A/N: This is another large chapter. Told you the word count would go up ... and down... and up again. =) I won't be able to reply to reviews just yet, but wanted to let you guys know how much I appreciate every single one of I'll get back to you as soon as I can. You hopefully don't mind.
This day seriously could not get worse. Actually the whole week had reached a new low point. And whose fault was it? If JJ and Emily wouldn't have been pushing this topic so much he might not even have heard anything.
One look at his face and the smile he had held was replaced with a look of surprise. He hadn't seen her until now, but then again she was pretty well hidden behind all the plants. He had probably thought it had only looked like it was JJ and Emily by themselves, and looking a few tables down, Penelope could see Reid and Rossi sitting down. The guys probably had come here for lunch as well, it was after all a place close to the office, with quite a lot of people from the office coming here for lunch quite regularly. So she shouldn't have been too surprised to see him, with Reid and Rossi in this place.
Penelope was saved of further embarrassment when she heard at least three different cell phones ringing, indicating just one thing: They caught a case. And Penelope never had been happier about such perfect timing.
They made it back to the office with Hotch already waiting for all of them in the meeting room, details of the case already ready to update his team members. From the first few images already Penelope had a feeling this would be a long and gruesome case. A case that would bring the team to Kansas and already looked like it would take a few good weeks to tackle this one down.
The team left within an hour of making it back from their lunch break, with everyone updated on the case and Penelope a huge list of things to do already. She started working on gathering information, similarities between victims, crime scenes and connections.
She had done background checks of victims and possible suspects, tried to find connections, but so far hadn't come up with anything solid that would tie any of them together somehow. There had been several calls already from the team, but mainly to feed her more information to verify, look up and check in to.
That's how the next few days would be spent. The case didn't really move left or right and definitely not forward. There were no new victims, no new evidence, no new nothing and Penelope as well as the team had somewhat come to a dead-end.
She just came back from her lunch break, hoping the team had gathered some new info for her to verify or look into when she saw Kevin Lynch waiting in front of the door to her liar.
"Kevin, what … what are you doing here?" she asked surprised, not having really seen or talked to him since the night at the wedding reception. Not that she had much desire to talk to him to begin with.
"I just wanted to see you," he answered somewhat nonchalantly. Something was up.
"You wanted to see me?" Penelope asked surprised, not remembering the last time he had came and wanted to see her. Even when they were dating he never stopped by her office. Not once in all the years.
"Yeah, I wanted to see how you're doing," he answered, making her raise her eyebrows. "Is that forbidden?" he asked almost sounding annoyed.
Penelope decided on ignoring his question and went on opening her door and getting into her office.
"I was wondering whether you have any plans tonight?" she all of a sudden heard him asked. The question made her spin around quickly, looking at him shocked.
"Why?" she asked simply, wondering what he was up to.
"Just … because. You know, hanging out together, like we used to."
"We never … hung out. Even when we were dating we didn't do that. We rarely went on dates even. And shouldn't you be with your girlfriend? You know, the one you cheated on me with and is now expecting your first child?"
"Well, that … you know, I've been wondering lately … I don't think I'm ready for that yet. And I miss you."
At this stage Penelope needed to sit down. It wasn't as if his words amazed her so much, but they rather shocked her. First he cheated on her, with some other chick, that was now pregnant. Then he humiliated her at that wedding to no end, and now he decided he wasn't ready for being a dad yet and she was the better girlfriend anyway? What the hell?
"And when exactly did you come to that conclusion?" Penelope asked. And she had to admit she was rather annoyed.
"Why does it matter?" asked irritated. "All that should matter is that, yes, I did make a mistake, but I realized it now and want to correct what I did wrong. I love you. I want us to try again," Kevin responded, sounding like he whined actually.
"You … have a girlfriend. A pregnant girlfriend," Penelope reminded him, just in case he forgot.
"First of all I don't even know if it is mine," Lynch mumbled, making Penelope sit straighter in her chair.
