Where Were You

by InLoveWEric

Many times in our History, we have heard these words. These two families were in completely different places on September 11th. But could tragedy, hurt, pain and suffering help them find their way to one another. Follow Eric and Sookie as they find out, with a little divine intervention that though Where they were is important but not as important on where they go from here. AH

10. Chapter 9

A/N: Yup, we are going to New York for yet another chapter of Where Were You. I can't tell you how thrilled I am that you are all enjoying this story. I know I can't get the words down fast enough. It is beyond exciting for me.

Next UP: Fashion Can Bite will be making an appearance and then the anticipated next chapter (or 2) of Precious Love. Then we will see where my muse takes me.

As always I want to thank you for taking the time to read along with my crazy imagination. I enjoy writing but I love to hear from all of you. I get a kick out of all the speculation and thoughts you all have.

T – what can I say that I've not said before. None of this would be possible without you. Thank you, my friend.

Okay, without further ado, please join me for another exciting episode of Where Were You.

Thanks!

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Chapter 9 Whispering in Dreams

SPOV

I'm standing in the living room of Momma and Daddy's house. The stereo is on and I hear the song coming out of the speakers.

I can't remember when you weren't there
When I didn't care for anyone but you
I swear we've been through everything there is
Can't imagine anything we've missed
Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do

I smile and clap as Daddy dips Momma and she laughs it sounds like angels singing.

Through the years, you've never let me down
You turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found
I've found with you ... Through the years
I've never been afraid, I've loved the life we've made
And I'm so glad I've stayed, right here with you
Through the years

I blink and the images in front of me change. No longer are they my parents. The man is taller and the woman's hair is blonde and long. He turns her and I gasp. "Eric." Is to no one. I hear a laugh and when he turns her I see that he's holding me.

"Eric, stop spinning me." The She/Me says.

He laughs. "I love the way you feel in my arms."

I can't remember what I used to do
Who I trusted, who I listened to before
I swear you taught me everything I know
Can't imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more

Through the years, through all the good and bad
I KNOW how much we had, I've always been so glad
To be with you ... Through the years
It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years

Through the years, when everything went wrong
Together we were strong, I know that I belong
Right here with you ... Through the years
I never had a doubt, we'd always work things out
I've learned what life's about, by loving you
Through the years

"Spin her again Daddy," I hear someone say. Looking around the room, it's changed again. I've never seen this room. It's big and bright with windows on three sides. Out in the distance, I can see the ocean. It's beautiful. Looking for the voice of the little one I heard, I turn to see two girls sitting on the couch. One is laughing and the other is smiling.

"Eric don't," the She/Me says again. "I'm going to get sick."

He smiles and dips me low. "Is the baby upsetting mommy again?" He asks.

The She/Me nods and he pulls me up and close to him again.

Through the years, you've never let me down
You've turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found
I've found with you ... Through the years
It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years...

The songs ends and both girls come to us in the middle of the room. Eric picks the older one up. She looks to be six or seven. I know her immediately to be Maddi. I pick the other one up. She has brown girls and light blue eyes the color of Eric's. She has a heart shape face that reminds me of Maddi and cubby hands that are wrapped around my neck. Eric takes us all and spins us, making us laugh once more.

"Momma, Dadda siwly." The other one says.

"Emma, they aren't silly, they are in love…." Maddie says.

The room fades and suddenly I'm somewhere else.

I turn around twice in a circle to figure out where I am when realization dawns on me. I'm looking around the old kitchen in the farmhouse. Trying to find something, but it doesn't seem to be here and I'm really not sure what I'm looking for exactly anyway. I know I'm here for something. I hate that feeling when you know you walked into a room for something and you can't, for the life of you figure out what you came in for.

"It isn't here." I hear someone say behind me.

I spin around to see a girl. She has dark brown hair and light blue eyes. She looks vaguely familiar but for the life of me, I can't place her. She looks to be around twelve or thirteen. Not really a little girl, but not exactly a teenager either. I think they call it the tween years.

"I'm sorry?" I ask her.

She smiles. "Your life, it's not here." She waves her hand around. "That is what you're looking for, isn't it?" She asks.

"I..I don't know." I say to her. "Who are you?" I ask her.

She smiles. "That is an interesting question," she says and goes to walk out the door.

I go to follow her. Once out the door, I'm standing in the garden of our new place in New York. The girl takes a deep breath and sighs. "Now, that's better." She says and turns to me. "He has been waiting for a long time for you."

"Who?" I ask.

She smiles. "When you answer that question, you will know who I am." She says. "Just keep each other safe. He needs you just as much as you need him." She says.

"Do…do you mean Eric?" I ask her.

