The Journal of a Perverted Chibi Raven

Summary: One possessive and perverted chibi raven decided to write his daily adventures in a journal about his chosen, sweet, hyper, adorable, innocent, oblivious yet feisty chibi blonde bride.

Warning/s: OOCness, ultra perverted Sasu-chibi. SHOTAness! and lame attempt at humor… -.-

Disclaimer: I own nothing… except the plot for this story :3

"talking"

"thinking"

"Hello"

'Dear Diary'

Sasuke and His Attempts at Pick Up Lines Part I

Madara is currently at his room with a phone in hand, dialing someone's number before placing it by his ear. He waits patiently for the line to be pick up, after five rings "Good evening… Kakashi"

"Madara-san! Good evening to you too. So you're back from Spain, huh?"

"Hn."

"Well, what can I do for you?"

Madara glance at his wall clock before staring blankly at the ceiling "It appears that, you've been teaching Sasuke some things if you know what I mean" after a minute of silence, Madara hears Kakashi coughing awkwardly.

"Um…"

"Don't deny it. I can easily recognize your handiwork anywhere"

"Erm… I… uh…"

"I saw Sasuke groping Naru-chan earlier. I don't know any perverts besides you and Jiraiya. Also, it is you whom Sasuke interacts with" says Madara as he smirks evilly at the poor ceiling.

". . . . ."

"… Hn. Figures"

"Well…"

"Anyway, I just called to ask you something. Did you teach Sasuke about the wonders of… pick-up lines?"

Madara hears Kakashi chokes on the other line "W-wait… Madara-san, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Madara chuckles darkly "Hell yeah"

S x N

The next day…

Sasuke ponders about what his uncle Madara told him. "Pick-up lines, huh. Hn. It wouldn't hurt to try" he mumbles to himself. He stands up and search for his lovely bride. And so begins Sasuke and his… ahem… pick-up lines.

First and second attempt…

Naruto is currently at the school yard, he giggles when a small blue butterfly lands on the right side of his hair, while a small white butterfly lands at his left hand as he force himself to stay still; totally oblivious at his surroundings.

Students watch him from where they are, blushing at the cute display. Behind a bush nearby, Tenten snaps picture after picture of Naruto with the butterflies. She notices Sasuke standing just a few feet away from Naruto, watching the blonde lovingly. She can't help but snap another shot.

"Kyaaa! So cute!" Tenten whispers, trying hard not to squeal out loud.

"Are you going to make an album with those pictures, Tenten?" Chouji ask before stuffing his face with potato chips.

Tenten giggles "Of course! I'm going to take lots of pictures!"

Shikamaru sigh as he looks at his right to stare at Tenten with a bored expression while his friend is busy snapping pictures now and then. He looks around in search of his other friends. He finds Lee hiding behind a tree with a binocular, Shino is observing from inside their room, barely hiding himself behind a curtain while Kiba is staying on guard by the tool shed.

"They really are playing their part to a whole new level. Tch, so troublesome" Shikamaru thinks, he glance at Chouji to see him writing down on their 'SNCPS Journal' while eating his chips.He He Shikamaru is currently torn between laughing and crying, honestly, his friends are taking their job too seriously.

He then notice Sasuke sit beside Naruto, suddenly, his eyes widen at what he hears.

Sasuke, with all the confidence that pours out of his profile calmly sits beside Naruto. He reaches out to hold Naruto's hand as the blonde looks at him with a smile. "Naruto… my love for you is like a diarrhea, I just can't hold it in"

Naruto blinks, trying to process what Sasuke said but his only interpretation is that 'Sasuke's love for him is only because said fiancé is under the influence of diarrhea' – where he get such idea is unknown – he puffs his cheeks out as he stare angrily at Sasuke "TEME!" he shouts before he whacks Sasuke on the head.

Sasuke wince "Oooh… feisty"

Naruto stands up furiously before heading to their classroom with a cute frown and pout on his face. "Naruto, wait! Aren't you forgetting something?!" Sasuke shouts after him, Naruto looks back to stare angrily at Sasuke "What?!"

Sasuke smirk "Me"

Naruto glares cutely at him before turning around, leaving him behind. The SasuNaru Crime Prevention Squad or SNCPS could only gape. Just what on earth is Sasuke trying to do?

Sasuke nurse his aching head, "My fiancé can be really brutal at times, I wonder why" he thinks. "Hn. It didn't work, I need to think of something else" he mumbles.

Not far from where Sasuke is, hiding in the shadows are Madara and Kakashi. They slowly walks away before dashing somewhere, once they stop, they look at each other and laugh… hard. Man, what a good show.

S x N

Third attempt…

As a teacher, watching your cute little students busy coloring some pictures is actually fun, right? Wrong. Not when you have a student like… Uchiha Sasuke.

"Naruto…" Sasuke calls softly, Naruto turns to his right to stare at his fiancé blankly, still upset that his fiancé only loves him because the raven is under the influence of diarrhea – or so he thinks – Sasuke smile lovingly causing Naruto's cheeks to turn pink "If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years…" he starts before holding Naruto's right hand "…they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you" Sasuke then kiss Naruto's hand before flashing him a charming smile. Naruto's face turns a darker shade of red.

Iruka's jaw drops "What… is he doing?"

Shikamaru and the rest of SNCPS could only stare, Sasuke's fan girls are sulking while Neji, Gaara and Hinata are glaring jealously at Sasuke.

S x N

Fourth attempt…

Iruka smile down at his little students, already forgetting the little… err… incident… with Sasuke. His eyes then wander towards Naruto who is busy arranging his things inside his bag "Cute. Really cute" Iruka thinks with a soft blush, he really wants to just cuddle the cute little blonde.

