As he sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands he kept getting the same imagine running through his head. The image of his best friend, his brother, standing in the doorway. But it wasn't the Derek he knew. The Derek he knew would have been yelling, screaming. The Derek he knew would have thrown him out the third story window. Instead this man just stood there, staring, not saying a word. He didn't shake his head; he barely even acknowledged that he saw what was in front of him. He just stood there stone faced. And then he turned around like he didn't see anything.

Mark and Addison didn't say much after they heard the front door slam shut. He told her that he would call her later while he got dressed. He asked if she wanted him to wait with her till Derek came back but she refused. She said that she had to do this alone. And Mark understood, he knew Derek would never hurt her or anything, he just wanted to offer emotional support. But there was really nothing he could do. Would Derek even come back? Of course he would. Would he yell then? Would he try and fight for her now that he had a little wake up call? Or would he just back away? Maybe he would show up a Marks door with a shot gun. That, would not be a first for Mark Sloan. The guilt that he had been surpressing for the past few months started to make him physically sick. He ran to the bathroom and lost everything he had eaten that day. As he sat on the floor leaning back against the tub he remembered the first day he met Derek.

It was his first day in a new school and he was as nervous as any 7 year old would be. It was lunch time and he had no one to sit with. Not to mention he didn't even have a lunch.

The alarm clock had woken him up at 8:00 and he had brushed his teeth and put on the clothes the maid had left for him the night before. His mother and father had left for work over an hour ago. Mark had more or less been taking care of himself since his first day of kindergarten. He got downstairs and found some cereal on the table and a small carton of milk in the refrigerator. He ate his breakfast and went outside to wait for the bus.

Now he had arrived at lunch time and realized that no one had put any lunch in the backpack that had been left out for him. So he sat alone at the end of a long table where another group of kids sat talking happily at the other end. It was about 5 minutes before one of the boys at the other end got up and walked down to Mark's end of the table.

"How come you're not eating any lunch new kid?"

"My mom didn't give me any, and I don't have any money either."

"Do you like peanut butter and Jelly?"

Mark shrugged his little shoulders. "I guess so."

"Well come on." The boy started walking back to his friends and Mark watched him for a minute. "Come on, sit down here." He gestured for mark to follow him, so Mark stood up and followed the boy to the other end of the table and sat down in the chair next to him. He opened up his lunch box that was filled with crackers, an apple and some cookies. He took out a sandwich and handed half of it to Mark. "Here take it, everyone has to eat lunch."

Mark took it greatfuly, as his stomach had started to rumble. "Thanks!"

"You're welcome. My name is Derek." The boy stuck out his hand.

Mark took shook his hand while still eating the sandwich with the other. "I am Mark Sloan."

From that moment on Mark and Derek had been inseparable. Mark had gone over to Derek's house that afternoon and Derek told his mom about Marks mom not giving him any lunch. Well, Mrs. Shepherd would hear none of that. She might as well have adopted Mark right then and there. She made them grilled cheese sandwiches while they played with Derek's leggos.

From then on they had been like brothers. They fought like brothers too, but they had always gotten over it and been best friends again the next day. But now, Mark didn't think Derek could ever forgive him for this. He didn't think he could ever forgive himself for doing this to Derek. It was Addison's doing too, but Mark should have known better. He should have said no. If he really cared about them both as much as he told himself he did, he would have told her that he loved her, but nothing could happen unless she left Derek. Derek probably still would have been furious, but that he might have been able to get over. But this... He would never forgive him for this.

"So that was the last time I saw him. He left town less than a week later. Set it up with his lawyers to sell his half of the practice to me, packed up his things and left. Addison found out from Richard that he ended up in Seattle."

"They didn't sign divorce papers though?"

"No."

"And that didn't concern you a little?"

"Not at the time no. I figured it was only a matter of time before he had them mailed out. I didn't think he was ever coming back here."

"What was your relationship with Derek's sisters like?"

Mark laughed "You sure do jump around."

"I like to keep you on your toes."

"Well its working."

"Good. So, answer the question."

"Well, the three older ones all loved me. They treated Derek like any sisters treat their little brother, but they always kind of doted on me."

"You could probably get away with anything by smiling at them, right?"

"Hah, pretty much, yeah."

"Some things never change. What about the younger one?"

"She never took any crap from me. If I tried to smile at her she kicked me in the shins… or worse…" He cringed at the memory of the pain those tiny knees could inflict to certain sensitive areas.

"Let me guess, that was Nancy?"

"Yup. With Derek's other sisters I had them wrapped around my finger, but with her it was the other way around."

"Hmm. Well we're almost out of time this week, but I have one last question. If it came down to choosing, who would you choose?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well if you could have Addison back, and be with her again, or you could make up with Derek and have your best friend back, which would you choose?"

"Addison, no question. I would love to have Derek back as my friend, but Addison is everything to me. I knew I was giving him up for her from the very beginning, and as bad as it may sound, I would do it again if I had to."

"Ok, well, we have made some good progress today I think."

"Really?"

"Are you sleeping any better?"

"Not $400 worth of better."

"Hmm well I guess I'll just have to see what we can do about that… Next week."

Mark grinned and raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Not in a sexual manner Dr. Sloan."

"We could. I say it's worth a try. Call it a medical experiment. I happily volunteer myself."

"I have absolutely no interest in experimenting with you."

"Oh I disagree."

"Really? And why is that?"

"Because your skirts have gotten progressively shorter every week I have been here. Don't think I didn't notice. You have great legs."

She stared him in the eye, never giving up an inch of ground. "Let's let me be the psychologist here, shall we?"

Mark smiled at her again and stood up. "See you next week Doc."