Chapter 10
My friends and I gathered at the truck, I helped Lauren out and to the back of the truck, she was limping slightly. It was probably from running, she may have sprained it. "Pull down the tailgate." I said, hoping someone would. Bianca pulled down the gate quickly. Steph was sitting inside the camper shell asleep. "My ankle hurts." Lauren said "you probably sprained it when you fell." I said messing up her hair playfully. "No, it really hurts, ow, shit." She swore "we'll look at it in a little bit. Can you tell us how the hell you ended up here?" I asked.
Lauren took a deep breath before speaking "well, about a week after you all left Lily left with some supplies and never came back, Tyler used that to justify locking down the house, said we were losing resources." Lauren coughed twice. It took her a minute to get her breath again before continuing to tell us her story "a few days ago, Daniel, Steph, and I left the house. We snuck out and ran. Steph started leading us to Briones, here." She explained "dude, that house was on the other side of town, you all ran here?" Bianca questioned "where's Daniel?" Sam asked bluntly.
Lauren just shook her head. He hadn't made it. "We thought we were lost in the woods last night, we could barely stand. I think the act of stumbling was all that kept me on my feet." Lauren speculated. Lauren wiped sweat off of her forehead and took a few deep breaths. "When we got here this morning, we had no clue we'd run right into you guys." Lauren said. Sam walked away and came back with a duffel bag "let's get a look at that ankle now." Sam said "finally! This thing hurts like a BITCH!" Lauren said scooting to the edge of the tailgate and dangling her leg over the edge.
"Tobin, can you go stand watch?" Sam requested as she unzipped the duffel bag "yeah, see you guys later." Tobin said as he walked away. "Bianca, you can help me with this, Carl, can you be on hand just in case?" Sam asked, I nodded and stood by. "It's hella god to see you guys again." Lauren said "good to see you too, we thought we'd never see you again." Bianca replied. "Okay, which ankle is it?" Sam asked "the left one." Lauren answered with a heavy breath. She wiped sweat off her forehead again, and coughed three times.
Sam reached down and rolled up Lauren's left jeans leg and jumped back. "Oh shit!" she exclaimed "what the fuck dude?" Bianca questioned "what's wrong, what is it?" Lauren asked nervously trying to lift her leg and see what the fuss was about. Her ankle was black and red, it was dripping dark blood and her skin at the bite site was ripped and torn. "Oh no, no, no, no!" Lauren muttered as her eyes widened, she turned pale as a ghost. "Fuck!" I cursed, hitting the side of the truck with my palm. She was a kid, she didn't fucking deserve this! She shouldn't be doomed to die and come back!
"Lauren, just calm down, let's get a tourniquet on your leg." Sam said as she regained composure. "What the hell's going on?" Nathan asked walking over "it's alright, just stay back dude." Bianca said holding out a cautioning hand. "The ankle's worse than we thought it'd be." Sam lied. I looked around camp to make sure no one could see Lauren's ankle. Next to Lauren in the truck Steph was still asleep, but she wouldn't be asleep forever. "Wrap that ankle, and get her into a tent." I commanded "let me tourniquet this first." Sam said as she grabbed a spare shirt from the med-bag and tied it around Lauren's thigh. Then she quickly went to work wrapping her ankle. Every now and then Lauren would wince in pain of cough, but soon enough her ankle was wrapped.
Bianca and Sam quickly helped Lauren to a tent. "Alright, this is bad." Sam said as she walked out of the tent. "Let's gather the group together. I'll tell them." I said "no offense, but I don't think you should be the one. You bailed on us, you aren't the most trusted one here. I'll do it." Sam said sternly. She was wrong, I didn't bail, I left alone so there wouldn't be conflict. They saw how Tyler was, if I had left with all their knowledge I would have caused a huge power struggle.
"You just guard Lauren and Bianca." Sam said as she walked to the center of camp. I stood closer to the opening of the tent. "It's okay, maybe we can treat it. Or find some way to-to do something." Bianca said "yeah, I hope soCCOOAAHHHGG COOAHHGG!" Lauren muttered before coughing loudly. I put my hand to my knife and stood ready. "We'll find some way to deal with this." Bianca reassured. They had been good friends during all of this from what I'd seen. No one deserved this, to lose their friend or to die so young.
"Alright, I want everyone gathered around. I've got some bad news." Sam said, the group gathered and stood silently. "Well, you know Lauren and Steph have just arrived, sadly, Lauren was bitten. It's on her ankle and her leg is tourniqueted. She probably won't last the day. If anyone here wants to say goodbye, now's the time. We're going to make her last few hours as easy as they can be. And if anyone can think of a way to save her speak up." Sam said solemnly. Everyone was silent for a moment "the only thing we can do to help her is put her down. We can't have a bite victim in camp." Mark said.
