Dear Diary,
I am completely freaking out! It's
Monday. Which means it's Finn's last
day. And he isn't even staying! He's fucking
going in, talking to the head of sixth
form, and leaving! I'm fucked. Actually fucking
fucked. I'm so scared. Everyone's going
to gang up on me, say shit about me, and
someone's going to do something just
plain awful. I know it. Just know it.
I told Kester about it on Saturday.
He told me that what happened in high
school, wasn't going to happen again. He
told me that those people are out of my
life, and I argued back, that with Finn
out of the picture, aka. the fittest and hardest
boy in Lincolnshire, I was just some random
fat chick, that everyone was going to target.
Of course, that got about fifteen fucking
minutes worth of lecturing from Kester.
*Rolls eyes* ugh. I thought therapy was all
about freedom of speech, and all that shit?!
Finn is picking me up for school. Even though
I insisted on walking, because I was going
to have to get used to the idea of getting
to school alone. And after arguing last night
for five whole minutes, Finn won. As fucking
per usual. Why is it that Rae Earl can't
win at all these days?!
Well, it's like, almost time for Finn to
pick me up for the dreaded day at school,
so... I'm going to go. I'll give you the
low-down later on, most probably.
Bye. Rae.
Taking a deep breath, as I shoved my diary into my backpack, I then slung it over my shoulder, and I walked downstairs.
"Rachel, you're going to be late if you don't get a move on." My mum said, walking into the hallway.
I rolled my eyes,
"Ah'm on me way now, aren't I?"
"There's no need for any of that attitude, Rachel!" Mum scolded.
I sighed,
"Ah can either stand 'ere an' listen t' y' go on and on, but then, ah'd be late." I told her, before I walked over to the front door and I opened it, walking out of the front door. I sighed deeply in relief, and I walked over to Finn, whom was leaning against his motorbike.
"Looking happy as ever." He teased.
I rolled my eyes, putting my helmet on over my head,
"Can we jus' go before she fuckin' comes out?" I asked.
Finn chuckled, glancing back at the house, and then at me,
"Kitchen window, babe."
I sighed,
"Oh, wonderful." I replied sarcastically.
Finn and I climbed onto his bike, and as I wrapped my arms around his waist, he started the engine and drove off down the street.
When we arrived at school, we both climbed off the bike, and took off the helmets, and Finn held my hand, as we walked towards the school entrance. I felt as if everyone's eyes were on us. Were they? Or was it just my mind playing tricks on me? Don't freak out, Rae. Don't freak out. My mind told me. I felt Finn gently squeeze my hand, and I looked over at him, and we both shared a smile.
"Ah jus' wanna say, everything's gonna be alright, y'know?" He told me quietly, as we both walked through the corridor.
I nodded, but I refused to say anything.
"Rae!" I heard someone shout.
Finn and I stopped walking, and as we turned around, I saw Izzy come running towards us,
"Oh, thank god! I need your help!" She gushed, before she looked at Finn. "Sorry, Finn. She's coming with me."
Finn chuckled slightly,
"Well, since ah don't really 'ave a choice." He joked and winked at me. "Ah'll see y' after school."
I smiled small at him and nodded, letting go of Finn's hand, and I let Izzy drag me away. I quickly looked over my shoulder, stealing a glance of Finn watching me with a smile on his face, before Izzy pulled me into the girl's bathroom.
"Rae, it's almost Chop's birthday, and I have no idea what to get him!" She freaked out.
I tilted my head to the side, and began to think,
"Y'know, Chop. He in't really into ought big, an' that." I paused. "Well," I let out a laugh, "unless it's a party."
We both shared a laugh, and then Izzy sighed deeply, tucking her hair behind her ears,
"I know, I know. But we're a couple now! And ah want to get him something special. Y'know?"
I smiled and nodded at her. Unlike Izzy, Finn and me were pretty similar. Picking out a birthday present for Finn would be a piece of piss. But, Chop on the other hand... He was going to be a difficult one.
"D'y' want me to ask Finn?" I asked.
Izzy's face dropped with relief,
"Oh my god, thank you so much, Rae!" Izzy beamed, before wrapping her arms around my neck, embracing me into a tight hug.
I hugged her back, a smile appearing on my face, and then we pulled apart. As we did, the bathroom door opened. We turned our heads to see Chloe walking inside. Chloe's face landed on me, and I could see the slight glare behind her look.
"Chloe! Feels like forever since ah've seen ya!" Izzy beamed again.
Chloe broke her gaze from me, and she faked a smile,
"'Iya, Iz. Ah've jus' been a busy bee, ain't I?"
Izzy giggled,
"How was your double date then?" Izzy grinned wide, looking at Chloe, then at me, and then back to Chloe.
I looked at Chloe. I was willing to just let her lie. Just to save the embarrassment.
"It wa' great." I lied, looking at Izzy. "We all 'ad a great time." I looked back at Chloe. "Din't we?"
Chloe seemed to relax a little, and she nodded,
"Yeah. Wa' great."
Izzy squealed slightly, clapping her hands,
"Oh, that's such great news!" She said enthusiastically.
Chloe and me let out a small laugh, and then the bell rang.
"Ooh, we best get to class!" Izzy skipped out of the bathroom, and just as I was about to, Chloe held my wrist.
"Thanks, Rae."
I smiled at her, and then we both walked out of the bathroom, and towards our classes.
*FINN'S POV*
I sat there outside the head of sixth form's office, my leg bouncing with nerves, as I waited for my name to be called.
"Mr. Nelson?" He called a minute later.
My head shot up to him, and I nodded standing up, picking up my bag and throwing it over my shoulder. He led me into his office, and then we both took a seat.
