Know what? I should probably back up and fill in a few blanks before we go any farther, because Uncle Barney's intervention got pretty interesting,. I don't want you to get distracted, wondering. First, yes, Benji is that Benjamin Jackson, but you can't think of him, in this context, the way you see him on TV, or on stage, when we saw him in Coincidence.
How good was he in Coincidence? So good. I can't believe we got second row seats for that, and we have Aunt Robin to thank. Well, her and Uncle Barney, because if Uncle Barney hadn't taken Benji under his wing, Benji would still be pinning customer service stars to his diner uniform. Okay, make that would into a could, because he really is talented. Three Tonys, an Emmy and Oscar buzz do speak for themselves. That only goes to show what hard work and believing in yourself can do. Did Benji know his life was about to change forever when he took your Aunt Robin's order that night? No, he did not, but, then again, neither did Aunt Robin and Uncle Barney. All they knew was that your cousin was on the way, and neither of them had any idea how to prepare for that.
Which brings me to the second thing, which is - huh. No, wait. Make that the third thing. Penny, do you remember the rules of the caterpillar game? Because your mother and I think we have most of it figured out between us, except for the one part with the grass clippings. What did you do when you played on days when there weren't any clippings? I know you didn't pull any grass out of the ground at our house, because we talked about that, and you certainly wouldn't pull grass out of Uncle Marshall and Aunt LIly's yard, and you played the game there, too. Let's put a pin in that and come back to it later, because the second thing -the caterpillar game can be the third thing, and yes, it does matter, so wipe that look off your faces. The second thing is absolutely crucial to how everything turned out as well as it did. I'm serious.
I should preface this by saying that I was not physically in the room where your mother and Uncle Barney actually had this conversation, because it is not a very big bathroom, so I can only go by what they told me, and their separate accounts do not always match on certain pertinent details. For the most part, I take your mother's version over Uncle Barney's, mainly because her version does not include ninjas, stormtroopers, or the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, but I have known Uncle Barney longer, and, sometimes, that carries some weight. Points to your mom for trying to take one for the team on that one, though.
Since I was not in the room, I don't know all the particulars of the conversation, but i do know that, once Uncle Barney got out of that bubble bath -a different bubble bath, not the same one your mother was taking- huh. Actually, it was the same tub, and the same bottle of bubble bath, but different water. Your mother finished her bath, put on a robe, drained the tub, made Uncle Barney clean it and draw his own bath, so there was only ever one person in that tub at one time that day. Got it? Okay. Oh, and one more thing before I get back to the story. When in doubt, the answer is usually water. Put water in you, get water on you, get yourself into some water, or go look at some water. Water, as it turns out, actually played a significant role in getting Aunt Robin to come home when she did. I should reiterate that she has, unfailingly, asserted that she always had planned to come back anyway, bu the water probably didn't hurt.
Okay, I thnk that's everything. For now. Where was I? Right, Uncle Barney's intervention.