well it has been nearly a week since I last posted and i want to apolagise because I got about half way through and then I couldn't think of anything to write. I have also started back at school which hasn't helped an especially with the loads of homework that ive been given and the assignment but I hope this is good enough and keeps you guys wanting more. I do not own these characters Stephanie Meyer does, Im just having fun with them.
No! What? They all knew and didn't tell me! This was so unfair I had a right to know! So much for being 'part of the family'.
"Hang on a sec...all of you have known since it happened and didn't tell me! I don't care about the others not telling me, but you...Jake...you of all people! Why?" I had turned my body and moved to the furthest point I could in the cab away from him.
"Bells I'm sorry I really wanted to tell you...you have no idea how much I wanted to tell you but I couldn't...I was under Sam's orders on not to say anything and go on as normal as if nothing had happened...I couldn't disobey they were alpha orders Bella. You know we can't disobey them...please understand." Why was it that everyone seemed to be pleading today.
"Well that answer's my next question then but then why haven't I felt a 'pull' towards him when we kissed?" As much as I was pissed I was curious as well.
"We think because you were still so caught up in 'Sparkly bitch' world, you didn't pay any attention to Paul and the way he felt about you or you to him. You guys always ragged on each other and we think that, that's how you guys dealt with it. It also explains why you basically only see me all the time and when you do see the pack their always eating so they can't say anything..."
The more Jacob was talking the more it sunk in and how much everything made sense. The way Paul looked at me, the way I never really saw and spoke to the pack...everything.
I got out of the truck and headed off towards the beach.
"Bells where you going?"
"To be by myself for a while...just leave me alone please..." I started walking faster until I rounded the corner and I slowed my pace letting everything sallow me and take me out of this reality.
I just kept walking as long as my legs and thoughts would take and as soon as I knew it I found myself sitting on the beach with the rain pelting the side of my face. All my crazy thoughts washed away with the water.
I never knew how clear your mind and how much you could think through sitting on a beach. It was relaxing but at the same time agonizing of how much I actually had to think through. I found myself rubbing the newly found little baby bump and telling it that everything was going to be ok and I would always be there for it. I hoped it was a baby boy so it would be a wolf just like its father. As much as I wanted a girl I couldn't bring myself to having a daughter, I'm not sure why.
The rain had stopped now and as much as I was cold I couldn't bring myself to go back to Jacob's or Sam and Emily's.
The more I thought about Paul and our baby the more I felt the pull towards him. I wanted to go and be with him stand by his side and wake up every morning for the rest of my life net to him, but then I realise that I also need time away so I can think things through and make sense of everything that has happened today, I needed time for it all to sink in.
I pictured us with our baby in our own home in ten years. We had the rest of the pack over for a barbeque and Emily was there to help me cook like always. The pack out the back with us, throwing the ball around with our baby boy. The boys goofing around like usual and ending up with a wrestling match over some stupid thing.
I heard footsteps approaching and it broke me out of my day dream. Next thing there was a towel and then a jacket being placed on my shoulder and then some-ones warm arms. I looked up to see who it was and saw Seth sit down beside me.
"Hey...it's getting late...have you been here all day?" As well as Jacob, Seth was like another brother to me and that's why it hurt so much to have him lie to me as well.
"Yer...needed time away from everyone...needed time to think...surprisingly the rain helps you do that..." I smiled as I said the last bit and I heard him chuckle as well, "How is he?" Seth didn't need to read my mind to know who I was talking about.
"Not so good...he just wants to see you and make sure your both ok..." I had always heard of Emily saying how hard it was for her and Sam to be away from each other and I never fully understood, until now, "Look Bella...I'm really sorry but there was nothing I cou-" I cut him off
"Yer I know Seth, Jacob explained you were under alpha orders not to say anything...there was nothing you could do... " after a day of thinking I actually understood how hard it was for all of them not to say anything around me.
"C'mon lets get you back and out of this cold..."He got up and then pulled me up. We started walking back towards Emily's, Seth's arm still draped around me shoulders, keeping me as warm as possible, "If you don't mind me asking...how do you feel about Paul?" His words came out rushed.
"Honestly...I couldn't live without him...him and this little one" I started pocking my baby bump gently, "are my life now...I wouldn't want anything to change..."
"That's wonderful Bella! Paul's been racking his brains all day wondering if you'd hate him or not...we all tried to calm him down but nothing that anyone has said has worked...he only what's to see you..."His voiced lowered as he said the last bit.
