I don't own the song Is This Love by Whitesnake. Well, this is the last chapter everyone! I spent weeks on this chapter trying to make it just the way I wanted it but it still sucks, but I'll let you be the judge of that! Please review!!
"Oh, my God. What did I do? What am I going to do?" Ross nervously mumbled to himself as he awkwardly stumbled about the city, heading for the apartment building. He was ashamed of what he'd done, the way he'd treated Rachel. He hated himself for his selfishness. He couldn't believe how he'd acted, and didn't know how he could possibly expect Rachel to understand. Looking back on it all, he wondered if she could ever forgive him.
He begged and pleaded persistently for days despite her tears. He saw her pain, but it didn't matter. He looked right past it. He was so concerned with himself, so infatuated with the idea of calling her his own, he didn't even take the time to think about how she felt. He loved her too much to let her go. At that time, he didn't realize that love was all about wanting that person t be happy more than yourself. Now he knew this, but it may be too late.
He circled the block time and time again desperately scouring his mind for words that could justify his behavior and get his friend back. Finally, he decided there was nothing in the world he could say to make what he did okay. He just had to tell her how sorry he was and hope she could find it in her heart to forgive him. He finally brought himself to enter the building and ran up the stairs, still torturing himself with his thoughts.
"Oh, Rach, sorry. I wasn't paying attention. Thank God you two are here. I really need to talk to you." He accidentally bumped into her in the hall.
'Well, actually, Ross, we have dinner reservations in fifteen minutes." She replied coldly, avoiding eye contact. She wanted so much not to be mad at him, to be able to put this whole thing behind them, to have her friend back. She knew he loved her, that he never meant to hurt her, but he did. And it still hurt too much to forgive that easily, no matter how much she wished she could.
"Oh." He paused, feeling the jealousy pierce his heart. "Well, it can wait."
"Ross, you know, I think we all have some things to work out. Why don't you come with us to dinner and we can talk." Joey suggested. He could see the heartbreak in Ross' eyes, knowing all too well how that felt, and knowing the last thing he wanted was to be alone. Joey knew he felt horrible about losing Rachel and for how he acted, and wanted to give him his chance to make it right.
"Oh, I don't want to intrude on your date." Ross said.
"Ross, please." Joey insisted. Ross nodded. Rachel felt like she could scream. She assumed Ross just wanted to beg for her to take him back again. She was far too angry to realize that he wanted to apologize.
The three of them sat there, desperately waiting for their food to arrive so they could just get it over with and go home. They sat there in silence, waiting for someone to be bold and say something.
Ross must have tried a thousand times that night to just spit the words out, but just couldn't do it. Every time he saw Rachel's face, all he could see was the grief he had caused her. He tried to convince himself that he was just waiting for the right moment, but deep down he knew he was waiting for the moment he could finally get a word out of his mouth at all. The whole thing seemed pointless to him. What good would apologizing do?
Joey sat there, looking at Rach, then Ross. Rach, then Ross. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and he was waiting for the full fledged brawl to break out. He could see how angry Rachel was, he could almost feel it.
Rachel tried to contain her anger which just seemed to grow with every glance at him. She hated him for just sitting there, for being such a coward. For not even saying what he come and ruined their first date to say. He looked so pathetic, so hurt, she almost felt sorry for him. She just wanted him to say anything.
"Rach, I just, I just want to tell you that I'm sorry." He finally broke the silence. "I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for coming back into your life. I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry for everything, Rach. Everything. I wish I could take it all back. I know now that you and I are over. I can learn to accept hat. But I know that I could never accept the fact that you and I will never be friends again. I know what I did was horrible, but I will do anything if you and I can just go back to being friends. I know I couldn't live without having you as a friend." He admitted genuinely.
"Wh-wha---I thought you were coming here to beg for me to take you back again." She was completely taken by surprise.
"Trust me, if I thought it would do any good…" He laughed a little. I will always love you, Rach, But that's just not enough. So all I want is for you to be happy."
"Really? Do you really mean that?" She asked.
"I do." He admitted, looking into her eyes, taking one last look at what he knew he would miss for the rest of his life. She immediately flew out of her chair and yanked him into a hug.
"Thank-you." She tried to hold back her tears. "Thank you so much for understanding." She cried, resting her head on his shoulder.
"No...no, thank-you for not hating me." He joked. Joey smiled, overjoyed that it was finally over. He could see how upset Rachel was before, and knew with Ross and her friends again, she would be just fine.
"Joey, I owe you an apology too." Ross said once he and Rachel finally parted from their long overdue embrace.
