Chapter 10- The Sound of Silence
"Hello darkness, my old friend, I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping, Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain,
Still remains, within the sound of silence.
In restless dreams I walked alone, Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'neath the halo of a street lamp, I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night, and touched the sound of silence."
The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel
Varric and Isabela stood in the corner and watched as Anders prepared to enter the Fade. Varric could tell that Isabela was nervous as the pirate wench rung her hands together for the third time. He had to admit that he was a bit anxious himself, and the jumpy rogue was doing nothing to calm his apprehension. As the mage couple calmly made their final preparations, their composed demeanor reassured Varric and soothed his anxiety.
Kate was lying on a bedroll on the floor. On a pedestal behind her head was a bowl of pure liquid lyrium that shimmered, giving Anders, who stood behind the basin, a blue glow that for once had nothing to do with the Spirit that resided inside him. Standing on either side of Kate was Declan, the husband, and Shivon, his wife. Declan bent over Kate and with a small dagger he cut a long strip off of her night shirt. Then he gently picked up Kate's hand and slit her palm open. Isabela began to protest, but Anders shot her a warning look, the rogue sank back against the wall and continued to ring her hands.
Declan took the strip of cloth from Kate's night shirt, soaked it in the blood that was now oozing from the wound on her hand. When the fabric had turned completely crimson Declan handed it to his wife. As Declan healed Kate's hand, Shivon wrapped the blood soaked material around a large amethyst colored crystal as she chanted an incantation. As the spell ended, the gem glowed a vibrant purple and vibrated within her hand. She smiled as she handed it to Anders.
"This will act as a guide to aid you in your search. The closer that you get to her the brighter the quartz will glow, and the harder it will vibrate," Shivon explained.
Anders took the crystal and placed it in the pocket of his robes. "Thank you, this will hopefully make it easier to find her."
"If she wants to be found, this will definitely help you do that," she stated.
Declan stood up. "Are you ready, Anders?"
Anders nodded, uncorked the vial of lyrium and drank. The couple began to chant, the basin began to glow as smoke rose from the surface. Anders took a deep breath as he reached into the bowl. The moment his hand touched the lyrium, a bright light emanated from the basin and into his hand, the light coursed through him until it completely enveloped him and then he completely disappeared.
"Holy shit," Isabela breathed out.
"You got that right," Varric mumbled, as he warily sat down in the chair near her. He pulled out a flask and took a long pull on the amber liquid. As the warm liquor burned a path down his throat, he said, "There is never a dull moment with you around, Hawke."
He passed the container to Isabela who also took a long draw from it. She wiped her lips with the back of her hand. "That's why we keep you around ol' girl."
Varric chuckled. "She is going to kick your ass for calling her that."
"It won't be the first time," Isabela said with a long sigh as she looked over at Kate's motionless body. "And I pray it won't be the last." She took another long sip and then handed the flask back to Varric.
"It won't." Varric said sounding more confident than he felt. He took another sip and then laughed, "Do you remember that time when she found out that you were cheating at darts?"
Isabela started chuckling, "Yes! Thank the Maker that she had removed her daggers so that she could throw better, or else I'm pretty sure she would have created a new orifice for me."
"Yes, I do recall Fenris restraining her while I hid her blades," Varric chuckled.
A wide grin spread across his face as he remembered that night. Things with Anders…actually Justice had rapidly deteriorated, which always had Kate on edge. That night was the last time he had enjoyed an evening with her before everything had gone to hell.
Varric, Fenris, Hawke and Isabela were completely exhausted after finding the last Awiergan Scroll. They dragged themselves into the Hanged Man. Varric secured them a table and ordered two pitchers of ale, he knew the first one would be gone in a matter of minutes.
"By a paragon's stinky arse, that was the biggest, ugliest Pride demon I have ever seen," Varric sighed as he gulped down his first mug of ale.
"I thought he was never going to die. That damn green glowy thing he did was seriously starting to piss me off," Isabela added.
"Whose idiotic idea was it to go face Hybris without a mage," Varric grumbled as he tenderly touched the black eye that he was sporting. Fenris grumbled in agreement as he removed his gauntlets, revealing numerous cuts and bruises.
Kate humbly raised her hand. "Well, Merrill and I aren't on the best terms right now, since her stupid actions forced me to annihilate an entire Dalish clan. And Anders…well he hasn't really been himself lately."
Isabela winced as she propped her foot up on the table and gingerly untied her boots. There was a huge gash that ran down her calf. "Well, I could really use some healing right about now."
Varric asked Norah for a bowl of clean water and some clean clothes, as he handed her a healing potion. "Drink this while I clean up that wound so that it doesn't get infected."
"If you're playing doctor, Varric," Kate lifted her rogue's armor to show a nasty gash across her stomach.