"Ex- excuse me?" Penelope asked a bit shocked.
"I just … don't know. There have been rumors. And as I said, you have been a much better girlfriend anyway. You weren't so whiny and clingy and you certainly didn't complain as much. Now all I hear all day long is "Pick up your socks" and "do the dishes" and stuff like that. Things I never heard coming from you."
And of course that's why he wanted to come back to her. Because she just took him the way he was and never tried to actually change him. She knew changing Kevin Lynch was a lifetime job and somehow it was easier to just take him the way he was. Life just wasn't perfect and neither was she. So Penelope figured if she wasn't perfect, what right did she have to try and make him?
"I … you would leave your pregnant girlfriend? Just like that?" Penelope asked shocked. Okay maybe he had just fallen down to an all new low.
"Yes, for you I would," Kevin smiled at her, apparently seeming to think that just because she was still talking to him there might be a chance of a reunion.
"So first you leave me for her, to knock her up and then you leave her for me, cause you just had a change … of mind? Are you for real?" Penelope asked. She knew how it must have seemed, like she now took the side of the women who he cheated on her with, but Penelope couldn't care. This was another new low point. Leaving your pregnant girlfriend. No matter whether she used to be the mistress or something like that.
"But … what if I don't want you back?" Penelope asked in a quiet voice, surprising him.
"What do you mean you don't want me back? I was a great boyfriend and-"
"You left me for someone else, didn't want to have any kids but yet managed to knock up your mistress within the matter of a few months, whereas I was waiting years for you to get to that point. And yes, I know that I keep repeating myself, but well… that's the way it is. It isn't like I can just forget the end of our relationship and the reasons for the end," Penelope argued, seeing Kevin Lynch looking at her surprised.
Had he seriously expected this to go any other way? He had after all left her for some other girl. Was he really expecting her that she would be come back running to him when the chance arose? Clearly not. Even he must have realized that the end of their relationship was anything but a clean cut.
"Everyone should be allowed to make a mistake. You ain't perfect either, Penelope. And I realized my wrongdoing. And I come back, asking for a second chance. That's the least you can do," Kevin started, making Penelope wonder whether she heard correct.
"What do you mean 'The least I can do'? I didn't do anything. I was stupid enough to think you'd actually love me, when clearly you didn't. And now that you've come to your senses, or have a case or cold feet and regrets, I am supposed to come running crying into your arms, weeping and being happy that you'd want to take me back? I don't think so. It happened once, what will tell me it won't happen again and that you won't go running for the next blonde that crosses your way and shows the smallest amount of interest?"
"It was a mistake, okay? I realized I fucked up and I'm sorry," he started, looking at her, then thinking for a moment, before he took a deep breath and then continued. "I thought you loved me. But here you are at the first hurdle we've ever had to face, bailing out, running for the hills. You are … important to me and I messed up, I admit that, and suddenly I'm flawed and therefore dispensable? Have you any idea how that makes me feel?" he asked and Penelope stared at him for a moment. That's all she did. She couldn't do anything else. Was he for real? Was he serious? What the …
"Okay, listen Kevin. I did love you. For the entire two years we were dating. And I wouldn't necessarily call you cheating on me with another woman, who now also is pregnant, a hurdle, but more … a reason for a split. I am not running anywhere, you were the one running, right into your mistresses arms and now back to me, cause you realized you don't want to be a father. That is not my problem, you have made your bed, now sleep in it. And in regards of whether I know how that makes you feel? Well, no, but what I do know is how I felt when you told me you'd leave me for someone else. Who was expecting your child. A child you never wanted to give me. Now I am supposed to feel bad for you and understand how you feel right now? No offence, Kevin, but I seriously couldn't care less," she admitted angrily. What nerves this guy had. Penelope couldn't believe she was actually at some point dating him. She better be single for the rest of her life before she ever would get into a relationship like the one she had with Kevin Lynch.
