When Buffy woke up with a weight on her stomach, her first instinct was to freak, fling whoever the hell was touching her babies across the room and wail on them until she couldn't feel her fists anymore, but something inside her urged her to stop and wait. She glanced down and was startled by a brilliant flash of white. 'Spike' she smiled, before slipping back to sleep.
The next morning, Buffy ascended the basement steps slowly and groggily, wiping the sleep from her eyes. She grabbed an apple from the fruit basket next to the microwave and took a bite. At the beginning of her pregnancy, her doctor had told her that apples had the ability to wake someone up faster then coffee and they were better for the baby, babies. Having succeeded in pushing back the fog of exhaustion, Buffy's Slayer senses suddenly came into play. There was a rustling noise in the living room, followed with a lot of banging and moving of furniture. There was a muffled curse word and Willow came flying into the kitchen.
"Buffy, you're awake" she said loudly, a little too loudly to be talking to someone two feet away.
"Yeah, Will, what's with the volume? I'm not deaf."
"Right, sorry" Willow started wringing her hands, a sure sign that the Wicca was nervous or hiding something, possibly both.
"Will, what's going on?"
"Nothing, why don't you go get dressed and then we can go see a movie or something, k?" There was definitely something up with Willow, but Buffy decided to humor her.
"Alright" she said, attempting to push past her into the living room, but Willow quickly laid a hand on Buffy's arm.
"No! Not that way, Dawnie spilt some milk on the floor and I wouldn't want you to slip" Buffy gave her friend a suspicious look, what was going on here? Willow just smiled, somewhat awkwardly and began to lead Buffy through the dining room and up the stairs.
When Buffy descended the stairs, dressed in a flowy, empire-waisted shirt and maternity pants, she could hear a rustle of activity in the living room. She sighed inwardly, her friends and sister meant well, but sometimes their attempts at surprising her fell completely flat. Girding herself against the torment sure to be coming, she took a deep breath and stepped into the living room. She gasped in surprise, there were balloons and crepe paper and ribbons everywhere. There was even a large banner hanging over the fireplace that read: 'It's a girl!' and someone had added the word: 'twice' onto the end.
"What the hell?" she said. Willow and Dawn who had been bent over something on the coffee table turned around quickly.
"Oh, surprise" They said together.
"What is this?" Anya came bustling out if the kitchen, carrying a large tray of assorted finger foods and placed them on a table.
"It's a baby shower, an excuse for pregnant woman to get the things they're too fat and tired to get themselves" Buffy was surprised to see Anya; they hadn't seen much of the woman since the debacle with the Gnarl demon.
"You guys threw me a baby shower?" she asked incredulously
"Well, yeah" Dawn said, "Even though you are all supernatural and Chosen and whatever, you're still a woman, a pregnant one and all pregnant women deserve a baby shower. Plus, what else could we have done with this?" She reached behind her and pulled a large card shaped like a baby carriage off of the table.
"We all signed it" She said, "Even Spike"
"And me" Anya piped up. Buffy stared at the card and at her surroundings, and felt tears come to her eyes.
"You guys" she said
"No" Willow moved forwards and escorted Buffy over to the couch to sit down, "No crying, this is a no cry zone. Now, open your presents and eat some finger foods"
The next few hours passed by in a blur, Dawn and Willow presenting Buffy with a flurry of gifts. There were onesies and bottles and stuffed animals and the cutest little shoes Buffy had ever seen in her life. There was also a very strange contraption that she stared at until Anya piped in cheerfully;
"It's a breast pump"
"It's a what's-it?"
"A breast pump. It sucks out a bunch of milk so you can you know store some of it in bottles and stuff, so you don't always have to always be a walking milk factory" Anya smiled hugely and Buffy grinned with her, this was all just very strange.
"Thank you guys, for everything, this is amazing, and I can't believe you went through all this trouble just for me."
"Buff, please, you've saved the world how many times? I think one little baby shower is the least we can do." Willow said.
"Oh and we've decided that we're all going to be the godmothers for the babies." Dawn added cheerfully
"Oh, really? So one baby gets two godmothers and the other one just gets one? That doesn't seem fair." Buffy laughed
"That's why we're not doing that, the three of us are going to be both the babies' godmothers." Willow elaborated
"Do I get any say in this?" Buffy asked, trying to sound commanding but it came out more as a laugh.
"Nope, you have to let us be the godmothers" Dawn said
"Why do I have to let you guys be godmothers?"
"Cause you have no one else to ask" Anya pointed out. Buffy pretended to think about it, scratching her chin studiously.
"Yeah, I guess you're right. But what about the godfathers?"
"Oh, Xander or Giles can do that. I'm sure they'd be thrilled to." Buffy was suddenly uneasy, scratching at a spot on the carpet with her toe.
"Have you not told Giles yet?" Willow asked incredulously.
"Well, it's not like I haven't tried, I've been calling him like crazy since last night, but he's not picking up his phone" Willow's forehead creased with worry at Buffy's words
"Not picking up? That's very un-Giles-y, I wonder if something happened" The doorbell rang then, interrupting Buffy's response and she heaved herself to her feet, one hand placed on the small of her back. How I'm gonna survive 4 more months of this, I have no idea. She thought to herself. She made it to the door finally, and called back to the waiting trio of girls;
"I swear, if you guys hired me a stripper, I'm going to be very upset." The door swung open and there was Giles, smiling big.
