Beta read by Seerstella

Chapter 9

Kuon's POV

After Nanao gave in to the medicine and fell asleep I went up to vent my anger on the source of it.

I found my father sitting in the living room, reading the newspaper like nothing had happened. The only thing that was out of place was a bruise under his left eye.

The bruise that I gave him… and I so wanted to make a new one under his other eye too. He had the galls to hurt Nanao… MY Nanao.

I felt my hands shaking as I regarded his stoic form. It was like he was daring me to hit him again… but I knew what he was playing at.

So I had to stop for a moment to calm down a bit, because I knew if I did something, he would punish Nanao for it. My Nanao would be the one suffering.

He didn't look up from whatever he was reading, not until I stopped right in front of him. Even then, his expression was so smug the urge to hit him rose again.

I took a deep breath and looked straight to his eyes.

"Why?"

"Why what?" he asked with feigned ignorance.

"Why did you hurt Nanao?" I tried keeping my voice steady.

"Nanao? Who…?" Suddenly a cruel smile appeared on his face. "You mean that 'thing'? I only taught him a lesson."

"He's mine. I told you not to touch him." I heard my own voice getting colder and harder.

"Why would I touch that dirty slut?" I could see that even the accusation made him sick. "He's undisciplined. Your methods aren't good enough."

"I told you I have a different approach."

"Yes. And it's not working."

"It is."

"Oh, so you slept with him?" His expression clearly showed that he knew the answer, and he didn't wait for me to say anything. "My friend wanted to play a bit, so I let him. What's the harm in that?"

"Harm?" I took a step back to stop myself before I started strangling my father, but I continued coldly. "He was half dead when I found him in your torturing room."

"I told you. He needed to be taught a lesson," his voice turned equally cold.

"What kind of lesson?"

"He needs to know his place." The look in his eyes almost made me shiver. Now, he was the monster everyone thought him to be. Now, he was the bastard who'd kill those who disobeyed him. "It's your fault," he continued with an evil grin on his face. "You made him believe that he can do whatever he wanted."

"I…" When I wanted to disagree he interrupted.

"Your little 'lover game' got him into this."

I felt my heart sink when I realized what he implied. Even though he knew that I understood, he continued.

"That thing is not your lover, but only a slave. If you make him believe otherwise, I have to take matters into my own hands."

"He's not my lover," was my only retort. I had to make him forget Nanao. I had to turn his attention somewhere else.

"You're not the only one who can use the camera in that room."

My blood went cold. The camera… why didn't I think about that? All the cameras could be accessed from the security room. And that meant…

He knows!

He knew I had feelings for Nanao. He saw what happened between us. He saw us kissing, reading, and talking. He knew I wasn't behaving the way a master should.

"Maybe now he knows what he has to do," he added with a dark smile.

"What did you say to him?" Something was wrong. He said something. He wants Nanao to do something.

"Hm."

After that he turned back to his reading and never looked back at me or said anything. I knew there was no reason for me to try talking to him anymore. He was not going to say anything else.

Going back to Nanao's room, I found Aniki there. He was removing the IV and checking Nanao's injuries.

"Aniki," I said to get this attention.

He looked at me seriously, taking out gauzes and gels to change the bandages. The only acknowledgement I got was a nod, as he proceeded to treat Nanao.

For I while I just stood there, watching him work. Nanao's injuries seemed to be getting better; however, a few angry scars remained.

Aniki noticed me watching and said softly, "Not all the scars will heal completely."

I knew what he meant. Some of the scars were so deep it was a miracle he survived. The burnt marks on his back were angry red, probably causing Nanao a great deal of pain.

"He's still burning up, but that will be over soon," Aniki started his diagnosis. "Nothing's infected, luckily. He has to drink a lot of water to make up for the lost fluid. And the medicine seems to be working. The blood disappeared from his urine too."

"You mean he's not going to be impotent?"

"Yes. But he needs time to heal. Let him rest and don't give him solid food. His rectum was badly damaged and it will take a lot of time to heal."

I nodded and he turned back to Nanao. As he took off the finger brace to take a look at his broken finger I remembered something.

Turning around, I reached out and wrenched the camera that was recording everything that happened in this room, leaving two cables behind. Opening the door, I threw the damn thing into the corridor and went back to Nanao's side.