"What the hell Mark, I thought you'd have more sympathy for her, especially after-um, what happened." Tobin exclaimed before trailing off. "Andrea wasn't bit on the ankle, she died quickly, Lauren's gonna suffer! If none of you are gonna be merciful and end it then I will." Mark said walking towards the tent. I stepped in front of the tent and stared him down "out of the way." Mark demanded "no." I defiantly replied. "She's gonna suffer! You'll let her?" Mark asked "let the others say goodbye. It's fair. We wait for Steph to wake up and say goodbye." I said as Mark grew closer.
"We might not have that long!" Mark said angrily. I grabbed his shoulder and held him at arm's length "we wait." I said drawing my knife. He stared me in the eyes, it was as if he were challenging me "you won't do it." He said "try me." I growled, tightening my grip on his shoulder. I kept my eyes locked with his, if I backed down, if I looked away, I would have lost. "Mark! Calm down!" Sam ordered as she walked over.
I heard a small metallic click Click and realized she had a gun trained on Mark. "you will back off." Sam said as she pressed the gun to his temple. He scowled at me and let out an angry, heavy breath. "Fine." He muttered "what? What was that?" Sam asked "I said, Fine. I'll back down." he struggled to say. Mark pulled free from my grasp and stared angrily at Sam. I waited for Mark to walk away before speaking "what's with him? When did he get so angry?" I asked.
"He's been depressed, I haven't seen him like this before." Sam said "listen, I hate to sound like a soulless jerk here, but he may be right. Maybe we should put Lauren down." Tobin said interjecting his opinion. "I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear you Tobin." I said "hey, come on man, if Lauren's suffering we'd be cruel to let that go on." He argued. "It should be Lauren's choice." Sam said as she put her pistol in its holster. While Tobin and Sam debated over what to do with Lauren I walked over to the tent and unzipped the door quickly.
Bianca quickly lifted her gun and aimed it at me "whoa whoa, I'm not here to hurt her." I said "what are you here to do?" Bianca asked "I'm here to ask her what she wants." I answered. Lauren had turned pale and her eyes were bloodshot and had grey bags under them. "Lauren, I need to ask you something." I said softly "what, can't you see I'm busy?" she joked before breaking down into a coughing fit. "Lauren, do you want us to, end the pain? Or do you want to try to push through and see if you get better?" I asked. Lauren took a few shallow breaths and closed her eyes for a moment.
"Listen, you don't have a whole lot of time to make this decision." I said. This was the worst thing I'd ever done, I was forcing a friend to make an impossible choice. Lauren could either die soon, or die later. Either way she would be in pain, it was just the amount of pain she was deciding. Sam and Tobin were still debating what to do, Max and Jackie had joined the debate from the sound of it. Bianca and I were silent, we couldn't discuss this, I guess for whatever reasons we didn't feel it was right to talk about it.
I'd never seen a person bitten before, at least one who survived this long. This was an inevitable first for anyone who survived I guess. It was just unfair! Not that I had to see someone die this way, but that everyone here had to see it again, they'd already seen Andrea die, they didn't deserve to watch that again. "I, I want to end it." Lauren said as she choked back tears. "Do you want to say goodbye to everyone?" I asked, she nodded affirmatively. I sighed heavily before walking out of the tent.
"She wants to say goodbye and-and end it." I declared, interrupting the group's debate. They all looked at me blankly "how do you know that?" Tobin asked. "I asked her." I answered angrily "how could you all discuss her fate and not ask Lauren what she wanted?" I asked, looking each of them in the eyes. Max looked down to the ground in shame, Sam crossed her arms and had an expression disappointment on her face. Her disappointment was probably in herself. Tobin put a hand to his forehead and shook his head, and Jackie showed no emotions, no tells or hints of what she was thinking.
"Fucking pathetic." I muttered as I walked over to the truck. I reached into the camper shell and tried to shake Steph awake. She didn't stir, all she did was mumble and shift her shoulders, she must've been exhausted. I tried to wake Steph one more time, but got the same result. I didn't want to explain why Lauren wasn't there when she woke up. DAMNIT!
