A/N: First, i'm SO SORRY that this has taken a YEAR to update. A lot of things have happened since my last update and i've been in a writing funk. This chapter isn't what i had hoped, but it got the ball rolling for me, and hopefully you'll see another chapter soon. I hope there are people still out there reading thing, i'll definitely finish the story, even if i disappear for months at a time. Thanks again for sticking with it!

Disclaimer: i don't own any of this.

Chapter 10:

I watched as the digital clock on my night stand went from 5:59 am to 6:00am, before it had a chance to blare into life with some annoying alarm noise I switched it off. I just couldn't sleep comfortably last night, I was tossing and turning the whole night. I found myself awake at 5:00am and unable to fall back to sleep. Reito had left early that morning, he said that he had tons of work to finish before their important meeting tonight. Tonight. The thought woke the butterflies up in my stomach and I felt them flutter around. Tonight, I had a date with Natsuki. A tingling sensation runs down my spine at the thought. I get up and head to the bathroom, I wasn't going to see her until 6pm tonight, there was no reason to dawdle around all day waiting.

The incredibly loud and annoying sound of my alarm woke me abruptly. I flailed my arms and found myself tumbling out of bed. The sheets were once again tangled around my legs. I always wake up like this, flustered and tangled in sheets. I grumble as I try to untangle myself from my sheets, then it hits me, a delicious smell that makes my mouth water. I completely zone out enjoying the smell when my bedroom door swings open. My eyes take a moment to focus in the now bright room, as the person in the door way comes into focus I smile broadly,

"Hi Mai." She looks at me on the ground and smiles at me fondly,

"Good morning Natsuki! I came over early today because I thought you should start this very important day with a very delicious breakfast." I look at her slightly puzzled, what was important about today?

"Huh?" She rolls her eyes at me as she places a hand on her hip,

"Today, Natsuki, is your date with Shizuru!" I blink at her.

"…"

"Natsuki! Don't tell me you forgot!"

"…"

"You did! You weren't even drunk last night! How did you forget! It's like your brain resets when you go to sleep!"

"Ohmygosh! You're right! I did agree to go somewhere with her today didn't I?" I stand up quickly from the floor only to fall back down into the heap of sheets because I was still tangled. I hear Mai fight back a giggle. "Mai! Don't just stand there! Help me get up! What am I going to wear?"

"Natsuki calm down! Lets just have breakfast and we can talk about it calmly."

"Ok." Mai extends her hand to me and I grab it accepting the help. We sit at the table and I immediately begin to drool. There's bacon, eggs, sausage, and my all time favorite, toast with mayo spread on it. "Mai, I could marry you! This looks delicious"

"Thank you Natsuki! Though I must admit, I had a hard time understanding why you would want me to spread just mayo on toast."

"Becuffs ish delifshious!" I say between mouthfuls of toast. I see her cringe a bit and I smile to myself, Mai really is a good friend.

"Ok Natsuki, so where are you guys going tonight?"

"…" I stop mid chew and blink at her.

"You don't know where you're going!" I swallow the piece of toast in my mouth,

"Well, no, Reito just asked me to escort her, he never told me where we were going. He said Shizuru would give me details later."

"Oh, well I suppose it's just going to be some sort of art show, or maybe an opera, or a musical…Natsuki are you ok?" I had blanched at the thought of going to any of those things. I wouldn't know what anyone was talking about at the art show, well I'd be able to talk about the details of a photo or something like that, but nothing deep like, what the artist was trying to convey through the artwork! Oh and the opera, or a musical? I'd be a lost cause, I know those things are supposed to be meaningful and whatnot, but I just can't keep my eyes open during those things, maybe it's the darkness. Whatever the case is, I don't want to look stupid in front of Shizuru! I know we're just friends, or at least we're supposed to be, but I don't want to look like a complete idiot in front of her, I still care about what she thinks of me.

"Mai, what am I going to do? I hate all those things."

"Natsuki, relax, I don't think she'll think any less of you, I'm telling you I think she's smitten with you."

"Don't you start with that again Mai."

"But Natsuki, it's true, she likes you, I can see it in the way she behaves with you, and the look she gives you when she thinks no one is looking. Anyway, lets finish up and check out your closet for any appropriate clothing for something fancy. Hey why don't you call Shizuru and find out where you're going?"

