There she was.

I knew it the instant I saw her in the locker room doorway. Standing there in her white glowing dress, and her long black hair flowing down, I knew it was her. She was the demon that had been haunting my dreams.

I remember a shiver went through me, seemingly freezing my whole body. My eyes were wide with fear. She laughed, just as she always did when she saw my fright, and ran from the room. It took me several moments to recover fully.

That fear though…it never left me. The sirens that rang in my ears only drew me ever closer and out of the locker room. I was vaguely aware of pulling Zim along with me, but I didn't care. I only wanted to find that girl. I wanted to find her and shake her and make her tell me what's been happening to me. I was so frantic and panicky I didn't stop running until I came across a fork in the hallway.

There wasn't very much time and I could feel it. That girl was wandering around HQ menacingly, ready to destroy everything, and now I had no idea which way she had gone.

I didn't want to send Zim off by himself, especially weaponless. I gave him one of my guns, praying he would remember how to use it and sent him off to the left. He protested, but I just shouted for him to go on without me as I ran down the right corridor.

I was just hoping I was running in the right direction.

For some odd reason, every lantern had been put out in this hall, but it didn't matter because I knew the entire building like the back of my hand. I was unsure of whether I was running away from something or running to it. All I knew was that I had to find that little girl.

There was a bright ominous light at the end of this dark hall, a light that shone much brighter than any lantern we could ever light. I ran faster at this sight, hoping that maybe…maybe she was there…

…And she was. She turned around slowly and I felt my fear escalate. Despite her bright glow, her eyes were shadowed and I couldn't help but wonder if she had any at all. She was smiling sickeningly though.

" WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO ME?" I shouted desperately at her, " I KNOW THAT YOU'RE THE ONE DOING THIS! YOU'RE THE ONE DRIVING ME ABSOLUTELY INSANE, NOW TELL ME! TELL ME!"

The little girl only laughed harder. It was a laugh that I remember haunting my dreams nightly. It was a somehow eerie laughter that pierced the air around us and sent chills down my spine. It only made me even more nervous.

" TELL ME!" I demanded, with a shaky tone to my voice that I couldn't remove.

I grabbed her shoulders, partly to prove that I wasn't seeing things and shook her hard. She just continued to laugh and laugh.

" Silly boy…" She spoke softly for the first time, " …You have no idea what you want."

Then, with a shine of light, she disappeared. I don't know how long I remained there in the quiet darkness, still in shock. She…She couldn't have been a ghost, since I was able to touch her…but then…what was she?

Suddenly, I realized just how much danger I was potentially in.

I bolted from that spot in the other direction. I had no idea where I was going or what it was I was running from, but I knew I needed to get out. Explosions, or what were nearly loud enough to be explosions rang through the entire building, threatening to knock it to the ground. This of course, only made me run faster.

I nearly collapsed once I'd reached the former gymnasium. It was much darker and rain flooded in from the giant hole in the roof (a continuous problem). My "explosions" streaked the sky's dark clouds with flashes of light. I couldn't help but stare in wonder. Thunderstorms were rare. There hadn't been one since at least the previous year.

I stumbled over into the rain when someone shoved me hard in the back. Turning and squinting through the rain, I knew I had finally lost it. A familiar purple haired girl was standing before me with her skull pendant, glaring angrily. I had to be loosing it. There was no way this was real.

" …G…Gaz?" I managed to choke out through the heavy rain.

I stood up to try and get a better look at my long lost sister, but she just stepped forward and shoved me to the ground again. Her eyes were hidden in menacing shadows, so I couldn't read what little emotion she held. I felt terrified.

" …Gaz?" I repeated.

She had received red highlights and her clothes were darkly stained. Step by step she moved towards me and with each step I scuttled back like a crab. Each finger she held out to me was dripping in her blood.

This had to be a dream. It had to be a nightmare. When I awoke, I'd be laying on my mattress breathing heavily and vowing not to sleep another day. This couldn't be real. Gaz was…Gaz was dead. Gaz had been dead five years now. There was no way…

I watched as the red blood that coated her dripped onto the floor in soft beats. She continued to step foreword and I edged away, eventually tripping over rubble to do so. The pouring misery matted our hair down, but wouldn't wash the blood way.

I made a turn in my crawling to head for the bleachers. Somehow, Gaz seemed to appear right in my path to knock me over once again.

" You…" she hissed, inching ever closer.

My eyes were wide in an intense sort of fear I'd never felt before. I scrambled back and upright, trying not to stare directly at my sister as I stood. My feet seemed to carry me all on their own as I found myself racing for the tall bleachers. I could hear Gaz's heavy footfalls right behind me. Suddenly, I felt a hand latch onto my shoulder and spin me around, just as I was about to scale the bleachers.

It wasn't Gaz though. It was a much taller and if possible, more fearsome creature than that. My father was looming before me, with a firm grasp on my shoulders. He looked ready to eat me alive.

A wave of emotions flooded my body. Confusion…fear…hatred…love…they were all there. I laid still and stiff in his grasp, as he inched his bloody head down toward mine. The red and white fabric of his lab coat fluttered in the stormy breeze as the rain matted down his hair. I watched in fear as blood dripped down from his wounds onto my clothes.

In a sudden burst of courage, or maybe it was cowardice, I squirmed out of his hands and bolted up the bleachers. I ran up two at a time, desperate to escape my father's rage. Up, down, diagonal, it didn't matter which way I went as long as I could get away. Holding my breath, I dared one glance behind me, and one was all I needed.

My father was right on my trail, but he was different somehow. He had seemingly grown mechanical spider legs and he appeared to be shedding almost, as his lab coat and skin were torn away. It was horribly grotesque and I couldn't bear to watch any longer, but I was running out of places to hide.