"Alright everyone, we need to decide who's going to end Lauren's, uh, condition. Does anyone volunteer?" Sam asked. I looked at everyone's reactions, Max and Tobin sat down to show they were abstaining. "I won't do it." Nathan said as he walked over. Jackie silently slipped away, not wanting to take part in this decision. I looked to Mark expecting him to volunteer, but he looked away and kept his head down. Fucking coward. "So Carl, that leaves us." Sam said "or Bianca." I added "no, we can't make her do it." Sam said quickly.
Sam and I each looked at the other for what seemed like hours, trying to see if the other would step up. We locked eyes for a moment, then she looked away "I-I'll do it." She quickly said. She hurried nervously to her tent and disappeared within it. We all stood silent for a few moments "you should all say goodbye to Lauren. When you're done we'll do it." I said before sitting on the tailgate of the truck. I sharpened my hatchet with my sharpener. It was all I could do, sharpen my blades, unstring my bow, and clean my pistol. I had to be ready, in case creeps attack, or other people attack, or someone in the group tries to kill Lauren before she was ready to go.
One by one everyone went into the tent and said a few words, except for Mark who stood on the other side of camp silently. As the last of the others left Lauren's tent I walked towards it and stepped inside. "You again?" Lauren said playfully, but weakly "yeah, me again." I said, feigning a reassuring smile. "I wanted to say I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough. If I'd released that arrow sooner you'd be alright." I apologized, as I spoke I took one of her small hands in both of my hands and held it tightly. "Don't blame yourself. Shit happens. Sometimes you can't do anything about it." Lauren managed to whisper.
"But I could have-" "no, you couldn't've. What happened, happened." Lauren muttered "since when did you get all philosophical and wise?" I asked trying to make a joke. "Dying will do that to you." Lauren replied before coughing. "This is goodbye then, Bianca, come on out when you're done." I said as I released her hand and stepped out of the tent. I sighed heavily and walked back over to the truck. "So, is she ready?" Tobin asked "Bianca's just saying goodbye. When she's done then Sam'll do it." I said.
We waited for at least five minutes before Bianca slowly stepped out of the tent, her eyes were red and she kept her face down. "Alright. It's time." Sam said as she walked towards the tent. "Sam wait, a gunshot's too loud. We-I hate to say it but you may have to use something else." I said solemnly. "I know." Sam replied as she unsheathed her knife. I followed Sam into the tent and I sat down next to Lauren. She had her eyes closed, but she was still breathing.
Sam held the knife against Lauren's temple and sat perfectly still. She began to shake slightly, and her breaths were shallow. "Sam. Are you alright?" I asked "no. I-I thought I was. I don't know-thought I could do this but now, I don't think I can." Sam said. Damnit! How could Sam do this, how could she back out "Fine. Damnit." I said unsheathing my knife. Lauren continued to draw short shallow breaths. I put my knife up to her head and took a deep breath "I'm so sorry." I said before shoving the knife forward. It made a sklsh noise and Lauren drew a quick harsh breath.
I yanked my knife from Lauren's head and sighed. I sheathed my knife and quickly left the tent. Sam followed me, we walked around to the far side of the truck. I grabbed Sam's arm and pulled her towards me "what the hell was that? You said you'd do it! But you made me do it! You made me kill her!" I said, not bothering to stop the tears. "You made me do it!" I repeated "Carl, Carl stop! Please. Please stop." Sam begged as she pulled free from my grasp. "You didn't have to do it!" Sam said "you didn't have to kill her." "She didn't want to become a creeper! She didn't want to come back! We had a responsibility to make sure she didn't come back, you took on that responsibility!" I cried.
"Why? Why couldn't you do it?" I asked. Sam didn't answer, she looked at me with tearful eyes. Why wouldn't she say something? Anything! How could she stay silent? I looked around and noticed the others standing at a distance. Each of them stared at me with fear. "WHAT?" I yelled trying to get a response, but they just looked at me blankly. "SAY SOMETHING!" I demanded as I looked from person to person. "Carl, calm down." Bianca said timidly "what? Calm down? I just killed my friend. Someone who didn't deserve to die! She was alive! She wasn't a creep, she was alive!" I angrily said.
The others continued to look at me with fear and confusion. "Fuck this. I need to go on a run." I said as I walked to the back of the truck and gathered my gear. "Carl, let me come with you." Nathan said as I grabbed my backpack. I didn't reply, but I didn't object either. After I had all my things I began walking to the woods. I quickly got to the tree line and began moving through the woods. Nathan hurried to catch up to me as I walked through the woods. I had my hatchet and my knife in hand. I'd left my bow back at camp. I heard a rustling to my right and turned to see a creeper "Carl look-" Nathan began to say before I swung my hatchet and smashed its head open, I didn't even break stride. The things blood and brains splattered onto the nearby trees and brush.
