Title: Sweetest Downfall

Author: Neldluva

Rating: NC17 overall

Length: more than 25,000 words and counting … this chapter 1233

Pairings: Cloud/Elena, implied past Cloud/Tifa, one-sided Elena/Tseng, past Zack/Cloud, implied Tseng/Rufus (yes, confusing, I know … most of these pairings don't show up until later, and most are only in passing)

Warnings: explicit heterosexual acts including oral, bondage, whatever other kinky things come into my head; hints of homosexual activity, mentions of rape, torture, physical abuse

Summary: Is it really such a bad thing to get involved with someone who was once your enemy? And what if you just can't let go of your past?

Author's note: Again, I apologize for taking so long to post. I really have no excuse. Hopefully all of my new watchers and avid readers enjoy these upcoming chapters. Just a warning: they're going to get dark and scary. Look out.

Elena arched her back a little, moaning as she felt Cloud hit a particularly good spot inside her. He moaned in response, and she felt him speed the pace. She gripped the sheet, gasping for air, as he leaned over her back to hold her closer.

"Cloud," she murmured, pressing back against him. He remained quiet, as usual, but held tighter to her hips. Her arms shook from supporting both their weight, so she pressed up against his chest and sat back against him.

He groaned, nibbling the back of her neck and reaching around to squeeze her breasts. She gasped, arching harder and sitting down faster. She clung to him with one hand and moved the other down to stroke herself, feeling her orgasm inch closer.

"Cloud!" she cried again, more imperatively, and shut her eyes as she came. Cloud's teeth dug harder against her neck and he thrust strongly, pulling her tight against him as his orgasm hit as well.

They stayed as they were, Cloud settled back on his haunches and Elena basically in his lap, just trying to breathe normally again. At last he lowered them down to the bed and pulled out, curling up behind her in his customary position. He blinked, dimly surprised when she turned around and wrapped her arms around him.

"Very nice," she whispered with a smile. She pulled him into a slow, lazy kiss, twining her fingers around his hair. "Very nice indeed, Cloud."

"Hmm," he replied, agreeing with her. His fingers rested on her lower back, tracing over the small scorpion she had tattooed there. She'd told him its story about a week ago when he first found it – a drunken mistake, she'd called it, from back when she was just barely legal, and she didn't care enough to get it removed. He liked it.

He slid his hand a little further up. The smoothness of her skin was broken frequently by the patches of scars. She'd explained those too, those times when the materia hadn't been right at hand or hadn't been strong enough to remove the scar. She didn't mind those either. Except for that one just to the right of her spine … she shivered when his fingers brushed it and her hands tightened in his hair.

"This one looks like it was serious," he'd said when he found it one night after sex.

She had frowned and sat up, turning away from him. "I don't want to talk about that one."

"Elena?" He'd come up behind her, easing an arm around her shoulders.

She had shivered and kept her face turned away. "It was the Remnants. In the North Cave. The one with the gun."

Cloud remembered the gun well, just as he remembered the Remnants. He could remember hearing Vincent speak about rescuing Tseng and Elena from their clutches, but he hadn't realized the impact.

"It was like hell," she had continued, her voice distant. "For days … and it was cold. I've been trained to withstand torture, but it nearly broke me, Cloud."

"They were cruel," he had agreed. "Cruel like Sephiroth was."

"Sephiroth never raped me," she had whispered, pulling away from him more. "Sephiroth never threatened to cut me but leave me alive and able to speak. Sephiroth never made me watch as Tseng…" Her voice had trailed off, and Cloud had noticed tears on her face.

"I'm sorry" would have fallen flat, so he had remained silent. She had kept several inches between them that night, though her body trembled with pain and suppressed emotion.

Cloud was glad she was letting him close this time without pushing away. He had noticed more scars on her inner thighs and buttocks upon further inspection, all of which had inspired pain for him as well. He wanted to help her, but there was still a great deal that they both kept from each other.

"Elena," he whispered, fingertips still grazing the ragged circular outline of the scar.

"Yes?" she whispered back, her slender body relaxed in his arms. He knew she had the next day off from work, so there was no need to let her sleep immediately.

"What happened at the North Cave?" he asked as gently as he could.

As expected, she went immediately tense, and she pressed one hand flat against his chest. "No … Cloud…"

"I want to help. I don't mean to make you remember, and I want to help you forget. Will you let me do that?"

"I don't want you to know." She twisted her face towards the pillow, using her hair to hide from him. "I don't want to look at you if you know what happened."

"It won't change anything. The rape wasn't…"

"If it were just rape, don't you think I would have dealt with it myself?" She looked at him again, eyes sharp and cold like gunmetal. "Yes, I was raped, okay? They never healed us more than it took to keep us alive and conscious, so I was awake. And it was horrible, but do you know what was worse? They made Tseng watch. I wanted to die, they made him watch…"

She shook a little, and Cloud's hand smoothed up her back.

"I couldn't look at him for months," she continued, her voice shaking slightly. "He's my partner and my friend and I love him, but I couldn't meet his eyes because every time I did, I saw him watching what they did to me. He felt the same because they made me watch when they did things to him. Three years, Cloud, and I can still see it happening when I close my eyes sometimes."

He sighed and rubbed her back comfortingly. "It must have been horrible."

"I would have died if it hadn't been for Valentine. Reno helped too. It took a long time before I was myself again."

"Yes, Vincent told me how he found you and Tseng."

She nodded slightly, shutting her eyes. "I would have told them where Mother was, if I knew. I would have done anything to stop what they did. I would have told them whatever they wanted if they just stopped. But after a while, they didn't even care that we didn't know. So you were wrong. Sephiroth was less cruel. He would have killed us as soon as he knew we were useless. The Remnants tortured us for fun."

"I didn't know," he said, feeling helpless in the face of her pain. He could barely deal with his own demons – how was he supposed to help with hers?

"It's … nothing important, Cloud. It will just take some time to heal. I'm already better than I was three years ago."

"It is important," Cloud protested. "It isn't something I can ignore."

"But I have to, Cloud. I have to try and forget or I won't be able to live my life." She reached up, brushing some hair out of his eyes. "You do help me to forget. You're nothing like them. That helps."

He nodded and held her tighter. "Then I will help all that I can."

She smiled slightly and touched his cheek. "No more tonight. I'm tired. Maybe tomorrow."

"Yes. Sleep. I'll stay close." He kept his promise, staying close and stroking her back. It took a long time, but at last her breathing evened out into the cadence of sleep.