A/N: Zin: Two chapters in one day. We're on a roll.

Em: Wheat or rye?

Zin: Baaaadddd joke.

Em: Yeah, I know. *cheeky grin* Anyway, if you can't tell, this takes place during Failsafe and Disordered.

Zin: We don't own Young Justice, Owl City, or Walk the Moon. I do own Creatonia and Ren. Emu owns Screech. Enjoy! :)

1/17/19: Update: Ren's backstory changes.

-Zin

October 16, 2010

It's not real.

It's not real.

It's not real.

Fire. Loudness. Nothing.

Ren awoke with a start. She jolted up and looked around the room she was in, to find herself in the Cave. It was only a dream. Only a dream.

Glancing around she saw her other teammates waking up and looking very shaken. It turned out not to be a dream, but a simulation. Batman and Martian Manhunter began to explain what had occurred.

"Though consciously Miss. Martian knew it was not real, her subconscious mind could not make that distinction. She forgot it was only an exercise and her subconscious took control, making most of you forget too."

Batman looked over, "Most?"

"While I was in the simulation, the Team was linked mentally to communicate. Fantasia kept repeating the line 'It's not real' in her thoughts. I wasn't sure what she was doing until we were released. Due to Fantasia's intense mental training with me, she knew what the Martian subconscious felt like in her mind. Meaning, when Miss. Martian's subconscious took control, Fantasia was mentally prepared and able to resist her overwhelming influence."

Ren let out a breath. She did it. She was able to stay in control against Miss. Martian. The girl glanced over at Batman, who gave her a nod. A signal telling her 'good job'. She had to hide a smile, for she knew it wasn't the right time to be in a pleasant mood.

'And what if you had lost control. You have no clue what your powers are really capable of, do you? What if, you thinking it was real combined with the power to manifest your imagination made the simulation a reality. What if you were the cause of the end of everything.'

The Creatonian froze. That voice again. Whatever it was, it had a point. What… What would have happened?

The girl's mood suddenly dropped and mimicked the rest of the Teams. As soon as the Team was allowed to leave, they all gathered in the kitchen. Ren felt her heart lurch for her teammates. She felt guilty for not having to have fully experienced what they had in the simulation.

Autumn was standing next to Conner, leaning against the counter. She honestly didn't know what she was feeling, aside from wanting to get out, away from the mountain and the depressed air about it. But she had the thought that it probably wasn't what she should be feeling.

The best way to describe it was numb. Not even indifferent. It was like she had just been watching as a bystander, as though it wasn't her teammates who were dying around her...

Like one hadn't outright sacrificed his life for her.

She sort of wished people would stop doing that. First her parents, then her peer. At least this last one was just a simulation.

Ren eyes traveled from Wally and Artemis, to Autumn and Conner, to M'gann who was curling in on herself, and finally landing on the Boy Wonder sitting next to her. She placed a hand on his shoulder, making him look a her.

Without words, she was trying to remind him that everything was okay. That she was still there for him. Thankfully, a small smile told her that he got her message.

Honestly, Ren was just as shooken up as the rest of the Team but in a different way. She was terrified. She still didn't have complete control of her powers. All she wanted was to put in her music and drown out the world.

Now she just didn't need to gain control in honor of her father, but for the safety of others.

What if she ended up hurting someone? The Team? Mom? Bats? Robin? Her brother?

No.

She couldn't take that risk. Not now, not ever.

The Gotham night sky was cloudy once more. Ren sighed and shut her curtains. Looking at the clock she saw it read 11:46 PM. Her mom would still be home soon, Gar hopefully was asleep, and her homework was reluctantly completed.

She got her acoustic guitar out from its case and began to mess around with some chords. She found herself playing and singing along to Bird With a Broken Wing by Owl City.

She stopped short when she saw her bedroom door open out of the corner of her eye. A head of ebony hair peaked around the door, silently asking to come in. Ren sat her guitar on the floor and nodded. With Bruce out on patrol all night and them still dealing with what had occured only hours before, both her mom and Bruce were quick to accept the kids suggestion of a sleepover at the Logans.

Dick walked in and sat next to Ren on her bed. The Creatonian turned to her best friend, "How are you holding up?"

He looked down, "I've been better. How about you? You seem to be like the rest of us, even though you knew it wasn't real."

Ren swallowed. Should she tell him? Should she talk?

No. She didn't need to add worrying about her to Dick's emotional agenda. "Just because I knew it wasn't real, doesn't mean seeing my friends die didn't affect me."

And that wasn't a lie. It just wasn't the whole truth.

She nudged him with her shoulder, "C'mon. What's going inside of that head of yours?"

Dick sighed, knowing it wasn't any use to avoid the subject. Besides, talking about it with Ren usually helped quite a bit. He started to talk about how he felt that he failed as a leader. How he felt guilty for having to have done what he did. How he didn't want to be leader as bad anymore.