Nathan said something under his breath as we walked. "Carl, what's wrong?" Nathan asked, I didn't answer "come on. Talk to me." Nathan demanded. I stopped walking and turned to face Nathan "okay, I'm pissed, I'm pissed at Sam for not having the guts and doing what Lauren wanted. I'm pissed at everyone for treating Lauren like she wasn't there and not asking her what she wanted, and I'm pissed that I had to kill her!" I yelled, not caring if any creeps heard me. "So, that's what wrong." I said trying to sound calm. "I'm not going to say you shouldn't be pissed Carl, but you need to work your way through it and not stay angry. Because then you're no better than Tyler." Nathan said. We stood in silence for a few moments. He was right. Even if I didn't like it he was right. "Let's raid some of the houses" I said as I began walking again. Nathan followed a few feet behind me…
I struggled with the rope tied around my wrists. I was tied to a heavy table, my hands were each tied behind my back, which was the most difficult thing. My ankles were also tied together, to get them untied I would have to first free my hands. "Stop struggling. Do you even know where you'd go after you got through those ropes?" Phil asked "yeah, I'd find Carl and he'd kick your asses." I replied. Camon entered the room and chuckled "Carl, the guy you ditched, and stole his horse along with most of his stuff, that guy's gonna be at all happy to see you and help you kill us? You are something Ellie." He said as he began to change the dressing on his face.
"He-he'd-" I stuttered "that's what I thought. Now can you please tell me where you two were going?" Camon asked as he began re-wrapping his injury. He made sure to face away from me as he treated his wound. "Damnit girl, tell us what we want to know and we can let you go." Phil said as he paced back and forth with a crowbar in his hand. The way he held it made me think he was eager to use the damn thing. He was constantly shifting his grip on it and seemed to be trying to find a nice balance point. They had no intention of letting me live; that was obvious.
Phil but his left hand to his shoulder and rubbed it "how's the shoulder? Still hurt?" I asked "you love pushing buttons don't you?" Phil asked. "Listen, we want to find Carl and kill him because he took my eye, I'm not gonna try to sound like I'm doing a great service for mankind. But if you tell me where he I'll just let you go, after I've killed Carl." Camon said as he finished dressing his eye. "While Camon was catching you, I was off scouting. I found a little kid. Carl killed his dad. We're taking him in. so, do you still want to help Carl?" Phil asked. He kneeled down to look me in the eye when he did, he was trying to get a dramatic effect or some crap. "I don't believe you." I replied "I wouldn't expect you to believe us. So we brought the kid, maybe he can talk some sense into you." Camon said as he opened the door…
Nathan and I avoided the houses that were near the creek, and moved further into the neighborhood. We were in a small house, it was a two bedroom home. I looked at the pictures on the wall and saw an Asian man in a military style uniform holding a rifle proudly. "This guy was military." I said, Nathan glanced at the picture "not American military, we have a different uniform, also look at the knife." Nathan said. I looked closer at the picture and saw a large knife on his hip. "I think that's a kukri." I said.
"Oh! This guy was a Gurkha!" I said "the Nepalese soldiers right?" Nathan asked "yeah, I remember seeing them on a history channel special once." I said as I continued to move through the house. I began checking drawers for supplies. I ignored silverware and most dishcloths. I reached up into the cupboards and looked for food, there was some canned stuff and cereal. I opened the cereal boxes and stuffed the bags into my pack and then set the cans in. I quickly moved to the next room, the bedroom. I began opening drawers and finding clothes, in other drawers I would find toiletries, which I took. I came to a drawer with some medals inside it. I had only opened it partially, I fully opened it on a total guess and was ecstatic to see what I'd found.
"Nathan come check this out!" I called as I reached into the drawer and pulled a large knife out. "What is it?" Nathan asked "I found the Kukri." I said "really?" Nathan questioned "yeah, and by the way, dibs." I answered holding up the kukri. It was sheathed, but it still had its distinctive shape. The black curved at a forward angle. I unsheathed it and inspected the blade, at the base of the blade there was a notch "what's that for?" Nathan asked "it's to stop blood from reaching your hand." I said "happy." He replied. The handle was wooden and it fit comfortably in my hand. There were two smaller knives in the sheath, I forgot what they were called but I knew they'd be useful.
