Hello everyone! I would like to give special thanks to snerfshoe for commenting, and I hope you have been having a wonderful week!

Warning: There will be brief mentions of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and domestic violence in this chapter, so use discretion. There will be a note in bold before and after they are mentioned for people wanting to avoid it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, Hiro Mashima does!

Chapter 10: The Conflict Grows

A month had passed since the banquet, and it was now November in a world of snow and ice. It was the 10th, and Jamie had been summoned to her father's office once again. After the argument over her scar, she had been given a special cream that would help heal her scar while hiding it completely from view. Even with the renewed confidence that it had brought in her appearance, Jamie still felt as if she was hiding a secret from the world; an ugly one. She was glad it was getting cold out; it gave her an excuse to wear long sleeves that would hide her seal. She found that Jude really didn't know that her mother even had it in the first place, and decided that if Layla didn't tell her father, then there must have been a reason, and kept quiet about it. Only Lucy knew, but she also never brought it up unless they were alone. So, dress fluttering behind her as she strode down the hallway, Jamie tried to focus and ground herself. Whatever she had been summoned for wouldn't mean anything good, so preparing herself would be in her best interest, especially when taking her father's irregular behavior into consideration.

Taking a deep breath, Jamie opened the door to her father's office after a giving it a soft knock. However, her steps faltered as his figure became clearer as she came closer, heart beating faster at the enraged expression that was twisting his face into a horrifying mask of anger. "Papa, you called for me?" she asked softly, scared of how he would answer. "Jamie. Do you have any idea of what you've done?!" Jude demanded, voice tense and tightly controlled as he attempted not to yell. Jamie flinched, taking a step backward, whimpering out a quiet and confused "no" in response. At this, his rage only seemed to grow. Jude slammed his hands onto his desk with a loud crash, scattering the piles of carefully organized papers that were now strewn across its surface. Jamie did not understand what he was saying as he shouted at her, his voice sharp and piercing, and black dots swam before her eyes as her vision became unfocused. Terror gripped at her, seizing her heart and brain, breath speeding out of her control as she cowered before the man who stood before her. This only made her father angrier, obvious by his abandonment of control, now bellowing at his daughter.

Still unsure of what she had done to incur such wrath, Jamie stumbled and fell to the floor. She sat there, shaking with fear and anxiety, tears pouring down her cheeks. Several minutes later, Jude had stopped yelling and was out of breath. Jamie risked a glance up at his face and was surprised to see a tired, defeated look there as he wiped his hand across it. "Jamie, you need to work harder. You need to be ready for when you will start helping me more with this business, and that needs to be your focus. No more wasting time on useless things like poetry and art; any attempt you make at it is pathetic anyway." Sitting back down heavily, he cleared the space in front of him, resting his elbows there before making one final statement. "Just go, and make sure to study hard. Do not disappoint me again. Oh, and don't be surprised when I start calling you by your first name, Grace, it sounds more sophisticated than that childish nickname anyways." Heartbroken and confused, Jamie stumbled to her feet, muttering a choked goodbye as she rushed out through the doorway, body trembling. She had never been so afraid of her father and would do everything that she could to keep that from happening ever again.

After the intense confrontation Jamie had with her father, she went back to her room only to find Lucy crying. Still sobbing herself, she rushed over and threw her arms around her sister, both breathing raggedly as they cried together. It took a while for them to calm down, but once they did, a serious conversation ensued. Jamie told her twin a little of what had happened with their father, and mostly conveyed her confusion and determination to make sure that nothing like that would happen anytime soon. Lucy, on the other hand, confessed that she had been crying because of how lonely she felt. Jamie was always so busy, and without Layla or their father present, the only person that she could spend time with was the mansion's staff. Feeling horrible for having spent enough time with her sister, Jamie promised that she would do what she could to make sure that Lucy wouldn't have to feel that way anymore.

The only problem was that between her now increasingly intense schedule, what with her studies and making sure that she spent time with Lucy, the only time that she truly had to herself was when she was supposed to be asleep. This meant that she was beginning to sleep less and less, spending her time writing, drawing, or reading. Not that she would have been able to fall asleep anyways... Jamie would have made music as well, but she already had time for that fit into her schedule during the day. Apparently, her father thought that it was a convenient skill to have, even if she didn't have very many opportunities to use it in public. Besides, she didn't want to accidentally wake up Lucy or anyone else who might have come across her or heard her from afar. The thing that was currently weighing the heaviest on her mind was the topic of what would happen for Christmas that year. Her father had mentioned being away for business for the couple weeks during which it would take place, and Jamie was worried about how Lucy would react. It would be their first Christmas without their mother, and to have Jude gone as well would be too much for either of them to bear.

As a result, Jamie confronted her father over his plans, hoping to be able to convince him to stay with them, as a family. He flat out refused. Jamie spent the next several minutes trying to convince him, giving every explanation and reason that she could think of, but nothing was working. Finally, after silence began to lapse, Jamie had an idea. If she offered something in return, to replace the time and work that would be lost...she might have a better chance. "Father, what if I did more publicity work? I could help make up some of the lost time that you would spend at home instead," she stated tentatively, searching Jude's face for a reaction. He sighed heavily, rubbing the bridge of his nose with one hand while the other was planted on his desk for balance. After taking a deep breath and straightening out his coat, her father responded testily. "If you are willing to put in a lot of work and effort with those publicity proposals that I gave you, then I might be able to consider staying for Christmas." Jamie's face lit up, hoping that maybe things would work out after all, before crashing again.