"Maker's breath Kitten, why didn't you say something?"
"You know me; I take a lickin' and keep on tickin'"
Isabela smiled mischievously at her. "Oh yesss, I do…especially the lickin' part."
Fenris rolled his eyes as he leaned down and examined the wound. "That looks deep, Hawke."
"Oh, it looks worse than it feels, but if Varric is passing out healing potions. I could use one."
"Anders really should look at that," Isabela insisted.
"If he is there when I get home tonight, I'll have him heal it," Kate said, as she pressed a damp cloth against her side to stop the blood from oozing down her abdomen.
Fenris raised an eyebrow, "The abomination isn't coming home at night?"
Kate's eyes looked sad as she replied. "He has been working a lot of late nights at the clinic." She grabbed her mug and before anyone could say anything she raised her glass. "Here's to our enemies, lying face down, cold in their graves."
They all grinned as the raised their glasses and shouted, "Salute!"
"So you haven't spoken to Merrill since our trip to Sundermount?" Isabela asked.
Kate shook her head. "No…I just don't know what to say. I'm still so angry at her."
They all nodded in agreement, but remained silent. To help ease the tension, Varric raised his glass for another toast and his companions followed his lead.
"Here's to the perfect Girl, I couldn't ask for more, she's deaf, dumb, oversexed, and owns a liquor store."
"Salute!" They all said in unison.
"Well except for the liquor store, I believe you just described Bianca," Fenris stated coolly.
"Well if Aveline would ever do her job, my precious Bianca could own the Hanged Man," Varric stated.
Kate laughed then winced as she grabbed her side. "Dream on, my stout friend. I don't see that happening."
Varric raised an eyebrow. "Hawke, Anders should…"
She waved him off. "I'll be fine just as soon as that healing draught kicks in."
"Hey, the dart board is free. How about we play Cricket?" Isabela suggested.
"You cheat," Fenris stated.
"That has never been proven," Isabela said dryly.
"We all know you cheat, Bells, but I'll still beat ya," Kate cooed.
Isabela grinned as she stood up and made her way over to the dart board. "Care to place a wager on that."
Kate, Fenris, and Varric followed. "Okay, Fenris and me, verses you and Varric. Loser buys the ale for the rest of the night."
"I'll take that bet," Varric chimed in.
"Is that the best that you got? Loser buys the ale. How original?" Isabela taunted.
"Free ale always sounds good to me, but tell me what you had in mind," Kate replied.
A roguish grin spread across Isabela's face, but before she could even make a suggestion Kate added, "As long as it doesn't involve me sleeping with you."
"Well we won't necessarily be sleeping," Isabela countered.
"We won't be doing anything that involves the removal of clothing, groping, touching, licking, sucking or any other thing that is going through that wicked mind of yours," Kate stated.
"Hmmm, I wonder if you can have sex without the removal of clothing, groping, touching, licking, or sucking," Isabela pondered.
"That would be an interesting challenge," Fenris stated.
"Let me make this clear as I can, there will be no penetration of any kind. Is that clear?" Kate demanded.
"No poking whatsoever? Not ever a little?" Isabela cooed.
"How about I poke this dart so far up your arse that I could use your tonsils as a bullseye?"
"I do believe that was one of Madam Lusine's specials at the Blooming Rose last week," Varric chuckled.
"So that's why half of Kirkwall has all but disappeared," Fenris said.
"Yep, and the other half will disappear this week for the donkey show she brought in," Varric stated matter-of-factly.
"I will make sure not to miss out on that!" Isabela exclaimed.
"That statement gives new meaning to the word 'animal lover,'" Varric said dryly.
Kate laughed then gripped her side. "Kitten, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, but it would be really great if that healing potion started to work."
"That was an extra strength one, Hawke. I think we should send for Anders."
"NO!" Kate exclaimed then she quickly reigned in her emotions. "Anders is busy and I am fine."
Varric's eyes narrowed, but then he quickly said, "Okay fine, but here is another potion."
She took it from him as he continued, "Since you and Rivaini can't make up your minds regarding the bet, let me propose this. The looser has to be at the winner's beck and call for an entire month. They have to follow every command, no matter how outrageous it is…" Kate was about to protest, but Varric waved her off. "However, the commands cannot be sexual in nature."
Kate smiled, but Isabela pouted. "Where's the fun in that? Can we at least make them dress up in costumes? I saw this naughty Andraste costume that would look absolutely delicious on you, Kitten?"
Varric looked over at Kate. She nodded her consent as she drank the healing potion. "Great, let's get started. The best out of three wins."