She smiles at me. "Maddi was right, you are really smart." She says softly. Turning and looking past the backyard at something. I strain my neck to see. But all I see is the back fence.

"I gotta go." She says and turns to walk where she was looking before.

"Wait!" I scream at her.

She turns to look at me. "Who are you?" I ask her.

She smiles. "I'll see you soon, Sookie."

I blink and she's gone.

I sit upright in bed as my phone begins to ring. I look at the ID and smile.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Hi there," Amelia says. "What are you doing today?"

After last night, I didn't expect to hear from Amelia. I look over at my clock. "Amelia, is there a reason you are calling me at seven in the morning?" I ask her.

She laughs. "Sorry," she says. "I was supposed to have a meeting in the city but it was canceled. I thought maybe you and Maddi wanted to join Pam and I for a girls day." She says.

"Well, what did you have in mind?" I ask her as I sit up in bed and lean against the headboard.

"We thought we would go get new bathing suits for the weekend and maybe do mani-pedis so our feet look pretty for tomorrow."

I laugh. "I didn't think Pam would be into that type of thing?" I ask her.

"Well…" She trails off.

"What?" I ask.

She sighs. "She thought it would be fun to take Maddi. There is a boutique not too far away and it has mommy and me type wear. You know, same sort of patterns so you can match? Then she thought Maddi would like to get her toes and fingers all pretty." She laughs. "The salon has this little girl seat with a panda bear on it."

I think on it for a moment. "Okay, but remember Maddi is only four. We can't stay out all day. There is a fine line between my little girl being an angel and a complete terror."

She laughs. "I find that very hard to believe." She says. "You up for some extended adult girly time?" She asks.

"Huh?" I ask.

"Well, once a month, Pam, Bridget, my brother's wife, Erin and Jennifer all get together. The guys all do their thing too. They go out to a sports bar or somewhere like that. Anyway, this is the night for us to do our girl thing. You know, some wine, some gossip…it's fun. Anyway, tonight is supposed to be at my place. Bob is going to bring Erin in to hang and then will head back to their place later tonight."

I think about it for a minute. "I…I think that would be fun. But could we do it here. That way, I can put Maddi to bed and we don't have to worry about her."

"Sure, it's not like you live far away. Bob won't stay out too late tonight regardless. He said hangovers and long car rides with two kids, is not his favorite thing in the world. Normally, they would think of staying here or something. But not if we are all headed to the beach tomorrow."

"I think it will be fun. I haven't had "girl-time" in a long time." Okay, girl time was me and Tara, but still.

"Excellent. So, I'll come grab you and Maddi about ten. We can shop a little, eat a little and then get our pretties for the weekend." She giggles. She actually giggles. God this woman was amazing.

I agree to all of it and she is more than pleased that we are joining them. I swear, it's like Maddi and I walked into an instant family.

We hang up and sit back on the bed and pull my knees up closer. I take a deep breath. It took me a long time to get to sleep after that surprise phone call last night. If Eric hadn't scrambled my brains, I would have let the darn thing go to voicemail. But no, I had to be in a really good happy place and thought it was going to last. Yeah, I should really know better.

I close my eyes and try not to think about it. But when does that ever work?

"Hello." I say softly.

"Sookie," the caller says.

My face turns from happy to angry in three seconds.

"What do you want?" I growl.

"Oh, now, Sug, is that anyway to talk to me?" He asks.

"Sam Merlotte, what the hell are you doing calling me? I thought I made myself completely clear that I didn't want to speak to you." I growl at him. "How did you get this number?" I had changed my number when I knew I was heading up to New York. There weren't to many people who had it.

"Tara," is all he said.

I growl again. "Well lose it." I say to him.

"Sook, come on hon. Don't be mad. "Tara didn't know we had a disagreement. Don't blame her."

A disagreement, he calls what we had a disagreement? "Oh, I don't blame Tara, I blame you. I thought I made it perfectly clear to you that I didn't want anything to do with you. Now, if you don't mind, it's late and I need to get to bed."

"Damn it, Sookie!" He yells at me. "I said I was sorry, what more do you want?" He asks.

I laugh. "I don't want anything from you. I told you that already. I thought we were friends. But you ….you…."

"What, what did I do, Sookie? Tell me what did I do that was so terrible. You know I love you. I wanted to take care of you. I want to take care of Maddi. Doesn't that count for something?"

I shake my head. "Sam, trying to use my daughter to get to me, that was just wrong." I huff and sit down.

"Fine, it was wrong. But shit, Sug, you wouldn't give me anything. I tried being patient. I tried being your friend. Hell, I even tried dating other women thinking it would get you jealous."

"You knew that wasn't going to work." I say to him.

"Sookie, just, Jesus, I miss you. I miss our girl…."