The proposals that he had given her...were all with people that she hated being around. It would be extremely taxing to even hold a simple conversation with them, let alone use whatever propaganda techniques that her father expected of her. But if dealing with all of that meant that her father would be there for Christmas...it would be worth it. At the very least, she would be doing it for Lucy. So, holding her head up high and looking her father square in the eye, Jamie spoke, "If that is what it takes, then I will do it." With a sharp nod, Jude acknowledged her agreement and began to talk through the details of how that would change both of their schedules. For the rest of the month, Jamie would be very busy- but not with anything that she enjoyed. By the end of the next week, however, things were going downhill quickly. What her father expected of her was completely unrealistic, and when you took into account her social anxiety, practically impossible. He wanted her to discuss and promote the Heartfilia Railways with sneering pompous women and leering older husbands, whose very presence was enough to spike her anxiety to the point where she would start shaking.

Because of this, another fight between father and daughter ensued, this time much worse than the first. Both Jamie and her father were shouting, her almost in tears, Jude on the verge of snapping. "You were the one who said you would do whatever it took to keep us together for Christmas, and only a week later you're going back on your word?!" He bellowed, towering over Jamie as he pointed his finger furiously in her face. She retorted that she was only asking for reasonable alterations when it happened...her father yelled in anger, gesturing wildly as he stormed even closer to his daughter, accidentally hitting her across the side of her head. Then, a shocked silence fell, surprise flickering over Jude's face briefly before hardening again into determination. "Leave, I'll discuss this more with you later. You will meet with Duke Everlue and his circle of supporters, or face the consequences. That is all." With a dismissive wave of his hand, her father turned and sat back down at his desk. Jamie was standing there, shocked still, clutching her head where he had hit her. He didn't even acknowledge what he did, let alone apologize. Tears finally escaping her eyes, she turned and ran out of her father's office, seeking refuge in the library once more.

Christmas had gone horribly, and the begging of the next year wasn't much better. Jamie shook her head, attempting to rid her thoughts of the dark tint that often seemed to accompany them, especially when she found that she was alone. Echoes of guilt and despair bounced around inside of her mind, relentless and achingly poignant. Her failure, her doubts, her insecurities...they threatened to swallow her whole. All these things as well as many mothers, each darker than the last, were crowded inside the lead box that sat at the bottom of the pit in Jamie's heart. Each new mistake, every single self-deprecating thought, they all were sent to that box, which grew heavier and heavier, volatile due to the large amount of emotions, thoughts, and ideas; all locked in that little lead box, sinking deeper and deeper as time went on. There was no one who could see the effect it had on her because out of the only two people who could truly understand or care, one was dead and the other, while physically close, was never truly there. Layla, her mother, and Lucy, her twin sister. The thought of her father did not even occur as a possible option; it was impossible.

Trigger Warning

Even if he did still love her, somewhere hidden inside, he would never be able to understand. Jamie snorted, shaking her head at the ludicrous thought. Her father, listen to her? No! Before Layla died, maybe, but now? She laughed hollowly at the thought, bitterness giving the sound a biting edge as she forced her focus back to the present, where her studies lay tauntingly in front of her. Jamie had to finish the assignment, and soon unless she wanted to face the wrath of her father...At first, it had just been scathing comments and disappointed angry stares, but now? All it took was one particularly irritating mistake on her part, and she would be left with bruises that lasted for days, hidden underneath her dresses and makeup. The first time he hit her had been accidental, but he still did not apologize. The second time, a couple days later, was no accident, and things only got worse from there.

While Jude was still careful enough to keep from doing anything that would have lasting damage, it didn't make the pure betrayal of it all sting any less. He was her father, for gods' sake! How- how could anyone even think of doing that to their child… it hurt. It hurt sosobad and was alwaystherenevergonewhywouldn'titjustleaveheralone and made her cryandcryandcutandscream...there was no relief to be found. So, she drowned herself in the tasks forced upon her, occasionally coming up for a breath of air by the means of music or writing or art… But even those things hurt her. After Jude had caught her drawing one day, instead of working on some random statistical paper, he yelled at her, lecturing about how art was a waste of time, and that it looked horrible anyway and the only way she would get anywhere in life would be off of what he had painstakingly built only to be treated so selfishly by his ungrateful daughter...it was a painful memory, one that caused her to hesitate before picking up a pen, doubt and guilt engulfing her.

Even so, Jamie refused to let any of that keep her from doing the things she loved, even if that meant staying up till 4 in the morning, hiding her sketchbook and journal. Not that she would have been able to sleep anyways; her insomnia kept her up till the ungodly hours of the morning, so at least she had something to fill her time with besides her racing thoughts...right? Jamie heaved a sigh; she had distracted herself again. It was hard to get anything done when the voice in your head spoke rapid-fire, refusing to ever shut up. Then, while her thoughts spun incessantly, her body sagged under the weight of everything she had to bear, exhausted. There was no relief to be found when even your very soul was against you, not to mention the rest of the world as she knew it. It hurt, endlessly.

The pain never left her; it only served to shred her even more, unrelenting. This needed to stopstopstopstop because it hurtpaincrystoptoomuchalltoomuchiwanttodie wait...did she really? Was Jamie actually willing to leave her sister and father behind, just as her mother had? As much as she wanted to deny the fact, she couldn't. Not when every time she looked out the window, she had to keep herself from sprinting over and throwing herself out of it, grinning as death rushed to greet her. She could not deny that she wanted to die no more than she could say that she did not miss her mother's presence every second of every day.

Warning end

Sorry if this chapter was a little too dark for anyone's taste! There will be more mentions of suicide, domestic violence, and self-harm later in the story as well, so if those are things you want to definitely avoid reading, I recommend reading something else. I will not change the plot of this story to satisfy each individual reader.

Please R&R, and have a wonderful rest of the week! ~SSA