I had stopped listening to Mai, the only thing going through my mind was, 'she gives me a look?'

I had a simple breakfast, when Reito isn't around I don't bother cooking anything fancy; I had two pieces of toast with jam, and a cup of tea. I was washing the dishes and just staring out the window into my garden when the vibrating in my back pocket startled me. I dry my hands on the front of my pants before pulling the device from my back pocket. I stare at the display slightly confused, but still rather pleased. Ara, how did she get my cell phone number? "Hello?"

"Hi, uh, Shizuru, it's me, uh, Natsuki." She sounds so cute stammering around like that.

"Ara, Hello Na-tsu-ki. How did you get my mobile number?"

"Oh, um, hmm, well, I, didn't, well, Chie gave it to me the last time we were all hanging out!" she finishes her sentence with a shout.

"Natsuki doesn't have to shout, I'm right here on the other end of the phone."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!" Before I can say anything else I hear the noise on my mobile that signals that the call has been ended. That's strange, why did she hang up on me? I hit redial and wait until the line is picked up,

"Hello?" A different voice answers the phone. That's not my Natsuki.

"Ara, who is this?" Who would answer Natsuki's phone? And is this person the reason Natsuki hung up?

"Ok, well YOU called HERE, so who are YOU?"

"I'm merely calling back a friend who hung up on my suddenly, I'm just concerned."

"Ok, well, can I get your name?"

"Certainly, this is Shizuru,"

"Oh! Shizuru! I apologize I thought you were one of the crazy girls that stalk Natsuki! I'm sorry for giving you such a hard time, but those girls are always falling head over heels for Natsuki, and somehow they get her mobile and call her endlessly. Then, there was the fact that Natsuki hung up so quickly with you, that I thought that for sure it was one of her stalkers, I'm sorry let me go and get Natsuki for you." I hear the noise of moving around and what sounds like fabric is being rustled about. "Sorry it's taking so long Shizuru, I'm just trying to find my pants, I can't go parading around in my underwear. Natsuki! Shizuru is on the phone for you!" At that statement I feel my blood run cold. What is Mai doing in Natsuki's home with no pants on? What was all that talk about girls stalking Natsuki? Does she sleep with any of them? And most importantly, WHY DOESN'T MAI HAVE ANY PANTS ON!

I was in the middle of talking to Shizuru, and not doing a very good job of it, when Mai grabs the phone from me and hits the end call button. I stare at her in shock,

"Mai, what the hell?"

"Natsuki, it's for your own good, you were stuttering and sounding really stupid."

"Mai!"

"I'm sorry Natsuki, but I'm just telling you how it is. It's what friends are supposed to do. I had to hang up on Shizuru so that you wouldn't make an even bigger fool of yourself over the phone." I just stare at her speechless, did I really sound all that bad? "Besides Natsuki, Shizuru is sure to call back in 3…2…1…" to my surprise my phone actually starts to ring in Mai's hand. I reach out to grab it only to have Mai pull away. "Please, let me handle this." I watch as she picks up the phone. I can only stare on in horror as Mai begins to tell Shizuru about my stalkers, I feel my face flush red, I know Shizuru isn't here, but having Mai tell her about my "admirers" still seems to embarrass me. Then out of nowhere, Mai tells Shizuru that she has no pants on, my jaw literally hits the floor. At this point I lunge at Mai trying to take the phone away and listen helplessly as she pretends to be calling for me, "…Natsuki! Shizuru is on the phone for you!" I finally wrestle the phone out of Mai's hand, I'm slightly out of breath from the exertion,

"H-h-hello?" I pant into the phone.

"Ara, Natsuki, did I interrupt something?" Shizuru's voice sounds weird, upset maybe? The last time I heard her sound like that it was that morning she left my apartment in a rush. I wonder what made her so angry?

"Hi, sorry Shizuru about hanging up on you, I have bad, um, reception in my apartment so my calls get dropped often." I lie and instantly feel bad about lying to Shizuru.

"That's alright Natsuki I understand. Anyway it seems that you and Mai are busy, I just wanted to call back to find out why you called me initially?"

"Oh, I was just wondering how am I supposed to dress tonight? And what time and where should we meet?"

"Anything should be fine Natsuki, it's nothing formal, and please meet me at my home at around 5pm, do you remember how to get here?"

"Yes of course, ok I'll see you then, Bye."