Varric ordered another pitcher of ale and when Norah brought it over to them, he causally passed the waitress a note. Isabela nodded her approval as she raised her mug of ale, "Here's to heat, not the kind that ignites and burns down shanties, but the kind that excites...and slides down panties!"
"Salute!" They called out as Kate stepped up to the line and began to aim her darts. In three quick throws she closed out twenties. Isabela stepped up; taking careful aim she hit three triples, closing out fifteens, seventeens and nineteens.
"Fucking cheater," Kate cursed under her breath.
"Now, now, Hawke. Don't be a sore loser."
Fenris stepped up next. Hitting two sixteens and one bullseye. Varric dragged a crate over and hopped on it. He took precise aim. He hit a double on the bullseye closing it out, a triple on the eighteens and a single on the sixteens closing them out and winning the first round for team Visabela.
Isabela grinned at Kate."Kitten, you're going to look luscious, running around Kirkwall in that costume."
"You haven't won yet, wench. I'm just getting warmed up," Kate hissed and she wasn't kidding. She hit a triple on sixteens, and then a double followed by a single to close out fifteens.
The battle continued with Kate and Fenris winning the second round and the third now tied. It was once again Kate's turn to throw. She needed to close out one of the numbers to keep the game tied. She took careful aim when Varric watched her sway on her feet. He was about to lunge for her, but she regained control as she made three rapid shots, closing out eighteens. Isabela made her way over to the throwing line, Norah accidentally bumped into her, knocking one of her darts out of her hand. Isabela reached for it, but Kate got there first. She palmed the dart in her hand. Her face went ridged with anger.
"Weighted darts, you cheating bitch," Kate hissed as she sprung at the pirate. Isabela leapt back just as Fenris grabbed Kate around the waist. She cried out in pain. Varric looked down and saw blood soaking through her shirt.
"By a paragon's arse, where is that damn mage?"
As if being summoned, Anders rushed up. "What the bloody hell…" The sentence faded from his lips as he stared down at Kate who was now lying on the floor soaked in her own blood.
Anders knelt down beside her as he began to examine her. "Why the hell wasn't I called sooner?"
"Kate said you were too busy," Fenris jeered.
"What!" Anders growled.
"Blondie, to be honest the cut looked bad a first, but after I cleaned it up and bandaged it she seemed fine. I sent the note after she had taken two full strength healing potions and it didn't seem to help with the pain."
"Two!" Anders exclaimed as his hands began to glow blue with healing magic. "Oh it helped alright. It masked the pain perfectly, until injured artery finally burst open."
"This is your fault, mage," Fenris growled.
Still running his hand over her body, sending healing magic into all of her vessels and veins, Anders hissed, "Oh this should be good. How do you figure that?"
"Maybe if you actually took care of her and looked after her, she wouldn't be worried about interrupting whatever it is that you and the demon are cooking up?"
Varric saw the color drain from Anders' face."W-what? She was afraid to ask for my help."
"She said that you are spending most nights at the clinic while she waits; all alone in that big bed of hers for her wayward apostate to come home to her. Obviously you're neglecting our girl. Keep this up and I might just have to step in to take care of her needs…again!" Isabela declared.
"Stay away from her wench," Anders sneered.
"Love isn't just lip service, Anders. You might want to start acting like you mean those words," Isabela retorted.
"I do mean them. I do love her," Anders whispered in a defeated tone just as Kate's eyes opened.
She smiled up at him, "Anders." She said breathlessly.
Anders pulled her to his chest. "I'm so sorry, Kate. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you." He kissed her forehead and cheeks."P-please don't ever be afraid to come to me; no matter how busy you think I am…" He kissed her lips. "You could have died tonight. I can't lose you."
He then stood up, scooped her into his arms and started for the door. Kate looked over her shoulder, "Cheaters forfeit the game and must now fulfill the bet."
Isabela smiled with relief. "Gladly," she sighed.
Varric looked over at Isabela. She loved Kate just as much as Anders, but in a very different way. She was good for Kate, it's just that Varric knew that Anders was better for her.
xxXxx
It took all of Kate's strength to sit up and ease back against a nearby tree. She was growing weaker, her memories of why she was desperately trying to hang on were fading. She took several deep breaths, forced herself to focus on what was going on around her. She was in a pasture that had a stream that ran through it. This meadow looked very familiar and as she looked around, feelings of love, joy and contentment flooded through her. She had been happy here, this was the field that had been behind their home in Gwaren.
She closed her eyes and smiled as memories of those years flooded through her. Her mother and brother had been alive, her sister was still by her side and Anders…her beautiful mage was whole, healthy and undamaged. She allowed the memories to wash over her, inundating her senses, submerging her in euphoric bliss as images of her sparring with Carver, singing with her mother, cooking with Bethany, and dancing, running, laughing and making love to Anders, engulfed her.
