Thank you for the comments, as always =D
Angst filled... but progress... or a decline, which ever way you want to look at it =P
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Chapter Ten
"What did you just say to me?" Her face almost turns a shade of purple, and I know I've pissed her off big time,
"You heard me, look at you, your fucking furious..."
"You're pissing me off that's why"
"No, you're furious 'cause I brought her back up her, why can't you just admit it?" She takes a deep breath but I simply shake my head, "I'm not gonna keep having this conversation with you, ok" I lift my hands up, completely defeated, "I'm not gonna keep arguing with you, I can't take anymore"
"You can't take anymore? That's fucking rich" She laughs, "I have to see you every day, I can't stop thinking about that fucking night in the toilets, I can't stop picturing it, I can't stop feeling how I felt, and you can't take anymore" She laughs again, her voice shaky, "I relive that heartache over and over again"
"I'm sorry" Now she shakes her head,
"That doesn't quite cover the damage you've done"
"There is nothing else I can say or do, what do you want me to say?"
"Nothing, I don't want anything"
"You still care" I say quietly, "Otherwise why are we arguing?" She shakes her head again, her tongue peaks out, licking her lip as she looks away,
"Whatever Emily" She turns and walks away, but I reach out, I grab her hand, stopping her, "Let me go" She says, her voice weak, "Emily" She warns, barely any strength there,
"No, this isn't over" She turns around and before I can even say anything else my back hits the wall, my mouth opens in shock as she approaches me, her eyes so full of hatred, of pain that I'm scared, I'm scared of what's coming.
"This was over the second you left town. You were such a coward you didn't even stick around, you didn't bother to see if I was ok, you didn't even care, don't give me all this bullshit that you do because if you did you would have stuck around and faced the cards you were dealt, but running was the easy option." She practically shouts, "You have no right to tell me that this isn't over, trust me, it so is. You have no idea what I've been through, you have no idea how I was, I'm just getting my life back on track and here you come, waltzing in messing with my head" My body stays fused to the wall as she hails all this down on me, I need it, my eyes stare into hers, and I feel a tear threaten. I swallow, trying to get rid of it, but it doesn't go anywhere. I try to speak, I try to say anything, even a pathetic apology would do, but instead I stare, I stare at the person she's now become, and that's when I see it... a change. Her tense body relaxes a little, her eyes soften and as she's looking at me now the hate disappears. My stomach flips as I glance down at her lips. I can't stop myself.
But she does the same. She looks down at my lips, and then back up to my eyes. I see her leaning in slightly, her eyes looking at my lips again. My stomach does somersaults as she gets closer, but with one warm breath brushing against my moist lips she's walking away, her hand ruffles through her hair and she curses under her breath. "Fuck sake"
I step off the wall and watch, watch as she struggles with herself, I feel an immense feeling of guilt wash over me, but a split second later I feel as if a spectator, watching myself debating what I'm going to do about it. Naomi paces down the hallway, cursing to herself, her hand still messing with her hair. I feel myself move, but I can't stop. I can't stop myself walking over to her, with such speed that I shock even myself. As she turns she sees me coming, she doesn't have time to respond as the tables turn, her back is thrust against the wall but there is no hesitation this time. I attack her with my lips. My hands erratic. She doesn't fight me off, no instead she's the first to deepen the kiss. Her hands lift up, resting on my face before her arms pull my head closer, her tongue forcefully playing with mine.
She moans into my mouth as my hands stray to her hips. My body pressing into hers fully. She groans into my mouth, her warm breath washing over me.
All the old feelings that I used to get when I kissed her come flooding back tenfold, I feel as if I'm about to faint. My knees feel weak as I push her harder into the wall, feeling every single inch of her body with my shaking hands. My stomach has completely left me, it's so numb from the amount of butterflies flying around it. My skin tingles from where she's touched me and I just feel this huge bubble of warmth surround me as she groans into my mouth again.
I can't even comprehend as I'm being thrown across the room, her hands all over me as she pushes me up against the wall opposite, pictures fly off the wall as she kisses me with such passion, passion that I've never experienced before. Her lips leave mine as she kisses my neck, biting down so hard that I can feel small droplets of blood come out of my skin, and as she kisses me hard again I taste my blood. I grimace in pain but groan with satisfaction at the same time.