Kevin just stood there. Not really doing anything. He just looked at Penelope for what seemed ages, without saying a word or doing anything else really.
"I don't believe you," was all he suddenly said, making Penelope do a double take. Was he serious? She just told him she didn't love him anymore, in more words, and he stood here, telling her he didn't believe her?
"Kevin, at this stage … I honestly don't care anymore whether you believe me or not. We're … done," she said, surprising herself at how easy this seemed to have come over her lips.
Looking at him, hoping he would at some point get it and leave, she had to realize he didn't move an inch. Not one. What was his problem? She told him clear enough she didn't want to be involved and yet he still stood here, seeming to think they still had a chance together. She seriously needed to find some convincer to get him out of her office, because slowly he started to annoy her big time. How much clearer could she be that there was no chance left for them to ever get together?
And suddenly an idea hit her. She might not necessarily like using it, but she seriously wanted to get something else done today other than arguing with Kevin Lynch about their non-existing future.
"And as you might remember… I am involved again," she finally said, seeing the expressions on his face shift to disapproval.
"You mean Derek Morgan?" he asked in a sneering tone. "I wouldn't count on that going on for much longer," Kevin stated, looking at her challenging.
Great, she had thought this would somehow resolve all this and make him go away, see that he had lost her – maybe not to the guy she was trying to make him think– but it seemed to create more room for discussion.
"What makes you think that?" she asked, and knew his answer most likely already as well.
"Penny, he is … a womanizer, chasing after every possible skirt that walks in a radius of 10miles. Everyone knows the stories about him and trainees, getting them drunk and then taking advantage of them, just to toss them away the next morning once he was finished and … satisfied…" he started, talking himself in what seemed like some sort of weird state. Penelope wanted to interrupt him. After all she didn't need to hear any of these, she had heard them all already, plenty of times. She had no interest in Derek Morgan whatsoever, but then again it might have seemed strange if she'd just dismissed these stories when she was dating him. Or pretending to date him.
"Well, people do change. At least some. Just because he has been like this so far, doesn't mean he will… um … do it again," she responded, noticing herself it sounded kind of weak even to herself.
"You somehow do not sound like you believe in your own words there, Penny," Kevin remarked and made her cringe. First she didn't like that nickname at all and second she hated for him noticing what she had suspected.
"Okay, listen. I don't have to justify or defend my relationships to you. If I want to date some womanizer, who chases skirts as a hobby, what is it to you? There are plenty of advantages. Like him actually knowing exactly what to do with a woman," she started to argue and regretted it the moment she said it. That officially was a new low for her. She knew that Kevin's qualities as a lover were never exquisite, or longer lasting. She knew he kind of realized it, but still lived in blissful denial in regards of his qualities when it came to that department and she swore she never would get to that low where she would make sneaky remarks about that.
By the look on his face Penelope knew she hit him right where it hurt and regretted it right away. Yeah, she was angry and pissed, but still that was no excuse for being all mean all of a sudden. But then again she had been like that with Morgan as well, but these were whole different circumstances and a whole different problem.
"So how long has this been going on then?" she heard him asking next.
"Long enough to tell you this ain't over soon. I don't have to justify my decisions to you any longer," she simply replied, turning in her chair. This officially had been going on for way too long. She should have kicked him out of her office right the moment she saw him.
"And if you don't mind… I have a job to do, which I am sure as well, you do, too. I doubt the FBI pays you for standing around in other people's offices," Penelope announced, starting to type away and hoping he would just go. Why was it so simple for her to throw out a guy like Derek Morgan without a problem, but not Kevin Lynch? In the end Morgan didn't really do anything to her, at least not what Lynch had managed to do. Eventually he left and let Penelope all by herself with her thoughts. She somehow knew, not sure why, that this whole Derek Morgan thing would come back and haunt her badly. And it wouldn't take long. She had this feeling and usually, she never was wrong.