A/N: Thank you to each and every one who has read, reviewed, recommended, followed, favorited and added me to communities. You've made this writer very happy. I am positively humbled by your support and my gratitude is off the charts!

*Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. SM owns all, I'm just playing in her toy box for a while. I promise to clean up before I leave.

Chapter 10

My head pounded. My arms hurt. And a fresh summer's breeze washed over my face as everything came flooding back to me in a rush. I inhaled deeply through my nose, transported to a happier place, an easier time.

So, my heaven was on the back porch of our old house in Arizona?

But something wasn't right. Shouldn't heaven be free of pain and grief? Or was this really hell, an eternity of being forced to relive the repercussions of my sins, tarnishing one of the only places I'd felt at peace before my life had turned to ruin? A place I'd cherished before I'd discovered what real love was and how it could rip out your heart like a hungry beast when it went wrong.

"Edward," I whimpered.

There'd been so much anguish on his beautiful face, so much raw dismay. I didn't want to leave him. I wanted to stay in his heaven, stay with him forever, whether he wanted me there or not. Why were the Gods tormenting me so? To give me a small taste of what could be, only to tear me away from him once again. It wasn't fair. I couldn't even kill myself right.

My eyelids felt like ten-pound weights were attached to them, though, with considerable effort, I eventually pried them open to small slits. Wait. I knew that ceiling, this room. Damn it. I'd been thrown back into the land of the living. Even heaven and hell didn't want me.

The room was dimly lit, but even the small amount of light aggravated my headache to a new level of pain. I deserved the punishment.

"Welcome back, darlin'."

I hesitantly turned my head on the pillow to be met with fiery, golden eyes, so close to my face our noses almost touched. It wasn't a breeze at all. It was Jasper's invigorating breath. I tried to swallow, but my throat felt like it had been grated with harsh desert sand.

"You're angry with me," I hoarsely whispered.

A water bottle with a bendy straw appeared in front of my mouth and I greedily sipped from it.

"You bet your fine little ass I'm angry with you. Don't you dare scare me like that again. You're lucky I don't give you a spankin' for that trick you pulled."

I gingerly raised my right hand and pushed the bottle away. "I'm sorry."

His piercing stare conveyed so much and the emotions emanating from him overwhelmed me, sending my head into a spin.

"Don't you care about any of us, Bella? Don't you care about me? I never thought you'd be so selfish. You had me scared out of my mind. Did you really think leaving me would make me feel better? Haven't I lost enough already?"

I closed my eyes after several remorseful tears escaped, dissolving my bitterness from being saved. I'd allowed depression to get the better of me and a heavy curtain of disgrace surrounded my being. I'd taken his feelings for granted, never truly believing he could honestly care for me so much. I thought I'd been nothing more than a burden on this plane, an unwanted, inherited obligation he felt compelled to protect out of duty and respect for his perished sibling and wife. I couldn't believe or understand why my life held so much worth in his eyes. But I believed him now. The fog had lifted and I didn't want to see or hear his disappointment in me ever again. I didn't think my heart could ache any more than it already did. I'd been mistaken, once again.

"I thought I was doing what was best for everyone, especially you," I murmured, my croaky voice laced with guilt.

"Well, in future, don't do me any favors. Okay? I can't go through that again. You mean so much to me. I can't lose you, Bella."

Cool fingers softly caressed my cheek, wiping the salty droplets of shame away, and the enormity of what I'd tried to do to myself sunk in. I was such a terrible person.

"I do care about you, Jasper. I'm so sorry."

He kissed the tip of my nose and slowly wrapped me in his arms. "I know you are, darlin'. Empath, remember? Just promise me you won't try anything like that again."

"I promise."

He held me for the longest time, stroked my back and ran his fingers through the length of my hair, until all my tears dried up. When I opened my eyes, his gaze had softened. He looked at me as if I was something precious, something worth keeping.

"You wouldn't really spank me, would you?" I whispered.

