CHAPTER 10: Ridiculous, Crazy, Yet Beautiful
"Keiko, Keiko!"
"Ridiculous, this is just ridiculous."
"What? Keiko wait up!"
Keiko stopped walking and spun around to look at Bulma. They were now way outside of the Tournament area, with no one around. Bulma was shocked to see the tears streaming down Keiko's face, and the pure look of hurt that was displayed made Bulma just want to give her a hug, but Keiko wasn't about to let anyone try to console her right now.
"It's ridiculous!" Keiko yelled, her hands balled up into fists.
"I know, I mean I don't know what just happened, but whatever it was is just…wow," Bulma stated.
"I know what just happened and it's absurd! He promised to marry her years ago, when he didn't even know what it was! And now, and now," Keiko stopped to regain her composure, the tears still streaming, "Just because I had known him since I was ten didn't give me the right to bind him into marriage!"
"I know you're hurt but-"
"Hurt? I don't even know if there is a word for this. I mean, goodness, I just wanted a date with him, but she gets marriage? Before I even had a chance, he is gone," Keiko let a sob creep out, and her body began to shake, "I feel so dumb right now," she whispered and Bulma came up and gave her a hug.
"You're not being dumb," she said, but in fact Bulma did find it odd that Keiko was acting out like this. She figured Keiko just had a little crush on Goku, that she could move on, and yes Goku getting engaged was odd, but nothing to sob over.
"I've loved him my whole life, but that doesn't mean a thing anymore," Keiko breathed, the tears beginning to cease.
"What?" Bulma asked shocked as she moved away from Keiko. Loved, did she just say loved?
"That's why I feel so dumb," Keiko threw her arms up in the air before walking towards a curb and sitting down, "I shouldn't be feeling like this, I shouldn't be crying like this. I should be shocked, yes, but I should get over it. My heart shouldn't hurt this bad, but it does," she paused to look up at Bulma, who simply stood in front of her.
"Maybe if I had just admitted to myself that I liked him earlier then things would have been different. It's just, why would he like me? I'm shy, awkward, weak, delicate, everything he wouldn't want. So instead of admitting that I liked him, I just denied it, because I knew if I let myself like him I would just get hurt. Well look where we are now!" Keiko laughed as she held her arms out, "I say 'hey Keiko it's okay to like Goku what's the worst that can happen? He won't like you back? That's not too bad!', no the worst that can happen is he gets engaged in a matter of five minutes. That's the worst that could happen, and whoops, look who's engaged!"
"Keiko…" Bulma whispered as she watched her friend go through such pain.
"I could have told him, I should have. I should have said something when we were ten, or at the last Tournament, or even wrote him a letter during the past three years. I knew I loved him then, I should have said something, anything, and then maybe things would be different."
"You can still tell him," Bulma suggested.
"No I can't," Keiko shook her head as she wiped the tears from her face, "What good would it do? She got there first," Keiko said referring to Chi-Chi, "She had the guts to admit it to him, maybe she deserves him."
"Don't say that, she isn't better than you, this has nothing to do with that. Goku just doesn't know how you feel, but if you tell him then-"
"Then what? He will leave her? We will fall magically in love and will live happily ever after. Life doesn't work like that Bulma."
"I don't know what else to say," Bulma said, at a loss for words now that she knew just how Keiko felt about Goku. Now she didn't think Keiko was being so silly anymore, now she knew that Keiko had a right to cry about this. She loved him, but now she can't, now she is being forced to stop whatever feelings she had for him, or at least hide them.
"I guess I get over it huh?" a sad smile graced Keiko's beautiful face, and Bulma wished that Goku could see her now, to see just how much Keiko cares for him.
"No," Bulma said, "I don't know if you can just get over it."
"Me either," Keiko sighed before she stood up and wiped the tears from her eyes, "Yamcha is probably fighting right now, we should get back."