"NO! Sam, she's my daughter, not yours." I get up. "Right there, that's what you did wrong. You assumed that all I wanted was a Daddy for Maddi. That if I found a man that was willing to be that for her I would jump into his arms. But you were wrong."

"Was it so wrong to want to be there for her and you? Was is so bad to want to be that for her?" He asks me.

I growl. "I'm not getting into this with you, Sam. I said my peace before I left. I told you that I wanted you to leave us alone. That we didn't need someone who was not true around us."

"HOW WASN'T I TRUE. SHIT WOMAN, I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU. I TOLD YOU I WOULD TAKE CARE OF YOU. I TOLD YOU I WOULDN'T LET..LET THAT BASTARD ANYWHERE NEAR YOU. WHAT THE HELL ELSE DID YOU WANT!"

"That BASTARD can't come near me or all hell will break loose. I know what you told me, Sam and it was all lies." I say to him.

"Damn IT, I wanted to have babies with you woman. I wanted us to live and be happy and…."

"Stop, just stop Sam. You can put the act away. I'm not buying." I say to him.

"Tell me, tell me what I did to make you believe that I wasn't true to my word?" He growls at me.

"I said that's enough, Sam." I say to him.

"No, I think after pining over you for this many years, I have a fucking right to know what the HELL made you go from considering my offer to dropping me like a hot potato."

"I was never considering your offer, Sam. We went out on a few dates. You were over with all our friends. You helped me with Maddi when I was in a jam. I'm thankful, but I was nowhere near ready to take you up on your offer." I say to him.

"You were close. I know you were close." He says.

"Sam, I don't…"

"JUST TELL ME!" He yells at me.

Okay, I've had it. "Fine!" I yell back at him. "You know Sam, I didn't want to do this. But fine. You really should make sure your door is locked before you take one of your waitresses home." I say.

He is silent for a minute. "What?" He asks.

"Yeah, I…I was not doing to good a night after Gran died. Jason was at the house, so I decided to take a ride. I found myself in front of your place. I needed my friend and thought that you would be good company. I walked up to the door and knocked. You mustn't have heard me but I tried the door. I usually just walked in anyway. Imagine my surprise when I looked into your room to find you balls deep in Dawn Green. Really Sam, Dawn? She's been with almost everyone in the parish. You had to choose her?" I say knowing that the discussed is evident in my voice.

"Sookie it's…."

"Oh, Good Lord, do NOT tell me it's not what it looked like. Believe me, I've heard that one before." I say to him.

"You don't understand it…"

I cut him off again. "Now your going to tell me that it was just a one time thing? Um, no. You see, Dawn likes to brag. She likes it even more when she's drunk. Tara took me out to Shreveport right after that. I was confused and wasn't sure if I should consider the move for Maddi and I. Well, wasn't it just perfect that Dawn, Maudette and two of their friends decided to join us that night. Several drinks in and Dawn started bragging on how good you were and how awesome it was to spend lunch hours in your bed. That it sure made working at the bar better the past six months when you are getting it good from the boss!"

He is silent on the other end of the phone. "What, no more excuses? No more telling me that I don't know what I saw, what I heard? Come on Sam, whatever you are going to say, I promise, I've heard the excuse before."

I hear him sigh on the other end. "Sookie, just because…." He stops. "No, I'm not going to do that. I love you, Sookie. I was willing to be everything for you. But, I just…I'm not going to make excuses. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry you think I lied to you. But I didn't. I love you and I love Maddi. If you gave us a chance, just a small one, I would have given Dawn up. Hell, I would have never started in with her to begin with. But that was wrong too. I know that if I was honestly trying to pursue you, I wouldn't have gone to Dawn. I…I'm sorry." He says.

Well that's not what I expected.

"He came in the other day." He says softly.

"Tara told me. I already called Sid-Matt." I told him.

"Good…." He is silent for another moment. "No one is going to tell him where you are, Sook." He says.

I nod. "You, Tara, JB and Sid-Matt are the only ones besides Hoyt and Renee that know." I say. "So, unless he hires someone, I don't think he will find out." I say to him.

"Yeah, well, he ain't finding out from us." He says.

He is silent for another few minutes.

I sigh. "Sam, I really need to go to bed." I say to him.

"Yeah, um…okay. Look, Sookie, I'm really sorry…I…there aren't any excuses. Especially when I know what you've been through. I should..no, I'm not going to do that either. Just…just know that we are here if you need us, okay? I'm not going to bother you again."

I sigh. "Goodbye Sam." I say.

"Goodbye Sookie." He says and hangs up.

I let out a deep breath. That wasn't the most uncomfortable conversation I've ever had but it is one that I wanted to avoid. Believe me, I never want to see a man I consider something to me in that position with another woman again.

