Chapter Nine:
August 2012
"My body breathes
Heart still beats
But I am not alive"
"Follow Me Down" the Pretty Reckless
"I got my ticket for the long way round
The one with the prettiest of views
It's got mountains
It's got rivers
It's got sights to give you shivers
But it sure would be prettier with you"
Only three remained at the RV, two on top of the large vehicle watching out over the ocean of glittering metal carcasses. The other half had gone off in search of Sophia, hoping that this time they would be lucky. While Dale stood watch and T-Dog rested in the shade, Heaven lay on her back on the roof, hands raised towards the sky. Her fingers danced below the blue and white, the sweet song wrapped in a warm summer's day.
" When I'm gone
When I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me by my walk
You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh
You're gonna miss me when I'm-"
Heaven stopped her song and sat up, rubbing her stomach. She frowned at the strange feeling. Dale looked over and asked her if she was alright, she ignored him, laughing when she realized what the feeling was. Turning back to him, she smiled brightly and continued to rub circles on her swelling stomach.
X
Heaven sat on top of the RV with Dale. Daryl had insisted that she get some sleep but with Carol sobbing in the back, she found it hard to do so. Instead she opted to sit outside and stare at the stars, just like she had when she was a teenager. Daryl warned her again to go to bed when he shuffled out with a flashlight, announcing that he was going to shine the light for Sophia. Heaven sighed and watched him disappear with Andrea in tow.
"He's just worried 'bout you, that's all." Dale reassured her with a smile.
There was something about Dale that made Heaven at ease. Maybe it was because he reminded her of her father, right before he died. The honest man that left her mother when she was just a baby, eager to get away from the God-fearing woman.
Heaven leaned back and pressed a hand to her side, everything was starting to get uncomfortable. "I know he is. But I ain't a little girl."
"Does he know?" Dale asked, an eyebrow quirked in curiosity.
"About what?"
"You being pregnant; does he know about it?" Dale confirmed making Heaven pale and pull her hand away from her side.
"Ya ain't allowed ta tell anyone." She warned, flicking her gaze towards the edge of the forest, afraid that Daryl was hiding close by, listening to them. "He ain't allowed ta know."
Dale crouched beside her, setting the butt of his rifle on the roof and holding onto the barrel. "If he's the father, he has a right to know."
Heaven stared at him with fearful eyes. "No, he can't know. He'll leave me."
"Why would he do that? No, Daryl wouldn't leave you if he knew." Dale said gently, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "How far along are you?"
"Five months, or 'round that." She whispered, casting her watery eyes to her hands. "He'd always said he didn't want kids- just not yet. Not until it's safe."
Dale sighed and looked out at the sea of cars. "I don't think it's ever going to be safe like it was before all this. But you can't pretend that the baby will go away if you ignore it. It's still there."
"Trust me," Heaven groaned, rubbing her stomach. "I know."
The bright shine of a flashlight ended their conversation. Daryl and Andrea emerged from the tree line and made their way towards the RV. They were alone, Sophia nowhere in sight. Heaven sighed. Daryl was trying his best to look for that little girl, the little girl he saw as either himself or Heaven. Abused by her father like Daryl and protected by her mother like Heaven.
Daryl sauntered over to the RV, lightly grabbing Heaven's heels as they hung over the edge. "Thought I told ya ta git ta bed."
"Can't sleep." Heaven mumbled, glancing over to Dale.
Dale smiled. "Sorry 'bout that. I stalled her with a little conversation."
"Right, bed. Now." Daryl cupped her calves and helped her down the side of the RV slowly, her hands on his shoulders.
With her feet on the ground, Heaven bid Dale goodnight and led Daryl lead her back into the RV, tucking her into the driver's seat next to Glenn, who was snoring softly in his sleep. Daryl placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head, ordering her to sleep.
X
Heaven fell in love with the Greene Farmhouse the moment she saw it. Daryl chuckled at her when they drove in, her face pressed against the window of Carol's Cherokee. She'd always wanted to live in an old farmhouse with wooden floors and a wraparound porch. And there it was, right in front of her.
The first time Daryl had seen her laugh- actually laugh- and smile for months was just after she opened the passenger side door. Heaven raced out of the car and danced around the yard, taking in the rolling pasture and cattle. Even with the gloomy mood, it was the little things that could make a person smile. Someone who hadn't smiled in a year. Someone Daryl thought was slipping away from him day by day.
"Daryl! Daryl, look!" Heaven sang, dashing to him and wrapping her arms around him so quickly he dropped his bags. "It's a farm!"
He chuckled, relieved to see her happy for once since that awful night eighteen months ago. Tucking his arms under her arms he spun her around and kissed her cheek.
X
February 2011
Daryl sat in the hard plastic chair, bent over with his head in his hands. He'd prayed to every god there was at least twice. He had paced the entire hospital, accepted the coffee Merle had brought when he visited a few hours before.
Two days ago Daryl wouldn't know what an ectopic pregnancy was or how it would affect him. But it had. The doctors said Heaven was lucky she saw the signs early or her fate could have been much worse. Daryl wasn't sure how it could have been even more heartbreaking than it was. In the middle of the night the woman that he loved began screaming in pain, their sheets soaked with blood.
A miscarriage. That's what they thought at first and he wasn't sure which was worse, losing the baby or having the misplaced fetus almost kill her. It had been two days since her surgery and she just laid there. Sometimes she'd sleep and sometimes she just stared at the ceiling, unresponsive to the world around her.
Still, Daryl refused to leave her side. He only wished that she'd show her emotions, even if it was anger or frustration or irritation. He'd take every punch and kick that she'd throw at him if it made her wipe that blank look off her face.
Daryl was afraid that she was slipping for good. The doctor told him that they could try again, after all, she still had another ovary. But that didn't matter. He didn't want to try again if it meant putting her in even more danger. Not again.
A/N: If you're wondering what an ectopic pregnancy is; it is when the fertilized egg attaches itself to somewhere other than the lining of the uterus. Normally it happens in the tubes and the growing fetus ruptures the tube, causing internal bleeding.
The song Heaven sings is the Cup song sung by Anna Kendrick.
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