"Ross, no you don't. I understand."
"Yes, I do" He insisted. "I treated you just as badly as I did her. I forgot for a minute there that we were friends and I'm sorry." He apologized. Joey hugged him as a sign of forgiveness and consolation.
"So are you okay?" Rachel asked, just to make sure they could now put this whole thing behind them.
"Yeah." He smiled in confirmation. He felt better just knowing he had his friend back.
"I mean…about…this?" She put her arm around Joey. She was a little worried still that their relationship might not go over very well with him. She knew better than anyone that it took time to get over someone, and she thought seeing them with someone else must be unbearable.
"Yeah." He lied, forcing a smile. He knew he could eventually manage to get over her completely, but it would take time, a lot of time. He didn't want to upset her anymore, so he felt it best to just hide his true feelings until he really could say he was over her. He had had plenty of experience hiding feelings, he did it for ten years with Rachel.
That was it. That was why he couldn't get over her. He had devoted ten years of his life to being completely in love with her. He could barely remember life without loving Rachel. He didn't know how to live without loving her. But now, for the first time, he knew the obsession must end. Now he knew for a fact that Rachel didn't love him, and he couldn't go on like that. He couldn't love someone who didn't love him. Not anymore.
"So we're all friends again right?" Joey asked in conformation.
"Yeah, we are." Rachel smiled at Ross.
"So you guys want to go see a movie after dinner?" Joey suggested.
"Sure that would be great." Rachel replied after Ross nodded.
Ross sat there in the theater for two hours almost in tears. He knew it was immature and pathetic and senseless to feel this way, but there was no stopping it. He just wanted to stop loving her, to be able to move on. That, was what scared him. What if he could never love anyone else?
"Hey, Ross, you wanna come to our place for a while, there's a South Park marathon on tonight!" He offered excitedly.
"Oh, please, Ross, save me!" Rachel joked.
"No thanks." He replied half-heartedly.
"Are you okay?" Rachel asked. She knew the answer to that, but it hurt her to know how much pain she was causing him and that there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn't force herself to love him.
"I'm fine. I just need to be alone for a while." He reported.
"Okay, but if you need us, feel free to come over." Joey offered.
"Thanks."
"See you tomorrow!" They said in unison as they entered the apartment building, wrapped in each other's arms.
Ross walked for what seemed like days, just feeling sorry for himself, not knowing what to do about it. He hadn't the slightest idea where he was heading, he just didn't want to go home, not yet. He eventually reached a small convenience store and decided to stop in for coffee. He walked over to the coffee machine and grabbed a Styrofoam cup. He was just reaching for the French Vanilla Cappuccino when another cup met his.
"Oh, sorry. Go ahead." A woman's voice offered.
"No that's ok, you go." Ross insisted. The woman smiled at him and poured her coffee.
When Ross was leaving the store, he didn't notice that same woman fumbling around in her purse and swung the door open in her face, causing her to drop her cappuccino.
"Oh, my God. I'm sorry." He apologized.
"That's ok. My fault…shouldn't have been standing in front of the door."
"Let me buy you another coffee. " He suggested.
"Oh, you don't have to."
"French Vanilla, right?" He joked.
"How'd you guess?" He laughed. When he returned with the coffee, they sat at the back of the store, where they were tables.
"Ross Geller." He introduced himself as they sat down.
"Kerri Walker."
"That name sounds familiar, do I know you?"
"I doubt it, I just moved here form Reno."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, my first day at work, which was a nightmare by the way." She laughed at her own misfortune.
"Oh, what is it that you do?" He asked.
"I teach over at the college a few blocks away."
"That's where I know you from!" Ross shouted. She looked at him questioningly. "I work at that college. A friend told me about you."
"Great! Now I can say I know someone at work." She smiled.
"Hey it's starting to snow." Ross commented as he looked out the window. "That's a change." He paused. "Change. That's exactly what I need right now." He thought out loud.
"I know what you mean. Maybe it'll bring us good luck." She smiled at him.
***
"Oh, my God! It's three thirty!" Ross shouted, looking at his watch.
"Really?" She asked. "I should go, I have to work in the morning. So I guess I'll see you there." She smiled.
"Yeah. But, if I don't happen to run into you, we're still on for Saturday, right?" He asked.