It was after that incident, that I was determined to move away and make a life for Maddi and I. No, I never told anyone what I saw Sam doing. It wasn't anyone's business. As far as most people were concerned, Sam and I were friends. Tara knew he wanted more and that Sam spent more time with Maddi and I than anyone else. But she also was the one to point out that Sam seemed to be getting Maddi into situations so that he could "be there" for her. Things like suggesting that she could take Dance during the day and that he could take her. Or that Maddi wanted to take a walk to look for flowers or that Maddi wanted them to all go on a picnic. I guess I should have see it. He would try to use Maddi to get me a lone. But once we were alone, he would ignore my daughter. He would find something for her to do so he could have me to himself. I wasn't comfortable with it and when Tara pointed it out, I knew what he was trying to do. I didn't know until I found him with Dawn that he was not serious about either of us. Oh sure, I'm sure he wanted me. But would he want my daughter after we were together? That I wasn't to sure of.

He said he wanted babies with me. But dreaming about other children didn't hold Sam's face. How could I be thinking about Eric like that just after meeting him. Hell, he laid his heart out bear for me last night. No one has ever done that for me. I didn't even know how to respond. But something in me did. Why else would I be dreaming of a pregnant me, an older Maddi and a little brown haired girl named Emma? Eric Northman definitely ignited something in me that I never thought possible. But I need to know what he's holding back. The question is, can I tell him what I'm holding back? Can I tell Eric about HIM? Can I trust him.

I take another deep breath and decide that this is a thought process that is better left for later. Getting up, I straighten my bed and go to find my daughter. It is very unusual for her not to be climbing in with me if I'm still in bed at seven. Walking down the hall, I peak into her room. She is sitting on the floor having a tea party.

"Good morning, doodlebug." I say to her.

She turns and smiles at me. "Mornin Momma," she says and turns back to the party.

"Can I join?" I ask her.

She looks up at me with the brightest smile. "Suw." She says.

I smile at her and come to sit down at the table between Maddi and Claudine who is seated on one of the other seats.

"You didn't come and snuggle with me this morning, doodlebug," I say to her.

She shakes her head. "No, Cwadine say you seepin and no wake."

"Claudine said, huh?" I ask her.

"Yeah, she say you night night and dweemin. You dweemin, Momma?" She asks.

I nod. "I was dreaming. Did you have any dreams last night?" I ask her.

She nods and smiles. "Yeah, I dweem of you and Ewic and…and Cwadine, but she not Cwadine. She widdle." She shrugs.

"Well, what was your dream about?" I ask her.

She smiles. "We were at da pawk. You hold Angel Baby and Ewic swing me on da swing." She nods.

"Well, that sounds like a very nice dream." I say to her. "Did you have any other dreams?" I ask her.

She laughs. "Siwwy, Momma," she says. "I dweam wots." She says and laughs.

"Oh well, then I'm glad you had lots of dreams. Would you like to go with Auntie Amelia and Auntie Pam to the store today?" I ask her.

She nods. "Cwadine too?" She asks.

I nod. "I wouldn't think of leaving Claudine behind."

She shakes her head again. "No, no weeb behind."

I kiss her again and tell her to have a nice time with her tea party as I leave to start my day. I've got a lot of things to do if we are going to be ready for the weekend. I thought I was going to have the whole day to get through my list. But evidently, Amelia had other plans. Oh well, it's nice to have people who want to include us in their lives. I never really had many people to care about before. I find it rather nice, if I'm honest about it.

A few hours later, I have finished my morning "to do" list which consisted of laundry, house cleaning and making a list of all the things that we will need to bring with us to the beach. Granted, Maddi isn't a baby anymore, but she is still little and I need to take into consideration every contingency plan. I hadn't planned on going away so quickly after arriving. Oh hell, let's face it, other than going to see Jason and Laf, I didn't plan on going anywhere. Now, I'm heading to Hampton's with my boss' family and have no idea what I'm getting into.

I wasn't sure what Abbie was planning on for meals, but I intended on bringing a few things. Gran would turn over in her grave if she thought I was going to someone's home without bringing them something. But I've only met these people and I don't know what they do at the beach. I will need to ask Pam about this later. But for now, I simply made a list of a few things I'll need to make a couple of things to bring. I don't know how much room Eric is going to have in his car either, so I need to keep that in mind as well. My, nothing can be easy, now can it?

I was just about to call Maddi down when there was a knock on the back door. Going to answer it, I see Amelia and Pam standing on the stoop.

"Hey," I say to them and stand aside so that they can come in.

"Hey there!" Amelia comes in beaming. Pam is right behind her. "Ready for a girly day?" She laughs and I have to laugh with her. I can't help it. Amelia's good humor is contagious.