"We don't have-"
"I'm fine," Keiko smiled, but both of them knew that she wasn't 'fine', and she wouldn't be for a while.
Keiko was in a daze for the rest of the Tournament; her mind simply would not stop running. She wasn't even focusing on Yamcha's fight, in fact Paur was the one who had to tell her it was over and Yamcha had lost to Hero, who didn't seem to have much fighting ability but managed to beat Yamcha none the less. Everyone went to dinner after the Tournament; Chi-Chi introduced herself to everyone before they all left though. She seemed nice, but Keiko couldn't even listen to a word she said. She didn't go with them to dinner, which Keiko was grateful for, but it didn't take any of the pain away.
"Are you okay Keiko?" Krillin asked as they sat around the large table at the Restaurant.
"Yeah," she shrugged as she moved the food around on her plate; her stomach was in too many knots to actually eat.
"You don't seem okay," he whispered, and all Keiko could do was give him a closed lipped smile, one that even Krillin could see the sadness in. He seemed shocked as Keiko looked away and once again began picking at her food.
"Goku," Krillin nudged his friend, who was busy stuffing his face with food.
"Huh?" he asked, taking a break to look over at his friend.
"Do you know what's up with Keiko?" he whispered and both of them looked over at the dark haired girl.
"She looks okay to me," Goku shrugged.
"No, just look," Krillin said and moved away from him, "Keiko, do you like your food?"
"What?" she asked, not hearing him, so she looked over to see him and Goku looking at her.
"Did you like your food?" Krillin asked again, and Keiko looked down at her plate and then back up at him.
"Yeah," she said before turning her attention away from them again.
"See?" Krillin whispered to Goku once Keiko wasn't paying attention to them anymore.
"She looks upset," Goku said as he continued to look at Keiko's face.
"More than upset even, I can't even find a word to describe it," Krillin said, "So do you have any idea what's wrong with her."
"Nope, why don't you ask her?"
"I did, she said she was fine."
"She doesn't look fine."
"Exactly, I guess maybe we will find out later," Krillin shrugged and went back to eating his dinner.
"I guess," Goku said softly as he continued to look at a side of Keiko he had never seen before.
Although Keiko didn't want it to happen, she knew there would be talk of Goku's engagement. Jokes were made, statements said, all of it burned in Keiko's ears. She wanted to yell out how she couldn't believe it, she wanted to cry that it didn't make sense, but she held it all inside, and simply sat there and listened to it. Everyone was surprised at the engagement, but supported Goku, which was more than what could be said for Keiko. She tried to convince herself that she didn't support it because it was much too fast paced. That she didn't support it because it was much too ridiculous that just because he promised her marriage years ago that he would have to go through with it now. But although she did believe all those things, those weren't the main reasons she didn't support it. She couldn't stand the thought of Goku being with someone else, and of her never even having the chance to let him know how she felt- that's why she didn't support it, because when you love someone for years and now have to see all of the possibilities shatter, you can't support it.
Keiko didn't say a word to Krillin or Goku on the way back to the hotel. Instead she walked next to Bulma, and remained almost completely silent. Everyone seemed to realize that something was wrong, but when asked Bulma spoke for her, saying how Keiko simply didn't feel well and was tired. After that explanation, Keiko was left alone, and when everyone went to their separate rooms everyone was under the assumption that Keiko would feel better in the morning, but Goku and Krillin knew that that would not be the case.
"Do you want to play cards Keiko?" Krillin asked as Keiko laid on her bed, already in pajama pants and a t-shirt, the covers pulled up to her shoulders as she lay on her side.
"No thank you," she mumbled, and all Krillin could do was look at Goku.
"C'mon Keiko, it'll be fun," Goku tried to coax her into it, but this time Keiko didn't even reply.
"She's probably just tired," Krillin whispered as he looked at the clock to see that yes it was late, but it was much earlier than the time Keiko usually went to sleep.