"Yeah." She nodded excitedly. They stood there for a few moment, looking into one another's eyes. Ross pushed away a strand of long blonde hair form her face. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a passionate kiss that would change his life forever
Is this love that I'm feeling
Is this the love that I've been searching for
Is this love or am I dreaming
This must be love
Cuz it's really got a hold on me
Hold on me
"Oh, my God. What did I do? What am I going to do?" Ross nervously mumbled to himself as he awkwardly stumbled about the city, heading for the apartment building. He was ashamed of what he'd done, the way he'd treated Rachel. He hated himself for his selfishness. He couldn't believe how he'd acted, and didn't know how he could possibly expect Rachel to understand. Looking back on it all, he wondered if she could ever forgive him.
He begged and pleaded persistently for days despite her tears. He saw her pain, but it didn't matter. He looked right past it. He was so concerned with himself, so infatuated with the idea of calling her his own, he didn't even take the time to think about how she felt. He loved her too much to let her go. At that time, he didn't realize that love was all about wanting that person t be happy more than yourself. Now he knew this, but it may be too late.
He circled the block time and time again desperately scouring his mind for words that could justify his behavior and get his friend back. Finally, he decided there was nothing in the world he could say to make what he did okay. He just had to tell her how sorry he was and hope she could find it in her heart to forgive him. He finally brought himself to enter the building and ran up the stairs, still torturing himself with his thoughts.
"Oh, Rach, sorry. I wasn't paying attention. Thank God you two are here. I really need to talk to you." He accidentally bumped into her in the hall.
'Well, actually, Ross, we have dinner reservations in fifteen minutes." She replied coldly, avoiding eye contact. She wanted so much not to be mad at him, to be able to put this whole thing behind them, to have her friend back. She knew he loved her, that he never meant to hurt her, but he did. And it still hurt too much to forgive that easily, no matter how much she wished she could.
"Oh." He paused, feeling the jealousy pierce his heart. "Well, it can wait."
"Ross, you know, I think we all have some things to work out. Why don't you come with us to dinner and we can talk." Joey suggested. He could see the heartbreak in Ross' eyes, knowing all too well how that felt, and knowing the last thing he wanted was to be alone. Joey knew he felt horrible about losing Rachel and for how he acted, and wanted to give him his chance to make it right.
"Oh, I don't want to intrude on your date." Ross said.
"Ross, please." Joey insisted. Ross nodded. Rachel felt like she could scream. She assumed Ross just wanted to beg for her to take him back again. She was far too angry to realize that he wanted to apologize.
The three of them sat there, desperately waiting for their food to arrive so they could just get it over with and go home. They sat there in silence, waiting for someone to be bold and say something.
Ross must have tried a thousand times that night to just spit the words out, but just couldn't do it. Every time he saw Rachel's face, all he could see was the grief he had caused her. He tried to convince himself that he was just waiting for the right moment, but deep down he knew he was waiting for the moment he could finally get a word out of his mouth at all. The whole thing seemed pointless to him. What good would apologizing do?
Joey sat there, looking at Rach, then Ross. Rach, then Ross. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and he was waiting for the full fledged brawl to break out. He could see how angry Rachel was, he could almost feel it.
Rachel tried to contain her anger which just seemed to grow with every glance at him. She hated him for just sitting there, for being such a coward. For not even saying what he come and ruined their first date to say. He looked so pathetic, so hurt, she almost felt sorry for him. She just wanted him to say anything.
"Rach, I just, I just want to tell you that I'm sorry." He finally broke the silence. "I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for coming back into your life. I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry for everything, Rach. Everything. I wish I could take it all back. I know now that you and I are over. I can learn to accept hat. But I know that I could never accept the fact that you and I will never be friends again. I know what I did was horrible, but I will do anything if you and I can just go back to being friends. I know I couldn't live without having you as a friend." He admitted genuinely.
"Wh-wha---I thought you were coming here to beg for me to take you back again." She was completely taken by surprise.
"Trust me, if I thought it would do any good…" He laughed a little. I will always love you, Rach, But that's just not enough. So all I want is for you to be happy."
"Really? Do you really mean that?" She asked.
"I do." He admitted, looking into her eyes, taking one last look at what he knew he would miss for the rest of his life. She immediately flew out of her chair and yanked him into a hug.
"Thank-you." She tried to hold back her tears. "Thank you so much for understanding." She cried, resting her head on his shoulder.
"No...no, thank-you for not hating me." He joked. Joey smiled, overjoyed that it was finally over. He could see how upset Rachel was before, and knew with Ross and her friends again, she would be just fine.
"Joey, I owe you an apology too." Ross said once he and Rachel finally parted from their long overdue embrace.
"Ross, no you don't. I understand."