"Goodbye Natsuki." I hit the end call button and glare over at Mai.

"What?" She looks at me innocently.

"You know what Mai! What was that all about?"

"Well, I was testing the waters, I wanted to see if she would be jealous of me or your stalkers." I roll my eyes at her.

"Hey it worked didn't it? I heard her over the phone, she sounded a little angry. I'm telling you Natsuki, that woman likes you."

"Mai, it just doesn't matter, she's married, and I'm ok with that, I'd much rather have her as my friend than as nothing at all. I just, I feel so complete when she's around me." Mai looks at me sadly, "What? Don't look at me like that, don't pity me."

"I'm not Natsuki, I'm not pitying you, I just, I wish you could be with her." I smile at her appreciatively, "Now, Natsuki, what did she say you were going to be doing tonight?"

"…"

"What? After all that you forgot to ask where you were going!"

"Well, I asked what I should wear."

"That's a start, what did she say?"

"She said anything should be fine, it's nothing formal."

"Ok, well I guess that means you can wear jeans, but I still want you to look hot, so we're going to go shopping for new jeans!"

"What's wrong with the jeans I have in my closet?"

"They're all too baggy, or faded!"

"They're comfortable!"

"Natsuki, just trust me!"

"Fine!" I relent and whimper as she drags me out of the apartment.

After I hung up with Natsuki I went about my daily house chores, dusting, cleaning, and straightening up. Although I went through all the motions my mind was else where. I just couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Mai had been with Natsuki, with her pants off, and the things Mai had said about all those girls, it just had my stomach in a knot. I try for the hundredth times to shake my head of thoughts of Natsuki, but I just can't. I know it is unfair for me to even be remotely jealous of Mai, mainly because I am happily married, but I just can't help it, I want Natsuki to have eyes only for me. I want to be the one who holds her under a starry sky watching fireworks. Am I happily married? Yes, I would say so, I loved Reito when we were wed, LOVE, I LOVE REITO, not past tense. Maybe tonight would not be such a good idea. Talking about this to myself isn't helping at all, maybe I should call one of my friends for advice, Haruka maybe? No, she would yell the entire time. What about Yukino then? No, she's too timid and I only just met her. That leaves Chie and Aoi, well, seeing as Chie slipped Natsuki my number, she must have noticed something. I walk over to my house phone and grab it dialing Chie's number by heart. I used to call her so often while I was dating Reito the number is ingrained in my memory. She was always able to help me with issues I had in regards to Reito, so maybe she will be able to help about Natsuki. I listen to the phone ringing in my ears for a moment before,

"Hel…lo?" Chie answers groggily, I look at my clock and see that it's already about 10am,

"Chie, hi it's Shizuru, I'm sorry were you still asleep?"

"Oh, Hi Shizuru, yeah I was actually can I call you in a bit?"

"Yes of course! I just needed to ask you some things about Natsuki."

"Natsuki?" Chie's voice seems to perk up a bit, "What did you need to know about Natsuki? Why do you need to know about Natsuki Shizuru?" Her voice holds a different tone, something akin to smugness, but not quite, and all of a sudden I feel embarrassed about disclosing my feelings and my issues about Natsuki to Chie.

"Oh, well it's alright Chie, I'll call you a little later, please go back to sleep."

"Oh no you don't Shizuru, I'm up now, so spit it out." She definitely sounds completely awake now. I hear moving and whispering in the background and can only assume that it's Aoi.

"Well, Natsuki and I are going out tonight…"

"Out?"

"Uh, yes, Reito and I were supposed to go to a soccer game together tonight, but some work thing came up and he asked Natsuki to escort me instead."

"HE asked Natsuki?"

"Yes, why is that a problem?"

"Well I mean that's awfully trusting of him, seeing as you have a major crush on Natsuki!"

"…" My mouth drops open and I am speechless. Was it that obvious that Chie knew even though I had never disclosed any feelings about Natsuki?

"Hello? Shizuru? Are you still there?" My brain registers that Chie is speaking to me and I quickly compose myself.

"Yes, sorry Chie, I became momentarily distracted, what were you saying?"

"I said that Reito is being very trusting by allowing your crush to escort you to the soccer game tonight!"

"Ah, yes, about that, how, no, why is it that you say I have a crush on Natsuki?"