Goku just shrugged, not being able to stop wondering what was wrong with Keiko. Krillin and Goku stayed up for a little while more, not really talking, but instead just checking on Keiko, making sure she was okay. Keiko didn't respond to them, so eventually they decided to just go to sleep. When the light went off Keiko was still awake, not being able to fall asleep. She waited a while until she was pretty sure that Goku and Krillin were asleep before she let the first tear slip from her eyes. They were silent, but constant, and showed no sign of stopping anytime soon. She felt cold so she pulled the blankets close to her, but it did nothing to help. Her heart hurt, as if there was an immense cold brewing inside of her that was spreading throughout her whole body. Her stomach was in knots, so badly that she felt slightly sick. All of this combined made sleep impossible, so instead she just laid there in the dark, just her and her thoughts, or so she thought.
"Keiko?"
She couldn't breathe, and as swiftly as possible she reached a hand up to her face to frantically wipe the tears away. She heard the side of the bed that she wasn't on squeak due to body weight, and soon a warm hand landed on her shoulder. Even through the blanket she could feel the warmth, and her heart began to beat fast. She couldn't let him see her like this; she could hardly face him at all.
"Keiko, I know your awake," he shook her slightly, and she slowly turned over onto her back to look up at him.
"What?" she asked as she looked up into Goku's face, the tears having been wiped from her eyes.
"I want to show you something," he smiled.
"Okay," she said, not understanding what he would have to show her.
"You have to get up, c'mon," he said as he stood up from her bed. He had put his gi pants back on and was wearing a black t-shirt, and he already had his shoes on. Keiko got up, and slid off the bed, sneakily wiping away any stray tears, but her face was already dry, but her eyes were burning. She had a hard time finding her shoes in the dark, but once she slipped them on Goku let her outside of the room. He didn't say a word to her, and she didn't ask where they were going. Once they were outside of the hotel though Keiko began wondering what was going on. Did he want to spar? Why were they out here anyway? They began walking away from the hotel, and finally Keiko couldn't hold it in anymore, she wanted to know what was going on.
"Goku what are we-"
"Nimbus!" Goku yelled, cutting Keiko off. Keiko was still confused as Nimbus flew out of the sky and stopped right next to Goku who hopped on and then looked at Keiko, "Get on."
"I don't know if I can Goku," she said, feeling that the sadness she felt disqualified her from being pure of heart, she figured now she would just fall through the Nimbus and onto the cold, hard ground.
"I'm sure you can," he said and extended his hand to help her up. Keiko sighed before she gently placed her hand into his. She timidly rose onto the Nimbus, prepared to catch herself when she fell through, but surprisingly the Nimbus held her up, "Told you so," Goku smiled, and Keiko just looked down at the ground below them, "Let's go Nimbus," Goku said and in an instant the cloud was carrying them up high into the sky at such a fast speed that Keiko had no choice but to wrap her arms around Goku's waist in order to keep from falling off.
"Okay Nimbus, you can slow down now," Goku said and the Nimbus drastically slowed down until it was simply coasting in the sky.
Keiko lifted her head from where it was buried into Goku's back, and her breath hitched in her throat as she looked around herself. They were flying over the ocean, and from where they were Keiko could see all of Papaya Island. The city lights shone brightly, the moon stood behind them, and she could hear the wave's delicate sound. It was beautiful; it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in her life.
"Keiko, did you hear me?" Goku asked, and she snapped her attention away from the beautiful sight to look over at Goku.
"What?" she asked.
"Are you happy now?" he asked and Keiko couldn't help the small laugh that came out of her mouth, "What's so funny?"
"Nothing, it's just," Keiko had to stop for a moment as she felt the tears beginning to well in her eyes again, "It's beautiful," she said as she looked out towards Papaya Island.
"So that means you're happy?" Goku asked, not being able to take his eyes off of Keiko. He hated seeing her like this; it was an emotion he didn't even know she possessed. She had always been happy, cheerful; she would light up a room when she entered it. She was like the sun, radiant in every sense of the word. She was not this, she was not a sad person, a frown didn't seem to fit her face.