"Giles" Buffy said, shocked, "You're not a stripper" Giles' smile widened
"Afraid not" he looked her over, searching for any bumps or bruises and his eyes rested on her bump of a belly.
"And you're pregnant?" he asked, shocked
"Afraid so" She intertwined her hands, just below her belly and waited impatiently for his reaction. He removed his glasses and began to clean them furiously.
"Oh dear" he said.
Buffy, Dawn and Giles sat together on the couch, clutching steaming mugs of tea. They had called Xander over too and now, he, Willow and Anya stood scattered around the room.
"So, you're pregnant?" Giles asked, still trying to figure everything out in his head
"Yup" Buffy said, reaching for a witty quip to accompany that and fell short, realizing Giles, good old predictable Giles was freaking out and needed answers, not humorous quips.
"How far along?" Giles asked again, staring into his mug, face expression-less
"5 months" Buffy answered. Giles lifted his head a bit, about to say something, but seemingly changed his mind and looked back at his mug.
"What are you having?"
"Two girls" Buffy said, holding her breath as she presented him with another bomb. Giles looked at her now, eyes sparkling.
"Twins? You're having twins?"
"Yeah" Buffy said, nodding, "I just found out the other day" Giles nodded too, and looked back at his mug.
"And the father?" he asked, and the tone of his voice hinted that this was what he had been leading up to since he had first noticed her baby belly.
"Spike" she whispered. Giles looked back up at her, eyes wide with surprise and apprehension.
"Spike? Vampire Spike? William the Bloody Spike?" Buffy nodded, examining his face, searching for a reaction. This time, he didn't disappoint. He leapt to his feet and paced back and forth in front of the couch, his face a map of emotions. Fear, anger, sadness, they were all there. Giles took a deep breath.
"Spike is the father of your children?"
"Last time I checked, yeah"
"How?"
"I don't know, Giles, I really don't, but I can see what you're going to say and I want to stop you before you say it. I know these babies are half vampire, I realize that, but they're also half Slayer. And I know that you'll go on and on about how my babies might not even be human, how they might be demons or whatever, but they're my babies, Giles, my daughters and I have to believe that there's something good there. I mean, I've been through hell, I can't accept that the Powers that Be would give something as amazing as this and then make me suffer more, it's just not fair" Giles stared at his determined Slayer for a moment, examining her face and finally nodded.
"Alright, Buffy, I don't like this situation but you're right. We've been through much worse than Slayers impregnated by vampires, we can muddle through this"
"Amnesiac vampires" Anya piped up from the opposite side of the room, and everyone, other than Giles turned to glare at her. Giles turned to Buffy in shock, sitting back down on the couch, the Slayer meanwhile was meaningfully glaring at the ex-vengeance demon, more just to have somewhere to look than out of any actual anger.
"Amnesiac?" he asked, and Buffy switched her attention to Giles slowly, turning to face him as a child might, expecting a punishment from their parent. She laughed nervously, attempting to relieve some of the tension in the air.
"Yeah, see, funny story: Spike showed up a little while ago and um, he has no idea who he is, or who I am or really anything at all" Giles took off his glasses and began to clean them furiously, his default setting in times of awkwardness or weirdness.
"Is he . . . That is to say; is he . . .?"
"With the crazy blood-lust and animalistic urges like Angel was when he came back from hell? Not at all, he actually seems to be channeling William, like pre-Spike William" Buffy was surprised at the level of intensity in her voice, she very badly wanted Giles' opinion in all of this, and she very badly wanted it to be positive. It shocked her sometimes, how much she saw Giles in a paternal light, but it wasn't her fault, at least not now, blame it on the excess of hormones that came with being pregnant. Giles sat there on the couch, sandwiched between Dawn and herself, looking oddly small, and Buffy realized that she had finally stumped him. She had finally come up with a situation that he couldn't explain away with all of his fancy ancient texts, and surprisingly, that thought scared her. If Giles, librarian extraordinaire, couldn't figure out a meaning behind this whole sticky situation, who on Earth would be able to? Giles' posture straightened immediately, and he positioned his glasses back on his nose, his eyes shone with a look Buffy had seen quite a few times before. They were presented with a seemingly impossible situation, so what, it had happened before, the only thing to do now was to figure out a way out of it, as impossible as that may seem.
"Right then, well, I say we start researching, try and find any prophecies or anything that foretold this. Willow, try and see if this has ever happened before, look as far back as you possibly can. The rest of you, just try to make yourself useful." He stood up, hunched over slightly, as though the weight of the world had just been deposited on his shoulders.
"Where are you going?" Dawn asked, staring after him as he exited the living room.
"I'm going to rest, I'll be of no help to anyone if I'm suffering from jet lag" without another word, he left the room, and climbed up the stairs. Buffy stood up as well, and traced Giles' steps, one hand braced against her lower back.
"And what about you?" Xander asked, "What's your excuse?" Buffy turned back to her friend, too tired to fight. The events of the past few minutes had exhausted her, and she knew that exhaustion plus excess pregnancy hormones equaled very bad things.
"Xander, I'm pregnant, I don't need an excuse" Buffy left then, climbing the stairs carefully and finally collapsing into her bed, sleep claiming her almost immediately.