"Well it's obvious Shizuru, I saw it all over your face at the wedding, and at the club I was half expecting to see you making out with her on the dance floor, but that foxy red head Nao beat you to it! OUCH! What was that for?" I hear a sharp slap and I can only assume Aoi had slapped Chie on the back of the head for the fox red head comment.

"Am I that obvious Chie? Do you think anyone else knows?" I begin to panic, as much as I feel infatuated with Natsuki I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to say I'm NOT in love with Reito.

"Relax Shizuru, I don't think Reito has noticed, I think it's just me and Aoi, and probably Haruka, and possibly Natsuki's friend Mai, she was watching you guys like a hawk that night we went out.

"Oh." I'm at a loss for words, if Mai knew I had a crush on Natsuki, why would she tell me all those things on the phone earlier? Unless she's jealous of me? Or trying to make me jealous? I feel completely overwhelmed, I never had to experience this anxiety that comes with having a crush on someone before. All my life I found that if I were interested in someone, more often than not, they were interested in me, so I never had to worry if my feelings would be reciprocated, but with Natsuki, everything is so unsure, so new.

"Now Shizuru, tell me, why did you call?"

"Well, it was to ask you advice about my feelings for Natsuki…" before I can finish my thought Chie shouts into the phone,

"I KNEW IT! PAY UP AOI! SHIZURU JUST ADMITTED TO HAVING FEELINGS FOR NATUSKI!" I hear grumbling on the other side before Chie returns to our conversation, "Sorry about that Shizuru, it's just that Aoi and I had made a wager about you and your feelings. Aoi thought for sure that you would not admit your feelings for Natsuki, since you're such a nice person and all, you'd never want to hurt Reito."

"That's just it Chie, I DON'T want to hurt Reito, but these feelings I've been experiencing for Natsuki are just so intense."

"Ah, sorry Shizuru, we don't mean to make light of your issue, please go on."

"It's no problem at all Chie. But I don't know what to do with how I'm feeling. It's like I have no control over my emotions, I get jealous over things I have no right to be jealous of. For example, this morning Natsuki called me on my mobile, but hung up suddenly, when I called back Mai answered, she told me about Natsuki having stalkers, and about how she herself was only wearing her underwear in Natsuki's apartment. My blood was boiling inside of my veins!"

"I see, I would have thought it would have been Nao in her underwear in Natsuki's bed, but I digress, it seems, Shizuru that you're conflicted over how you feel."

"Well yes, Chie I know I'm CONFLICTED. I just don't know what to do about it. I love Reito. He's my best friend…"

"He IS your best friend Shizuru, but is he MORE than that? Do you feel butterflies in your stomach when you receive a text from him? Does your heart flutter when his caller I.D pops up on your cell phone as he is calling you? When he hugs you do you feel like you fit perfectly in his arms?

"Well, I did, I mean I must have right? I married him after all."

"I can't tell you if you did or not Shizuru, did you marry him because you were head over heels in love with him? Or did you marry him because he asked, and you loved him to the point of wanting to make him happy, putting aside the fact that you were just settling into something that seemed to be the norm?"

"Sorry Chie, what? You lost me there.."

"What I mean Shizuru, is, did you marry Reito because you felt like you SHOULD, or did you marry him because you were insanely in love with him?"

"Well…" As I think over my response, I hear a beep, signaling a text, I take the phone away from my ear and look down at my screen, my heart does a somersault in my chest as I see Natsuki's name pop up. I press the button to read her text, I can hear Chie talking on the phone still but I'm so excited about the text from Natsuki I cant bring myself to care that Chie is still speaking. I open the text and begin to read 'Shizuru, sorry about the phone call earlier, Mai was just joking around, don't take anything she says seriously. I am excited about seeing you tonight, I'll be at your house at 5pm on the dot! Have a good day until then Shizuru!' I sigh and re-read the text 3 more times, she said not to worry about Mai, it must of just been a joke. She's so sweet, and caring, to think she sent me that text because she probably heard the anger in my voice, oh My Natsuki how I love you, wait…what? I hear Chie shouting my name over the phone

"SHIZURU!"

"Yes, yes, sorry Chie I'm here, I just received a text from Natsuki, and my heart fluttered like crazy."

"Oh, Shizuru…"

"I think I might be in love with her Chie. But what do I do? I know I love Reito, and I've been Reito for a long time, what if what I feel for Natsuki isn't love? What if it's just infatuation? And worse yet, what if she doesn't feel anything for me?"