He quietly chuckled. "Only if you asked me to."

I trembled, unsure if it was from his brazen words or his cold body lying against me.

He pulled away and tucked the blanket tight around me. "It's almost midnight. Get some more sleep, if you can. We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes, and I'll be sure to pack your bikini for you."

"You're still taking me to Isle Esme?"

"Private jet, baby, all the way."

~oOOo~

Surprisingly, I'd slept for another ten hours straight. Carlisle examined me and gave the all-clear for us to fly out that night, supplying Jasper with an array of medication, should I need it. I'd been annoyed he didn't trust me to handle my own meds, though I guess I couldn't blame him. I'd have to earn that right back.

Esme spent most of the day with me and I felt so guilty for putting her in the position I had yesterday. I'd expected her to reprimand me, though she did nothing of the sort. Her love had no bounds.

Jasper wouldn't let me pack my own bags for our trip, insisting I stay in bed until it was time to leave.

"I'm not an invalid," I whined.

"I know that, but I don't want you to put any strain on your wrists. They need time to heal, so get used to me doing things for you until you're well enough to handle it on your own."

"But you don't even know what I want to pack. At least let me go through my clothes."

He raised a challenging eyebrow. "I lived with Alice for fifty-eight years. I think I've got this, Bella."

His phone rang before I could retort.

He checked the screen and tossed it onto the bed beside me. "It's for you. It's Emmett. He rang a few times while you were sleeping."

I groaned. "Is he angry with me, too?"

"Why don't you answer it and find out?"

I took a deep breath and accepted the call. "Hey, Em."

"You are in so much trouble, young lady," he scolded. "What the hell did you think you were doing?"

I sighed into the phone. "I wasn't thinking, I guess."

"Clearly! I leave you alone for a few days and all your senses fly out the window. I have a good mind to put you over my knee, woman."

"Geez, what is it with you and Jasper wanting to spank me? I'm sorry, okay? I won't do anything so stupid again. Promise. So, leave my butt out of this."

"Hold up. Jasper wants to spank you? When did he get so kinky?"

I glanced over at the man in question as he zipped up my suitcase. He wiggled his brow with a smirk.

"You tell me. If I didn't know better, I'd swear his body had been taken over and possessed by you."

"Nah, impossible. I'm too much awesome for that puny Texan.

Jasper scowled. "You'll pay for that, Emmett."

Emmett's chuckle made me smile. I'd really missed the big jerk.

"But seriously, Bella, don't ever do that again. I almost had a heart attack when I heard what had happened. You really scared me, and I don't scare easily."

"I'm sorry. It was a moment of weakness, that's all. It won't happen again."

"You bet it won't, 'cause I'm coming home. I'll handcuff you to the bed if I have to."

"You're coming back?"

My heart raced with excitement at the thought of seeing him again, but then I realized it would also mean I'd have to deal with Rosalie as well, and I wasn't ready for that. There was a strong possibility I never would be.

"I am, indeed," he said, "so prepare for all your cheeks to be blushing red by the time I'm finished with you."

"Emmett!" Esme shouted from downstairs.

Jasper grabbed the phone from me. "Sorry to cut your conversation short, Em, but we have to get going. Call me on the satellite phone if there are any problems with what we discussed earlier. We should arrive at the island just before sunrise tomorrow. Be careful."

He hung up and pocketed his phone before laying out a clean pair of yoga pants, t-shirt, a long sweater and my Chucks. "You have just enough time to get changed. Do you need some help?"

"No, I can manage."

"Okay, meet me out front." He slipped out of the bedroom with my luggage.

After carefully dressing and awkwardly running a brush through my hair, I descended the stairs to find Jake waiting for me at the front door. He smiled, but he couldn't hide the concern swirling in his eyes.

He hugged me, lifting my feet off the ground. "I'm gonna miss you, Chica. Stay safe for me, okay?"

