirty years. Heck, let's take the average of that and say twenty-seven, unless it somehow contradicts the story later.
Of all the songs in all the world, which is his favorite? : Since he's been exposed to nearly every song on the planet (huge record collection we're talking here) he's concluded that the best song in the world is 'American pie' by Don McLean.
Middle name? : What? Not asking it cutely anymore? Alright then, it's Randolph… for no particular reason other than that's the first name that popped into my head as I was writing this.
What are the answers for chapter one? I want to know if I got bonus points!
Alright, alright then. The songs referenced, in order, were:
'A little less 'Sixteen Candles', a little more 'Touch me'', by Fall Out Boy.
'What a wonderful world', by Louis Armstrong.
'You're the one who's out of this world', from Alf.
'Dude looks like a lady', by Aerosmith.
Sixteen Candles, referenced a second time.
'Off we go into the wild blue yonder'… does that have a corresponding artist?
'My turn', by Reba McEntire
'Pirelli's Miracle Elixir', from Sweeney Todd.
'Take your time', by Buddy Holly.
'You give love a bad name', by Bon Jovi. (Yes, the line really is 'you're to blame', I checked.)
-Nine songs, one quote twice, just like I said! Am I good, or what?
That one was worth… 1000 points, for those of you keeping track. No partial credit.
Hint for Chapter two: There are eight songs referenced in chapter two, no repeats.
Learn Russian!
Today, we're going to learn a phrase! Fun, huh?
КАК ВАШ(A) ЗОВУТ? (Pronounced kahk va-sha za-voot): KAK means 'How' (and yes, you can be immature and laugh at how it's pronounced). ВАШ is the adjective 'your'; ВАШA is the feminine, if you were to ask a girl this question. Finally, ЗОВУТ means something along the lines of 'what you are called' or, Moore simply, 'name'. Literally, it means, 'How are you called?', but a better translation is 'What's your name?'
Technically, though, the answer doesn't have to be your real name. If you have a nickname that people usually call you by, you'd answer the question with that instead of your actual first name. I.E. If, for some reason, my friends called me 'Bucket Head' (it's not true!) and a Russian asked me that question, I'd respond 'Bucket Head' and not Max. (Even though Max isn't my real name either… yeah.)