Disclaimer: I own nothing. Gosh I wish I did. Can you imagine being the man (or woman) to have brought something as wonderful as Star Wars to life?! For one I wouldn't have sold it to Disney (no offence Disney I love you too). I'm just a simple Asian teen who grew up with Star Wars, was moved by The Clone Wars, loves Obi-Wan Kenobi and has a head full of imagination.

Author's Note: My apologies for how long it took. I've been drowning in my summer art courses at college and I'm finally at finals and got a "break" haha. Anyways this chapter will wrap us up! Thanks so so much for sticking with this story and definatly the people who have given me feedback and helped me change things here and there, kittyloverluna, ErinKenobi2893, nork956, and specially ahsokanerd thank you guys so so so so much!

Also I wanted to give a shout out (I don't know if your reading this or not) the-writer1988. His/Her (don't know which) writing has been SUPER instrumental in my own. I just wanted to say thanks for the help you have given me, even if you didn't know you were. Your stories are an inspiration to me. His Dangerous Games and A Mother's Love Series are THE BEST!

Chapter 10 Conflicted Feelings

Ahsoka paced back and forth across the colored rug. According to Obi-Wan the doctor was supposed to be here to talk with them before the sun set. She had already worked on the puzzle today and Padme was in the kitchen getting dinner ready. There was nothing left for her to do but wait. She was tired of pacing so she just fell onto the couch and looked up at the ceiling. After a while the green blue and tan tiled ceiling got boring to look at too. With a sigh she started to roll over only to feel a sharp pain in her rib. She felt around and finally grasped onto something.

Sitting up she found herself looking at a picture frame decorated with stickers and glitter. Inside the frame she could point out herself, Obi-Wan, Padme and... Anakin. Yes that was his name right? No matter how hard she tried, how painful a head ache she gave herself she couldn't remember what they had been doing that day; but by the looks of it, it had been a wonderful day.

She was so entranced with her memory problem she didn't see Padme come into the living room. When Padme spoke to her she jumped a little and the picture slipped from her hands and fell to the floor. When she picked it up she looked in Padme's direction and said, "What were we doing here?"

Padme sighed, only four days had gone by and Ahsoka already had forgotten. It wasn't her fault by any means, it just broke her heart to see this girl she had grown to love be like this. "It was taken at the mall a few blocks away. We... were out getting groceries and saw the booth-"

"oh... we looked so happy there." Ahsoka said as she traced each face with her finger.

Padme watched Ahsoka then went over and sat next to her. "Ahsoka, is something wrong?"

Ahsoka didn't look up at Padme, she only gripped the frame tighter, "What was I like? Before... was I always like this?"

Padme didn't answer at first. She had to look away from Ahsoka and get her emotions in check before she had the strength to face her girl sitting next to her. "You were a wonderful, beautiful, brave girl. Nothing has changed, you're still that girl Ahsoka. Never stop believing that."

She didn't get an immediate response from Ahsoka which was becoming more common with each conversation held. When Ahsoka did finally speak she didn't know how to respond.

"Did I love you, Anakin and Obi-Wan like I do now?"

They were sitting comfortably on the couches, all except for him. No matter how much this would mean to have Ahsoka's memories back and her memory capacity restored he wasn't completely on board with the idea. His feelings about this whole operation were in a piled mess. It didn't take long to fall in love with the curious bright-eye girl that he Obi-Wan and Padme had taken under their wings since Zygeria yet at times he missed the sass Ahsoka used to have before Zygeria; it wouldn't hurt to have that part of her back, no not at all. The thing that was keeping him from agreeing with this operation was... the fact that Ahsoka never trusted Anakin before. If this doctor did his work and if by the Force Ahsoka survived would she still love him like a big brother? or would they be back to square one when she wouldn't let him any closer than arms length?

It was plain selfishness and fear but he didn't care.

The doctor pulled up some holographic charts and started to explain the procedure, "After studying for about three years I came to realize that when the patient was put into a life threatening situation at the very last moment the memory storage part of the brain, " he pointed to a part of the brain that was floating off the coffee table, "wakes up and the memory is restored. So after that discovery I created a serum that makes the patient hallucinate and believe they were shot, in a wreck the list goes on and on it depends from person to person; then when the memory is restored they can then wake themselves up from the serum and their memory should be back."

The room was silent and nothing moved but the brain hologram and Anakin's eyes. He watched Padme and Obi-Wan, he watched their movements when they did finally move and wondered if after hearing the "good doctors" theory if they believed this was the right way to go.

Obi-Wan stroked his beard while his other hand still held Ahsoka's. "So, Doctor... do you still consider this... serum an experiment?"