"You know why he did this, right?" Aniki suddenly asked, and before I could say anything, he answered his own question. "He wants to punish you. You spend too much time with him. You speak fondly of him."

Every word he said was true. I knew he was right… but that didn't ease the pain I felt.

What should I do?

Nanao's important to me, but because of that he is in danger. However, if I left him alone, he would be sad and lonely.

I don't want that.

He was scared and alone when he needed me the most. But I couldn't promise him that this would never happen again. As long as he was here and my father was nearby, this incident could repeat itself, and I wasn't confident enough that I could stop it.

"What are you going to do?" I looked at Aniki as he asked that. I had no answer.

"First, he needs to get better." Aniki, again, answered his own question.

Suddenly, I heard something. We both stopped talking and I turned to Nanao to see him looking around frantically. It was obvious that he was not fully awake yet, but probably heard us and became scared.

As I stepped closer to calm him, he tried to focus on me.

"Nanao. Are you in pain?"

He shook his head, but the fear didn't leave his eyes as he started backing away from us.

Knowing how wary he was with strangers, I went closer and introduced my brother. However, his breathing quickened and his eyes remained wide. Looking at his hands I saw him gripping the sheets tightly.

He's scared of us.

I looked at my brother to ask him to leave, but it wasn't necessary. As I turned to him I saw him smiling sadly as he made his way towards the door. With a sigh, I turned back to Nanao. He relaxed a bit, but the fear was still shown in his eyes.

I didn't know what to do. He always trusted me, no matter who came into the room with me. However, now, even though we were alone, he seemed scared.

Deciding that giving him space was the best option, I left the room quietly.

As I mounted the stairs, I thought about what to do. Maybe the best option was to leave him alone for a while. That way, my father could forget about him and Nanao could relax a bit. It was probably hard for him to be near me right now.

I couldn't even imagine what happened in the days I was away, even though his injuries told me more than I wanted to know.

When I reached the living room, I noticed that my father was no longer there. Instead, my brother was waiting for me.

"Give him some time," he said with a serious expression. "He seems to be in a fragile state. If you do something wrong now, you can cause more harm than good."

"He lost his trust in me," I admitted quietly.

"He's just shaken. He'll g…"

"No." I didn't want to explain. I didn't want him to know that I failed Nanao, even though I said I wouldn't.

"Take care of him." With a sad expression he looked out the window and added. "Don't let the same thing happen to him. I don't want him to end up like Kae."

Kae. Aniki's slave.

"I won't let that happen! Never!" Thinking about that girl and what happened to her made me uneasy.

No. I'd rather kill my father than let him do that to Nanao.

With the bad memories swirling inside my head, I made my way into the kitchen to get something for Nanao. When I went back and helped him eat, he asked about the medicine. I was surprised it took him this long to ask, but I didn't want to hide anything, so I answered.

"Aniki gave it to you so you won't become…impotent."

I saw him panicking. Eyes widening, breathing quickening, hand shaking he looked down, but I could still see his expression.

He was scared… he probably didn't know how serious his injuries were until now.

I should stay away from him.

It was my fault. Everything was my fault.

He got into this house because I wanted him. He was locked in this dark basement because I didn't want to let him go. He was beaten and tortured because… because I thought of him as more than a slave. And he almost became impotent because I was too scared to lose his heart and didn't do what I had to do to keep my father away.

The only thing I had to do was make him mine, even if I had to use force, but I couldn't. He was very dear to me… and doing that would have caused him to not trust me at all.

I wanted to see his smile. I wanted him to smile at me… and so, I couldn't sacrifice that smile.

Maybe I should have…

"You'll be fine… soon," was all I could squeeze out as I left the room.

I had to get away from him. I felt miserably. I promised myself that I would protect him… that I would never let anything happen to him… and I failed.

He probably hated me now, and was just too scared to show it openly… and I didn't blame him.

As his owner, I had the responsibility to keep him safe… and I wasn't here when he needed me the most.

For his sake… I should stay away from him.

I tried keeping myself from touching him as much as possible. Every time I went to his room I spent only the necessary time there and left as soon as I could. Without a word, I gave him food, checked his injuries, changed his bandages, and cleaned him.

I didn't say anything, and he didn't talk much either. He probably felt better with me not in the room, so I gave him as much space as possible.