"I'll do my best. I'll miss you, too, Jake. Please don't be reckless while I'm gone. I can't lose my best friend."

"Ditto. And you won't. I promise. I'll be right here, waiting for you to get back. If that bloodsucker gives you any trouble, you call me right away."

"Be nice, Jake. He's my friend, too."

"Yeah, yeah. Now get going, before I decide to kidnap you instead."

He gave me one last squeeze before lowering me to the ground. Carlisle and Esme were next in line and I embraced them both.

"You'll love the island," Esme gushed. "It's my favorite place in the world. We'll see you soon, sweetheart."

"Thank you, for everything."

"You're family, Bella," Carlisle said. "No need to thank us."

I joined Jasper outside and he picked me up, gently placed me in the passenger seat of his truck before securing the seatbelt around me.

As we neared the outskirts of Forks under the cloak of night, I peered out my window. I shouldn't have been surprised to catch a glimpse of a russet wolf running parallel to the truck, just inside the tree line. When we approached the highway, I waved a teary goodbye to Jake.

His howl echoed for the next mile.

~oOOo~

I slept for most of the nine-hour flight to Brazil and, after picking up fresh groceries and supplies, Jasper navigated the Cullen's speedboat for the final leg of our journey.

The sun peeked over the horizon as we pulled up to the small jetty. The island was much larger than I'd expected—thick, lush forest covering the land past the pristine, salt-like beach. It truly did look like paradise, virtually untouched by the development of mankind.

Jasper lifted me, bridal-style, from the boat and proceeded toward the white sand.

"Put me down. I can walk. There's nothing wrong with my legs."

"Just humor me, Bella."

"Knock, knock."

He grinned. "Who's there?"

"Little old lady."'

"Little old lady who?"

"I didn't know you could yodel."

"Ugh, that's terrible, Bella," he laughed.

"Yeah, well, it's the best I could do at short notice."

He strolled down a narrow, sandy path and I gazed ahead, gobsmacked. In true Cullen-style, the house was no shack. It sat nestled in amongst a backdrop of forest and stood two-story high with a large sloped roof and a wide verandah wrapped around the outside. I don't think I could ever get used to this kind of luxury.

He delicately placed me on my feet before opening a set of glass doors, waving me inside. "Take a look around while I unload the boat. Choose whichever bedroom you like."

The interior was decorated like a Balinese palace—all natural wood, white fabric and open space with exposed beams. Magnificent.

I casually investigated every room and decided upon a bedroom that was smaller, less stately than the rest. It had a smooth stone floor, and in place of the large glass windows that surrounded the rest of the house—similar to those of Edward's room in Forks—were dark, wooden slide-back doors. Opening them eliminated two walls, allowing the ocean breeze to flow through. The temperature on the island had to be at least one hundred degrees in the shade, so I figured this room at the corner of the house, with the highest ceiling, would be the coolest to sleep in. The space was a little cluttered with furniture, but everything had a purpose and made me feel comfortable. The four-poster bed, especially, looked inviting, plush with white linen and soft coffee-brown blankets. I tested the mattress. Not too hard, not too soft. Perfect.

Jasper appeared in the doorway, laden with our luggage. "I see you've made yourself at home," he said, glancing at the openings where I'd pushed the wooden slide-backs. "You like this room, then?"

"Yes, this is more…me. Is that okay?"

"It's more than okay. This is my room."

"Oh. Well, I can take another room. It's no big deal."

"No, stay, it's fine, really."

I scrutinized my surroundings more closely. "I'm pretty sure Alice's closet in Forks is larger than this. It doesn't look like the kind of room she would design."

"That's because she didn't. Like I said, this is my room. Alice's takes up almost half of the loft."

"So…you stayed in separate rooms?"

He cleared his throat as he placed my bags on the bed beside me. "Yes. Ah, there's a bathroom right through there." He pointed to a closed door. "I think you'll enjoy the tub."

Huh. He and Alice were married. Why the hell would they have separate rooms?