I call for Maddi and hear the unmistakable bumping noise as she comes down on her bottom.

"Is that not the cutest sound?" Pam says softly.

I smile at her. "I used to do it when I was little." I tell her.

"Really?" She asks.

"Yeah," I nod. "The stairs in my Gran's farmhouse were steep. She was always nervous about me coming down them. So she had me bump down. Jason, well, Jason we caught trying to ride his skateboard down them and out the front door." I laugh. "I thought Gran was going to have a heart attack and made him promise not to try it again."

"Did he get hurt?" Pam asks.

I nod. "Let's just say, he was lucky that the front door was closed or he would have gone head first through the screen."

"He didn't open the door?" Amelia asks.

"Nope, he had just watched Star Wars and was trying to open the door with his Jedi Mind Tricks." I say.

They both laugh at my brother's antics. If memory serves, Gran grounded him for a week for that stunt.

"There is no try, only do or do not. There is no try," Amelia says in the worst impression of Yoda I'd ever heard.

"Oh Lord, you two are NOT going to start that again." Says with a hand on her hip.

Amelia and I look at each other and smile and then look at Pam. "Into the shoot, flyboy." We both say.

We laugh and Pam just rolls her eyes. "I swear, no movie nights. We are NOT doing movie nights."

Maddi comes around the corner holding Claudine with a big smile on her face.

"We gonna hab a gwily day?" She asks as she bounces from one foot to the other.

I smile at her. "As soon as you get your shoes on, we can go." I say to her.

She turns tail and goes in search for her sandals.

I turn back to see Pam and Amelia with big smiles on their faces. I have to smile back at them. Yeah, it isn't too bad having people care about you. Not bad at all.

***0***

EPOV

I sit in the middle of my living room and look out the big picture window overlooking Central Park. I haven't done this in, well, I don't remember how long it's been, but it's been really long.

I sigh and lean forward, rubbing my hands over my face. I have hated being here. Even though I could have sold the place and make a damn good profit, I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was her home. It was OUR home. The home I would had made for her. Since I found out that she was coming into this world, I promised to do everything I could to make her feel as loved and protected as I did growing up. No matter the circumstances of how she came to be, I was determined to make the best out of a not so good situation.

I think subconsciously I kept this place to punish myself. Not that looking in the mirror every morning was not punishment enough. But this place was a reminder that somehow, I could have prevented the entire awful situation. Keeping it was a reminder and a way to punish myself every day for my mistake.

I remember that call as if it just happened. I wish I could erase it from my mind. I can't help replaying it over and over again. If only I had said yes instead of no, I could have my heart back. I close my eyes and lean back. Trying to will the memory away but it won't go.

September 10, 2001

The phone begins to ring next to me on the table. I look at the time. It's after ten, almost eleven. I had talked to my angel earlier and am confused why her mother is calling so late.

I pick it up on the third ring. "Heidi, what's wrong?" I ask her with traces of panic in my voice. For the hundredth time since she's been gone, I kick myself for allowing Heidi to take her on this little trip.

"Well hello to you too, Eric." She says in a huff. "I swear you should be more courteous to your wife. What would your mother say if she knew you had forgotten your manners." I can tell that she's been drinking. She's always drinking. But I thought she would behave when she was the sole caretaker for my little angel. Yeah, fat ass chance of that.

"Ex-Wife, I correct her." I say and sigh. "You seem to forget the EX part."

"The papers aren't going to be filed until Friday, Eric." She says in another huff. "Until then, I'm still Heidi Crane-Northman."

"Fine Heidi," I say and huff myself. "Why are you calling so late? Is something wrong with the baby?" I ask her.

"God, that is all you think about?" She whines at me. I really don't feel like getting into another argument about my daughter. So, I just stay quiet.

"Fine!" She growls. "I need you to come get her tomorrow morning. Well, tonight if you could."

I look at the clock. "Heidi, if I left now, I wouldn't be getting to Boston until well after midnight." I say to her. She had gone to see her sister, Claudette who is a Junior at BU. I think the only reason she took the baby was to piss me off. Plus, she knew that as of Friday, I have sole custody of her. That was not my doing. Heidi didn't want to be a permanent anything; not a wife, not a mother, nothing. Let's face it, she's not been a permanent anything in either of our lives. We married but she wouldn't come to New York afterwards. It was only when I threaten to cut off her credit cards that she came. I really had no choice. After the fifth or sixth person that called me to tell me that she was partying in this club or that, I had to do something. I was afraid for our child.