" You…" He growled inhumanly, like some kind of uncivilized beast.

Finally, I found myself atop the tallest bleacher, which must have been at least fifteen feet off of the ground. I couldn't turn around, I couldn't run back, otherwise I'd see that--I'd see my father again…and I couldn't face him or Gaz or anyone else in that moment. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and I felt just so pathetic and foolish but I couldn't shake them away.

Then…when I finally turned my head…when I finally looked at my father…he wasn't there. What was there…what was there was what finally did me in.

It was Zim. It wasn't the Zim I had created. No, it was the Zim I had grown to mourn daily. The fierce Irken warrior, the threat to humanity, the only thing that had ever truly meant anything to me. It's funny the things you realize in desperate times.

He wasn't blood covered, but somehow that was only more of an indication that he was the Zim I'd killed long ago. His crimson eyes shined with each lightning strike, but oddly enough the rain didn't seem to do anything to him but irritate him further. Was he only a figment of my imagination?

…No. My imagination had never created anything quite as frightening as what was happening to me now.

With each click of his spider legs images flew in my head. Things I'd seen, things I'd never seen, and things I never would. Frightening things, visions of death and everything else I deserved for all of the things I'd done. Memories of things I'd rather not remember and images of things I couldn't remember and quite possibly hadn't said yet.

Revelations and questions all rotated through my mind. Perhaps my father and Gaz were both still alive and I was dead…or maybe this was all a dream and I would wake up bathed in sweat? Or maybe I'd never wake up at all and I would die here… That, just like any other punishment I could ever receive, was much less than I deserved.

I clutched my head and choked on my own breath and tears, trying to erase these horrid thoughts, but they refused to leave. Instead, more floated in. Thoughts full of regret and sorrow and hatred that I realized would never leave me. They are tied in metal chains that bind me and will never release.

No matter what is done…and no matter what is said…nothing can ever redeem me. I can never be vindicated from my horrible deeds. That is my punishment. I am forced to carry this grief and guilt. I cannot complain, because it truly is my own fault.

Zim took this opportunity in my moment of weakness to shove me down as Gaz had done. He used his spider legs to dangle over me menacingly as I could only quiver in fear.

" You." He said as though I was the foulest, most horrid creature on the planet.

…And I was.

I could see everything so clearly…everything I'd ever said and done. Every person I had ever spoken to and every consequence that they or I have had to pay. Everything my arrogance had ever blinded me from. It was all sickeningly clear to me.

It made me wonder if I was about to die.

I quivered and shook almost uncontrollably. I didn't want to die. There were too many things I had to do! There must be some way…some way for me to make things right…RIGHT?

Zim said nothing more to me and simply reached for my neck, wringing his fingers around it. I had never been truly aware of how much it hurt to have your airflow almost completely cut off. My lungs burned and threatened to collapse upon themselves, but still I could not bring myself to complain. There was none of this I did not deserve.

As Zim wrapped another hand around my neck, now completely balanced on his spider legs, he began to squeeze harder and harder, mirroring previous actions of mine. My only coherent thought was God…how did he put up with this for so long?

Somewhere inside me, I already knew the answer. He had nothing left. He had nowhere left to go to. He had nothing except for me, and I made sure of that. I had broken him; I had lifted him into the air and thrown him back down onto the ground so he would shatter into thousands of tiny little pieces.

My thoughts had begun to get very hazy, and I wondered if this was it. If I would die up here by my prisoner's hands. Somehow, the thought that it was Zim killing me slowly…that may have been the thought that hurt the most.

I felt tremors shake through my body as Zim slid me down the bleacher. He was pushing me closer and closer to the edge, to a fifteen-foot demise. His spider legs clicked with each inch and he never released my neck. He didn't speak. I didn't want him to.

Zim's next shove pushed my head almost completely off the bleacher. I tried to lift it to keep myself from losing my balance, but Zim's hands prevented me from doing so. His face met mine in what may have been our final staredown. His eyes were filled with such utter hate, hate for me alone. My eyes were watered and fogging my cracked glasses.

I heard the spider legs move again and I shut my eyes and braced myself for a long fall….but it never came. Instead, I felt the last thing I expected to feel.

I felt his lips on mine, in a slow kiss that probably should have killed me from lack of air. My eyes opened wide in shock and surprise. It was no illusion. Zim…Zim kissed me. It…it felt nice, but I was confused beyond all reason. It was wrong and right and horrible and perfect all at the same time and it confused me greatly. Most other thoughts had vanished from my head though. Nothing but him. Nothing but Zim.

As soon as I began to return the favor though…he pulled away…

" You deserve this." Zim said darkly, " You deserve the pain of being in love without being loved in return. You deserve to love your only hate."

My eyes widened as I realized I had heard that somewhere before, but before I could think of anything, he made one last shove. With that push, there was a bang, a loud familiar bang that rained blue over me as it sent Zim toppling over my head and down to the floor. I was left gasping for air.

I felt like I was falling slowly, as though maybe in a daydream or an oddly calm nightmare. As I started to slip over the edge, the last thing I saw was him.

Zim.

Not the Zim from my nightmares…not the one that was sent to a second death…it was the one I had created. He stood on the top bleacher, wincing from the rain hitting his green skin. With his huge white T-shirt I had given him and his new messy wig, he looked sort of like a madman. Especially with my gun in his hand, still smoking from the fresh shot.

Zim spotted me, slowly losing my war for balance and stared for a moment. I knew I could not ask him for his help. Then…then he adjusted the gun slightly…enough so that it was pointing at me.

" Bang." He said simply.

Then I couldn't see him anymore. I couldn't see anything anymore.

(A/N: Yum. Cliffhanger. Thanks for the reviews! Please R&R and the next chapter will be up soon. : ) )