"Yer I know how he feels...thankyou Seth by the way..." If it wasn't for him, I would still be sitting on the beach thinking about everything and day dreaming about the future.
"Always here for you...whether you need it or not..."
We continued the rest of the trip in silence, Seth not once removing his arm until we reached the driveway and that's when Emily came out and took Seth's place and he went inside.
"Bella I'm so sorry I thought he told you otherwise I wouldn't have said anything..."She was talking so fast it was like she was going to run out of air.
"Emily it's ok, if you didn't say anything I still wouldn't know now, so I guess I should be thanking you really..."
"Oh Bella no problems..."she pulled me into a comforting hug and I knew that I was forgiven about the way I reacted earlier, "c'mon Paul won't move from his seat out the back until he see's you..."She let it sit in the air for a while before I started to move towards the house.
I walked through the door and all the boys turned to face me. Embry was the first to make a move and come over.
"Bella I'm so sorry I thought you knew...I wouldn't have opened my mouth otherwise...I'm really sorry Bella..." Both Emily and I started chuckling and Embry looked startled, "What's so funny?"
"You just said like Emily. It's basically what she said to me outside" I calmed myself down before speaking again, "It's alright Embry really as I said to Emily if you didn't say anything I still wouldn't know so I hues I should thank you to..." I don't think the smile on his face could have gotten any wider, he must of really beaten himself up over it. I gave him a hug and he pulled away suddenly just like Jake did, "What...what's wrong? Am I still wet?" I knew I should have dried off a bit more before I came in.
"No your fine, for a human your actually really warm...it's just that I didn't want to hold you to tight and hurt the little one..." His voice trailed off.
"What is it...both you and Jake have done that today...you guys shouldn't have to be worrying about that just yet..." So enough I'm not going to be able to touch anyone.
"Bells we have to worry about that because your starting to show just a little bit and with our strength and everything...we just don't want to hurt you two...that's all..." Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Thankyou guys for being so cautious...it better continue when this kids born..." I was deadly serious about the last bit. If any of them hurt my kid, accidental or not I would personally rip their head off, "Paul still out the back?" They all turned around when I said this and the only one who responded was Sam. He nodded towards the door.
I made way through the rest of the house feeling a bit of Déjà vu. I stopped just short of the back doors and found Paul sitting in one of the chairs with his head in his hands. Had I really caused this?
I stood there for a while just watching him even though there wasn't really much to watch. Every now and then he would curse at himself for being so stupid and not telling me earlier.
"Yer you were stupid for not telling me earlier..." His head snapped up and he raced to my side, "But I forgive you...it took me a while to realise that you were just trying to protect me...and I understand now..." His lips were crushing down on mine before I could say anything 's if I could think of anything to say next.
"Bella...I'm so sorry...I didn't mean for that to happen and...sorry" He mumbled against my lips, not wanting to break us apart. He pulled me to him so every part of us was touching.
We were interrupted by clapping and 'get a rooms'. He broke apart un-willingly and smiled at everyone. Pauls hand went to my lower abdomen and started rubbing small circles. I looked up and smiled at him, placing my hand over his. He bent down and started cooing at the small lump that was now forming.
"Wow Paul that's the closest you've gotten to a kid without making it cry." They all burst out laughing and Jared copped a whack on the head from Sam. Paul turned at glared at Jared and the rest of the boys laughed harder. He stood up and pressed his lips to mine, bringing the rest of his body to mine as well.
"Seriously get a room guys this is just getting sick..." It was Embry who interrupted us this time and he got a whack on the head from Sam as well. Instead of Paul glaring at him he pulled away and smiled at me pulling me inside with the rest of the guys.
The boys sat in the lounge room like always and I helped Emily cook dinner. After cooking for nearly one hour we sat the table and got the food ready.
"Hey Bella...have you made a doctor's appointment yet...?" SHIT! I hadn't even thought about it.
"Um...no...should I have...?" Really...should I have? I had no idea put this stuff...I mean after all I was only seventeen...
"Yer...it would be an amazing experience. Your first time as a soon-to-be-mum doctor's appointment...you'll have an altra sound and hear the baby's heart beat." She was rambling off into her own world.
"Ok then...Paul can you come here for a sec..." I heard muttering and then what sounded like a slap over the heard then a whole bunch of laughing.
"what's up?" he came over to me and put his hands on my waist.