But suddenly she stops kissing me, and as I open my eyes she's at the other side of the room, she looks the epitome of grief, of guilt as her darkened eyes look to mine. Her hands lifts up to her swollen lips, her teeth gently gnaw at her thumbnail. "Don't ever do that to me again" She says, "I love Jimmy, I'm with Jimmy. That can never happen again, understand?" Her voice is emotionless, she stares at me, but she's not really looking at me, she's looking through me, I swallow all the emotions that I'm feeling, and with one broken nod I agree.
I physically cannot speak, I have no energy left in me, I have no energy left in me to argue with her. She's right, that should've never happened, I shouldn't have done that... I stand motionless as she disappears into Jimmy's room, slamming the door behind her. I stare at the wood for a few seconds before I wake myself out of my reverie. My mind is still all over the place after that kiss. I want so badly to go into the room and do it again, but I can't, I can never do that again, not while she's with Jimmy, my best friend... who's due home anytime now. I pick the pictures up off the floor, putting them back in their usual place. I walk to the kitchen, my mind is a complete haze as I lean against the breakfast bar.
I can't think, and as my tongue licks my lips I can still taste her, I can still taste my blood. My phone rings in my bag, as I grab it I feel completely and utterly terrible, 'I'm home, I had a really great time, I hope we can do again x' I feel the tears stream down my face.
What a fucking mess.
My shaky arms reach for the cupboard, grabbing a glass I fill it with water and take it to my room. As I open the door, the front door opens and Jimmy walks in, "Ah, you're back" He smiles widely, and I feel like crying again, "How'd it go?"
"Can we talk tomorrow, I'm exhausted" I say, knowing that my eyes are puffy,
"Hey" He stops me as I'm about to walk into my room, "What happened? Is everything ok?" His eyes are so full of concern that it takes everything in me to stop myself breaking down,
"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine" I plaster a smile on my face, "I'm just really tired"
"Ok, babes" he still looks worried, but I walk into my room, and as I'm closing the door he's still stood there, "Night"
"Night" I say, closing the door. As I know that he can no longer see me I break down, my legs no longer strong enough to hold my weight, I fall to the floor. I drop the glass of water, my hands no longer able to hold it. My hand lifts up, covering my mouth as I cry.
I can't take this anymore...
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I'm not at work til later so I use this morning to lie in bed for as long as I possibly can. Charlie texts me, but I can't bring myself to answer her. I look at the clock, 12:10pm. There's a small knock on my door, and then without waiting for a reply Jimmy walks in smiling, a steaming cup of tea in on hand and some breakfast in the other. "Morning" He sits down on my bed as he hands me the cup of tea. I sit up and take it, taking a sip,
"Morning" I smile sadly, "Thanks" He passes me the toast,
"So..."
"It went well" I say, my body and mind still exhausted from last night's events.
"Why so sad?" He frowns,
"Just having one of those days, you know" I shrug, and he smiles sympathetically, I lean over and place my cup of tea on the bedside table, and as I turn back to him he's smiling widely.
"Must have gone well" He grins, and I frown. He points to his neck and I panic. "That looks nasty" He grins wider, my hand lifts up, covering it, and just the slightest touch to it and I'm wincing in pain, "Painful?" He asks, and I nod, "You don't waste any time huh?"
"It got a little heated"
"I can see... did you do the dirty deed?"
"No"
"Ah, too bad" He coughs anxiously, meaning he has something to ask me, but daren't,
"What?" I take a bite of my toast,
"Did Naomi seem... I mean... Was something wrong with her last night when you got back?"
"I don't know, why? What's happened?" I panic, but he doesn't notice,
"She's just been... weird"
"In what way?" I take another bite, my heart beating a thousand times a minute,
"Subdued" he clears his throat, looking to the door, "She doesn't seem interested in anything... let alone me"
"No, I didn't notice anything, I'm sure it'll be fine"
"maybe she's just having her period" He giggles, hiding the fear in his eyes. But I still catch it.
"Maybe" I smile sadly to him, "Just leave her for a while, I'm sure she'll get over whatever's wrong"
"Thanks" He smiles, "I'm gonna go clean the bathroom... take my mind off it" I giggle, he always was a weird one,
"Ok" As he walks out I put the toast down... I'm already hurting him...
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So it begins...