He turned to leave, still holding his own bags.

"What are you doing?" I asked, jumping off the bed.

He peered over his shoulder. "I'm just going to unpack my stuff. I'll make you some breakfast when I'm done." He took another step toward the door.

"No, wait. This is your room. I don't wanna kick you out."

"It's okay. I want you to have it."

"Well, if it doesn't bother you, we could share it. I'm kinda used to you hovering. It makes me feel…safe…having you close by."

He dropped the bags at his feet and faced me with a smile. "If you're sure?"

"Yeah, it's big enough for the both of us. I mean, it's not like you sleep or anything."

"Okay."

I nodded. "Okay."

~oOOo~

I still felt fairly weak, so we spent most of the day lazing on the lounge chairs out on the verandah. I read with my Kindle on my lap while Jasper polished off several old history books from the extensive library. I envied his speed-reading skills.

When night fell and my stomach growled, we wandered inside. He wouldn't allow me to make my own dinner, but he did follow instructions well and I ate a large helping of Bacon and Mushroom Carbonara. After two weeks of having little to no appetite, I devoured everything he dished out.

I yawned when he took my plate away to wash in the sink.

"Are you ready for bed?" he asked, passing me two white pills.

I rubbed my bloated stomach as I washed down the painkillers with the last gulp of water in my glass. "No, not yet, I'm too stuffed to sleep. Thank you for dinner, it was delicious."

"You're welcome, darlin', anytime. Though, I'm not much of a cook."

"But you're a quick learner. Sorry if the smell grossed you out."

He smiled. "It's a small price to pay if it means I can get you to eat properly. Besides, I quite enjoyed doing it for you. I may never let you cook again."

"What are you going to do, follow me to college?"

"Is that something you still want to do?"

"Well, yeah, that was the plan. But it's not really something I can think about right now, not with everything else going on."

"Do you know what you want to study for your major?"

"It's not set in stone, but probably English Literature."

"Do you want to be a teacher?"

"No, maybe editing, or something to do with publishing. I'd love to make a living out of reading all day."

"I've always loved history. Maybe I'll join you at college." He clapped his hands together. "So, what do you want to do now? We could watch a movie, if you want."

"Yeah, that would be nice, as long as I don't have to move too much. I feel like a beached whale after that meal."

"You needed it. I wasn't lying when I said you were getting too skinny."

I scowled at his back as I followed him upstairs to the home theatre to pick out a movie.

We agreed on a light comedy and I settled on the most comfortable U-shaped lounge I'd ever had the pleasure of plonking my butt on. I laid back on one end while he took the other after dimming the lights and starting the projector.

Twenty minutes in, I asked the question that had plagued me since we'd left Forks.

"Why did you tell Emmett to be careful last night?"

"Huh?"

"Last night, when Em rang. You told him to call you on the satellite phone if there were any problems, and to be careful. Were you talking about Victoria?"

He rubbed his chin as he continued to stare at the mammoth screen.

"Come on, Jasper. You know I hated it when Edward kept things from me, so don't you start."

"You're right, you deserve to know what's happening. There's no point in keeping you in the dark." He moved closer and grabbed my feet, placing them on his lap.

"She's been back, hasn't she?"

"Yes, the day you tried to…ah…"

"You can say it, you know," I sighed. "It's not like it's a secret."

"It's not for your benefit, it's for mine. I don't want to even think about what you did, let alone talk about it. Not anymore. I said what I needed to say to you on that subject. I'd rather move on and try to forget about it, if it's all the same to you."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. So, what happened after, you know?"

"The wolves found her not far from the house. They chased her and she jumped off the cliffs in La Push. No one's seen her since. If Esme hadn't found you when she did, I hate to think what might have happened."

"What about Carlisle and Esme? It's not safe for them there now, is it? Oh God, Jasper, we shouldn't have left."

I tried to stand so I could pace some of the nervous energy out of me, but he held onto my feet.