"So I heard you're wanting to leave sixth form?" Mr. Chapman asked.
I cleared my throat slightly, and I cleared my throat,
"Uh, yeah." Fucking calm down, Finn!
"Any particular reason for this?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at me.
"Um... Ah jus' don't think sixth form is that useful for me." I admitted. Mr. Chapman waited for me to continue. I licked my lips, "Uh, I wanna open this abandoned old record shop, yeah? An' ah've been talkin' to me mam an' dad, an' they're on board wi' it all. Me dream is t' own a record shop, -a successful one-, an' when I 'ave enough money, an' stuff, ah'd build a radio booth in't back." I was surprised with how open I was being. And I think Mr. Chapman was, too.
He smiled at me, yes, an actual genuine smile,
"Well then, Finn. I suppose there's nothing for you here then." I breathed a sigh of relief. "But, I did want to talk to you about something else, as well."
I raised my eyebrows at him,
"Yeah?"
He nodded,
"I've seen your grades, Mr. Nelson." Here we fucking go. I thought to myself. "And if you are serious about this music and radio business, then I definitely think you should take it on."
I blinked twice,
"W-wha'?"
"Your grades in these subjects are the best I've seen from you. It's quite clear that this is what you want to do." Mr. Chapman handed me a piece of paper. "Just sign on the dotted line, and then you've officially left sixth form."
I took the pen from him, and I signed the paper, before handing back to him.
Then Mr. Chapman stood up, and I did the same. He held out his hand,
"Good luck, Mr. Nelson. I'll be sure to pop in once you've got the store up and running."
I grinned at him,
"Cheers." I shook his hand, and then I walked out of his office, adjusting my bag strap on my shoulder.
*RAE'S POV*
It was lunch. I knew Finn had officially left, because he wasn't waiting for me, outside of music, like he usually did. I sighed to myself, holding onto my bag straps, and I walked down the corridor, keeping my gaze low. I heard someone calling my name. Looking over my shoulder, I felt all my hope rise inside me. Maybe he changed his mind. I thought to myself. My hopes instantly faded, when I saw Archie jogging over to me. I faked a smile, and as he reached me, he grinned,
"How you doing?" He asked.
I shrugged,
"Ah'm alright. 'Ow about you?" I asked.
We both walked towards the canteen, and then as we walked inside, Archie nodded towards the lunch queue.
I smiled and shook my head,
"Nah, ah'm alright. Don't feel well." I told him.
Archie's face dropped with concern,
"Is everything okay, Rae?"
I nodded, faking a smile on my face,
"Yep! Yeah, ah'm fine. Jus' not feeling up t' eatin'."
I could tell that Archie was determined to carry this on further, and I knew that he was one sentence away from mentioning Finn. Quickly glancing at the lunch queue, I then shoved him gently,
"Best get in that queue before it gets bigger!" I said.
Archie nodded, adjusting his glasses, and then he walked over to the end of the lunch queue.
I made my way over to where Izzy and Chloe were sitting, and I sat down beside Chloe,
"'Iya." I greeted them.
"Hi, Rae!" Izzy grinned.
I placed my denim bag under the table, between my feet, and I rested my elbows on the table, resting my fists under my chin.
"Not eating?" Chloe asked, looking at me.
I looked back at her, and smiled slightly, shaking my head,
"Not hungry." I murmured.
Chloe's face turned concerned,
"Is everything alright, Rae?"
I nodded,
"Yeah. Jus' not feelin' great."
My eyes looked away from her, and down to the table. In the corner of my eye, I noticed that Chloe had gotten salad, and a small bit of pasta. Izzy, on the other hand, had gone for chips and some pasta.
A few minutes later, Archie sat down opposite me, with chips and some nuggets on his plate. I smirked, badly wanting to make some sort of joke, but the moment instantly faded from inside me. We both shared a smile, and then my gaze dropped to my lap, as I took my elbows off the table.
"It's quiet without the boys. Don't y' think?" Izzy asked, taking a sip of her orange juice.
My chest ached at Izzy's words. It was quiet. But that's usually because I spent most of lunch talking and laughing with Finn. Oh, Finn. My mind sighed.
"Izzy!" Chloe hissed quietly.
"What?" She asked, looking at Chloe confused.
Chloe's eyes slyly snapped to my direction, and Izzy caught on,
"Ohhhh!" She looked at me and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, Rae."
I shrugged, shaking my head,
"S'alright." I told her.
Everyone was walking on eggshells around me? Are you fucking serious? I sighed slightly, tucking my hair behind my ears, and then I listened in to the three of them talking, wishing I had my Finn beside me. I shook my head, standing up from the table, and I picked up my bag from under the table.
"Where're you going Rae?" Archie asked.
Ignoring his question, I slung my bag over my shoulder, sighing deeply, and I walked out of the canteen, and down towards my locker. I wasn't having my friends pussy-footing around me. Okay, I was fucking depressed about Finn leaving sixth form, and I was worried as fuck to what was going to happen me, but I didn't need my friends pitying me. I checked my schedule: Radio. Walking over to my room, I saw my teacher, Mr. Jones, sitting at his desk. I knocked twice, before walking in.
"Hi, sir. Jus' wanted t' say, that ah don't think ah'll be in class today."
He raised his eyebrows at me,
"Oh?"
I shook my head,
"Ah'm not feelin' too well." I lied. And before he could reply, I quickly added. "Think its women problems."
He nodded quickly, and I was relieved that my teacher was male. They always got uncomfortable when you talked about female problems,
"Right. Okay. Well, get better soon, Rachel."
I faked a smile, and then I walked out of his classroom, and I rushed down the corridor, and I pushed open the exit doors, relieved the feel the fresh air hit me.