I set the kukri down and put my hatchet away, then I strapped the kukri sheath onto my belt. "Let's go pick the next few houses and go back." Nathan said "fine. I-I'm just not too eager to go back there." I said. "I know you're pissed. You've just gotta give it time, it'll go away." Nathan said "no, what I'm pissed about won't. You guys couldn't do what Lauren asked. You couldn't follow through with stuff." I said "it's the first time we've had that happen. When Andrea died it was, well, a bit different." Nathan explained.
"What happened? I know I should have been there and I wasn't, but I need to know what happened." I said. Nathan sighed heavily and sat down in a nearby chair "well, it was our first day out of the house. We were trying to find the stables but we couldn't. We tried cutting through the woods and when she was going past a tree this creep came out of nowhere and bit her. The bite was on her neck so she bled to death in a matter of seconds." Nathan explained. He got through the entire explanation without breaking, no tears, nothing. How could he do that? What was his secret?
It seemed as though Andrea death was now striking me. Her absence back at camp hadn't really brought that home, but now after hearing how it happened it just suddenly hit me. It seemed so strange, I knew she was dead, but I hadn't accepted it, not until now. Who else could be dead? Ellie? Ian? Dad? I had no way of knowing who was alive anymore.
Weeks ago…
"So, what day is it?" Andrea asked "good question. I'm gonna go with Tuesday." I said confidently. Andrea nodded and grinned a little. "It's Wednesday." She said "really? How do you know?" I asked curiously. I had quickly lost track of what day it was. "I never lost track." She replied. "nice." I commented "so how long can we stay here?" Andrea asked "I don't know, I think we should get going in a few days. We need to get to a better place." I answered. We stood in silence for a few minutes, and it wasn't an awkward silence it was a natural, calm silence. "What if things never go back to normal, what should we do?" I asked curiously.
Andrea paused for a moment. She clearly wanted to put more than a little thought into her answer. "We should go north. We can go to a national park and find a remote forest service cabin. Then we can wait it out." she said. That sounded good to me, it just felt right. "I like that plan." I replied giving a smile. "When we leave here, we should stop by grizzly peak. We'll get one last look at the bay." Andrea suggested. I'd been up to grizzly peak before, it was a great view of the bay area, and I'd always felt the place was serene. I could always gather my thoughts up there. "That'd be nice." I said looking off into the hills.
The present...
"Carl, you alright?" Nathan asked "yeah. I was just- never mind." I said as I sat down. "Come on. You never had trouble talking out your thoughts before. What's wrong?" Nathan asked sternly. "Fine, I just realized that I don't know if my family, or anyone I care about is alive. The only people I know are alive are the people in the group." I explained. Nathan nodded a few times "I get that. I worry about my family every day. It makes sense to worry." He said. I nodded in agreement.
"So, who's Ellie? You mentioned her when we found you, but you haven't told us who she is." Nathan said, probing for information. "Ellie's my ex. Not just because she stole my horse." I answered "before all this we dated. We broke up 'cause our relationship was kinda one sided. If that makes any sense." "What do you mean one sided?" Nathan asked "it revolved around her. I had to change all my habits, and bend my life to suit her. If she was free Saturday we hung out Saturday. Her plans always overwrote mine. Fool me once and shame on her, fool me a second time and I'm a fucking idiot." I said, I stood up and grabbed my pack.
"Let's get out of here. I want to get some more supplies before we go back." I said "wait, you mean to tell me you and this Ellie girl were together for weeks and you two didn't, uh, go back to how you were?" Nathan asked curiously as he followed me out of the room. I stopped mid-step and paused. Ellie and I had been close, I thought she and I were-no, don't be a moron I thought. "No, we were just friends." I lied. "You seemed pretty pissed for you two just being friends." Nathan commented as we walked out of the house. "She stole my horse. And Boxer was a good horse." I replied.
"I'm gonna get the whole story outta you sometime. You can bet on that." Nathan said "sorry, but, uuuhhh no. you won't." I joked as I walked towards another house. We cleared the next house and began walking back to camp. As we walked through the woods we kept looking around, we didn't want to get snuck up on by any creeps. "Carl, I need to know that before we get into camp you're not going to be a problem. Are you going to be a problem?" Nathan asked me. "I'm not going to be a problem. I promise." I replied as we walked into the field.
I couldn't afford to hinder the group by being angry at them. If we didn't work together we'd be dead. But I was still mad at them. Next time there was a hard choice for everyone to make, if they couldn't then I would make it, and I wouldn't feel bad. I had to be able to make the tough choices. I wish that these people could make the hard decisions, they'd be ready for what was sure to come. It wasn't going to get any easier from here on in. Life is only going to get more difficult. It was never going back to how it was, never.