This chapter is probably the shortest one I've ever posted in this entire series. Honestly, I wanted to tie in a lot of loose ends before I really crack down on the Trials. Those are going to be really fun to write! I knew there are characters that needed to be shown. So, this is sort of a filler again... but then it's not a filler really... I guess what I mean by 'filler' is it isn't as exciting as I usually like to type. A lot of dialogue and not a lot of action. It's interesting, but not as interesting as things being blown up and stuff. Rambling, sorry, moving on...
I guess let's just say now that I am on the edge of the Trials, my muse has come back in full force.
Well, done with this. Now read!
The top of a mountain – the view of the entire Northern Empire was at his toes. Zaibach's capital city was a few miles to the east, but he could still see the peak of the Black Castle poking through the blanket of silver clouds. He stood on shaky legs; his bare feet scraping against the rugged stones that jutted out of the precipice. After moon cycles of silence, the wind was shrieking blindingly loud in his sensitive ears. The howling tempest tore the draping rags that hung uselessly on his thin limbs and snaked a deathly cold right into his bones. He was shivering violently, but he couldn't bring himself to care. The long chains that had bound him were temporarily broken. To him, this ferocious gale was like the washing of his captivity. His long silver hair whipped into his face and tickled his nose. He hadn't realized it'd grown so long. His gray eyes staring at the wide open spaces above and below him, he realized his lips and tongue were dry from his open mouth. He was literally drinking in the freedom.
He knew this was only another branch of torture, but his spirits couldn't help but lift as he spied a flock of large birds flying underneath his feet. This would probably be the end of him anyway. Give him a delicious taste of fresh air and wind then snatch it all back from his groping fingers. He understood he'd die as soon as they chained him back up. But at least – as he died alone in that disgusting cell – he had this gift to carry with him into the afterlife. Maybe Folken would allow him to end it right here and now. Maybe he'd be granted the reward of letting gravity take his life. The ultimate free-falling plunge into eternal slumber. Dilandau couldn't think of a better way to go.
"Feels nice, doesn't it? Albatou have always been in love with heights. Makes it feel like you are on top of the world." The deep voice didn't need to call out through the pulsing wind streams to be heard. Dilandau could practically read the man's thoughts.
"I'm not your family," he replied through his trembling voice. The blast of wind coated his parched throat and he coughed violently.
"You really don't see the family resemblance?"
He didn't reply. Couldn't reply. As if betraying him, the long strands of his unusual silver hair rose into the air as the intense winds shifted instantly from northwest to northeast. He was pushed slightly forward, his heels rising off the ground; closer to the edge.
"I brought you here for a reason, Dilandau."
"I know that."
"I brought you here because I want you to make a choice."
"I know the choice. You've been asking me to make the same choice all this time. During the worst of my time here, you have tried and tried to change my mind. Just because you cast off my chains, you think I am any different? I won't ever betray Van. I will never be branded as a traitor."
"I am proposing a different choice this time."
Dilandau opened his mouth, but remained silent. His weak mind soaked in Folken's words slowly. The man was a manipulator. He was playing a game with him. Dilandau tried to focus his scrambling thoughts, but a fierce, freezing blast of wind ripped through his clothes and made him take a staggering step forward. The toes of his feet touched the brink of the cliff.
A slice of panic ripped through him and he let out a wild cry. A warm hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him backwards. He stumbled on loose stones before falling on his backside painfully. Panting with a wheezing breath, his eyes stung horribly. His palms throbbed horribly where he'd tried to catch his fall. The prominent bones in his legs and knees were trembling with the fear – and relief.
"The choice I'm giving you is much simpler." Folken continued as if nothing had happened. "I have had you in my grasp for long enough. I understand your unyielding loyalty to your country. I understand your great love for Van Fanel. I understand your camaraderie with the Vehotus."
His gray eyes blinked up at the tall shrouded figure standing beside him. Though the wind brushed aggressively on his black cloak, Folken's long body remained an imposing force against the strong element. However, the man's scarlet eyes were softer than Dilandau ever thought possible. The piercing demon that had raged in his cell had disappeared from this man's face. He looked almost peaceful, his mind in a tranquil contemplation. It made Dilandau boil with rage. Struggling to his feet, he yelled hoarsely, "Why bring me here? What is the point in this? What is the point in any of this? Keeping me in a cell locked away for ages and ages? Now standing me on a mountain to feel the last dregs of freedom before you lock me up again? What is the game this time, Folken? I'm tired of this. I'm tired of all of this."
"You don't seem to be tired."