As soon as she was born, Heidi decided she needed time to rest. She went to stay with her mother in Aspen for a few weeks. Her parents had been divorced since before I met her and Daddy was on husband number three I believe. But after a few weeks of her mother questioning on why she wasn't with the baby, she left and went to stay with Daddy. From that point on, she was away more than she was home. She claimed she needed acting lessons in LA for a few months. Then she wanted to try modeling in Italy. Oh, and then there was the retreat in Vermont that she was at for about six months. All in all, she was with our angel about a year out of the last three. I finally decided to call an end to the charade. It wasn't like I didn't know that Heidi was sleeping around behind my back. I couldn't catch her, but I knew. I knew there was someone. A girl like Heidi never went without anything. I stopped sleeping with her, so I'm sure she was getting it from someone else.

She didn't contest the divorce. She wanted to be free to pursue her fledgling career in acting. Something she had told me was my fault that she was so behind on. If she hadn't gotten pregnant, and I hadn't insisted we get married, she would be some high flying star in Hollywood by now. Not that all the time she spent away from us didn't count. I was still at fault.

"Exactly," she says pulling me back to the conversation. "I need to get out to LA tomorrow morning. I have an audition at noon. So you need to come get her." She says.

"Heidi, you knew that I couldn't come get her until Thursday." I say to her. "I have a meeting with Dad first thing tomorrow morning. So either you have to bring her back or postpone the audition." I say to her. I could have probably postponed the meeting for later in the day. But it was the principal of the thing. She wanted to take her to Boston. She needed to bring her back.

"I can't." She says. "Why don't you just fly up here tonight and get her."

"I can't," I say to her. "The plane left this afternoon to pick up my mother in Maine. She should be in the air as we speak. I think she's touching down in an hour."

"Well, then come get her then." She whines again.

"I won't get there until the middle of the night. Do you really want to wake her and move her like that?" I ask.

"FINE!" She yells. "I'll take her with me to LA. Claude is there and so is Daddy. I'm sure they can watch her until my audition is over. You know my father will want to see her anyway." She says. "You can fly out and get her on Friday or something." She says.

"Heidi, I don't think my three year old is going to be comfortable with your father or your brother." I say to her. "She hasn't seen either of them in almost two years."

"Well, I can't leave her here!" She yells at me. "Claudette is about to tear her hair out with all the noise this kid makes. Plus the fact that she IS a college student. She wants to have fun."

"Then why did you take her to begin with?" I ask her.

"Because…because it pissed you off." She says.

"Heidi, I don't want you to take my daughter to LA." I say with a sigh. "I…postpone your flight until something around noon. I'll drive up and get her in the morning. Can we do that?" I ask her.

"Yeah, fine. Whatever," she says. "Why can't you come tonight?" She asks.

"Because, I'm tired. I had a long day, and I don't want to drive like this." I sigh.

"Fine. Just…just call me when you are leaving." She says and hangs up.

The next morning I call Heidi's phone but it goes directly to voicemail. I look at the time. It is just about eight in the morning. I sigh and dial Claudette's number.

"What!" She yells into the phone.

"Claudette, where's Heidi?" I ask as I grab my keys.

"On her way to LA." She says.

"What? I ask. Where's the baby?"

She huffs and she instantly sounds like her sister. "She's with Heidi." She says. "Look, Eric," she says and I can tell she's moving around. Probably still in bed. "I dropped them off at Logan over an hour ago. She couldn't get out of her audition. If she doesn't show up on time, then she can kiss the part goodbye. She took the 7:59 this morning. She got the kid a seat and said when you called to tell you, you can pick her up at Daddy's house either tonight or tomorrow."

"I told her…" I growl.

"You know what, Eric. I don't give a rat's ass what you told her. My sister has a life. You wanted the kid. You wanted the family. But you never once stopped to think what Heidi wanted, did you? No, she wanted to have fun and play. Instead, you made her…"

"I didn't make her do anything." I say.

"Yeah, well, I guess we will have to agree to disagree on that one." She huffs. "She left a few things of the kids here. I'll mail them to you." She says. "She will be at the house later this afternoon. Call Daddy. He'll tell you when." She says. "See ya, Eric." She doesn't wait for a reply. She just hangs up.

I sit on the couch and look out the window. I pick up the phone to call my father. I need to have him change the appointment. Looks like I'm going to LA to pick up my daughter. Fuck, Heidi is just a pain in the ass.

I open my eyes when I hear the door open and close. I don't turn to see who it is. It can only be one person.

"I usually beat you here." I hear her say.

"Good morning to you, Octavia." I say with a smile.

"When did you get in?" She asks. "Did you get breakfast wherever you were?" She asks.

I turn to look at her. "I've been here all night." I say. "In fact," I say softly. "I went to Amelia's last night and came home after."