Soon, he was able to stand on his own, even walk a little. The injuries healed nicely, and I could reduce the time spent in awkward silence in his room.

However, as my brother said, not all of his scars disappeared. Every time I looked at them I remembered that I failed to protect what was important to me…. Nanao.

He probably noticed my discomfort, as one morning I found him wrapped in a shirt, waiting for me. From then on, he always had that shirt on to cover up his scars.

I knew he meant well, but that only made me sad and angry.

I was angry that he had to think of me. That he had to be considerate.

He didn't want to make me feel bad, even though I deserved it.

A few times Nanao tried talking to me, but soon gave up. I always answered his questions, but the atmosphere never seemed to be the way it was before.

The more time passed, the harder it was to be near him. Looking at him made me feel desperate.

Yeah, desperate and hopeless, because I didn't know what to do. I wanted to beat someone up so badly. Preferably my father. I wanted him to feel the same pain that Nanao felt.

At the same time, I wanted to be with Nanao, hug him, kiss him, but I knew I had no right to do that.

I was torn between turning into what my father wanted me to be, and running away with Nanao. But I knew that both of these were crazy, senseless thoughts.

I could never hurt anyone. I couldn't even get revenge and beat my father. Let alone hurt Nanao and force him to…

Never.

And running away… that was not an option. Where could we go? My father would find us, and I didn't even want to think about what he'd do to Nanao then.

So I did what I could.

I stayed away.

I gave Nanao food, but never waited for him to finish. I went back to get the plates and left without a word.

Our conversations were very limited. It always consisted of Nanao asking some simple questions and me answering briefly.

One time, when I took his plate, he touched my hand. That small gesture surprised me so much I jumped away from him.

He looked shocked for a moment, but soon turned away. Not knowing how to respond to this, I left the room as fast as I could.

Outside the door, I stopped to think.

Why did he do that?

I waited for him to make the first step. Was that it? Did he touch me to show me that he trusted me? Or is it just my convenient interpretation? Maybe it was just an accident.

I decided to wait for the next day. If he wanted to say or do something, I could probably read how he felt.

However, the next day he didn't say anything. He never tried touching me… and I found my answer when I realized he didn't even look at me.

He hates me.

He hated me because I didn't protect him. He hated me because I imprisoned him. He hated me because I forced my kisses and embraces on him.

Now I had no choice but to look after him and avoid him at the same time. From then on, he didn't say a word to me, nor did he look at me.

However one day, just as I put his food in front of him and was about to leave, he suddenly spoke,

"When will you take me outside?"

I froze at the door, eyes wide. I didn't want to turn back and see his expression.

"Soon," was my only reply as I finally left the room.

I didn't think he remembered that. He was rather delusional at that time.

However, his request wasn't an easy one to meet. I couldn't take him outside. My father would go berserk. And I was stupid enough to promise him a day outside. I had to come up with a better answer, because he was not allowed outside of this basement.

However, I didn't want to disappoint him either…

What to do now?

I noticed one more thing. He became more and more indifferent. His every move became robotic. But at the same time, he had mood swings, but none of the emotions that I noticed on him were positive. He seemed sad, depressed, lonely, hurt and a lot of times he just stared ahead.

There was a time when I noticed how red his eyes were. When I looked closer, I noticed the tear tracks on his cheeks.

He's been crying.

I didn't know what to do. Maybe my giving-him-time-and-space approach wasn't that good. Maybe I should make him say what he wanted… but that would not change anything.

He had to make the first move. Or was his attitude the answer?

He closed off. Maybe he didn't want anything to do with me?

That was probably true, so I had no choice but keep taking care of him silently.

Maybe that was the best thing to do. Father would hurt him, no matter what I did.

If I acted nice towards Nanao, than he would 'teach him a lesson', if I made him mine, he'd 'train him to satisfy me better', if I left him alone completely, he'd 'take care of him'. There was nothing I could do to successfully keep him away.

There was only one thing I could think of to keep him out of the room for a while.

Changing the lock.

And that was what I did. I asked the gardener, who was really good at things around the house, to change the lock. After that, I took the keys and hid them where no one would look for them.

That was the only way I could keep Nanao safe… relatively safe.

A few days later, Nanao asked the same question again.

"When will you take me outside?"

And I gave him the same answer.