"I am. I'm tired of your manipulation. I'm tired of wondering why I'm not dead like everyone else in my Infantry. Why am I still alive even though I refuse to join you?"
"I am not trying to manipulate you. I'm trying to make you realize something."
"This is what I mean!" He gestured wildly to the cliff, his bony pale arm shaking with fatigue and anger. "Why did you pull me back just now? Why didn't you just let me fall? Just forget about trying to change me! Kill me already and let this be over!"
"That is a choice I am leaving up to you."
Once again, Dilandau found his mouth open, but no words came. He stared hard at the emotionless man as his hand fell back limply to his side. The open air, the chilling freedom, the wind brushing against his skin – it no longer held the inviting visage. His empty stomach gave a hurling lurch and his heart leapt into a sporadic rhythm as his gray eyes danced to the edge. Swallowing down the gasping panic that threatened to overtake him, he made himself take a step closer to the precipice. He had thought before that falling would be a gift. If he was granted that decision, he'd make it without hesitation.
So why… why when the end was so close did he want to back away?
"When you looked out only minutes ago, you saw the world at your feet. It was exhilarating, was it not?"
Dilandau face felt cold. Reaching up, he realized there were tears trailing down his sunken cheeks. Was he crying because of disappointment, fear, or self-loathing?
"And now when you look, you see the ground. You see how hard you'll fall. You can't do it, can you? You can't kill yourself."
"I… I…" His words were choking, dying in his throat.
"I know what you feel. I felt the same long ago when I was given a similar set of choices. To conquer the world as far as the eye can see or to plummet to my death. I chose to make myself who I am today because I am a survivor. I refuse to give in to my weaknesses. You are just like me. We are both Albatou, after all."
"I am nothing like you…" Dilandau whispered into the horrifying abyss. A blasting chill rocked him closer to the edge once more.
"Why do you fight me still? I am not going to hurt you anymore. I brought you here so you could make a choice. I brought you here to help you realize what you are blind to see."
"I keep telling you I am not-"
"Where is Van Fanel, Dilandau?"
The question hit him like a solid punch. He sucked in an unstable breath and turned around to put his back to the outstretched world and face the man's red eyes. Van had red eyes, too. His were different from this man's; warmer, stronger, brilliant. Folken's crimson orbs were frightening. They were narrowed questioningly at Dilandau now, obviously waiting for his reply.
After several minutes of silence, Folken asked, "Has he come to save you?"
Dilandau couldn't reply. His frail mind was breaking. A burning bitterness whelped in his throat and he clenched his fists. He tried to feel for his core, but it was quiet. He was too weak to summon the vox. He was too weak to fight. He was too weak to stop himself from seeing the truth.
As Dilandau slowly turned back to face the open space, he never saw the glint of triumph in Folken's red eyes.
"Has he come to save you?" the general repeated.
There was only one answer. And Dilandau had to say it.
"No."
Settling himself in the high-backed chair, the tall young man swallowed down his rising questions as he fixed his eyes on the old man sitting in front of him. Though it had only been a week since Amano's return from training, he noticed the aged general had gained several wrinkles since the last time he saw him. His white hair flopped in uncharacteristic disarray as if he'd been pulling on it for hours. His bright and cheerful eyes had a dull sheen like he had the weight of the world on his mind.
"You wanted to talk to me?" Amano asked slowly.
"Yes, yes, I do." The general replied, blinking his foggy vision and shifting himself straighter in his chair. "I wanted to talk to you. I'm glad we have finally found some time to talk in private. What with you gallivanting about the country…yes, I wanted to talk to you. Yes…"
A silence fell between the two of them and a far off clock chimed a half past the hour. Amano licked his lips and tapped his finger on the armrest of his chair. With a large sigh, Chester nose whistled as he exhaled.
"Private Susumo, I heard about your training session in the capital. You passed the test with high expectations."
Amano straightened in his chair with pride. "I did."
"I must congratulate you on getting an offer from the command program."
"Thank you, sir."
"When do you plan to back to the capital?"
"Not till next year, sir."
"So, I still have you till then?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good, good, good." The general nodded absentmindedly to himself.
"Sir?"
"Hmm?"
"Why did you call for me? If you wished to congratulate me, you could have done so at the party tomorrow."
"That I could, that I could, indeed. You are absolutely correct. I could, indeed…" the general trailed off once more. His wizened face suddenly twisted itself into a painful expression. "There is a matter in which I'd like to speak to you about, Private. This pertains to your missing step-sister…"
Amano blanched, but quickly recovered. His heart sped up a few paces and he tried to relax his breathing. "Hitomi? What does Hitomi have to do with anything?"
