"Jon? Oh, God, Jon are you okay?"

He hadn't moved since he returned home, six hours later still sitting on the floor against the turned over couch as tears blotched his face. Jon didn't have the will to do anything anymore. As if this last year was for nothing, like all of his hard work was pulled out from other him and he lost a year of his life. All the money he had saved up, his electronics, everything he worked so hard for, gone. Along with his spirits, happiness, love, and trust- It was all gone.

Jon didn't know what more to do but to call someone to help him clean up or to even help him get up from the floor since it felt like he was nailed to the ground. Emma got there first and for almost an hour just sat with Jon's head in her lap as her fingers stroked his blond hair. He tried not to cry, but small tears snaked from his eyes and dripped over his nose, landing against the blue jeans Emma was wearing. She didn't say a word, though, waiting until he was ready to talk and not pushing him even if he didn't want to.

Joe got there a few hours after, making Jon's heart hurt even more as it felt like it sunk to his stomach. He didn't even realize how much he'd miss the older man, his eyes tracing over the familiar face, jaw line, tied up hair, biceps covered by a black short sleeved shirt, and loose sweat pants that hung off him beautifully leaving little to the imagination. "Hey.. Fuck, what happened here?"

Emma shifted and Jon could feel her tense underneath him, causing him to sit up. "You must be Joe." She said politely, getting up to stick her hand out to the bigger man. "I'm Emma, Jon's.. uh, friend. He hasn't talked much since I've been here but maybe you can get him to open up a bit. I actually have to get to class so.." She turned to look at Jon, smiling as leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Are you going to be okay?"

He simply nodded, letting Emma know that it was alright if she left, watching as the younger woman collected her things, smiled at Joe, and left the apartment, closing the door behind her. Jon gathered himself up and began to stand up when he felt Joe's hands helping him, but he jerked away from him instantly. "I don't need your help."

"Jon, you're the one who called me, remember?"

Jon shook his head, pushing his messy blond hair from his face. "Look, just leave. I'll be fine on my own."

"You can barely stand up. Let me help you."

"I don't need your help! Don't you have some slut to go fuck or something?"

Joe scoffed and shook his head, hands sliding into the pockets of his sweat pants. "Okay, I deserve that. I deserve fucking worse for what I did to you, but if you think that I'm just going to leave you in your time of need, you got another fucking thing coming. Jon, I care about you. No matter who I'm with or what I've done, I want to make sure you're okay. And if that means staying here until you feel safe or until every piece of furniture is put back in its place, so be it."

"Why?" Jon asked, pawing at his face as tears flowed freely from his eyes. "Why the fuck should I trust you again, huh, Joe? You did nothing but lie to me the two months you were with me. You did nothing but take my love and threw it back in my face every time you walked out that door and into Colby's arms. And then you just give up! When I didn't return your calls, when I wasn't giving you the attention you craved, you gave up."

"That's not what happened."

"Then what the fuck happened?!" His voice broke, hand clenching at his tight chest.

Joe frowned and broke eye contact with Jon as he looked around, sighing at the damage done to Jon's house. "Come with me. I'll put you in a hotel for a couple days and call a cleaning service to pick all this shit up."

"I don't want your help."

"I'll let you borrow some money until you get back on your feet," Joe continued as if Jon hadn't spoke. "Let me help you."

"Why?"

"Because you need someone to."

"I don't need you."

"Maybe not, but I know that you're too damn prideful to ask anyone for help. I know that you'd rather suffer in silence like you have your whole life than to trust me again, but damnit, Jon, I care! Despite my flaws, I care about you and I can't stand to see you hurting. So please. If only for tonight, just let me fucking take care of you."

He should have said no. Jon should have pushed Joe until he was out of his apartment and slammed the door right in his face. He should have trusted his instinct instead of going back to being that scared little boy who desperately needed the attention of others. He should of said no, but the word seemed so hard to say when it came to Joe. And so he found himself in a nice hotel with this man, clothes shredded from his body as he joined Joe in the tub, leaning against him, craving the comfort that only Joe provided. And he knew it was wrong. He knew it was so damn wrong to enjoy the feel of his fingers against his skin, Joe's breath against his neck, or the way his body seemed to just melt into his so perfectly. He should have said no when teeth grazed at his ear and soft words of endearment made goosebumps rise on his skin. He should have shouted no tell he was blue in the face when lips found their way to his shoulder, kissing the collarbone that led up to his neck, fingers turning his chin towards Joe's face and they were kissing- Slowly, without rush, getting reacquainted with each other's mouths, tongues, and lips as they passionately made out, the water sloshing around them.

But he didn't. The whole time, he didn't say no. Jon couldn't find the word even as he was being carried in Joe's strong arms back to the bed and laid down on the plush hotel mattress, he couldn't. The bed shifted under Joe's weight as he climbed on, legs on either side of Jon, hands crawling up the blond's chest as if he were remembering every inch. Long strands of black hair fell over Jon's shoulders and back and Jon couldn't help but run his fingers through the locks, missing the way it felt against his skin. He smiled, hooded eyes looking up at the man above him, a man so perfect, so beautiful, who could have anyone he pleased yet he wanted Jon. He couldn't fathom that. Couldn't believe that it was true, thinking he was going to wake up at any moment, but he didn't- And he wasn't going to because this was reality. And he felt it as Joe kissed his skin, strong hands gripping his waist, his own legs wrapped around Joe, clinging to him desperately. He felt it when Joe's manhood pressed against his entrance, back arching off the mattress and he begged to be made love to in a voice he couldn't even recognize as his own. Head spinning, everything felt as if were moving so far around them, which Joe and him were moving in the slowest speed possible. He felt every inch of Joe filling him for the first time. The walls of his puckered hole would wail if they had a voice, would scream, beg, plead for more. Instead they welcomed the massive size of Joe's length, they welcomed the penetration, welcome the pleasure and the pain, welcomed the skin to skin contact they craved so much. Inch by inch by inch by fucking inch, Joe filled Jon until he was nothing but a weeping heap of a man beneath him, every inhale shaky, every exhale even shakier. His fingers clung to Joe's biceps like his shirts did, nails digging into the tanned skin. His mouth hung open as moans flowed freely into the air and Joe reciprocated every single one with groans and growls of his own. His blue eyes stayed on Jon's grey blue ones the whole time, which made the whole process that much more intense. And when the words 'I love you' came from Jon's mouth at the same time that he came as every limb on his body shivered uncontrollably, he only thought of one thing other than the pleasure:

'I should have said no.'