What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away

"Did you hear the news?"

Killian looked up from his pint and at one of his crew members, whose name he couldn't remember due to his drunken stupor.

"What," he growled. For the past several months he had been exceptionally cold and he didn't know why. No. That was a lie, he knew exactly why: he loved Emma enough to leave her behind so that she can live the life that she oh-so deserved; a life of riches and everything she deserved and more. Everything he couldn't give her.

"Our old friend, the princess, has a son," His crew mate replied, taking a heavy seat next to the Captain.

"Emma has a son?" Killian repeated slowly, turning the words over just as slowly in his mind.

His shipmate nodded, "Yes, and there are rumors floating around the child."

Finally the words sunk in and Killian only felt that much worst. The only love of his life was happily married and had a son with a man Killian had come to despise.

Killian shook his head, clearing it of all the clouded emotions and focusing on his crew mate…. Jim, that's his name.

"What are the rumours?" Killian asked, his trip down memory lane had sobered him up quicker than he liked, but he need a clear head because rumours have some truth in them and are great for blackmail.

Jim leaned in close and whispered lowly, looking around paranoid, "It's said, that the child is not of her husband."

"How so?" Killian asked immediately intrigued. His mind shot to that night, just several months ago, when he knew her and memorized every inch of her.

"The child is said to have eyes as blue as the sea and hair as dark as night," Jim said lowly, but looking at his captain expectantly. He was one of the few that were perceptive enough to notice the dalliance between Killian and the Princess.

The Captain looked at Jim, "He must have his grandfather's eyes and fathers hair."

"Killian, you know as well as me that, that is far from the truth," Jim said, accusation hidden in his tone.

Killian shot him a dark look that masked his denial, "It is Emma and Baelfire's son. Don't ever bring this up, again."

Jim raised his hands innocently and took a swig from his mug, "Aye, aye, Captain."

Killian sat there staring at his mug, every emotion fighting to take control of him. He felt pain as he realized that he gave up what he treasured most. He felt regret for never telling her how much he loved her and how he would lay down his own life for her. He felt agony because he was living every minute without Emma. He felt fear because he didn't know if he'd ever get another chance at something as beautiful as he had with Emma. He felt hatred against himself because he was such a fool for letting her go and now he had to live in agony.

The storm of emotions was raging inside of him, relentless and careless. Destroying him slowly. Desensitizing him to everything within him. The the rain outside and the sounds from inside the tavern, all turned into white noise as he caged all he had inside. He became numb.

"Tell me Jim-bo," Killian said looking up with a strange sparkle in his eyes, "How does a short trip to Neverland sound?"

"It sounds grand, Cap'n" Jim replied the spirit of the table lifting, "when do we sail?"

"We leave at dawn," Killian started, before looking at his mug quickly then at Jim,"But first, what's the boy's name?"