"Chichi, what's wrong?" I blinked, confused by how my chichi continued to sway, his back to me. After another moment of silence, I become impatient.
Reaching forward, I pull on his jounin vest. "Chichi, what is wrong?" I say loudly, thinking this would shake him out of whatever thoughts he is having, or wake him up.
I sprint backwards as he falls, a 'thump' sounding as his knees hit the floor of our living room. Now, I am confused, but surprisingly unafraid. I make a sound of irritation.
"Fine, you just keep sleeping." I turn to walk away, but was stopped.
"Kana…Kana…ye…" A warning sounds in my head, something is not right about this. Suspiciously, I turn and look to my chichi, and abruptly fall to my own knees, screaming.
When I had been facing him, he had been facing away, but he was facing me now for some reason that I did not bother to figure out; I was too horrified and distressed.
"Chichi, what happened?" Shaking, I stand to my feet and run to his side. In the back of my mind, I know there is nothing I can do, but I am not listening to that part of me; I'm more focused on the part that says that I can still save him, or find someone who can save him. "FATHER!!" I scream, gripping chichi's shoulders and looking frantically around my home.
"Kana…ye"
Where my chichi's heart should have been, a hole had replaced it. Looking through it, I can see the entryway into the greeting room; oddly enough, I do not wonder why I did not see it before.
"Kana…ye"
"Who did this!? Chichi, who do I have to kill!?" I want to shake him again, I want him to stop looking at me with all of that love and acceptance. It makes me feel like I did something wrong, but he's forgiven me. He smiles a little more, blood seeping out of the corner of his mouth as he lays the hand that had not been gripping at his chest on my brow. When he pulls his hand away, it is covered with blood. I flinch, that had not been there a moment ago. I look into his eyes, so terrified, my lungs were choking on it and my eyes were watering. Somewhere, in the distance, something like a demon was cackling; it had to be a demon, because no thing or person could sound so joyful when my chichi was dying.
"You…did…"
I can not think of anything to say to that, shocked beyond words. I want to scream 'I didn't do anything!', but it wouldn't come. I look down, for reasons I do not know, to see something more terrifying than his missing heart: the heart itself was still bleeding into my palm. His one hand gripping at the hole slides to the ground, his chin coming to rest against his chest as he sighs one last breath. And I realize something, I am the one laughing.
"Kanaye! Kanaye! *SLAP*" With one last scream, I shot up from the bed, chest heaving and eyes darting around the room. Standing over me, Minamaru looks at me as if I have lost my mind. "Hey, are you okay, Kanaye-"
I leap off of the bed and run out of my open door, nearly tripping over the carpet in the hall as I torpedo down it to my parent's room. Slamming the door open, I am still quivering, mind mockingly repeating my nightmare. At the bed, father leans up from his slouched position to stare at me. Lying on his naked chest, chichi continues to quietly snore. Watching him, I nearly begin crying, but I don't. I'm Sabaku no Kanaye, a chuunin, I don't cry… much, I concede as I rub furiously at my eyes and then look back at them.
"Hey, Kanaye, what are you doing looking in on mommy and raccoon-daddy?" Minamaru asks from behind me.
"Kanaye, you are not going to kill Lee." Father says in a solemnly irritated voice. There is a long 'oh' as Minamaru understands, but I shake my head.
"How do you know?" I whisper. At first, I move slowly, and then I scurry up onto the bed and tug at the covers so I can see chichi's chest; father, unwillingly, moved somewhat so I could do so. As all of this is happening, chichi continues to sleep like a rock. With his chest bare, I touch my fingertips to the warm skin covering the ribs and muscles that protected that magnificent heart. "I could…one day. What if I do kill him?"
"Oh come on, Kanaye, you'll never hurt mommy." Minamaru jumped onto the bed, ignoring the glare father gave him as he cuddled onto the other side of chichi. "You'd die for him before you'd rip his heart out. I only see raccoon-daddy doing that."
I take a deep breath in, hold it, and then release it shakily. He has a point, even if it is something that none of us talk about out loud. "But I could be different one day… I could hate him enough to kill him." The thought is so chilling, my own heart becomes heavy and cold like ice.
"Kanaye." I look to my father, unsure if I want to hear what he was going to say, but needing to hear it anyway. "I would protect both you and Lee with my life." I already know this, so I show no signs of caring for it. "If it came down to protecting one of you from the other, Lee would come first."
From the other side of chichi, Minamaru sat up suddenly, eyes wide in disbelief. "What?! What's that!? Mommy would definitely want you to protect Kanaye, even against him! He would die if you killed Kanaye."
As much as I know Minamaru is right, I also know what father is talking about. His eyes are serious and cold upon me, as if he expects me to carry out the deed right now to test his words. I stare back, almost entirely calm as the tension leaves my shoulders and the cold sweat covering me evaporates.
"If it came down to it," I countered. "I would kill you, if that was what chichi wanted." And for long seconds, we test each other with how long we don't back down, just staring. After three minutes of Minamaru grumbling under his breath about 'insane sandy men', I witness the microscopic change that occurs in my fathers eyes: pride.
"Good." He leans back against the headboard and I, despite what anyone else would say about me being a 'momma's' boy, crawl between them so that I lie partially on both of them. I may be chuunin, but my father had a saying: 'If you have a chance for affection, take it and ask no questions.'
I throw one arm over chichi's chest and father puts one hand into his hair. On the other side of chichi, Minamaru tangles his fingers with mine and pushes into chichi's side; his face sad as he stroked chichi's hair with his other hand.
"It's okay, mommy…if any of you have a fall-out, I'll find a family councilor. Or a marriage councilor, which ever you need. I won't be killing anyone." He glares at both of us as chichi continues to snore lightly, oblivious to our conversation. "Unlike some people I know…Kanaye…Raccoon-daddy."
"Arune, go to sleep." Father mutters, his eyes already closed and his body becoming lax. I second the motion, and then allow to sleep overcome me again.
If father says he'll protect chichi, even from me, then there's nothing to be scared of. As long as I protect chichi, even from him, I have something to live for.
I was writing 'My Forever', and going in-between dreams and reality in that story, and it made me want to do the same thing in this story. It wasn't supposed to be so freaky… though the dream came out how I wanted it to. Well, mpreg fans, tell me how you feel!