Dr. Ferddie sadly nodded, "I'm afraid so Master Kenobi. It's been a long eighteen years and over that only fourth willing families have allowed me to try my procedure on their... memory-less members."

Obi-Wan possessively wrapped his arms around Ahsoka while thinking over what Dr. Ferrdie had just said. No one said anything. Anakin walked over and leaned against the back of the couch where Obi-Wan Ahsoka and Padme sat, he gave them a few more minutes. With such a long pause of silence he was taking it as they didn't want to go through with this crazy idea anymore so he took a deep breath and was about to dismiss the "doctor" when Padme spoke up.

"What were your exact results doctor?"

Ferrdie bit his lower lip and started to rub his hands on his knees. "The exact results senator... out of forty only eight survived and only four of those eight regained their memory over time... I know they don't look promising but as Knight Eerie pointed out it depended from patient to patient. Seeing your Ahsoka in person, shes strong ma'am, I have full faith she could make it through."

Anakin gripped the couch harder and it took all his will power to not burst out and give this guy a piece of his mind. "What do you hope to gain from this Doctor?"

This was the first time he spoke up since this meting began. Everyone turned so they could look up at him, including Ahsoka. He eased off the couch and crossed his arms across his chest not changing his gaze from Ferddie. The doctor opened his mouth to speak but then Anakin added in, "and you better not say 'just another test to see if it works' because if you are even thinking that you kriffing WON'T!-"

"Anakin!" Padme exclaimed. She was going to say more but Obi-Wan placed a hand on her shoulder then he got up and motioned for Anakin to follow him to another room.

With a huff Anakin followed after his master. Once the door was closed and they were alone Obi-Wan turned to face Anakin, "What is wrong with you? I know you're usually rude to guests but never this rude."

"hey!" he uncrossed his arms, thought about what Obi-Wan just said then crossed them again and hunched his shoulders, "okay ya I am but I don't give a kriff about this guy Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan sighed and lowered his head, "Anakin we have to make the most of this... this could be Ahsoka's only chance-"

Anakin interrupted him with as much heat in his voice as he had when talking to the doctor, "Why should we risk it? It could... change her into someone else that's NOT that Ahsoka we love or even worse take her away from us permanently. You can't deny you like her why are you even thinking of agreeing to this!?."

Anakin waited some-what patiently while his master thought about how to say what he was going to say. "My feelings have nothing to do with this Anakin. If we continue to let Ahsoka live like this the future is uncertain. She could lose her memory capacity completely forced to re-learn everything day to day.

Anakin shifted his weight a couple of times then mumbled, "It's better than losing her all together..."

Obi-Wan crossed his arms, "Alright the other option could be that she could live like this for the rest of her life; remembering a few days at a time before forgetting everything and having to start all over again. She hardly remembers you because you couldn't visit three days ago. Imagine if we or Padme were gone for a few days straight. How long would we have to work to gain her trust again? Do you wish to see her like this? She isn't happy Anakin."

"Of course not master..." Anakin couldn't bring himself to say anything else so he averted his eyes to the weird abstract painting on the wall. He didn't know if he should admit his fear to Obi-Wan or not, would he think they were childish and just tell him to brush them off?

Obi-Wan watched Anakin trying to feel what was bothering him so much. They both stood in silence thinking to themselves for a good long while. After thinking about it so much Obi-Wan, being The Negotiator that he was, had come to a conclusion but only Anakin could tell him if he was right or wrong. "Anakin?"

Anakin didn't say anything, the only thing he did was look into Obi-Wan's concerned eye's

"Anakin I'm scared about this whole thing too. I know its not the Jedi way to fear but we are human too." he took a deep breath, this was a 'do or die' situation and there was no turning back now, "She was finally starting to accept you on Zygeria Anakin. You won't lose her if her memory is restored."

Anakin couldn't think of anything to say, instead he let one loose tear slip from his eye and allowed Obi-Wan to give him a short and sweet embrace.

Then together they went back out into the living room

She stood before the big white door with a fist full of hospital gown in both hands. The gown was huge on her going past her knees. This was her choice and her choice alone. It scared her to think that she "may not come out of it" but she was willing to take that risk. It was... two no three days ago when the doctor... Ferrdie told her about what was going to happen. She couldn't remember everything but that was alright, all she was sure of was that this was her chance to get her memory back.

She felt a light tap and her right shoulder so she turned around, only to hear a chuckle coming from her left side. When she turned the other way she found Anakin kneeling beside her smiling with red water filled eyes.

"Hey!" she laughed a little too then turned to fully face him.

"Gottcha snips." he said as he reached out and tapped her nose.