"Don't worry, they'll be fine. Emmett should be with them by now and they'll be leaving for Alaska in a day or two. Besides, Jacob and the pack are still patrolling the perimeter of the property. That's where Victoria is most likely to show up again. As far as she knows, you're still there."

He massaged the balls of my feet and I sank back against the soft cushions with a groan.

"Oooh, that feels so good, especially with your cold hands. The sun has gone down, why is it still so damn hot?"

"We're on a tropical island, Bella. It's almost always hot. And you're the first human to ever stay here. That's why there's no air conditioning."

"Then why are there toilets in the bathroom? Why even have a kitchen?"

"Because Esme hired cleaners from the mainland to come over every few months to keep the house fresh and check for weather damage. They'd notice if those amenities were missing."

"Oh, that makes sense. So, you really think they'll be okay?"

"Yes, I do."

He shot me a funny look, like he wasn't so sure about something.

"Just spit it out, Jasper. Whatever it is, I want to know."

He went back to my foot massage, working his fingers over my arches. "Carlisle has a plan. They're going to lead Victoria up to the Denali's where there'll be a large group waiting for her. Now that Emmett's joined them as well, I have full confidence that they can best her, even if she brings some friends. Carlisle may be a peacekeeper by nature, but he knows how to fight. I taught him the art of combat myself. They'll be fine, Bella. Please don't worry."

"How can I not? They're risking their lives for me. If anything happens—"

"They have the numbers and the skills. Eleazar has the best fighters he knows helping and one of them is a tracker, like James was, only better. Victoria won't stand a chance physically. The worst that will happen is she gets away again. I've never come across someone who was so hard to catch before. It's her gift, I'm sure of it."

"Are we really safe here?"

"Yes. There's no way she could find out where we are. The only scent she'll have to follow is the one leading her to Alaska. Carlisle saved the clothes you wore the day of the funeral and the bandages from your wrists. She'll think one of them carried you while they ran. And the only people who are even aware of this island are family. You're definitely safe here. Besides, you have me to protect you. I'll never let anything happen to you ever again. You have my word."

"I trust you, but I'm still scared. I'm glad we're sharing a room."

He flashed me a grin. "Yeah, me, too. I like being close to you, even when you're being a brat."

"Awww, you love me," I joked.

I thought he'd say something smart in return, but he didn't, returning his attention back to the screen as he continued to relax me further, kneading a little harder with his deft fingers.

~oOOo~

I awoke in his arms as he carried me down the stairs. "Is the movie over already?"

"Yeah, you fell asleep halfway through. I'm putting you to bed."

"M'kay. That lounge is so comfortable."

"I'll be sure to tell Esme it meets your approval."

"I want one when I go off to college. It can be my bed."

He kissed the top of my head with a chuckle. "I can arrange that for you."

"Thank you, Jasper. You're too good to me."

He placed me on the mattress. "I'm going out for a quick hunt. I'll be back within an hour."

"Okay," I mumbled. "Bon appétit."

After he left, I drowsily stripped down to my underwear and t-shirt before sliding beneath the sheets.

I slipped in and out of sleep, the humidity making it impossible to rest peacefully for long. The clock beside the bed read 1:11 a.m. and I turned my pillow over, trying to find a cooler surface for my overheated head.

"I can go to the mainland early tomorrow night," Jasper said from the couch across the room. "I'll pick up an electric fan to help you sleep better."

"That'd be great, but it's not going to help me right now. It's so damn hot, it's ridiculous." I huffed. "Sorry, that sounded ungrateful. I'm grumpy when I'm tired."

He instantly appeared by my side and pulled me close to his chilled body. I haphazardly flung an appreciative arm over his waist and rested my head on his chest, closing my eyes.

"Ahhh, that's better. Who needs a fan when I have my own personal icepack to lie on."

I didn't recall waking again until late morning.

A/N: Thoughts? Reviews are better than bad knock knock jokes!

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