It's true. After dinner at Pam's I came home. It was hard. I tossed and turned for a quite some time until I finally fell to sleep. I'm not sure if I had any dreams but I know I didn't have any nightmares.

She moves around the couch to look at me. "Really?"

I take her in. She is old, but not too old. She used to help my mother out. We never called her a cook or housekeeper. She was too close to us for that. She was part of the family. Just someone who was there to help Mom keep our home. When Pam and I wanted to move into the city, Octavia came with us to look after our needs. She usually works between our two places. But after, well, after that day, she moved permanently over to Pam's. Now she just comes over daily to pick up after me and make sure I have food to eat.

I look up at her. "Really," I say.

"And what has caused this turn?" She asks.

I sigh. "I…"

"Has this anything to do with the new publicist that Pam hired?" She asks.

I look up at her. "How…"

She smiles. "Pam and your mother are gushing." She says. "If she has kept you home instead of gallivanting all over the city, then I'm looking forward to meeting her."

I look at her. "She has a daughter."

She nods.

"She's four." I say.

She nods again.

"She is perfect." I say.

She smiles and nods. "The woman or the girl?" She asks.

"Both," I say.

"Ahhh, so there it is." She says. "You…you are in love."

I shake my head. "How can you say that? I just…"

She puts her hand up. "I've known you since you were in diapers, Eric. You are in love. It's all over your face."

I say nothing because seriously, what is there to say?

"The question now is, what are you going to do about it?" She asks.

"She…I…I need to tell her." I say.

She nods. "As you should."

"I'm…I'm afraid." I say softly.

"Of what?" She asks.

I sigh. "That she'll think I'm using her and Maddi as a substitute family."

"Are you?" She asks.

I shake my head. "No."

"Why?" She asks.

I sit back and look at her. "Be…because when I thought of my family," I say and pause. "When I saw my future, it was just me and…and the baby. Heidi wasn't in the picture."

"And when you look at this girl…" she prods me.

I sigh again. "When I look at Sookie…."I pause. "The moment I saw her…I…" I pause again. "I saw a future wither her, Maddi and ….and a family." I say the last through a lump in my throat.

Octavia comes to sit beside me. Taking my hand in hers she looks out the window. "Life threw you a terrible curve ball." She pauses. "No one will deny that. But you can't go through life punishing yourself for something that was not in your power to change."

I'm about to argue but she gives me one of her stop you cold looks.

"You could no more stop the actions of madmen than you could have predicted what would have happened that day. You cannot bury yourself along with your grief, my boy. You need to live and they would have wanted that." She pauses.

I look out the window. "Octavia…."

"Yes Eric." She says.

"Maddi's doll…" I choke up again. "She…she says it's her angel baby."

"So I heard." She pauses.

I look at her and she smiles. "Your mother," is all the answer I receive.

I nod. "She calls her Claudine." I say.

"Eric, things we lose have a way of returning to us. Even if it's not in the way we expect."

"You don't find it weird or strange?" I ask her. "What if Sookie had researched us, me, or the family? What if this is a ploy to get into our family?" As I say it, I want to take it back.

She looks at me and raises an eyebrow. "You don't believe that." She says.

I shake my head. "No, I don't. I just…." I close my eyes. "I don't know what to do."

"You care for her?" She asks.

Now it's my turn to nod.

"You have told her." It's not a question. Octavia just seems to know things.

I nod again.

"Love, fate and souls are powerful things that we don't normally understand. Take what is given to you. It's a life line, Eric. I see it, your mother sees it. I think you even see it. Take what has been sent to you, lean on it and hold on to it. Eric, it's about time you come back to your life."

I look at her with a raised eyebrow. She huffs and shakes her head. "No, not this shell of a life that you've created for yourself," she shakes her head. "Come back to your life. The one that was made for you." She pauses. "I suspect this Sookie is in need of you as much as you are in need of her. Fate brought you that woman and her daughter for a reason. Pam may have found her, but I suspect that when you were ready, she would have come to you in some way."

"You know this." I say to her. Now with my own eyebrow raised.

"Your mother asked me to come out and help her at the house this weekend. You will be there?" She asks.

I smirk. "If you ask then you know the answer." I say to her.

She smiles. "Your mother said you are bringing them tomorrow morning. She is over the moon that she will get a baby to play with once more."

I sigh. "I know. It's just…." I shake my head. We sit there for a few moments until I look up at her.

She nods. "It's in her room," she points toward the hallway. "You want me to go get it?" She asks.

I look at the hallway and shake my head. "No, I think it needs to be opened up." I say softly.

I look up at her and I see tears in her eyes. "I would think she would like someone to use it." She says softly. "Perhaps Maddi is that person." She turns and walks toward the kitchen. "I'm making Crepes and you are going to eat them. Then I'll be heading out to the house to help your mother prepare for her guests." She says and walks into the kitchen.