Snips, that made her smile. It wasn't her name, no her name was Ahsoka, but she had done something; she couldn't remember what, and that had given Anakin the idea to call her snips from then on out. It was called a... nickname and she liked it a lot. Obi-Wan had a nickname for her too... what was it he called her? She couldn't remember...

She took his big gloved hand into her, "You got me this time Ani, but I'll get you next time."

He smiled and gave her a little kiss on the forehead and said, "I'll be expecting it."

He stood up and let Padme walk over and give Ahsoka a big bone criushing hug. Padme handed Ahsoka her sticker and glitter covered photo booth picture and let her look all over it. Ahsoka had never seen such bright colors before. She soaked in the colors, the texture of the glitter then most of all the picture itself. When had that been taken? She didn't remember doing this. She wasn't given any more time to think about that because Padme spoke in a really soft and gentle tone, "You stay safe Ahsoka, We'll be waiting for you when you wake up okay?"

Ahsoka looked up at Anakin who had his arm wrapped around Padme, they were smiling at her. She nodded and leaned in and gave them both a hug. As they were hugging the door slid open and the Dr. Ferrdie came out all dressed in white, "we are ready if you are my dear."

She stared to nod but then felt there was one last thing she needed to do. She looked at the picture once more then frantically looked around the room. Her eyes finally found him sitting in one of the chairs against the wall. Obi-Wan. She quickly ran over and nearly jumped into his lamp and wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt his arms wrap around her too and she felt something cool and moist fall onto her right montral. When she leaned back his beautiful blue-grey eyes were looking into hers. "You will be there too won't you?"

He smiled and barely was able to make himself speak, "Of course, I wouldn't miss being with my Lil'Soka for anything in the world."

She watched another tear fall from his eye and get lost in his beard. He kissed her forehead then in one swift motion he had her in her arms and was following the doctor into the room. They laid her in a bed and attached many different wires and tubes to her. It was scary but Obi-Wan was there next to her and was holding her hand the whole time. He kept saying soothing things and sending her soothing feelings in her mind. She started to get sleepy but that was alright, Obi-Wan was there and he'd watch over her. The last thing she saw was his blue eyes looking at her.

She and her mother waited until the taxi had come to a full stop before getting in. Her mother went in first so she would be able to pay the taxi man. Once that was done they were off. She smiled and thought about the wonderful day they had had together. When they stopped at a stop light she looked down at her new boots and clicked her feet together. They were clean strong stylish and probably good running shoes. She couldn't wait to start running in them. Yes this was a good day. The light turned green and they started to go. Living in the country didn't give her many times to come into the city, much less ride in a taxi! She looked out the window to watch the world fly by, only to see a big dark speeder coming flying straight at her.

The next thing she knew she was in a lot of hurt and was hanging from her seat belt upside down. Her thoughts were all a big jumbled mess and all she wanted to do was close her eyes and make the pain go away. It was getting harder to breath and everything hurt. She closed her eyes and went limp.

Then something glorious filled her empty mind. The pain faded away and her memory was coming back to her. She remembered her momma, her daddy, Shill, Kiros, Zygeria, the mall day, and the operation. She was filled with excitement yet... mixed feelings. She would worry about the feelings later when she woke up. The only thing was that she wasn't waking up. She kept telling herself over and over that the wreck was just a set up. That it was a mistake, She was on Coruscant alive and healthy in the halls of healing at Jedi Temple. This was a serum, a stupid serum and she needed to wake up.

She looked around, everything was dark a black void with no sense of direction. She started to worry rather a lot, what would happen if she never woke up? Every time she tried reaching for where she thought life would be she came up empty and even more tired than she had been before. She was losing more than gaining every time she moved so she decided to remain still. Sadly that made her weaker too. With ever passing second she was getting weaker and weaker and there was nothing she could do. Nothing to stop it. She was so lost and confused. All she wanted to do was sit down and cry, her feelings were so mixed up. Too weak to do anything else and her thoughts becoming fuzzy and hard to understand. Hesitantly she closed her eyes and let herself disappear into nothing.

The monitor went flat. Nothing was happening. The room was silent. Padme pushed her teary face into Anakin's chest as Anakin started to yell at Dr. Ro-Ensen. Obi-Wan gripped Ahsoka's hand even tighter and pressed it to his face not saying verbal words, rather words in his mind. /Lil'Soka wake up child/

She was letting everything go but then... she heard something.

Lil'Soka wake up child.

Obi-Wan. He was calling to her. She tried to get up and follow where his voice came from but she was too weak to even open her eyes. His voice faded and she couldn't tell where it had come from anymore. She lost all hope of ever waking up.

Then she felt a soft touch caress her cheek. With that one touch she felt new strength rush into her body. She opened her eyes and saw a glowing for leaning over her. Barely above a whisper she spoke, "daddy."