"What days are you doing patrol next week?" Surprisingly this seemed so normal like we'd been talking bout this for months.
"Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and Saturday morning...whatcha wanna do?" he seemed really excited even though he didn't know what I was going to ask.
"Uh...just a doctor's appointment...should I make it for Tuesday around lunch time?" His smile grew wider and he nodded.
I didn't realise that Emily had walked out, until she walked back in and told us that food was ready and if we didn't get anything soon there wouldn't be any left.
"You coming?" Paul started to drag me off but I pulled back.
"Yer...I'll just call the doctor first...you know make sure we get in..." He smiled and almost sprinted off to the table almost knocking Emily over in the process.
I started to walk outside pulling my mobile out of my pocket as well.
"Hey Bella...Have you got a doctor to go see?"
"Um...no I haven't I was just about to ring around and see..." Emily came closer than what she was and handed me a card.
"Here...this is my doctor, he's really good...give him a call and see if you can get in..." Emily voice lowered and she looked like she was about to cry but she turned quickly and went back inside.
I looked at the card over and over again before I actually looked at the number. I flipped my phone open and dialled the number.
Hello, welcome to Dr. Ashton's office, this is Rebecca how may I help you? She sounded young, younger than me. There was so much emotion in her voice that I couldn't understand why...
Hello? Is anyone there?
Oh...uh...sorry...hi...I was wondering if I could make an appointment for next Tuesday around 12 o'clock please?
Yes...we have an opening at 12:50...is that ok?
Yes that's fine...
Ok...could I have a name please...shit! I didn't even think that she would want a name but then again I wasn't really thinking at all...
Uh...Bella...Swan...Bella Swan...
Ok...Ms. Swan I'll see you next Tuesday at 12:50 goodbye... and the phone feel silent. For once someone didn't recognise me as Cheif Swan's daughter.
I stood outside for a while, as the pregnancy struck me again and I didn't know what to do with myself and the fact that I just made a doctor's appointment made it all real again. I heard the crashing and yelling again and it broke me out of me day dream.
I walked back inside to find Emily cleaning the spilt food on the floor and Sam yelling at Jared and Embry.
"Hey Em let me help with that..." She looked up at me and she had tears in her eyes.
"Yer sure...actually can you take over for a minute...?" She got up and ran down the hallway and into their room. Sam was after her shortly after.
I turned back to find Jared and Embry standing in-front of me with sorry looks on their faces.
"Bella leave it we'll clean it up..." Jared went to approach but I stuck my hand out stopping him.
"Yer Bells, you shouldn't be doing any cleaning...it was our fault..." Embry didn't even move it was like he was to scared.
"Don't touch anything...just leave it all alone...seriously I thought you guys would learn by now, do all of you..." I spoke louder now so everyone in the room could hear me, "Even realise how much shit me and Emily do for you guys...and all you can do is yell at each other and make a mess and do that..." I extended my arm down the hall way where Sam and Emily had gone, "Make Emily cry...her and I both think the world of you guys and the way you repay her is by making her cry...and then you come over here and 'ask' to clean up when you should be doing it in the first place..." I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself, "Just go bother someone else..." I had no idea where that came from but it felt good to get everything out but at the same time I felt bad because whether I liked it or not these guys are my family.
They all left the room and went and watched t.v, leaving me to clean up. I had just finished putting everything in the trash when Emily can up beside me.
"Thankyou...for cleaning up and for putting them all in their place..." Her eyes were puffy from crying and a little smile was playing on her face.
"No problem Em...anyway whether I like it or not you guys are family and us imprints have to stick together..." She hugged me tightly as I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back. She pulled away abruptly.
"Bella! You haven't had anything to eat do you want something? I can cook you something if you want?"
"Um...no it's alright I should be getting home...but thanks anyway" I smiled
"Oh ok...did you want Sam to drive you?"
"Um...no it's alright I think the walk to Jake's might do me some good but tell everyone I said bye..."
I hugged her again and made my way towards the door.
Once I was sure I was out of hearing range I pulled my phone out and dialled Jake's number.
Wow Bella's hormones are really running wild aren't they? lets hope she calms down in the next chapter. I have been really extatic to the amount of reviews I get everytime I post a new chapter. If I'm not reading on here im writing for it so you could say that fanfiction has become another part of my life. I have no idea what i would do without it. also just a quick HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN! to another great friend of mine Yvonne! so last chapter i asked team jacob or team seth so heres another one Team Embry or Team Brady? thanks guys xx