"I want to be happy again," she sighed.
"Katie darlin', I promise one day you will be," the voice of her father said consolingly.
Kate's eyes flew open, she stared into the loving face of her father. Tears welled up, her voice cracked as she spoke. "D-daddy?"
"Yes, Love it's me," Malcolm said tenderly.
"Oh, Daddy," she cried out as she flung herself into her father's loving embrace. His arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly to him, making her feel safe. After a long moment, he kissed her forehead and then sat down beside her.
"Are you real?" She asked.
"Did I feel real just now?"
She smiled, "Yes, what I mean is, am I hallucinating?"
"You are not hallucinating. I am as real as you are in the Fade."
Her eyebrows furrowed, "Are you here to take me to the other side?"
He smiled sincerely at her. "Well that depends."
"On what?"
"There are several factors that still need to play out, so we will have to wait and see." He took her hands into his and gently squeezed them. "Katie darlin', why have you lingered here? Your body is healed and yet your spirit has remained. Why?"
She drew in a long breath then exhaled. "It's just so peaceful here. There are no causes to fight for…no pain…whether intentional or unintentional…no one that needs me…no one I can fail."
Malcolm pulled her back into his arms. "Sweetheart, you have failed no one. You were fifteen when I died. It was my responsibility to protect you, not the other way around, I am the one that failed you…"
Kate began to protest, but Malcolm waved her off. "As your father, I should have seen the type of man Thomas was and shielded you from that. I died the way a father should die… protecting his family. You, my darlin', beautiful daughter, grew up much quicker than I had ever wanted, but you did a wonderful job of providing and protecting our family."
"But, Carver…Mother…"
"Their deaths were beyond your control. Bad things happen to good people all the time. There is no rhyme or reason for it. It's just part of life. It was their time. There was no stopping it. There was nothing you could have done differently that would have given those situations a different outcome. The sooner that you accept this, the better off you're going to be."
"Anders… I failed Anders."
"No Love, you saved Anders."
"How can you say that? He was possessed by a spirit that drove him insane, and convinced him to murder a bunch of innocent people in the name of Justice."
"Katie, you were the anchor that tethered Anders to this world. Without you, he would have lost himself and his mind to Justice long before he did. It wasn't that you failed him or that you didn't love him enough. Anders just no longer had the strength to continue to fight the spirit that was raging within him, but even now his love for you is what gives him the resilience to fight for you because without you, he will surely drown."
Kate burst into tears as she buried her head into her father's chest. "I just don't know if I can do it anymore. I love him… I love him with every fiber of my being, but I just don't know if I have the strength to carry both him and Justice anymore. I'm tired, Dad. I'm so damn tired."
"Life is very uncertain, my dear child, but if there is one thing that will always ring true, there will always be something good that comes out of a horrible situation. From my death you were able to provide a stable home for Carver and Bethany for five years. You emerged from the Deep Roads, able to provide a better life for your mother; a life that I know she missed. From the defeat of the Arishok, you were able to wield your power and influence to save and protect hundreds of mages and from the destruction of the Chantry, Anders and you have changed the lives of mages for generations to come." Malcolm kissed her forehead. "I am so proud you, my darlin' girl, so damn proud and I love you so much. Draw your strength from me and the love I have for you. It will give you the power to carry on and be strong for those that love you. And you are loved, dear Katie. You are surrounded by people that love you and would do anything for you. Hold onto that and remember, no matter what life throws at you, we will be there with you. All of our love will be there to guide and protect you, until the day that you come to join us."
Malcolm held his little girl tight in his arms as he stroked her hair. "Now you rest, darlin'. Close your eyes go to sleep, knowing you are safe in your father's arms."
Kate did as her father instructed and within minutes she was asleep. She woke sometime later, alone to the sound of her name being called. She tried to sit up, but she was too weak. She tried to call out, but no sound would come.
"KATE!" The voice called out again, this time even closer.
She tried to smack the ground trying to make some noise, but she was unable to raise her hand.
"Kate…" Footsteps raced up to her, then fell down beside her. "Oh Kate," Anders moaned pulling her into arms as a single tear trickled down her cheek.
A/N – First I want to apologize if I didn't personally thank any reviewers on this last chapter. Fall is my busiest time of year at work so I have been a little behind. Thank you to all of my wonderful and faithful reviewers, you guys are awesome and you always make me smile.
*Thank you to everyone that has added this story to your fav and alert lists.
*Well, for this story I haven't done a song yet for my betas so this one is for the Beta Queens, Jinxy and Bonkzy.
You are the Beta Queens, young and sweet, only seventeen
Beta Queens, feel the period as you proof read
You can slash, you can mash, in a dash with your red pen
See those girls, watch that scene, digging the Beta Queens