I don't say anything. You can't argue with Octavia. I don't think there is a person alive who would win.

I stand and walk down the hall, stopping at the third door down. I've had it closed for so many years. I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't open. Placing my hand on it, the knob moves with ease under my fingers. Once the lock disengages, I start to push it in. I swear I almost hear the room sigh as the door opens.

Walking in, it looks almost exactly the same as it did when I closed it up. Okay, not exactly the same. Mom and Octavia had to clean it up after I threw a fit and wouldn't come out for three days. That is when the door closed and I've not opened it since.

I look at the far wall where Pam painted the mural. She was so pleased that I let her do it. Not that Heidi ever would. Hell, I don't think she bought one thing in here. Yes, the divorce was my idea, but Heidi was long gone well before I handed her papers. I'm not really sure she ever wanted to give this whole family thing a try anyway. In the end, I think she just did it to get the money. Why she needed it is still a mystery. It wasn't like her father wasn't loaded. But still, she could have cared less about me, my daughter and or anything to do with us.

I look around and see the toys that were bought for her, the stuff animals, dolls and all the books. God how she loved to read books. On the table just beside her little bed, stood the music box I got her right before she went on her trip with Heidi. It played "Somewhere Out There." It was a song on a little mouse movie that she just loved and I got it for her. She made me play it for her over and over again while she tried to sing along with it. It was probably the cutest thing I'd ever heard.

"Needs a good cleaning," Octavia says from the door.

I nod.

"I'll get on that next week." She says. "The car seat is in the closet." She says and goes to open it.

"I got it," I say.

"Well okay then," she says and moves out of the way. "Crepes are almost ready." She says and turns around and walks toward the door.

I open the door and move to grab the seat. Looking up, I see all the clothes that are still hanging there. Encased in what looks like a tomb. God, I buried myself just like this room. Just like these clothes, this room, this apartment. I locked myself away and forgot where I put the key.

Well, by his good grace, the door is sprung open and there is light waiting for me. No not a light, two lights. Guiding my way back to life, back to my family, back to me.

I sit down on the bed for a moment and close my eyes. I haven't done this in so long. I think I was afraid too.

"Hello little one," I say to the room. "I'm sorry I haven't been here for so long. I….I don't have any excuse. I think I thought if I stayed away than I could keep something of you. Or forget that day. I didn't…I couldn't believe that one moment you were gracing this world with your smile and the next…the next you were just gone." I sigh. "I…I never want to forget you baby. I want you to be with me always but…but I think I need to come back to life. I just wish…I just wish there was some way you could tell me that you understand and that you are okay with it.

I sit there for another moment when the music box begins to play. I sit there and listen as the is plays and softly goes to rest.

Nodding, I wipe away the tears that I didn't know I was crying. "Thank you my angel baby. You will always be in my heart."

Standing, I head for the door knowing what I need to do. Grabbing the car seat, I walk out and down the hall. In the kitchen, I find Octavia where she normally is; humming a tune at the stove and getting ready to plate up the crepes.

"Octavia," I say.

She turns to me. "Can you have all the clothes and bedding boxed up." I say to her. "You can leave a few of the toys, but the rest, can you see they get to a shelter or something? Leave the brown bear that my parents gave her and the rocking horse. Oh, and the music box." I smile. "But the rest can go." She looks stunned for a moment. "The room will need to be aired out and new bedding bought. Can you coordinate that for me?" I ask.

She nods. "What colors?" She asks.

I smile. "Green and pink will look nice, I think. But we should really clean it out and make it fresh and clean."

She nods at me. "I'll have it all done while you're away this weekend."

I nod and walk over to her. Kissing her on the cheek, she looks up at me. "Thank you," I say softly.

She doesn't ask me for what. She just touches the side of me cheek. "Welcome back." She says.

I smile and head out and down to my room to change for the day.

Once in the room, my phone goes off.

I look at the ID. "Hey Bob," I say.

"Hey," he says. Bob is a man of very few words. "We are having guy's night tonight. I know it's a long shot but…."

"Where are you meeting?" I ask without letting him finish.

"Uh…" he pauses. "Yeah, I'm dropping off Erin at Amelia's then going to grab Max. So why don't we meet there?" He asks.

"Okay." I say with a smile. I used to do these nights with them. I am thankful that they never stopped asking.

We set a time and I tell him that I'll see him then.

Hanging up, I walk into the bathroom. I stop when I see the man staring back at me in the mirror. I hadn't seen him in a while. It's actually really nice that's he's back and I'll do my damndest to make sure he stays put.

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A/N If you want to see banners of the characters, please visit my blog (url on my profile). Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think…..