Dear Journal,
The rumours are getting really out of hand. Apparently some idiot spun them that me and Ganondorf had secret feelings for eachother! What the heck is wrong with these people?! I tried so hard to not do anything to add more fire to the flames but it seems by ignoring him it was 'romantic tension'. On top of that this week I have a team battle against Peach and Bowser with you-know-who as my teammate! Be right back, I need to scream into a pillow or something.
…
While I was vocalizing my sorrows I came up with a brilliant idea: When the battle comes around I'll just K.O. Ganondorf to make it clear to everyone there is NOTHING between us. It should be pretty easy anyways, the guy's as slow as a snail and he can't recover to save his life(I'm so hilarious sometimes, why does no one ever find me funny?) I can gimp him easy. I can win without him anyways, Peach is pathetic and Bowser is… a bit worrisome but once I get her out the way then I can focus on the real threat. It's foolproof!
I think I can manage to get through the week now.
-Dark Pit