"I don't know Shizuru, I think maybe you have to make a choice, you need to either tell Natsuki how you feel and tell Reito how you feel, or tell Natsuki that you can't even be friends anymore because if you choose Reito, it would be unfair to have Natsuki around to see you and Reito together."

"But I would rather have Natsuki as a friend than nothing at all,"

"But is that fair to her? Is that fair to you? What if Shizuru you choose friendship with Natsuki, will you be able to stand the sight of her with someone else? Is that fair to Reito? Yes you chose him, but would your heart be 100% his while Natsuki was still around in your life?"

"No, I suppose not, but if I were to choose Natsuki, how would I be able to break Reito's heart and still be ok with who I am?"

"Shizuru, this is something you have to come to terms with, this is a choice that will shape the rest of your life, and unfortunately, you have to make it."

"I wish I could have waited till after tonight to realize all this, how will I be able to behave normally when I see Natsuki tonight?"

"Maybe you can tell her tonight, maybe you can make a decision Shizuru."

"I don't think I can Chie. Well Chie, thanks for your time, but I should let you go, I still have much to do before tonight."

"No problem Shizuru, good luck, and Aoi and I are always here for you if you need us ok?"

"Ok Chie I appreciate that." I hang up the phone and re-read Natsuki's text again, and again I feel my heart flutter, what am I supposed to do? I guess first things first, I begin to compose a reply to Natsuki's text.

"I think it was good you sent that text Natsuki, it let's her know that you know that she was angry over the phone, it'll make her think."

"Mai, what exactly does that mean? I only sent it because I didn't want tonight to be awkward." I grumble as I pull on yet ANOTHER pair of jeans.

"Well, it'll make her think, 'oh Natsuki is so thoughtful I love her!" I roll my eyes at Mai's imitation of Shizuru.

"I hardly think that's the case Mai, how do these look?" Mai twirls her finger at my indicating that I should spin around so she can see the jeans.

"I like them! They're perfect! They definitely accentuate your butt." I feel my face flush at Mai's comments.

"MAI!" she bursts into fits of giggles,

"I'm sorry Natsuki but it does! I don't know why you get so embarrassed! Now, ONTO SHIRTS!" I groan as she throws a stack of tops at me. Just as I'm about to try on some shirts I feel hear my phone go off, I feel myself smiling stupidly as I see Shizuru's name pop up on my screen.

"She responded Mai!"

"Well, don't just stand there! Tell me what it says!" I hit the read button and start to read the text out loud for Mai,

"Ok, ok! 'Natsuki, thank you for the text, though it was unnecessary! What you do is none of my business! You don't have to explain anything to me, as your friend I will accept any decisions that you make, I too am excited about tonight and look forward to spending some quality alone time with you.' I'm so confused Mai!" I frown as I think over her text, she starts by telling me she doesn't care what I do, but ends by telling me she wants to spend alone time with me!

"Oh Natsuki, I think she's confused too. I think she wants you as a friend, but I think she also wants you as more, but seeing as she is married I think she feels an obligation to Reito, I'm sorry Natsuki, she seems really confused. I know I've been pushing you to get closer to her, but it's only because I see how happy you get when you're around her, or when you talk about her. I haven't really thought about what would happen if things didn't work out for the two of you."

"Mai, it's ok, I know you're only doing what you think will make me happy."

"Yes, I am Natsuki, but I should also help protect you from potential hurt, so, as your friend, I'm going to advise that we abandon my previous plan of making you attractive to her, and instead, maybe you should try your hardest to just be her friend."

"Ok, Mai, but uh, what about all these clothes?" I look around at the mess of tops I hadn't even touched.

"Well, hmm," Mai reaches into the pile and pulls a black spaghetti strap top out, "here, this is perfect, it's casual, and sexy, and it says 'you can look Shizuru, but we're just friends, so no touching' see? It's perfect!" I start to laugh and I pull Mai into a hug.

"Oh Mai, what would I do without you?" as Mai and I laugh I can't help the feeling of despair in my chest, I know I had decided to be just Shizuru's friend, but I couldn't help feeling slightly optimistic when Mai had told me she thought Shizuru was interested in me. But she's right, even if she is interested, the best course of action for everyone would be for us to just be friends.