"I know you miss her, Amano. I hardly knew the girl, but I found her immensely charming. I know you, son. I know how you are feeling right now." An expression of sympathy enveloped the old man's face. "You are trying to bury yourself in work. You did well in the training, but I want you to think hard about your decision to leave here. Is the capital really where you want to be at this moment in your life? The army is a rough political system."
"I appreciate the warning, sir, but there…" Amano glanced away from Chester's wise eyes and looked at the pens lined on his mahogany desk instead. "There is nothing for me here."
"There is the Uchida family. I know they all love you. They will miss you. And – though I don't want to admit it – I will miss you most of all." The general's face dimpled kindly as he gave the young man a warm smile. "Give yourself more time to think before you leap too quickly into command school. You are still young and fresh. You could try to build more of a reputation at this station."
"What are you implying, sir?"
"Please, give yourself a break."
"What kind of break are you suggesting?" Amano tapped his finger against the arm rest once more.
"Just give yourself several months to settle down."
"I am settled. I am excited about this new opportunity and I promise I won't let you down."
Chester's white eyebrows rose and he nodded slowly. "I know you won't, son, but that is not the issue here."
"What is the issue then, sir?"
"Tell me honestly," the general placed his elbows on the long wooden desk and laced his fingers against his lips. "Why do you want to leave this place so much? What is your driving force for command school? And let me stress to you once more: be honest with me."
"It is a great opportunity for me to succeed in life. I have always dreamed of going to-"
"Son, I asked you to be honest with me." The lines on Chester's face turned downward.
The young man swallowed. "I-I've… lost everyone I've ever cared about, sir. My mother, my step-father, and now my little sister. I have no one left, but memories. I was the one who brought her here. And now she's gone. It's my fault she's missing. I… just don't want to be here anymore."
Chester was silent for another long moment. With a long inhale of breath, the old man reached over to grabbed one of his pens. "I have your form right here." Opening the top left drawer, he fished out a large stack of papers. "All I have to do is sign my approval of the transfer and submit it to my superiors. You might be on your way even before next year."
"I appreciate your understanding, sir." Amano nodded his dark head. Standing up from the chair, he turned to leave the room.
"I haven't signed it yet."
Stopping in his tracks, the young man swiveled around to stare in confusion. "W-what? I thought you-"
Chester flipped casually through the pages covered in small writing. Fishing out his glasses from his front pocket, he straightened them on his thick nose before saying, "There is a segment right here on the thirty-second page, sections three and four; I'll sum it up for you. I believe the person in question for promotion to higher rank to be of stable mind. Here in by making this decision, I am confirming the person in question is not using the promotion to command school as a means for other purposes, excluding the willingness to serve wholeheartedly for the wellbeing of Hospesland. From what you have just confessed, can I sign this truthfully, Private?"
Amano's mouth opened in shock. He immediately closed it and felt a sting of panic. "Sir, I didn't mean for it to sound like I was unstable. You asked me to be honest."
"And I am very happy you were. Your reasons for command school are not what they are looking for, Private.
The young man clenched his fists in frustration, but remained silent.
"You will be angry at me for a time, son, but I believe you can heal quicker by staying right here in Castra."
A wave of anger and disappointment ripped through the young man and froth ferociously in his belly. "So, you won't sign it, sir?" He asked through gritted teeth.
The general sighed, his old eyes filling with pain. "I wanted to put off this disappointment for you as long as possible. I cannot sign this honorably. You are unfit for command school until you learn to face your pain like a true leader, until you have Hospesland's best interest at heart, until you can step out of your own self-pity and seek help for your growing depression."
"Depression?" Amano's voice rose and it broke slightly on the word. He knew he was being very unprofessional, but he didn't care. Running a hand fiercely through his hair, he swallowed down the growing burning lump in his throat.
"I want you to stay here. I want you to keep your eyes open. I want you to understand that there is more going on here than you realize. Someday, maybe a long time from now, you will thank me for this."
A strained and painful pause fell between the two men. Finally, Chester stood from his chair; his back straight and tall. "That is all, soldier."
Amano took the dismissal with a quick bow and salute. Marching out of the office, he pressed down the hallway and out the squeaking white door. He didn't even notice the nervous old maid trying to hand him his coat. His mind was in a frenzy of irritation and anger.