His head hung low as he said, "I don't think I wanna be… the Batman anymore. I don't have his drive. I'm not him."

Ren's heart tugged and she wrapped an arm around his shoulders, "Of course not, Dick. No one can be Batman like, well, Batman. You are your own person, your own hero and a brilliant one at that. You're you. Don't feel bad about that."

His blue eyes looked up at her, "Thanks, Princess. It's easier to admit knowing that I've at least got you on my side."

She smiled, "I'm always going to be on your side."

Dick gave her a smile in return and pulled the girl in for a hug. The Creatonian returned the embrace with a grin. Letting go, the Boy Wonder flopped back on her bed, taking Ren down with him.

They lied next to one another, staring at the ceiling. He turned his head to look at her, "You know what I want?"

"Nutella s'mores?"

"You know me too well."

October 23, 2010

The air swept under Autumn's wings, taking her higher into the atmosphere. She knew she probably should've waited until her session with Canary, but she couldn't take being in the Cave any longer. She had to get out.

So she had mumbled a quick excuse about going for a flight and left.

It wasn't just the suffocating air of depression around the Team that made her leave, really. She needed to process what happened. Seven days after, and she was still sorting through it all. She hadn't even been there for the entire thing! Not like M'gann, Robin, Wally and Tasia. She could only imagine what they were feeling.

She still hadn't shaken off the numbness of it all. As happy as she would be to stay in that state, she knew the problems emotional numbness caused by unprocessed grief could cause. So that was her goal. Process all this and get it over with.

But what she really wanted to focus on was Superboy.

In the simulation, Robin had assigned Conner and Autumn as distraction and backup. It hadn't taken long for Autumn to join in the fight with Conner, and the two had held their own fairly well.

Until one of the beams had come straight for her from behind. She hadn't noticed it, but the clone had. He had come running at her yelling, "Look out!" She had looked behind her, saw the beam, and just before it hit her, Conner pushed her away.

And then he was gone.

Forget fight or flight, she froze, and in her distraction, was hit by the next beam that came her way.

Why had he done that? Why had he sacrificed his life for her? He barely knew her! It was like what happened a month before, when he had insisted upon helping her with her sprained wing. Why had he bothered? They were just teammates, school peers, and acquaintances.

Or... did he see them as friends? Was it possible? Or was he just noble, in his own way?

Autumn sighed. People were confusing.

After a few more minutes of flying around, she saw something leaving the cave and flying away.

Wait... Speak of the devil, was that Conner?

She flew faster to catch up, and indeed it was the Kryptonian clone.

"Conner? What are you doing out here?"

The boy looked over at her. "I could ask you the same thing."

"Oh, just going for a flight. Needed to get out. What's your story?"

"...Basically the same as yours."

"Mind if I tag along, then?"

Conner turned his attention back to the sky ahead. "Don't care."

"Okay then, you've got a hitchhiker." She continued to fly besides him.

Ren leaned against the chair staring at the woman directly in front of her. They had been holding an unintentional staring contest for the past three minutes. Finally, Dinah leaned towards the girl. "How are you doing?"

"Fine."

"Aren't you always." Dinah let a tiny bit of deadpan tone leak into her voice.

Ren nodded in confirmation, "I am, actually."

"You saw your friends die right in front of you. You can't tell me that didn't affect you at all."

It did. "It wasn't real. I knew this."

"Serenity, you know you can talk to someone about this, right?"

"I don't need to talk about it."

Dinah sighed, "What about your powers?"

The Creatonian froze. "What about them?"

"Martian Manhunter told me about how much you were fighting against M'gann. Why were you so resilient? Didn't that use up a lot of your Mental Energy?"

Ren squared her shoulders, "It was part of my training to resist Martian mind influence. And yes, it did. But, I wasn't going to let her win."

Dinah mentally noted how the girl's tone had become very straight-forward and businesslike. Almost as if she was going into defense mode. She leaned back in her chair, knowing that pressing the Creatonian would get her nowhere.

She just wished that Ren would talk to someone. She was able to get people to open up and talk so easily and Dinah would always wonder what she had against opening up herself.

Keeping in all those thoughts and emotions couldn't be doing her much good.

When Autumn and Conner had returned from their misadventure with the Forever People later that night and gave their report, Dinah had called Conner into her office for his session, leaving Autumn to wait her turn.

She had put in her earbuds as loud as she could stand to avoid accidentally eavesdropping on anything as she gazed into space, which is why she jumped half a foot when Canary tapped her shoulder. Turning off her music and stuffing it into her pocket, she followed the heroine and sat in the chair opposite her.