"What made you think I was sad?" She questioned, and she knew that it was obvious that she wasn't okay. There were a million reasons he could probably tell her about why he thought she was sad, but none of them would be right, and she didn't truly want to talk about it. She didn't even look at Goku as she spoke, but soon her head snapped to face him. His warm hand was resting on her cheek, his fingertips tracing the spot where tears had fallen just earlier.
"People don't cry unless they are sad Keiko," he smiled, and a small smile graced Keiko's face, and Goku saw the girl he had come to known peek out of the darkness, if only for a second.
"Sometimes people cry when they are happy," she shrugged, and Goku took his hand away from her face, and suddenly Keiko became cold again.
"Can't you just tell me what's wrong," Goku asked, desperate to figure out what was wrong with his friend. He couldn't stand to see her like this, it wasn't normal at all.
Keiko looked out towards the city again, wondering what she should tell him. She could just tell him 'nothing', even though he would know that would be a lie, or she could tell him what she was thinking. Oh Goku. You're what's wrong. Or me, maybe I'm the wrong one here. But you have no idea, and I can't tell you, I can't. If you only knew, if you only knew that I, that I loved you.
"Keiko? You're crying again."
Keiko let out a laugh before she lay back on the Nimbus, her legs swinging over the edge as she gazed up at the stars. Millions of stars stared back at her with knowing gazes, they knew her secret, but tonight they weren't judging her. One day they would though, one day it would not be okay anymore. Soon even the stars would think she was crazy, but tonight they felt her pain. She almost couldn't help but smile as she stared up at the twinkling lights. She never imagined that she would be here, in this position, feeling the way she does. It was almost like a dream, and she could only hope that it would all fade away, yet in the back of her mind she knew it wouldn't.
"Please tell me Keiko," Goku begged as he looked down at her, and soon her blue eyes met his, and he wasn't sure why but she shakily raised her hand and placed it on his cheek.
"I can't," she whispered as the tears continued to stream down her face. Her throat was burning, and her whole body ached. She gently cupped his face, wishing so badly that things could be different, but they wouldn't be, and with that thought she brought her hand back down to her body, "Goku? Let's talk about something else," she suggested, and Goku just nodded his head before lying back next to Keiko.
There they lay, both of their legs dangling over the edge of the Nimbus; they were floating over the world, over all the problems that would assault them tomorrow. Up here they were invincible, untouchable, and they both knew that. They stayed silent for quite a while, the ocean was the only sound that they could hear, but it was nice to simply be in silence. After a while Keiko began pointing out images in the stars, and they began competing for who could find the best pictures.
Both were laughing, smiling, and from afar it would seem as if nothing had ever happened. Keiko felt light as air, as if it wasn't the cloud holding her up, but she was simply floating. The pain began going away, but she knew it would be waiting for her when they landed, but until then she embraced the happiness that Goku brought to her life. Then they just began talking, about everything and anything. It didn't matter how silly the topic was, the words flowed, and as Goku looked over at the girl next to him, it was like seeing the sun come out from behind the clouds again. Her face glowed as she laughed, her blue eyes sparkling even in the darkness, and once again she was the girl he knew, the girl who he hated to see sad. He didn't know why he didn't like seeing her so sad, but he knew he would do whatever it took to make sure she didn't go back to that.
"I don't want to go back down there," Keiko stated as she looked over at Goku, only to find that he was already looking at her, "Maybe we don't have to," she mused as a smile found its way onto Goku's face.
"I think people would be pretty sad if you never went back," Goku joked, causing Keiko to let out a laugh.
"Just think about it okay," Keiko said as she looked back up at the stars, "We could go wherever we wanted, never having to stop or get off of the cloud. We could travel the world, see everything that there is to see."
"That does sound nice," Goku let his eyes wander away from Keiko as he looked back up at the stars, a yawn coming from his mouth.