He smiled and helped her sit up. He didn't look old to her, actually like the younger Uncle Roshti she had seen in the photo album back home. He leaned over and kissed her head then helped her to her feet. The black void was starting to turn grey, she was coming back.

Ryoku started to fade before her. She didn't want him to leave, there were so many things she still wanted to ask him. He gently tugged on his old padawan braid hanging from her montral and smiled. "I never meant for your to get tangled up in the war Ahsoka. I never planed on leaving you."

Slowly she nodded, never taking her eyes off his.

He caressed her cheek again as he stared to fade away even more, "They are good people Ahsoka, I wouldn't want you with anyone else but them. I will see you again one day my precious child."

The words echoed in her mind as the void around her became so bright she was forced to close her eyes.

-LINE BREAK-

She blinked a couple of times before her eyes opened and stayed opened. The first thing she saw was a white ceiling. She moved her head and saw white walls, white blankets, white clothes, doors and pillows. Too much white. When she pushed the covers off she found white gown and sighed. They really needed to change the colors. The second thing she saw was a IV on her right hand. Her face turned into a sneer as she pulled the blasted thing off and tossed it aside. Next to her bed was Obi-Wan with his head in his hands sound asleep, it made her smile. He was there just like he promised. So were Padme and Anakin, they were asleep too but they were on the little white couch against the wall. Anakin... Padme... Obi-Wan... her smile quickly turned to a frown.

Feelings from her past collided head on with her feelings of the past few weeks. Which could she truly trust? She had to go think. Luckly there was a glass door leading out to a balcony. Quietly she got out of bed, slid the door open and let the rush of the cool Coruscant night hit her. She took a deep breath and let it all in then went and leaned against the railing.

What was she to do? The operation had worked, she'd have to thank Dr. Ro-Ensen the next time she saw him. Thinking back she remembered her uncle coming to see her after Zygeria. He didn't want her... he rejected her. No she didn't want to go back to Kiros, never. Where did that leave her? Sure Padme let her stay at her place but would she continue to let her stay now that she wasn't a hindrance? Then there was Anakin... She remembered she hated him, didn't and couldn't trust him. She turned around and looked in Anakin's direction. For the first time in a long time she reached out and touched the Force. She looked directly at Anakin. The last time she did this she shivered, but this time she didn't. He wasn't the dark and loud thunder cloud she remembered from Zygeria, instead he was... calm? conflicted? worried?

She turned back around and put her head in her hands. She was so confused. Her old self was telling her to just jump off the balcony, it wasn't a far jump she could make it, and just run away but the other half was screaming at her to stay. She could't decided what to do. Would they miss her? Would they even care? Since her memory was back would they send her away or worse back to Kiros and leave her there?

"These are good people Ahsoka. I wouldn't want you with anyone else but them." Her fathers words echoed in her mind time and time again. It wouldn't leave her alone. She wondered how true her father's words were. How well did her father know them?

"Everyone knew of us Lil'Soka but very few really knew us."

She jumped at the sound of a voice and turned around when she heard him speak. There at the door stood Obi-Wan. He looked tired but he was smiling at her. Slowly she remembered how to check her shielding and noticed that her mind was like an open book. Very carefully she put some shields up.

Obi-Wan walked over and leaned against the railing next to her, she took one step away from him. The moment she did that she wished he hadn't. He looked over and noticed, his eyes when they were concerned were either the worst or the most beautiful thing she would ever see, she couldn't decide. They were blue and grey, mostly grey and they were looking right at her.

It was always his eye, and only his eyes that held the key to her heart.

She bit her lip and rapidly started blinking. Carefully and slowly not to frighten her she watched as his hand slowly moved closer and closer until it was wrapped around hers.

"I'm thrilled to see your memory has been restored Lil'Soka." Lil'Soka, that beautiful nickname she had given him permission to call her. The name he said he calls his child, the child he loves the most. Then she didn't know Jedi didn't have families much less children. Now she knew, and now she understood the hidden meaning behind his nickname. "You have nothing to fear, I will always be here for you, just like before."

Just like before... Before he was that one that she loved to be around, hated to see leave when he had to go home to the temple, the one she liked doing puzzles with the most, the one who made her feel safe even in giant crowds, the one who always knew what to do and what she needed, and the one who would constantly tell her how much he loved her.

Her feelings were so mixed up she didn't what to do. Just like before he was the one who knew what she needed. As Ahsoka finally broke down and her puny shields came tumbling down and the tears started freely flowing Obi-Wan pulled her in and let her use him for support.

Letting her know he was there for her. Showing her how much he loved her.