Thirty seconds ticked by in silence, the owl gazing down at her lap the entire time. Unable to take the silence, she looked up and gestured helplessly. "Well? What do you want me to talk about?"

"Let's start with how you're doing," Dinah said gently, leaning forwards.

"I'm alright." The girl's gaze returned to her lap.

Canary sighed. "Autumn, I know something's wrong. I've known you long enough. Won't you tell me?"

Slowly, the Thanagarian looked up. "Well, I'm alright now. I'm waiting for it to hit me. It did with my parents, and I don't care about these guys any less than my original family... So it's probably just some psychological numbness protection. Right? And I can deal with that. I have people to go to when that wears off." She shot a faint smile at the heroine, then it dropped. "And it may sound weird, but it's not really my death, or my friends' deaths, that's bugging me right now."

"Then what is it?"

"Do... do you know all that happened, during the simulation?"

"Yes, J'onn told me." What was this about?

"So you know how Conner died."

Oh. "I do, but maybe you should explain." The owl looked hesitant. "Remember what I told you a few years ago? A burden shared is a burden lightened. It's scientifically proven."

Autumn took a shuddering breath. "Okay. Well, what's bothering me is how... readily Conner pushed me away from that disintegration beam. How instinctual it was to give his life for someone he's only known for a few months. How I've pretty much killed three people because... because I couldn't fend for myself. If I had just paid attention and seen the shot coming for me, Conner wouldn't have had to be hit in my place. Essentially, his death was my fault. And then I let myself get killed seconds later." The twelve year old slumped back into her chair, and she choked up a little. "I don't understand why people keep sacrificing themselves for me." I don't deserve it.

Artemis stayed behind for the entire team. I could've helped her, why didn't I help? And Kaldur didn't think twice about sending J'onn through the zeta tubes. If it had ended there, I would've never seen those two again. Ever. The only ones who survived to the end were M'gann and J'onn. If that were actually real, they- we would all be gone. Dead. Forever. And there was so much I probably could've done to help that I didn't do. She felt her eyes start to burn. Closing them and shaking her head hard, she thought, miserably, Great, I'm breaking down. Why here? Why not tonight when I'm alone?

However, when the first tear broke loose, she didn't stop the rest. Curling into herself on the chair, she let the tears flow down her face in rivers.

Dinah watched and her gaze softened. "Oh, Autumn," she whispered. She stood up and walked to the other chair, picking the young girl up and sitting down with her on her lap. "It's okay."

Not even caring that she was being treated like a little kid, Autumn wrapped her arms around the older woman's neck and sobbed into her shoulder as Dinah rubbed her wings soothingly.

They continued on like this, the only sound in the room being that of Autumn's crying and Canary's gentle whispers, until the owl slowly cried herself out. Pulling away from Dinah's shoulder, but not leaving the chair, the girl wiped her face and eyes with her sleeve. "Sorry."

The older heroine smiled gently at her. "Don't be. It's what I'm here for."

Autumn nodded and got off the woman's lap. Canary simply crouched down to the girl's height. "Remember, if you need to talk about anything, just come find me."

"I know." Autumn shot her a small smile and hugged her. "Thank you," she said before wiping her face again, exiting the room, and going to her own.

She definitely did feel a little better after that. But she would never admit that she liked being mothered sometimes... and that it was probably a big part of what had helped.

Ren sat indian-style on her bed with WALK THE MOON blasting into her ears.

It had been a few hours since her session with Dinah. When she got back, it was Dick's turn to go in. The pink-haired girl didn't stray far from the soundproof room, so when the Boy Wonder exited looking the opposite of traught, she pulled him in for a tight hug.

He then went to start his daily training with Bats. With him gone and the rest of the team still shaken up, the girl retired to her Cave room.

Her mind was still buzzing with what could have happened if she hadn't been in control of her mind.

Would she have made it real?

Would it have replaced their current reality?

Would it have created a whole new reality?

'I am as unsure as you are, my little Dreamer. All I know is that you might have caused the end. You would have ruined the world. Caused pain to the world.'

Ren shuddered as the whisper of the voice passed through her mind once more. It was right again. She might have.

The Creatonian was snapped out of her thoughts by a tap on her shoulder. She took out an earbud and look up to see Autumn standing in front of her. "Uh, hey. Sorry to bother you, but we're all going to watch a movie. Want to join?"

Ren nodded, wanting a semi-normal night with her friends. She paused her music and wrapped up her earbuds. When she looked up, she saw Autumn still awkwardly standing there. Ren walked over and ruffled her hair, "You okay?"

Autumn gave her a playful glare as she fixed her hair, then shot her a small smile. "I will be."

The taller girl nodded as she accepted her friend's response. As the Creatonian and Thanagarian exited the room, Ren finally got the feeling of normalcy for the first time all week.

Things were going to be fine.

Just like they always were.

Fin