"Too bad we can't," Keiko mumbled as she looked over at Goku, his attention still placed on the stars.
"Do you want to go back now?" Goku asked, still looking up into the sky.
"No," Keiko sat up, taking one last look at the beautiful city lights, "But we have to," the sadness began permeating her voice again, the burning beginning to set into her throat. She wanted to cry, but she wasn't about to let herself.
Goku sat up, not saying anything except telling Nimbus to head back down to the hotel. Keiko's arms wrapped around Goku's waist, her head resting on his back as she watched the scenery pass by them. As they were flying back, she wondered if she was doing something wrong. Now Goku had someone, and she wondered how Chi-Chi would feel if she knew about this. Nothing happened. She thought, and it was true, but it wasn't what happened, it was how Keiko felt about what had happened. She figured she would probably talk to Bulma about this tomorrow, and get advice from her on whether what happened was okay or not. Even if it's not, how much should I care? Before she knew it, they were back at the hotel, and she had no desire to get off of the Nimbus.
"Need help?" Goku asked after he had jumped off. Keiko sat with her feet hanging off, so close to the ground, yet she knew that once she was off of Nimbus everything would come back, and she wasn't sure if she was ready for that.
Ready or not. With a small push off of the cloud her feet landed softly on the grass, and she could let out the breath she had been holding in. The Nimbus flew off, and then it was just her and Goku- who was already walking back into the hotel.
"Goku!" she called out, stopping Goku in his tracks. He turned around to see her, and with a huge smile on her face she took off in a full sprint until she collided with Goku. Her arms wrapped around his neck, her feet not touching the ground, and all she could hear was Goku's laughter as his arms wrapped around her waist, "Thank you," she said as Goku gently set her down, her arms lingering around his neck for a moment before coming down to her side.
"You're welcome," he laughed, "Man Keiko you got quite the grip," he rubbed his neck, a grin adorning his face.
"And don't forget it," she laughed as she punched Goku in the shoulder.
"Ow," he whined as he touched his shoulder, even though it didn't hurt him at all.
"Don't be a baby," she laughed, punching him in the other shoulder. It only took a second before Goku has swept her up off of her feet and had her slung over his shoulder, "Put me down," she screamed as Goku flipped her over his shoulder, causing her to land on her butt in front of him.
"No fair," she pouted as she held out her hand for him to help her up.
His hand found hers and with no effort he pulled her up to her feet, "You punched me twice, I think it was fair."
"Whatever," she snickered, the smile never leaving her face. Soon it became quiet again, as both of them awkwardly stood outside.
"Do you feel better?" Goku finally asked.
"Now I do, thank you Goku, I really appreciate it," Keiko could feel the tears beginning to reappear, but she managed to keep them in her eyes.
"Anytime," Goku nodded, and with that both of them made their way back up to the room. Krillin was still fast asleep, not knowing that they had been gone. Both went to bed right away, knowing that they would have to get up soon. The bed felt warmer than it did when Keiko left, and although her heart still hurt, for the moment she was filled with joy. She had memories from tonight, lying under the stars, looking out to all the city lights. It had been beautiful, but she knew that it would not keep the tears away forever, but for now it would suffice.
The morning came much too fast, and Keiko's eyes felt heavy as she woke up. It took all of her effort to push herself out of bed, grab her bag, and head over to Bulma's room. She didn't even say a word to Bulma once she was in the room, instead she just went straight to the bathroom and got in the shower. She felt much better this morning, her eyes were dry and she didn't feel the need to cry- probably because she had already cried out all of her tears. There was a dull ache in her chest, but she had it in her mind that today would be a better day than yesterday.
"So…" Bulma started after Keiko walked out of the bathroom dressed in jean shorts and a yellow t-shirt, "How are you doing?"
"Good," Keiko shrugged as she dug through her bags to find her sandals.
"And by good you mean…?"