Iruka's cooing session inside his head is interrupted when Sasuke… the Uchiha Sasuke suddenly speak, only for poor Iruka to be traumatize once again… all because he realize what Sasuke is doing…

After Naruto fix his things, he looks at his right where his best friend slash fiancé is. He gives Sasuke a bright smile when Sasuke's onyx orbs locks in his own cerulean ones. This is when Sasuke's ultra-genius head gives him a very intelligent idea, smiling at his beloved bride he asks "Naru-chan my sweet precious love, do you have a map?"

Naruto blinks before tilting his head cutely to the left – cue the cooing noises from his fans – confusion written in his face "No, I don't have one, why?"

Sasuke smirks, leaning closely to Naruto before saying in a dreamy tone "Because I'm getting lost in your eyes, baby"

Naruto's eyes widen and his face becomes the color of tomato that Sasuke likes very much.

The SNCPS jaws drop, and Iruka… he nearly faints when he realizes that, yes, Sasuke… six years old Uchiha Sasuke is using… pick-up lines… on sweet innocent Naruto.

S x N

Fifth attempt…

Sasuke and Naruto are currently walking home, along with Itachi and his friends. Naruto is currently eating a chocolate ice-cream that Konan bought for him on the way; his right hand is laced together with Sasuke. Itachi is right behind them; Itachi's friends are behind the said raven chatting with each other.

Along the way, Sasuke notice a stop light ahead of them; a new idea pops in his head.

Turning to his unsuspecting fiancé he inwardly smirks, "Naru-chan, my love" he calls out, Itachi and his friends looks at Sasuke, they could feel that something is about to happen, and Itachi can feel another wonderfully painful headache marching towards him.

Naruto turns to Sasuke questioningly "If I were a stop light, I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a little longer" Sasuke says before bringing the hand he is currently holding and placing a soft tender kiss on his beloved's hand causing the blonde to blush as he looks away, totally embarrass.

Itachi and his friends stare at Sasuke with wide eyes "No way… no… freaking way" they inwardly thinks.

S x N

Sixth attempt…

Night comes by very fast, and Sasuke is currently at the living room inside the Namikaze household with his fiancé and in-laws. Sasuke and Naruto are both reading a book together about Peter Pan; Kushina is reading some fashion magazine while Minato is reading a biography book.

Sasuke looks up from the book they are reading to stare at Naruto "You know, Naru-chan… there must be something wrong with my eyes…"

Naruto, along with Minato and Kushina looks at Sasuke worriedly "Why? What's wrong, Sasu?" ask the worried little blonde, Sasuke smile before caressing Naruto's right cheek lovingly – completely forgetting that his in-laws are in the same room – before pecking Naruto's lips "I can't take my eyes off you, honey"

Naruto… once again, blush, Minato faints on the loveseat, while Kushina is squealing and giggling like the fan girl that she is.

At the mansion right next to them, Mikoto's 'YAOI Fan Girl Senses' are tingling pleasantly, she can't help but smile brightly causing her husband to stare at her with wide eyes and gulps.

Inside his room, Itachi can't help but shiver "I only feel like this whenever Sasuke is doing something stupidly perverted!" he groans. "Curse whoever taught Sasuke to be that way! Curse whoever taught Sasuke pick-up lines! Curse them all to hell!"

Somewhere, at some random bookstore, Madara and Kakashi suddenly shivers in fear. Kakashi look at his companion and ask "Do you think Itachi would try to kill us when he find out?"

Madara raise a brow "He won't try, he will kill us. Besides, if old Hashirama is still alive, he'd surely maim us both for tainting Sasuke's young mind only for him to taint the youngest member of Mito's clan"

"Hashirama-sama is not that old, besides, isn't he your best friend?"

Madara rolls his eyes "Yes, he's my 'BFF' but he's fifteen years older than me so he's old. I'm glad that Tobirama is in heaven too, he'll definitely kill us as well, you know"

A few seconds of silence, then "Obito would surely flip when he finds out we've been teaching Sasuke some things" says Kakashi, the only response he receives is a chuckle.

S x N

Itachi's diar- err... journal…

'Hey.

Let me be direct, Sasuke, my little brother, is using pick-up lines on Naruto. Where he learned that, I have no idea. I swear if I find out who taught Sasuke such things, I will kill them. Yes, them. I have a feeling that someone else taught Sasuke how to use pick-up lines.

How dare those two bastards teach my baby brother such unforgiveable things!

That's it for now.

Itachi

P.S: I'll make sure to tear them apart limb after limb and put their body parts in a meat processor to feed them to Kisame's pet shark.'

In their sleep, Kakashi suddenly shivers while Madara frowns.

Sasuke's journal thingy…

'Journal thingy,

Hn.

Today, I learned something.

I learned how effective using pick-up lines are to my beloved Naruto. He kept blushing! Ha! I bet Neji, Gaara and Hinata are exploding from jealousy! I should use pick-up lines more often. The knowledge that only I, Uchiha Sasuke, can make my beloved bride, Uzumaki Naruto, blush cutely like that is really satisfying. And the privilege that only I, Uchiha Sasuke, can only have and no one else is far too great.

It's not that I'm going to abuse it, no; it's only to let my rivals know that Naru-chan is only MINE! And that Naru-chan has chosen ME! Heh!

Anyway, life is good, all because my sweet Naru-chan is with me. :D

The amazing one,

Sasuke

PS: I must bring a hand mirror tomorrow; it's going to be useful for pleasing my beloved'

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RS: well… how is it? i hope you guys like this chapter all of your reviews are appreciated! love lots~