I became angry. Angry at myself for saying that. I knew I couldn't take him out, so why did I promise him? Why did I still have the nerve to leave him hanging? As I was about to leave, he pressed further.

"That's what you said last time."

"And that's exactly what I meant," I knew I chose the wrong person to vent my anger on the moment the frustrated words left my mouth.

Why can't I say no to him?

I was pathetic… giving him false hope and then snapping at him when he questioned me. I became really angry at myself and so I left before I could hurt Nanao even more.

The expression he had on didn't leave me the whole day. He seemed hurt, sad, scared and… broken. He looked like someone who had given up on everything.

The next morning when I brought Nanao breakfast I found him lying on the bed, looking at the ceiling. He didn't acknowledge my presence, so I put the food beside him and left quietly.

An hour later, when I went back, I found the food untouched, Nanao motionless on the bed.

He didn't move at all. Not even when I called his name.

Thinking that he might be angry about yesterday, I took the plate and left him alone.

However, the same thing happened at lunch and dinner. The whole day, he just lay there, not moving, not saying a word.

I didn't know what to do. He didn't eat anything throughout the day. And the next day, the same thing happened.

I decided to ask for my brother's help, but his only advice was to let him be. Forcing him would not help at all.

I knew that. I didn't want to force him, but he had to eat something. He was way too thin.

He kept ignoring me for the next couple of days; however, a small portion of the food disappeared every time.

I tried attracting his attention by clanking the plates a bit too loudly, but it seemed like he didn't even notice me being in the room.

Maybe he needs more time.

I let him be, just as my brother said, but I kept thinking of ways to get his attention, to cheer him up a bit.

However, no good idea came to mind. He was locked up in a basement, after being raped and tortured. What could possibly cheer someone up after all this?

One day, when we were having breakfast, my father made an announcement.

"I'll be gone for a week starting the day after tomorrow."

My brothers and I were at the table with him, and none of us really wanted to know where he went, so all we did was nod and proceeded to eat our food.

Meals were always quiet in our house. Father didn't like chatter at the table and we all learnt that pretty soon. Not like any of us had ever wanted to talk to him so much. We all knew what he was like. Even Towa kept his distance with him.

It only occurred to me in the evening what his words meant. I decided to take action the next day, to prepare everything even before my father left.

The next morning I went to the small town nearby to get everything I needed to execute my plan. I hid the things I'd bought in my room and prepared what I needed.

Fortunately, my father decided to leave in the early morning, so I had time to prepare everything I couldn't do the previous evening and put the basket on the table in the living room.

The next thing to do was to get Nanao up.

I went to the basement and found him on his bed, looking at the ceiling, as he usually did in the last couple of days.

However, this time I took his hand and helped him up. For a moment he didn't budge, but my persistence paid off. He seemed surprised and confused, but didn't protest much as he stood up beside me. I practically dragged him to his small bathroom.

"Go take a shower."

He looked at me questioningly, but did as he was told.

When I heard the sound of running water, I went back to the living room and gathered the new clothes I'd bought. I picked a blue shirt that matched the color of his eyes and black trousers. I also bought him socks and shoes. With these in hand, I made my way back to the basement.

Just when I arrived back I saw Nanao coming out of the shower. He looked at me with no emotion in his eyes, then at the clothes.

I stepped to the bed and placed them on it, then turned to the dresser and took out the special cuffs. Turning back to Nanao I pulled him closer and removed the usual cuff from his wrist.

He stared at his hands, but didn't say or do anything. Taking advantage of his surprise, I put the shirt on him, even though his lack of escape attempts scared me a bit.

He seemed to have gathered his senses and looked at the door, but I was faster and cuffed one of his wrists with the special cuff. It was special, because the cuffs were connected with a long – probably three meters – chain.

While one end was on Nanao's wrist, I put the other cuff on mine.

He looked at me as I held out the trousers for him. When I realized that he was too stunned to do anything, I helped him into the black pants, put the socks and shoes on him and admired his thin form quietly.

I was satisfied with my choice. The clothes complimented his beautiful jewel-like eyes and his thin frame. He looked really desirable in that attire, but this wasn't the time to be thinking about that.

With a surprised expression, he asked,

"What are these for?"

I merely said, "Let's go," as I took his hand.

"Where?" His expression changed to confused, but he didn't shake my hand off, for which I was grateful.

"Outside."