"Well, okay I have to tell you something, and I need your advice," Keiko stood up, sandals in hand as she looked over at Bulma.
"Go ahead."
Keiko let out a sigh before sitting down on Bulma's bed; taking her time putting her sandals on before she spoke. "Goku and I hung out last night," she started, knowing that that wasn't enough information for Bulma.
"You guys are in the same room, so I would expect you would hang out," Bulma crossed her arms over her body, becoming impatient.
"I was falling asleep, and Goku woke me up saying he had to show me something. Long story short, we rode on the Nimbus out of the city and over the ocean and we just…talked. He was trying to make me feel better, because he said I looked sad," Keiko said, leaving out details, but she figured Bulma only needed the necessary information.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"Because of Chi-Chi huh?"
"No, because of you."
Keiko wasn't expecting to hear that, in fact she was shocked to hear what came out of Bulma's mouth. She expected for Bulma to say that Chi-Chi probably wouldn't like it, that Keiko had to realize that Goku was no longer the same guy she liked a couple of days ago. His personality was the same, the way he looked, dressed, but there was a distinct difference- he was engaged now. She figured Bulma's words would hurt, but make sense, and in the end she would come to agree with the advice she got.
"What?" Keiko asked, her eyebrows rising.
"Are you sure you want to do that to yourself? If you aren't going to tell him how you feel, do you want to put yourself through that?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean," Bulma waved her arms out in the air before moving to stand right in front of Keiko, "The more time you spend with Goku, the more you like him, and you're going to become attached, but you can't become attached. So you're going to end up spending so much time trying to win the affection of someone you can't have. You're just going to get hurt."
Keiko took a moment to think about it, but soon a smile formed on her face, "I don't think I care," she shrugged and Bulma's jaw dropped.
"Excuse me, but can I talk to Keiko for a moment, I know she must be in there."
"It's worth it," Keiko shrugged again.
"It's not going to end well," Bulma warned, and Keiko knew that she was probably right.
"I can't get out now Bulma, I'm hooked," Keiko laughed, "And I'd rather be around Goku and get hurt, than never be around him at all. I can't give him up just yet."
"Do you think you ever will be able to?"
"I don't know if I will ever want to."
"Well," Bulma sighed, walking over and sitting next to Keiko, "I think you're crazy."
"I know."
"And I don't think any guy is worth what you are going to be putting yourself through."
"I know."
"But I support you, and I will always be here for you if you need anything."
Keiko couldn't help but smile and give Bulma a hug, "Thank you Bulma."
"Yeah yeah yeah," Bulma mumbled as she returned Keiko's hug, "But I honestly think you are crazy," she said as they separated.
"Probably," Keiko laughed and with that they both stood up to go meet everyone outside.
Author's Note: First off, I have a question to ask everyone: Would you like it if I spent another chapter on the Tournament? Or just moved on to DBZ? What I mean by that, is should I dedicate a chapter to the end of the Tournament, or should I move on to where DBZ started (with the arrival of the Saiyans)? If I moved on to the arrival of the Saiyans I would do a summary of how the Tournament ended and what went on, but it would not be a whole chapter. So please let me know, or else I will just decide on my own, but if you all have preferences, please leave a review.
Okay, so now I can say- Thank you all so much. Now the reviews have a higher number than the chapters! :) It means a lot to me, and I know the last chapter was sad, and this one was also kind of sad, but I hope you all liked it and that it lifted everyone's spirits yet again. So please let me know what you would like me to do for the next chapter, or just leave a review, or just enjoy the story, anyway- thank you all.
Another side note- in case anyone wanted to know, or is interested, there are some songs that I listen to to get in a writing mood for this story, or that are almost like 'theme songs'. One is called You are Goodbye by Holly Conlan. I can't figure out how to post links here but if you want to look it up on Youtube, I would encourage you all to listen to it, because not only does it go along with the story in some ways but it is a great song. (man this author's note ended up being long...whoops) :)