"Eyes open…" he murmured to himself as he traveled down the dusty pathway. "What exactly am I supposed to be seeing in this dump?" The bright sandy roads and crumbling plants. There was nothing for him here. The weight of the general's decision fell like a thundering rock slide on his mind. His offer to command school. Rejected. He was stuck here. All because Chester thought he wasn't stable enough to handle it. All because his step-sister went missing. All because of some depression.
He wasn't depressed.
"Damn you, old man." Amano hissed under his breath. His gait slowed as he neared the small shops of Castra's little town. He immediately planted a pleasant look on his face as several of his fellow officers crossed his path. He kept walking even though one of them called out to him in greeting. Waving a hand in farewell, he continued down the street; moving closer and closer to the Uchida's property. He didn't want to go inside the house just yet, but he didn't want to stay out in this heat either. Honestly, he didn't know where he could go.
He just didn't want to be in Castra anymore.
The memory of Yukari's little garden made him press his lips in thought. He always liked that she tried to keep plants alive out here. Her small shrubs reminded him of Praeter's countryside. Passing the small fence, he stopped at the gate and looked out at the rows of neatly trimmed plants. Several little greens in the back were beginning to wither from lack of water. Glancing at the left corner, he noticed small weeds sprouting in the shade of the house. A brown apron billowed on a hook attached to far side of the fence. A row of drooping potted plants waiting to be planted lined the front. Amano glanced down at them with dark eyes. He was angry, frustrated, confused, and hurt.
All of his dreams of leaving this dusty town to become a commander had come to a crashing halt.
Grabbing the apron, Amano turned the thick fabric in his fingers. The burning in his throat had returned and he pushed it down roughly. He'd cried. Several weeks ago in fact. And it was here that he'd let his tears go. It was here Yukari had hugged him. The plants swayed in the sandy breeze and Amano sighed to himself.
"…More going on here than I realize…" he repeated dryly. "What does that mean? I am not depressed, am I?" The wilting plants fit his mood perfectly. He felt like he was wilting under this hot sun, all his dreams dashed away because of Hitomi's disappearance.
He just wanted to forget it all. He wanted to bury himself in something mundane. Looking around for anyone watching, he slipped the apron over his head and picked up Yukari's long rake.
Sitting down at the feet of her best friend, she lifted a hand to her chest, closed her eyes, and concentrated on what Balgus' had told her several days before:
"Keep breathing, keep breathing, and keep breathing. If you faint over anxiety before the Trials even begin, I will kick you so far you'll land back in Hospesland!"
It was so strange how comforting those words were to her now. Long ago when she'd left her country she would have snapped back at him with some rude retort. Now, if she wasn't being insulted in some form or fashion from the old man, she wondered about his sanity. Smiling absentmindedly, she felt her nerves calm with her steady breathing. She may have fainted when she'd first come into Fanelia, but the Hitomi from that time was long gone. Already, she felt stronger and tougher than ever before.
"Let me say again how glad I am to see you. Even if it is just for a few minutes. That armor looks better on you. Have you grown?"
Hitomi's smile grew wider. She reached up to touch the warm golden metal and she felt it hum happily underneath her hand.
"Millerna repined it again. I'm glad to see you as well. I'm sorry it's been a few days since my last visit. I've been busy training with Balgus."
"You are aware you have Trials today, little Pilot?" Escaflowne's white helmet screeched on his shoulders and his voice held a quiet, stern sound – like she was a child and she'd just gotten caught with her hand in a cookie jar. As his words bounced off the chamber walls and she felt Rutilus whirr with laughter.
"You are such a worry-wart, my love. She's here to speak with me about something. Don't fret so much. I'll make sure she gets to her Trials."
"Worry-wart?" Hitomi glanced at from the white to the gold and back again desperately fighting a bubble of laughter. "You're worried about me, Escaflowne?"
The white Guymelef's shoulder's shifted with a teeth clenching crunch. "No…"
"He is. He just won't admit it. I've told him all about you. He likes you."
Escaflowne grumbled under his helmet as Rutilus asked,"What do you want to talk about?"
"Actually, it's about your last Pilot… and it's kind of stupid."
"Uhhh… well, I'm not sure there's too much I can answer with the time limit we have going on."
"There is plenty of time before the Trials. I've got at least an hour to kill before Balgus starts yelling that I'm ill-prepared for anything and everything. I just wanted to know, the last Pilot… was she…"
"Was she what? Taller? Bigger breasted?"
"Stronger than you?"Escaflowne injected.
The green-eyed girl blinked in surprise. She nodded slowly, impressed that the Escaflowne could read her so well without ever being in her head.
He continued. "This is a good question. She didn't have Trials. This is a new custom. Well, new by my standards, at least. The Vehotus riders didn't begin until after The Great War."