"Yes, I do" He insisted. "I treated you just as badly as I did her. I forgot for a minute there that we were friends and I'm sorry." He apologized. Joey hugged him as a sign of forgiveness and consolation.
"So are you okay?" Rachel asked, just to make sure they could now put this whole thing behind them.
"Yeah." He smiled in confirmation. He felt better just knowing he had his friend back.
"I mean…about…this?" She put her arm around Joey. She was a little worried still that their relationship might not go over very well with him. She knew better than anyone that it took time to get over someone, and she thought seeing them with someone else must be unbearable.
"Yeah." He lied, forcing a smile. He knew he could eventually manage to get over her completely, but it would take time, a lot of time. He didn't want to upset her anymore, so he felt it best to just hide his true feelings until he really could say he was over her. He had had plenty of experience hiding feelings, he did it for ten years with Rachel.
That was it. That was why he couldn't get over her. He had devoted ten years of his life to being completely in love with her. He could barely remember life without loving Rachel. He didn't know how to live without loving her. But now, for the first time, he knew the obsession must end. Now he knew for a fact that Rachel didn't love him, and he couldn't go on like that. He couldn't love someone who didn't love him. Not anymore.
"So we're all friends again right?" Joey asked in conformation.
"Yeah, we are." Rachel smiled at Ross.
"So you guys want to go see a movie after dinner?" Joey suggested.
"Sure that would be great." Rachel replied after Ross nodded.
Ross sat there in the theater for two hours almost in tears. He knew it was immature and pathetic and senseless to feel this way, but there was no stopping it. He just wanted to stop loving her, to be able to move on. That, was what scared him. What if he could never love anyone else?
"Hey, Ross, you wanna come to our place for a while, there's a South Park marathon on tonight!" He offered excitedly.
"Oh, please, Ross, save me!" Rachel joked.
"No thanks." He replied half-heartedly.
"Are you okay?" Rachel asked. She knew the answer to that, but it hurt her to know how much pain she was causing him and that there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn't force herself to love him.
"I'm fine. I just need to be alone for a while." He reported.
"Okay, but if you need us, feel free to come over." Joey offered.
"Thanks."
"See you tomorrow!" They said in unison as they entered the apartment building, wrapped in each other's arms.
Ross walked for what seemed like days, just feeling sorry for himself, not knowing what to do about it. He hadn't the slightest idea where he was heading, he just didn't want to go home, not yet. He eventually reached a small convenience store and decided to stop in for coffee. He walked over to the coffee machine and grabbed a Styrofoam cup. He was just reaching for the French Vanilla Cappuccino when another cup met his.
"Oh, sorry. Go ahead." A woman's voice offered.
"No that's ok, you go." Ross insisted. The woman smiled at him and poured her coffee.
When Ross was leaving the store, he didn't notice that same woman fumbling around in her purse and swung the door open in her face, causing her to drop her cappuccino.
"Oh, my God. I'm sorry." He apologized.
"That's ok. My fault…shouldn't have been standing in front of the door."
"Let me buy you another coffee. " He suggested.
"Oh, you don't have to."
"French Vanilla, right?" He joked.
"How'd you guess?" He laughed. When he returned with the coffee, they sat at the back of the store, where they were tables.
"Ross Geller." He introduced himself as they sat down.
"Kerri Walker."
"That name sounds familiar, do I know you?"
"I doubt it, I just moved here form Reno."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, my first day at work, which was a nightmare by the way." She laughed at her own misfortune.
"Oh, what is it that you do?" He asked.
"I teach over at the college a few blocks away."
"That's where I know you from!" Ross shouted. She looked at him questioningly. "I work at that college. A friend told me about you."
"Great! Now I can say I know someone at work." She smiled.
"Hey it's starting to snow." Ross commented as he looked out the window. "That's a change." He paused. "Change. That's exactly what I need right now." He thought out loud.
"I know what you mean. Maybe it'll bring us good luck." She smiled at him.
***
"Oh, my God! It's three thirty!" Ross shouted, looking at his watch.
"Really?" She asked. "I should go, I have to work in the morning. So I guess I'll see you there." She smiled.
"Yeah. But, if I don't happen to run into you, we're still on for Saturday, right?" He asked.
"Yeah." She nodded excitedly. They stood there for a few moment, looking into one another's eyes. Ross pushed away a strand of long blonde hair form her face. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a passionate kiss that would change his life forever
Is this love that I'm feeling
Is this the love that I've been searching for
Is this love or am I dreaming
This must be love
Cuz it's really got a hold on me
Hold on me