"So, she wasn't tested? "
"She had me in her possession." Rutilus said."That was all the approval she needed."
Hitomi exhaled shortly with mild jealousy. "Lucky…"
"It's a different time now. Everything has changed. We live in a land of thieves and spies. Think of what happened just recently with that little boy. The kitsune could have killed all of you."
"But she didn't…"the redhead countered quietly. "She could have, but I didn't even get a warning vision about her. It makes me think she was never a real threat to Fanelia. I know I would have been warned about it with some kind of vision."
"Visions are tricky, Hitomi."
Hitomi shook her head. "Tricky or not, we are getting off topic here. You never answered my question: Was she stronger than me?"
"It's like you want me to play favorites…"The River sighed. "You want my opinion? Honestly?"
"Yes."
"You are both stronger and weaker in different ways. She had better control over my visions and vox manipulation. She transported like a pro while you haven't even moved an inch." Hitomi opened her mouth to retort, but was cut off quickly."-However, she wasn't as good at weaponwork as you. You've mastered your sword and are well on your way to getting this trident under your complete control. You've also got this thing with lightning… she never had that going for her. I'm sure you probably have other types of weapons waiting for you. If those are what you are good at then my vox will bless you with them. All in all, it's not a bad way to be blessed."
A fierce relief washed through her.
"I feel your emotions through your touch, Hitomi. You are more nervous about these Trials than you are letting on."
A twist in her stomach betrayed her. "I… I'm nervous not because of the Trials themselves. I know what to expect thanks to Balgus, but I… I have that bargain with Van…"
"What bargain with my Pilot?" Escaflowne rumbled out.
"Oooh, yeah, that one! I forgot about that!"
"What bargain?" Escaflowne asked again.
"I know. I really don't want to tell him."
"Well, it's your fault for agreeing to it in the first place. Besides, you might actually win."
"WHAT BARGAIN?"
Hitomi and Rutilus stopped as one and both turned their heads towards the bewildered white Guymelef. The River's golden helmet gave a clanking hiss as she laughed with the redheaded girl at her feet.
"I'll tell you later, my love." Rutilus giggled as she shifted her hand slowly and touched his draping fingers. Noticing the intimate moment between the two, Hitomi made a show of standing and stretching her legs.
"Well, I better be off to gardens. Balgus insisted on escorting me to the arena so I don't get kidnapped or something."
"Looks like you have two males fighting for the father figure position." The River joked and Escaflowne let out what must have been a huff. He brushed his hand closer to Rutilus'.
Walked towards the chamber door, the redhead nodded to the silent priest in red and he bowed lowly. As he opened the doors for her to leave, Hitomi turned back to yell, "Does that make you my mother figure, Rutilus?"
Laughing, she heard the River shout, "I'm not that old!" as the door shut behind her.
Still chuckling to herself, she strolled briskly from the Guymelef's Chapel towards the back gardens. Glancing up at the sun's position, she increased her speed as a pang of worry hit her. Maybe she should learn how to transport just so she wouldn't be late anywhere. It would be a bad idea to be late today. Especially if the old man was already waiting for her to show up.
Entering the left training gardens, she let out a small sigh of relief. She was the only one there.
Running to the middle of the field, she panted heavily.
"KANZAKI!"
She screamed, turning around to summon her sword instantly. The navy smoke cleared as Balgus' menacing figure strolled towards her. "Where-have-you-been?" He emphasized the words fiercely.
"Getting one last piece of advice before I shame myself in front of all the Clans of Fanelia, naturally." Hitomi replied placing a hand over her raging heart. Her chest burned slightly with her cracked core. "You scared the living daylights out of me! I'm still at least an hour early before the opening speeches."
The old man's heavy breathing and narrowed eyes told her he'd been worried about her. She wanted to roll her eyes, but couldn't.
Two father figures, huh? She smiled to herself as Balgus broke out into a verbal rampage about her carelessness and horrible punctuality. I think I can handle that.
I'll keep this short since I just got some work to do right after I posted this. lol! If you see any mistakes, please let me know. Also, if you want to know what has happened to Merle, sorry folks - you're gonna have to wait for a bit. :)
Because! Because! Because! The next chapter begins... THE TRIALS.
I hope you stay in tune for next time. Also, if you have any questions, comments, or wanna complain, feel free to PM me. I always try to answer every message sent that isn't anonymous. :) I appreciate all of the support and love this story has gotten all these years and I want every reviewer to know! Thank you for reading!
See ya next time!
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